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肩書を与える:      The Nose
Author:     Nikolai Gogol (1809-1852)
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THE NOSE

by

Nikolai Gogol

I

ON 25 March an 異常に strange event occurred in St. Petersburg. For that morning Barber Ivan Yakovlevitch, a dweller on the Vozkresensky Prospekt (his 指名する is lost now--it no longer 人物／姿／数字s on a signboard 耐えるing a portrait of a gentleman with a soaped cheek, and the words: "Also, 血 Let Here")--for that morning Barber Ivan Yakovlevitch awoke 早期に, and caught the smell of newly baked bread. Raising himself a little, he perceived his wife (a most respectable dame, and one 特に fond of coffee) to be just in the 行為／法令／行動する of 製図／抽選 newly baked rolls from the oven.

"Prascovia Osipovna," he said, "I would rather not have any coffee for breakfast, but, instead, a hot roll and an onion,"--the truth 存在 that he 手配中の，お尋ね者 both but knew it to be useless to ask for two things at once, as Prascovia Osipovna did not fancy such tricks.

"Oh, the fool shall have his bread," the dame 反映するd. "So much the better for me then, as I shall be able to drink a second lot of coffee."

And duly she threw on to the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する a roll.

Ivan Yakovlevitch donned a jacket over his shirt for politeness' sake, and, seating himself at the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する, 注ぐd out salt, got a couple of onions ready, took a knife into his 手渡す, assumed an 空気／公表する of importance, and 削減（する） the roll asunder. Then he ちらりと見ることd into the roll's middle. To his 激しい surprise he saw something 微光ing there. He 調査（する）d it 慎重に with the knife--then poked at it with a finger.

"やめる solid it is!" he muttered. "What in the world is it likely to be?"

He thrust in, this time, all his fingers, and pulled 前へ／外へ--a nose! His 手渡すs dropped to his 味方するs for a moment. Then he rubbed his 注目する，もくろむs hard. Then again he 調査（する）d the thing. A nose! Sheerly a nose! Yes, and one familiar to him, somehow! Oh, horror spread upon his feature! Yet that horror was a trifle compared with his spouse's overmastering wrath.

"You brute!" she shouted frantically. "Where have you 削減（する） off that nose? You villain, you! You drunkard! Why, I'll go and 報告（する）／憶測 you to the police myself. The brigand, you! Three 顧客s have told me already about your pulling at their noses as you shaved them till they could hardly stand it."

But Ivan Yakovlevitch was neither alive nor dead. This was the more the 事例／患者 because, sure enough, he had recognised the nose. It was the nose of Collegiate Assessor Kovalev--no いっそう少なく: it was the nose of a gentleman whom he was accustomed to shave twice 週刊誌, on each Wednesday and each Sunday!

"Stop, Prascovia Osipovna!" at length he said. "I'll 包む the thing in a clout, and lay it aside awhile, and take it away altogether later."

"But I won't hear of such a thing 存在 done! As if I'm going to have a 削減（する）-off nose kicking about my room! Oh, you old stick! Maybe you can just strop a かみそり still; but soon you'll be no good at all for the 残り／休憩（する） of your work. You loafer, you wastrel, you bungler, you blockhead! Aye, I'll tell the police of you. Take it away, then. Take it away. Take it anywhere you like. Oh, that I'd never caught the smell of it!"

Ivan Yakovlevitch was dumbfounded. He thought and thought, but did not know what to think.

"The devil knows how it's happened," he said, scratching one ear. "You see, I don't know for 確かな whether I （機の）カム home drunk last night or not. But certainly things look as though something out of the way happened then, for bread comes of baking, and a nose of something else altogether. Oh, I just can't make it out."

So he sat silent. At the thought that the police might find the nose at his place, and 逮捕（する） him, he felt frantic. Yes, already he could see the red collar with the smart silver braiding--the sword! He shuddered from 長，率いる to foot.

