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An ebook published by
事業／計画（する） Gutenberg Australia
城s in the 空気／公表する:
Marjorie Bowen:
eBook No.: 2300751h.html
Language: English
Date first 地位，任命するd: May 2023
Most 最近の update: May 2023
This eBook was produced by Paul Moulder, Colin Choat and Roy Glashan
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Cover based on a computer-生成するd image
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"DON'T look at those 製図／抽選s."
Bearden spoke so はっきりと that his wife dropped the folio she had just taken from the tall carved bureau in the corner of the spacious office, and turned, alarmed, at the strange トン in that familiar 発言する／表明する.
"Oh, you startled me," she said in 混乱; and, stooping, gathered the 製図／抽選s and 取って代わるd them in the 大臣の地位, 追加するing: "Why shouldn't I look at them? I （機の）カム on them by chance...you're late. You said you'd be 支援する half an hour ago. I've been waiting."
John Bearden had again assumed his usual 静かな manner.
"Of course," he answered, "there is no 推論する／理由 why you should not look at the 製図／抽選s. They are old things. I am rather ashamed of them, I suppose, and it startled me a little to see you at that bureau; I can't remember when it was last 打ち明けるd. It's a long time ago, anyhow."
"I don't know why I went to it, except—井戸／弁護士席, chance. Just because I was rather idle and bored, I suppose, waiting here for you. You know, I thought about something for our house, 'Bellflowers.'"
He heard, but he did not 答える／応じる to this 発言／述べる, which she tried to make very animated and enthusiastic. 存在 a most 極度の慎重さを要する woman, she said at once:
"Of course you are tired of 'Bellflowers.' I have made too many suggestions and alterations."
"Bellflowers" was the house he was building for her—for them both. Their marriage was 一般的に called an ideal marriage, and this was to be an ideal house, a 構成要素 realisation of those 城s in the 空気／公表する so romantically and 終始一貫して 心にいだくd by many, 達成するd by so few.
Two years they had been 雇うd—she for nearly all her time, he for nearly all his leisure—in this building of "Bellflowers."
He was an architect, famous 同様に as successful. She was a woman with both money and taste, who lived in a fastidious, elegant world of her own 創造; and herself created a fastidious and elegant world for others by the sheer radiance of her presence, which was at once still and lovely, delicate and strong. She had always created a rich world for her husband. They 直面するd each other rather awkwardly in he luxurious room of his own designing, which was part of the office 控訴 which he had in this old and gracious house.
She so seldom （機の）カム to his office, and now she had come and waited for him, and been moved to look in the bureau which he kept there, for the sake of its beauty of line and the dark, richly orange colour of the 古代の lacquer; and he, though he stood so 静かな, did not know how to を取り引きする this 会合.
She, too, felt ill at 緩和する, 持つ／拘留するing the old 製図／抽選s in the worn green marble 大臣の地位, and she looked at him shyly, wondering why he had been displeased to find her there, why he had made that explanation.
"I've been ちらりと見ることing at your old stuff," she 自白するd, making an agreeable 成果／努力 to rid the moment of its ぎこちない 緊張する, "and I liked the 製図／抽選s very much. Please, John, cannot I still look at them?"
He repeated sullenly:
"They're old stuff, don't bother with them. I did them years ago, before we met."
"Designed for gardens," she said, "designed for houses."
"Of course, I never did anything else, did I?"
"But it looks like the garden and the house," smiled Aurelia Bearden.
Her husband turned away to his desk, and bent over some letters which waited there for him to 調印する.
"What made you come 負かす／撃墜する here, Aurelia?" he asked, not looking at her. "Couldn't you have waited till this evening about the house?"
"I'm worrying you, I suppose." Her smile was rather faint. She had the presumptuous vanity to believe she could never worry anyone. "Now I have this idea in my 長，率いる, the house doesn't seem やめる 権利."
"Not even after all the trouble?" he replied as lightly as possible, and yet it seemed a lightness that cost him an 成果／努力. "Not やめる 権利 yet?"
"井戸／弁護士席, perhaps it never will be," she 譲歩するd. "I don't know. There is something a little wrong—one does worry, I suppose...too much...and seeing those 製図／抽選s..." A 公式文書，認める of excitement crept into her delicious 発言する／表明する. "I thought I'd 設立する it. These old 製図／抽選s of yours...who knows, John...?" She put 今後 her 嘆願 very delicately and diffidently. "Perhaps before you were やめる successful and famous, there was something—I don't know—something about your work—"
"That's 行方不明の now, I suppose." He finished the 宣告，判決 for her, and finished it perfectly. "Don't tell me that, Aurelia. There is nothing more irritating for a man than to be told that his work has gone off. Success is nothing at all if you feel that you are not doing 同様に as you did at first."
"Why, of course I know that," she said hurriedly. "But it wasn't at all what I meant to 暗示する—do look at them, John—I 推定する／予想する you have forgotten all about them, and they really are 半端物—beautiful 製図／抽選s."
He brought the 大臣の地位 to his desk and laid it open before him, and with 罰金 elegant fingers turned over the 製図／抽選s and sketches in water-colour and in pencil, and the designs on blue paper traced in white and red; formal architectural designs, which all seemed to be ーするつもりであるd for one house.
There were 熟考する／考慮するs in water-colour for a garden quidnunc; a pleached walk, a walk that looked dark, haunted with melancholy and had a white, remote statue in the 中央 of the 影をつくる／尾行するs; a terrace and the 内部の of a low 議会 which looked out on to the moonlight over the wide park.
"Fantasies," 発言／述べるd John Bearden, "a boy's fancies—nothing in them—not practical."
"But you made your 指名する," she reminded him, "on fantasies like these...."
"Don't remind me of that prize," he smiled rather dryly. "One never gets away from these things; if I hadn't done it on that I should have done it on something else."
"Of course," she 譲歩するd, but not with 有罪の判決. She wished that he would not so often belittle that 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の piece of luck which had made his career when he had won the 広大な／多数の／重要な prize 申し込む／申し出d by a very 豊富な, eccentric man, for a 城 to be built in the Tyrol, 栄冠を与えるing a mountain, overhanging a valley.
The prize had been so handsome and so 井戸／弁護士席 advertised that architects from all over the world had competed. And it had been John Bearden—then a very young and very obscure man—who had won the glittering トロフィー of money and fame.
His design, and the manifold 製図／抽選s that …を伴ってd it, had been so beautiful, so lively and stately, so practical and yet so 初めの, an artist's dream materialised, that he had touched, at once, those ambitious 首脳会議s that most men みなす themselves happy to 達成する in old age.
But more than this—it was through the prize 製図／抽選s that he had met Aurelia. All the designs that had competed had been 展示（する）d in a London gallery, and Aurelia—罰金, fastidious, difficult to please—had gone to see them and paused before the winning 製図／抽選, not knowing even that it had procured the prize, but fascinated 完全に by this house—this palace—rising from garden and 支持を得ようと努めるd.
"Why, I dreamt about that place," she had exclaimed at once. "I've been there in dreams." And then she tried to laugh away the commonplace 発言／述べる. "We've all had that feeling, 港／避難所't we?" she 追加するd lightly to her companion. But it was not lightly that she gazed at the pictured house which she felt that she knew so 井戸／弁護士席; surely she had once wandered from one room to another, yes, and over the gardens too. "Isn't it 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の?" she was 軍隊d to murmur. And her companion had told her, rather dryly, that everyone thought it "驚くべき／特命の／臨時の."
For this was the winning 製図／抽選, which had brought, not only the prize of several thousands of 続けざまに猛撃するs to the lucky young man who had conceived it, but also a 相当な and brilliant 未来.
"I must 会合，会う that young man," mused Aurelia. And she had met him and married him within a few months.
She could never think of him as a stranger—the man who could design that house must have had some 入ること／参加（者） into her soul long before they had met in the flesh. 手渡す in 手渡す they had walked through that 城 in the 空気／公表する, of that she was 納得させるd. His dream and her dream had been 同一の—one dream—she was 確かな . He had been able to put his dream on paper—so to arrange it that it could be 後部d in 石／投石する and brick and marble, の中で trees and 激しく揺するs. Her dream had been held in her heart 内密に; but they had met because of it—nothing could shake her 約束 in that...the dream they had 株d in spirit so long before they knew of the 存在 of each other.
He told her that the prize 製図／抽選s were the result of years of meditation on that particular house or palace which had haunted him, and she said that she also had meditated on such a house and walked through it with him—she was sure...yes, there had always been someone with her in those dreams, though shadowy, impersonal.