But at last he got out, and donned waistcoat and shoes, wrapped the nose in a clout, and 出発／死d まっただ中に Prascovia Osipovna's forcible objurgations.

His one idea was to rid himself of the nose, and return 静かに home--to do so either by throwing the nose into the gutter in 前線 of the gates or by just letting it 減少（する） anywhere. Yet, unfortunately, he kept 会合 friends, and they kept 説 to him: "Where are you off to?" or "Whom have you arranged to shave at this 早期に hour?" until seizure of a fitting moment became impossible. Once, true, he did 後継する in dropping the thing, but no sooner had he done so than a constable pointed at him with his truncheon, and shouted: "選ぶ it up again! You've lost something," and he perforce had to take the nose into his 所有／入手 once more, and stuff it into a pocket. 一方／合間 his desperation grew in 割合 as more and more booths and shops opened for 商売／仕事, and more and more people appeared in the street.

At last he decided that he would go to the Isaakievsky 橋（渡しをする）, and throw the thing, if he could, into the Neva. But here let me 自白する my fault in not having said more about Ivan Yakovlevitch himself, a man estimable in more 尊敬（する）・点s than one.

Like every decent ロシアの tradesman, Ivan Yakovlevitch was a terrible tippler. Daily he shaved the chins of others, but always his own was unshorn, and his jacket (he never wore a 最高の，を越す-coat) piebald--黒人／ボイコット, thickly studded with greyish, brownish-yellowish stains--and shiny of collar, and adorned with three pendent tufts of thread instead of buttons. But, with that, Ivan Yakovlevitch was a 広大な／多数の／重要な cynic. Whenever Collegiate Assessor Kovalev was 存在 shaved, and said to him, によれば custom: "Ivan Yakovlevitch, your 手渡すs do smell!" he would retort: "But why should they smell?" and, when the Collegiate Assessor had replied: "Really I do not know, brother, but at all events they do," take a pinch of 消す, and soap the Collegiate Assessor upon cheek, and under nose, and behind ears, and around chin at his good will and 楽しみ.

So the worthy 国民 stood on the Isaakievsky 橋（渡しをする）, and looked about him. Then, leaning over the parapet, he feigned to be trying to see if any fish were passing underneath. Then gently he cast 前へ／外へ the nose.

At once ten puds-負わせる seemed to have been 解除するd from his shoulders. 現実に he smiled! But, instead of 出発／死ing, next, to shave the chins of chinovniki, he bethought him of making for a 確かな 設立 inscribed "Meals and Tea," that he might get there a glassful of punch.

Suddenly he sighted a constable standing at the end of the 橋（渡しをする）, a constable of smart 外見, with long whiskers, a three-cornered hat, and a sword 完全にする. Oh, Ivan Yakovlevitch could have fainted! Then the constable, beckoning with a finger, cried:

"Nay, my good man. Come here."

Ivan Yaklovlevitch, knowing the proprieties, pulled off his cap at やめる a distance away, 前進するd quickly, and said:

"I wish your Excellency the best of health."

"No, no! 非，不，無 of that `your Excellency,' brother. Come and tell me what you have been doing on the 橋（渡しをする）."

"Before God, sir, I was crossing it on my way to some 顧客s when I peeped to see if there were any fish jumping."

"You 嘘（をつく）, brother! You 嘘（をつく）! You won't get out of it like that. Be so good as to answer me truthfully."

"Oh, twice a week in 未来 I'll shave you for nothing. Aye, or even three times a week."

"No, no, friend. That is rubbish. Already I've got three barbers for the 目的, and all of them account it an honour. Now, tell me, I ask again, what you have just been doing?"

This made Ivan Yakovlevitch blanch, and----

その上の events here become enshrouded in もや. What happened after that is unknown to all men.