This was the sort of marriage that 肉親，親類d people liked to talk about—in every way happy and delightful—both of them so intelligent, so enthusiastic, so keen to enjoy every 面 of life, so gifted, and in their 静かな fashion, so handsome to look at—he thin and dark, she slight and fair—both tall and graceful—both so delighted each in the other...and in their 半端物, 相互の fantasy.
That was ten years ago; and if there was a 少なくなるing in the lustre of their glittering happiness, it was 予定 to the fact that John Bearden had never 遂行するd any masterpiece equal to that first one. If he had not begun his career with such a glittering success, he would have been no more than a competent, 遂行するd architect. Everyone knew this, though no one said it to his 直面する. No one was やめる sure whether Aurelia knew it. She always talked of her husband ーに関して／ーの点でs of the most enthusiastic 忠義.
His work was 高度に paid and 高度に prized. Perhaps his patrons, 混乱させるd by the splendour of that first success, never realised how far his その後の 創造 had fallen short of that first superb 業績／成就.
Now it was all endeavour—yes, for years it had been endeavour on the part of John Bearden; but that first design had been 業績／成就...
He was hard-working, energetic, 遂行するd, and he had contrived to 持つ／拘留する the place which at one prodigious leap he had 達成するd, but he had done no more than 持つ／拘留する it; and when Aurelia had said, "Build me a house, build our 城 in the 空気／公表する—you've done it once, do it again—for me," they had between them designed "Bellflowers" and it had not "come out 権利"—it was not the house of Aurelia's dreams.
She could not talk about this. After ten years it would be childish to talk of dreams. By then, dreams should have been interwoven with reality into one 向こうずねing texture of life. She never referred to the prize 製図／抽選s through which they had met. Never till to-day, when she stood with the 大臣の地位 of sketches before her on the desk and was so delighted and so 入り口d to see them that she must speak to him about them, must hope that he would 株 this delight and entrancement.
"This is the house," she said confidently; her 罰金 直面する was 紅潮／摘発するd beneath her plumed and shady hat. "Can't you see it, John? This is our house where we've been together."
"Where we've been together?" he repeated はっきりと, and his トン made her feel childish.
"You know what I mean," she continued nervously, "the same house—the house you drew for the prize ten years ago. Here are the 草案s, they are what I recognised, when I saw them in the 展示—you know what I mean, John,—don't make me feel foolish."
"Yes, of course I know what you mean," he replied hurriedly; "you see, this is old stuff, just things I did and 投げ上げる／ボディチェックするd away—there is nothing in them really."
"But there's everything in them to me," said Aurelia. She 追加するd impulsively and injudiciously: "I like them better than anything you've done since."
John Bearden began to walk up and 負かす／撃墜する the wide spacious room.
"That's nonsense," he said, 製図／抽選 his 罰金 dark brows together in a sharp frown. "It really is, Aurelia; it's childish. After ten years of hard work, of successful work—井戸／弁護士席, I think I can say, of brilliant work—you get 持つ／拘留する of some old sketches that I've hidden away in a bureau and forgotten, and tell me they're better than anything I've done since."
To her surprise, and almost to her horror, he began in a high rather shrill 発言する／表明する to run over all the buildings he had 築くd since they had been married, almost as if he were 正当化するing himself—theatres, town-halls, 私的な houses, 公式の／役人 buildings, 橋（渡しをする）s—all successful, all 賞賛するd, all admired—and then, she had to take out these few rough 製図／抽選s and extol them above them all...it was stupid, it was exasperating, she ought not to be so annoying...
"Why, you never will be 満足させるd, Aurelia. You'd better give up 'Bellflowers,' you don't like it—I can't please you, so let's stop it, let's buy something—something old that you can turn about to your taste—I can't do what you want, it seems."
Aurelia was silent, her lip quivered, she felt stung to the soul. Of course, she had been childish and stupid—it was above everything foolish to 主張する on dreams—she せねばならない have seen that he was tired of the house. The 指名する was futile—"Bellflowers"—she did not know why she had chosen it; it wasn't really the 権利 指名する, anyhow—the only one she could think of...even after all the teasing 成果／努力 to get the 権利 指名する...
And what was the 事柄 with the house? The 非常に／多数の friends whom she had taken to see it all 宣言するd it "perfect." There was something wrong in her, not in the building, and she looked 明確に at her husband through 注目する，もくろむs that were 十分な of 涙／ほころびs, and a sharp unbidden thought （機の）カム stealing into her mind—"My fault, not his, that our marriage isn't やめる a success any more than 'Bellflowers'—any more than his career—there's something wrong...with me."