II

COLLEGIATE ASSESSOR KOVALEV also awoke 早期に that morning. And when he had done so he made the "B-r-rh!" with his lips which he always did when he had been asleep--he himself could not have said why. Then he stretched himself, had 手渡すd to him a small mirror from the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する 近づく by, and 始める，決める himself to 検査／視察する a pimple which had broken out on his nose the night before. But, to his unbounded astonishment, there was only a flat patch on his 直面する where the nose should have been! 大いに alarmed, he called for water, washed, and rubbed his 注目する，もくろむs hard with the towel. Yes, the nose indeed was gone! He prodded the 位置／汚点／見つけ出す with a 手渡す-pinched himself to make sure that he was not still asleep. But no; he was not still sleeping. Then he leapt from the bed, and shook himself. No nose had he on him still! Finally, he bade his 着せる／賦与するs be 手渡すd him, and 始める，決める 前へ／外へ for the office of the Police Commissioner at his 最大の 速度(を上げる）.

Here let me 追加する something which may enable the reader to perceive just what the Collegiate Assessor was like. Of course, it goes without 説 that Collegiate Assessors who acquire the 肩書を与える with the help of academic diplomas cannot be compared with Collegiate Assessors who become Collegiate Assessors through service in the Caucasus, for the two 種類 are wholly 際立った, they are----Stay, though. Russia is so strange a country that, let one but say anything about any one Collegiate Assessor, and the 残り／休憩（する）, from Riga to Kamchatka, at once 適用する the 発言／述べる to themselves--for all 肩書を与えるs and all 階級s it means the same thing. Now, Kovalev was a "Caucasian" Collegiate Assessor, and had, as yet, borne the 肩書を与える for two years only. Hence, unable ever to forget it, he sought the more to give himself dignity and 負わせる by calling himself, in 新規加入 to "Collegiate Assessor," "Major."

"Look here, good woman," once he said to a shirts' vendor whom he met in the street, "come and see me at my home. I have my flat in Sadovaia Street. Ask 単に, `Is this where Major Kovalev lives?' Anyone will show you." Or, on 会合 流行の／上流の ladies, he would say: "My dear madam, ask for Major Kovalev's flat." So we too will call the Collegiate Assessor "Major."

Major Kovalev had a habit of daily promenading the Nevsky Prospekt in an 極端に clean and 井戸／弁護士席-starched shirt and collar, and in whiskers of the sort still observable on 地方の surveyors, architects, regimental doctors, other 公式の／役人s, and all men who have 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, red cheeks, and play a good 手渡す at "Boston." Such whiskers run across the exact centre of the cheek--then 長，率いる straight for the nose. Again, Major Kovalev always had on him a 量 of 調印（する）s, both of 調印（する）s engraved with coats of 武器, and of 調印（する）s inscribed "Wednesday," "Thursday," "Monday," and the 残り／休憩（する）. And, finally, Major Kovalev had come to live in St. Petersburg because of necessity. That is to say, he had come to live in St. Petersburg because he wished to 得る a 地位，任命する befitting his new 肩書を与える--whether a 副／悪徳行為-知事／長官の職 or, failing that, an Administratorship in a 主要な department. Nor was Major Kovalev altogether 始める，決める against marriage. 単に he 要求するd that his bride should 所有する not いっそう少なく than two hundred thousand ルーブルs in 資本／首都. The reader, therefore, can now 裁判官 how the Major was 据えるd when he perceived that instead of a not unpresentable nose there was 人物／姿／数字ing on his 直面する an 極端に uncouth, and perfectly smooth and uniform patch.

Ill luck 定める／命ずるd, that morning, that not a cab was 明白な throughout the street's whole length; so, 密談する／（身体を）寄せ集めるing himself up in his cloak, and covering his 直面する with a handkerchief (to make things look as though his nose were bleeding), he had to start upon his way on foot only.

"Perhaps this is only imagination?" he 反映するd. Presently he turned aside に向かって a restaurant (for he wished yet again to get a sight of himself in a mirror). "The nose can't have 除去するd itself of sheer idiocy."