This was an 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の thought to come into Aurelia's mind, for until that moment she had believed herself a 完全に happy woman. Never to anyone would she have 認める that anything was wrong, either with her marriage or with her husband's work or with the house he was building for her—and now, in a second, this 有罪の判決 had come to her, that there was something wrong with all three, nothing やめる had come up to her 期待—he had never 成し遂げるd the work which she had 推定する／予想するd after that first 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の success, and he had never been やめる the husband that she thought he must be on the strength of that 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の dream 会合 in a house which they had both known, both conceived, which she had kept in her mind, and he had put on paper...no, never やめる that perfect lover, that perfect companion.
He was tying up the 大臣の地位 now, 製図／抽選 はっきりと together the dusty 関係, and she felt that the 活動／戦闘 was somehow 残虐な, as if he were shutting away the past, a past that was dear to her...but which to him had never been dear.
"Why are you doing that, John?" she asked instinctively. "I really like them, you know—I'm going to have them for my own—to put them in my room—they give me 広大な／多数の／重要な 楽しみ."
"No," said John Bearden 厳しく, "I can't 耐える that. It's bad enough that you've got that wretched prize 製図／抽選 there, the most 目だつ thing in the house—and every little sketch I did for it でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れるd."
"井戸／弁護士席, why not?" にもかかわらず her wish, her 発言する／表明する was sharp and challenging. "Why not, John, if it gives me 楽しみ—the greatest 楽しみ I have?"
"After ten years?" he muttered. "Your greatest 楽しみ?"
"What are years?" asked Aurelia, still on that 公式文書，認める of challenge. "We 港／避難所't changed."
"No," he 認める dryly, "we 港／避難所't changed—you're still living in a dream, and I'm still trying to make that dream come true...or have given it up, perhaps, as I gave it up from the first."
"The dreams are true in themselves," she 抗議するd, "and you were dreaming then, when we first met." She took the 大臣の地位 from him and opened it again. "How can you be so rough with yourself, even if you've changed, John?" Her beautiful 発言する／表明する was 十分な of tenderness. "Think of yourself then—that poor young man—with so little money and so little hope, sending in the 製図／抽選s for that 広大な／多数の／重要な 競争, and getting the prize, getting fame and money, and if that's any value, John, getting me, all at once. 港／避難所't you any sympathy with him and that 成果／努力?"
"You talk as if it were another person," muttered Bearden. "I don't know what we're talking about. I don't want you to have the sketches—that せねばならない be enough, Aurelia it's all 城s in the 空気／公表する."
"No, no," she 抗議するd, "not 城s in the 空気／公表する—didn't we 会合，会う?—aren't we married?" Her words seemed in some way to unnerve her husband; he made an 試みる／企てる, ぎこちない for him, for usually he was most even in his demeanour, to change the 支配する.
"What did you want to ask about 'Bellflowers'?" he asked with an 試みる／企てる at a smile. "Why did you come up here? Is it so important?" He tried to speak tenderly, but she shrank away as if he had used 厳しい words.
"Never mind about 'Bellflowers.' It's a silly 指名する, isn't it? That's one thing—I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to change that—I don't know why flowers with bells and bells with flowers have always foolishly fascinated me, of course, but somehow—no, it's silly, a pretence, it isn't real."
"And yet you were talking about dreams," he smiled, "and now you complain about something that isn't real. What is it you do want, Aurelia?"
"But dreams are real, the dreams are the one reality," she 主張するd. "You must see that; but this house isn't a dream, it's an imitation of a dream—I don't know, it's all wrong—those sketches are all 権利, and you won't let me see them."
"A man doesn't want to go backwards," he 抗議するd. "I was only a boy then, almost a child—those were just rough stupid 試みる／企てるs—they're not practical, any of them, wild designs like illustrations to a fairy tale—extravagant, unpractical. I wish you would take more 利益／興味 in what I am doing now, Aurelia—you never really have, you know."
Talk about pretence—there was pretence there, and now this grievance was out and growing between them like a 有形の creature.
She made her 抗議する quickly and ineffectively. "But, of course, I'm 利益／興味d—of course I care—what a stupid mood we both seem in, just because I admired those old 製図／抽選s."