Luckily no 顧客s were 現在の in the restaurant--単に some waiters were 広範囲にわたる out the rooms, and 配列し直すing the 議長，司会を務めるs, and others, sleepy-注目する，もくろむd fellows, were setting 前へ／外へ trayfuls of hot pastries. On 議長，司会を務めるs and （米）棚上げする／（英）提議するs last night's newspapers, coffee-stained, were strewn.

"Thank God that no one is here!" the Major 反映するd. "Now I can look at myself again."

He approached a mirror in some trepidation, and peeped therein. Then he spat.

"The devil only knows what this vileness means!" he muttered. "If even there had been something to take the nose's place! But, as it is, there's nothing there at all."

He bit his lips with vexation, and hurried out of the restaurant. No; as he went along he must look at no one, and smile at no one. Then he 停止（させる）d as though riveted to earth. For in 前線 of the doors of a mansion he saw occur a 現象 of which, 簡単に, no explanation was possible. Before that mansion there stopped a carriage. And then a door of the carriage opened, and there leapt thence, 密談する／（身体を）寄せ集めるing himself up, a 制服を着た gentleman, and that 制服を着た gentleman ran headlong up the mansion's 入り口-steps, and disappeared within. And oh, Kovalev's horror and astonishment to perceive that the gentleman was 非，不，無 other than--his own nose! The unlooked-for spectacle made everything swim before his 注目する，もくろむs. Scarcely, for a moment, could he even stand. Then, deciding that at all costs he must を待つ the gentleman's return to the carriage, he remained where he was, shaking as though with fever. Sure enough, the Nose did return, two minutes later. It was 覆う？ in a gold-braided, high-collared uniform, buckskin breeches, and cockaded hat. And slung beside it there was a sword, and from the cockade on the hat it could be inferred that the Nose was 趣旨ing to pass for a 明言する／公表する 議員. It seemed now to be going to 支払う／賃金 another visit somewhere. At all events it ちらりと見ることd about it, and then, shouting to the coachman, "運動 up here," re-entered the 乗り物, and 始める，決める 前へ／外へ.

Poor Kovalev felt almost demented. The astounding event left him utterly at a loss. For how could the nose which had been on his 直面する but yesterday, and able then neither to 運動 nor to walk 独立して, now be going about in uniform?--He started in 追跡 of the carriage, which, luckily, did not go far, and soon 停止（させる）d before the Gostiny Dvor.[*]

[* 以前は the "Whiteley's" of St. Petersburg.]

Kovalev too 急いでd to the building, 押し進めるd through the line of old beggar-women with 包帯d 直面するs and apertures for 注目する，もくろむs whom he had so often 軽蔑（する）d, and entered. Only a few 顧客s were 現在の, but Kovalev felt so upset that for a while he could decide upon no course of 活動／戦闘 save to ざっと目を通す every corner in the gentleman's 追跡. At last he sighted him again, standing before a 反対する, and, with 直面する hidden altogether behind the uniform's stand-up collar, 検査／視察するing with 吸収するd attention some wares.

"How, even so, am I to approach it?" Kovalev 反映するd. "Everything about it, uniform, hat, and all, seems to show that it is a 明言する／公表する 議員 now. Only the devil knows what is to be done!"

He started to cough in the Nose's 周辺, but the Nose did not change its position for a 選び出す／独身 moment.

"My good sir," at length Kovalev said, 説得力のある himself to boldness, "my good sir, I----"

"What do you want?" And the Nose did then turn 一連の会議、交渉／完成する.

"My good sir, I am in a difficulty. Yet somehow, I think, I think, that--井戸／弁護士席, I think that you せねばならない know your proper place better. All at once, you see, I find you--_where_? Do you not feel as I do about it?"

"容赦 me, but I cannot apprehend your meaning. Pray explain その上の."