He looked obliquely at the shabby worn 大臣の地位, and said, as if to himself, "I せねばならない have destroyed them years ago, but somehow I never could."
"Why?" asked Aurelia.
He took up the 大臣の地位 to the Spanish bureau, and his fingers seemed to shake and be clumsy as he did so, for a small card fell out of the 大臣の地位 on to the 床に打ち倒す and Aurelia 選ぶd it up. It was a worn, cheap and faded photograph of a young man.
"Who is this?" she asked.
John Bearden was carefully returning the 大臣の地位 to the bureau in the corner. He looked over his shoulder and said:
"Oh, that—that's poor Carstairs, that young Scotsman I used to 株 rooms with—you never met him?"
"No," said Aurelia, "I never met him, and I never saw his photograph before. Isn't he like Johnny?"
"Like Johnny?" cried Bearden. "What do you mean, Aurelia?"
Johnny was their little boy, their only child. Her 発言／述べる seemed most fantastic.
"I don't know," she said. "As soon as I looked at it, I thought—how like Johnny, like Johnny will be at his age—about how old?—nineteen, twenty?"
"About that," agreed Bearden sullenly. "You didn't like him?" she asked, quick to catch his inflection of disinterest.
"Like him? Oh, I don't know, we were 広大な／多数の／重要な friends—he was a queer sort of fellow, a rather raw Scotsman—he seemed to have no kith or 肉親，親類, but just his keenness for art and architecture, and he wasn't bad either. You remember he was killed."
"Yes," she answered softly, "I remember you told me that and I didn't care to hear about it. It was really dreadful, wasn't it?"
"Just a street 事故, that's all," said John Bearden grimly. "I 港／避難所't spoken of it for years. How 不正に it comes 支援する. I was telephoned for...to go to the hospital. There he was lying all 粉砕するd up—just knocked 負かす／撃墜する in the street, hurrying along, with his 長，率いる 十分な of 計画／陰謀s and 計画（する）s and hopes—and then—"
"Don't," interrupted Aurelia, "don't!"
"I sat up with him all night," said Bearden, turning に向かって the bureau. "Yes, all night, hoping that he would be able to speak—they had to give him 麻薬s, you know."
"I'm glad you did that," said Aurelia, still looking at the faded photograph.
"I couldn't have done anything else. I was the only friend he had in London."
"He was competing for the prize, too, for the 製図／抽選 of the 城 of the Tyrol, wasn't he?" said Aurelia. "I seem to remember that."
"Yes, he was competing. He told me to send his 製図／抽選 in. Just before he died he （機の）カム out of his trance or stupor—God help us! I don't know whether he knew what he was 説 or not, but he seemed to recognise me, and he said: 'The 製図／抽選's yours—do what you like with it.'"
"You sent it in, of course?" 発言／述べるd Aurelia, quickly.
"Of course," answered John Bearden. "Poor fellow, I suppose it wasn't very good—I never noticed it. I don't think anyone else did. It was a very ordinary sort of 製図／抽選, I suppose; but he had taken very 広大な／多数の／重要な 苦痛s with it. He lived for it, for months, やめる sure that he would get the prize."
"The irony of it," sighed Aurelia. "Poor fellow; but he is like Johnny—do come and look."
She drew the photograph out, and her husband had to turn and look at it.
"The same 注目する，もくろむs as Johnny, and the same mouth. He was good-looking, wasn't he?"
She put the photograph 負かす／撃墜する on the desk.
"井戸／弁護士席, I'll go now—somehow things have gone wrong this afternoon. I 港／避難所't said what I meant to say—I am afraid I've bothered you. I wish you'd let me have the 製図／抽選s. I think, you know—" She paused, and John Bearden asked:
"What do you think, Aurelia?"
"I think that if I'd looked at them long enough I should have got the 指名する of the house, which isn't 'Bellflowers.'"
"Oh, don't," cried Bearden suddenly, "don't, Aurelia! You don't know what you're 説...I don't know what's happening to us; you had better go home."
"I have 乱すd you?" she asked quickly. "You feel bothered—worried?"
"I am all 権利, Aurelia, but you know it 負傷させるs me—what you said about my work..."
"But I didn't say anything about your work; I don't know what you mean. 井戸／弁護士席, I'll go home. I wish that photograph weren't so like Johnny—it's uncanny, and you've had it hidden away there so long. Oh, John, what was his 指名する?"
"Hilary Carstairs," replied Bearden.