"Yes, but how, I should like to know?" Kovalev thought to himself. Then, again taking courage, he went: on:

"I am, you see--井戸／弁護士席, in point of fact, you see, I am a Major. Hence you will realise how unbecoming it is for me to have to walk about without a nose. Of course, a peddler of oranges on the Vozkresensky 橋（渡しをする） could sit there noseless 井戸／弁護士席 enough, but I myself am hoping soon to receive a----Hm, yes. Also, I have amongst my 知識s several ladies of good houses (Madame Chektareva, wife of the 明言する／公表する 議員, for example), and you may 裁判官 for yourself what that alone signifies. Good sir"--Major Kovalev gave his shoulders a shrug--"I do not know whether you yourself (容赦 me) consider 行為／行う of this sort to be altogether in 一致 with the 支配するs of 義務 and honour, but at least you can understand that----"

"I understand nothing at all," the Nose broke in. "Explain yourself more satisfactorily."

"Good sir," Kovalev went on with a 高くする，増すd sense of dignity, "the one who is at a loss to understand the other is I. But at least the 即座の point should be plain, unless you are 決定するd to have it さもなければ. 単に--you are my own nose."

The Nose regarded the Major, and 契約d its brows a little.

"My dear sir, you speak in error," was its reply. "I am just myself--myself 分かれて. And in any 事例／患者 there cannot ever have 存在するd a の近くに relation between us, for, 裁判官ing from the buttons of your undress uniform, your service is 存在 成し遂げるd in another department than my own."

And the Nose definitely turned away.

Kovalev stood dumbfounded. What to do, even what to think, he had not a notion.

Presently the agreeable swish of ladies' dresses began to be heard. Yes, an 年輩の, lace-bedecked dame was approaching, and, with her, a slender maiden in a white frock which 輪郭（を描く）d delightfully a 削減する 人物／姿／数字, and, above it, a straw hat of a lightness as of pastry. Behind them there （機の）カム, stopping every now and then to open a snuffbox, a tall, whiskered beau in やめる a twelve-倍の collar.

Kovalev moved a little nearer, pulled up the collar of his shirt, straightened the 調印（する）s on his gold watch-chain, smiled, and directed special attention に向かって the slender lady as, swaying like a floweret in spring, she kept raising to her brows a little white 手渡す with fingers almost of transparency. And Kovalev's smiles became broader still when peeping from under the hat he saw there to be an alabaster, 一連の会議、交渉／完成するd little chin, and part of a cheek 紅潮／摘発するd like an 早期に rose. But all at once he recoiled as though scorched, for all at once he had remembered that he had not a nose on him, but nothing at all. So, with 涙／ほころびs 軍隊ing themselves 上向きs, he wheeled about to tell the 制服を着た gentleman that he, the 制服を着た gentleman, was no 明言する／公表する 議員, but an impostor and a knave and a villain and the Major's own nose. But the Nose, behold, was gone! That very moment had it driven away to, 推定では, 支払う／賃金 another visit.

This drove Kovalev to the last pitch of desperation. He went 支援する to the mansion, and 駅／配置するd himself under its portico, in the hope that, by peering hither and thither, hither and thither, he might once more see the Nose appear. But, 井戸／弁護士席 though he remembered the Nose's cockaded hat and gold-braided uniform, he had failed at the time to 公式文書，認める also its cloak, the colour of its horses, the make of its carriage, the look of the lackey seated behind, and the pattern of the lackey's livery. Besides, so many carriages were moving 速く up and 負かす／撃墜する the street that it would have been impossible to 公式文書，認める them all, and 平等に so to have stopped any one of them. 一方／合間, as the day was 罰金 and sunny, the Prospekt was thronged with 歩行者s also--a whole kaleidoscopic stream of ladies was flowing along the pavements, from Police （警察，軍隊などの）本部 to the Anitchkin 橋（渡しをする）. There one could descry an Aulic 議員 whom Kovalev knew 井戸／弁護士席. A gentleman he was whom Kovalev always 演説（する）／住所d as "中尉／大尉／警部補-陸軍大佐," and 特に in the presence of others. And there there went Yaryzhkin, 長，指導者 Clerk to the 上院, a crony who always （判決などを）下すd 没収される at "Boston" on playing an eight. And, lastly, a like "Major" with Kovalev, a like "Major" with an Assessorship acquired through Caucasian service, started to beckon to Kovalev with a finger!

"The devil take him!" was Kovalev's muttered comment. "Hi, cabman! 運動 to the Police Commissioner's direct."

But just when he was entering the drozhki he 追加するd:

"No. Go by Ivanovskaia Street."

"Is the Commissioner in?" he asked on crossing the threshold.

"He is not," was the doorkeeper's reply. "He's gone this very moment."

"There's luck for you!"

"Aye," the doorkeeper went on. "Only just a moment ago he was off. If you'd been a 明らかにする half-minute sooner you'd have 設立する him at home, maybe."

Still 持つ／拘留するing the handkerchief to his 直面する, Kovalev returned to the cab, and cried wildly:

"運動 on!"

"Where to, though?" the cabman 問い合わせd.

"Oh, straight ahead!"

"'Straight ahead'? But the street divides here. To 権利, or to left?"

The question 原因（となる）d Kovalov to pause and recollect himself. In his 状況／情勢 he せねばならない make his next step an 使用／適用 to the Board of Discipline--not because the Board was 直接／まっすぐに connected with the police, but because its dispositions would be 遂行する／発効させるd more speedily than in other departments. To 捜し出す satisfaction of the the actual department in which the Nose had 宣言するd itself to be serving would be sheerly unwise, since from the Nose's very replies it was （疑いを）晴らす that it was the sort of individual who held nothing sacred, and, in that event, might 嘘（をつく） as unconscionably as it had lied in 主張するing itself never to have 人物／姿／数字d in its proprietor's company. Kovalev, therefore, decided to 捜し出す the Board of Discipline. But just as he was on the point of 存在 driven thither there occurred to him the thought that the impostor and knave who had behaved so shamelessly during the late 遭遇（する） might even now be using the time to get out of the city, and that in that 事例／患者 all その上の 追跡 of the rogue would become vain, or at all events last for, God 保存する us! a 十分な month. So at last, left only to the 指導／手引 of Providence, the Major 解決するd to make for a newspaper office, and publish a circumstantial description of the Nose in such good time that anyone 会合 with the truant might at once be able either to 回復する it to him or to give （警察などへの）密告，告訴（状） as to its どの辺に. So he not only directed the cabman to the newspaper office, but, all the way thither, prodded him in the 支援する, and shouted: "Hurry up, you rascal! Hurry up, you rogue!" whilst the cabman 断続的に 答える／応じるd: "Aye, barin," and nodded, and plucked at the reins of a steed as shaggy as a spaniel.

The moment that the drozhki 停止（させる）d Kovalev dashed, breathless, into a small 歓迎会-office. There, seated at a （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する, a grey-長，率いるd clerk in 古代の jacket and pair of spectacles was, with pen tucked between lips, counting sums received in 巡査.

"Who here takes the 宣伝s?" Kovalev exclaimed as he entered. "A-ah! Good day to you."

"And my 尊敬（する）・点s," the grey-長，率いるd clerk replied, raising his 注目する，もくろむs for an instant, and then lowering them again to the spread out 巡査 heaps.

"I want you to publish----"

"容赦--one moment." And the clerk with one 手渡す committed to paper a 人物／姿／数字, and with a finger of the other 手渡す 転換d two accounts markers. Standing beside him with an 宣伝 in his 手渡すs, a footman in a laced coat, and 十分に smart to seem to be in service in an aristocratic mansion, now thought 井戸／弁護士席 to 陳列する，発揮する some knowingness.

"Sir," he said to the clerk, "I do 保証する you that the puppy is not 価値（がある） eight grivni even. At all events _I_ wouldn't give that much for it. Yet the countess loves it--yes, just loves it, by God! Anyone wanting it of her will have to 支払う／賃金 a hundred ルーブルs. 井戸／弁護士席, to tell the truth between you and me, people's tastes 異なる. Of course, if one's a sportsman one keeps a setter or a spaniel. And in that 事例／患者 don't you spare five hundred ルーブルs, or even give a thousand, if the dog is a good one."