"I have thought of the 指名する of the place. It isn't 'Bellflowers,' of course it's 'Little Pomeroy'—I think that was the 指名する of an apple—there were three apple trees of that 肉親，親類d somewhere in the garden."
"'Little Pomeroy,' that's a stupid 指名する," stammered John Bearden. "You don't think of very good 指名するs, Aurelia. I can't imagine a house called 'Little Pomeroy.'"
"No, no," she said. "I suppose I'm foolish; but that seemed to me to be the 指名する. It is stupid, but it's the 権利 指名する. 井戸／弁護士席, I'll see you this evening. Good-bye."
She did not move, though she spoke these words of leave-taking, but stood gazing at him. He could do no other than gaze at her. And so they 星／主役にするd at each other, each conscious of something between them, but only he knew what it was.
She was still the tall, graceful woman—not beautiful, but perfect, like a light transfiguring all on which her radiance fell, with whom he had fallen in love in such an ecstasy...ten years ago. Finer, and more melancholy, perhaps, but little changed.
"I'll bring the sketches that you've 設立する," he said with an 成果／努力, "when I've just been through them."
And then she left him, but looking 支援する over her shoulder, not, he thought, at him, but at that something which had stood between them and which he knew for what it was, but that she did not and must never know.
When she had gone, John Bearden 始める，決める up before him on his handsome desk that cheap and faded photograph, and then he went to the bureau and brought out the 大臣の地位 which, but a few moments before, he had carefully locked away. Had she seen what was written on them, or had she spoken because of some terrible intuition? He turned over the 製図／抽選s. No, she could scarcely have seen, for it was written only on the 支援する, and that in a small, neat 手渡す—"Designs for a house to be called 'Pomeroy,' by Hilary Carstairs."
"I せねばならない have destroyed them with all the others," mused John Bearden to himself. "I wonder why I didn't," and he turned them over one by one—water-colours, pencil 製図／抽選s, architectural designs for an extravagant and fantastic house or palace to be called "Pomeroy." His mind went 支援する ten years to those dingy rooms which he and this boy, so much younger than himself, had 株d. He could see the 明らかにする （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する and the 青年 stooping over it—the paper, the water-colour, the pencil, the hard white electric light 広範囲にわたる 負かす／撃墜する on it all, and the 会社／堅い young 直面する frowning with absorption in his work, the vigorous young 人物／姿／数字, the supple young 手渡す—all （機の）カム 支援する to him, not for the first time. Hilary Carstairs had cared for nothing but his work. He had a passion for architecture, and above all, a passion for this particular house, this palace in the mountains の中で the 支持を得ようと努めるd, 始める，決める in luxurious gardens. It had haunted him, he had often said, all his short life.
"I've not invented it," he used to say. "I've been there; it's something I've seen in dreams, of course."
And when the 広大な／多数の／重要な 競争 had been 発表するd for a 豊富な man's luxurious palace, Hilary Carstairs had laughed aloud.
"Why, I could do that, of course," he had cried; "it's my palace—my '城 in the 空気／公表する' come true."
And John Bearden had watched him day by day 発展させるing his 製図／抽選s, his 計画（する）s, his description; while he also, entering with ardour and with tempestuous ambition into the same 競争, clutching 猛烈に at this same 広大な／多数の／重要な chance, had been able to do no more than an able, 遂行するd design.
The day that Hilary Carstairs had died in the hospital, John Bearden had gone 支援する to their rooms and looked at the two 始める，決めるs of designs lying on the work-（米）棚上げする／（英）提議する 味方する by the 味方する.
"It's yours to do what you like with," the dying boy had said, and Bearden had rubbed out the 署名 and put his own in place of it...coldly, carefully.
He effaced Hilary Carstairs for ever and 始める，決める John Bearden in his place. He knew that these 製図／抽選s showed genius and must 得る the 必然的な reward of genius, and that his own showed no more than painstaking talent, which so often goes unrewarded, and he sent in Hilary Carstairs' 製図／抽選s under his own 指名する, and his own inferior 製図／抽選s under that of Hilary Carstairs.
No one guessed—why should anyone? And he had done no wrong. Of that he again and again solemnly 保証するd himself—he had done no wrong. What would youthful fame and money and Aurelia have been to that poor dead boy? He 手配中の，お尋ね者 all three—he was alive and 熱心な for all that life could give; while that poor broken clay—what did that want with any of it? And if there was a spirit separate from the clay, what did that want, either? "（判決などを）下す unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's," he had 引用するd to himself. "I am of the world, and want what the world 申し込む／申し出s."
And he had taken Hilary Carstairs' fame and money, and Aurelia, who had come to him through that 製図／抽選 of the 城 where he said he had walked in dreams. "I wonder if they ever met," he mused, looking at the faded photograph in 前線 of him.
"And he is like Johnny—dreadfully like Johnny."
John Bearden put his worn 直面する in his lean 手渡すs. Just now it had been as if Hilary Carstairs had stood between them—a poor 限定された shade dividing them. He had robbed him, this dead boy, of everything; but no one had ever known. They had both been so poor and obscure that there was very little 証拠 of the genius of Hilary Carstairs, and what little there had been had been most carefully and thoughtfully destroyed. All but these sketches, and from their 破壊, through some superstitious horror, he had 差し控えるd, but now they should go. And the photograph with them—that photograph with the horrible grotesque likeness to his son.
How would he feel when Johnny was nineteen, looking at him with the eager 注目する，もくろむs of Hilary Carstairs? Yes, the photograph must go. He wished he had destroyed it long since, for he had begun to forget the likeness which he had seen growing day by day in the child's 直面する. Now he had been reminded of it, so 厳しく and so ひどく.
He 設立する himself talking out loud 演説（する）／住所ing the photograph and striking his 手渡す on the desk.
"My work," he cried, "I've built it all up by my own 成果／努力s; all has been my own work, and good work, work that has been 高度に 賞賛するd, 井戸／弁護士席 paid for; it's been my own life, and my own wife. I've made Aurelia happy—not you; you never even saw her."
Then he paused, 脅すd at having been 刺激するd into this 熱烈な speech, and put his nervous fingers to his shuddering lips.
"I could have 後継するd without that chance," he muttered to himself, "and she'll never know—never, never. And yet hadn't she always known that there was just something wrong? Their life in this work, in the child. I'm losing myself in fancies. I せねばならない have lived this 負かす／撃墜する years ago."
He effaced the 指名する from all the 製図／抽選s, he had torn the photograph into small pieces. He put all 支援する into the 大臣の地位 and locked it in the bureau. There was no 解雇する／砲火／射撃 in the room, he must find another means of 破壊.
He couldn't go on building for her the house that she wished to call "Little Pomeroy." He couldn't take those designs home to her. There was a 限界. He must find some excuse—he would forget; she would be content with a 代用品，人—she was 井戸／弁護士席 used to that, was Aurelia; for all her life she had had to be content with a 代用品，人—all their life together.
He went home and 設立する her in an amiable and tender mood. She was sorry for something—she did not know what—something that had happened at his office that afternoon. She 受託するd his excuses, 冷淡な and 乾燥した，日照りの excuses, about the 製図／抽選s. His mood did not seem in any way to annoy or 乱す her. She said that they would call the house "Bellflowers," and he must finish it as he wished...
"That's the end," thought John Bearden. "I'm 解放する／自由な, I shall never hear any more of it. I've robbed him of everything now, there's nothing left to take."
In this he was mistaken.
After dinner, Aurelia, who had been musing over an old 調書をとる／予約する, said:
"Where is that poor young man buried, John? Hilary Carstairs, I mean. He seems to have been so lonely, I should like to send some flowers to his 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な."
Bitter jealousy shook John Bearden's soul. After all these years, to be haunted like this. There was still something of which he could 略奪する Hilary Carstairs. He knew where that neglected 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な was. He had stood beside it when the 棺 was lowered into the yellow clay. He had put a 石／投石する over it, out of the stolen prize-money, and never anything else.
And now Aurelia 手配中の，お尋ね者 to go there and put flowers on it. She knew, of course, she knew! But he would take good care that she should never know that he knew...
"His people （機の）カム and took him away," he answered 静かに. "I don't know where—somewhere in Scotland, I suppose."
"I'm sorry," mused Aurelia 静かに, turning over the pages of her 調書をとる／予約する.
"Sorry for whom?"
John Bearden could not forbear this dangerous 発言／述べる.
"I don't know," smiled Aurelia, "but I should have liked to take the flowers, that's all."
"Sorry for whom?" he repeated with deeper nervousness.
"Oh," she replied ばく然と, "for all of us, I suppose."