The worthy clerk listened with gravity, yet 非，不，無 the いっそう少なく 遂行するd a 計算／見積り of the number of letters in the 宣伝 brought. On either 味方する there was a group of charwomen, shop assistants, doorkeepers, and the like. All had 類似の 宣伝s in their 手渡すs, with one of the 文書s to 通知する that a coachman of good character was about to be 解放する／撤去させるd, and another one to advertise a koliaska 輸入するd from Paris in 1814, and only わずかに used since, and another one a maid-servant of nineteen experienced in laundry work, but 用意が出来ている also for other 職業s, and another one a sound drozhki save that a spring was 欠如（する）ing, and another one a grey-dappled, spirited horse of the age of seventeen, and another one some turnip and radish seed just received from London, and another one a country house with every amenity, stabling for two horses, and 十分な space for the laying out of a 罰金 birch or spruce 農園, and another one some second-手渡す footwear, with, 追加するd, an 招待 to …に出席する the daily auction sale from eight o'clock to three. The room where the company thus stood gathered together was small, and its atmosphere 限定するd; but this closeness, of course, Collegiate Assessor Kovalev never perceived, for, in 新規加入 to his 直面する 存在 muffled in a handkerchief, his nose was gone, and God only knew its 現在の habitat!

"My dear sir," at last he said impatiently, "許す me to ask you something: it is a 圧力（をかける）ing 事柄."

"One moment, one moment! Two ルーブルs, forty-three kopeks. Yes, presently. Sixty ルーブルs, four kopeks."

With which the clerk threw the two 宣伝s 関心d に向かって the group of charwomen and the 残り／休憩（する）, and turned to Kovalev.

"井戸／弁護士席?" he said. "What do you want?"

"Your 容赦," replied Kovalev, "but 詐欺 and knavery has been done. I still cannot understand the 事件／事情／状勢, but wish to 発表する that anyone returning me the rascal shall receive an 適する reward."

"Your 指名する, if you would be so good?"

"No, no. What can my 指名する 事柄? I cannot tell it you. I know many 知識s such as Madame Chektareva (wife of the 明言する／公表する 議員) and Pelagea Grigorievna Podtochina (wife of the Staff-Officer), and, the Lord 保存する us, they would learn of the 事件／事情／状勢 at once. So say just `a Collegiate Assessor,' or, better, `a gentleman 最高位の as Major.'"

"Has a 世帯 serf of yours absconded, then?"

"A 世帯 serf of 地雷? As though even a 世帯 serf would （罪などを）犯す such a 罪，犯罪 as the 現在の one! No, indeed! It is my nose that has absconded from me."

"Gospodin Nossov, Gospoding Nossov? Indeed a strange 指名する, that![*] Then has this Gospodin Nossov robbed you of some money?"

[* Nose is _noss_ in ロシアの, and Gospodin 同等（の） to the English "Mr."]

"I said nose, not Nossov. You are making a mistake. There has disappeared, goodness knows whither, my nose, my own actual nose. 推定では it is trying to make a fool of me."

"But how could it so disappear? The 事柄 has something about it which I do not fully understand."

"I cannot tell you the exact how. The point is that now the nose is 運動ing about the city, and giving itself out for a 明言する／公表する 議員 --wherefore I beg you to 発表する that anyone apprehending any such nose ought at once, in the shortest possible space of time, to return it to myself. Surely you can 裁判官 what it is for me 一方／合間 to be 欠如（する）ing such a 目だつ 部分 of my でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れる? For a nose is not like a toe which one can keep inside a boot, and hide the absence of if it is not there. Besides, every Thurdsay I am 予定 to call upon Madame Chektareva (wife of the 明言する／公表する 議員): whilst Pelagea Grigorievna Podtochina (wife of the Staff-Officer, mother of a pretty daughter) also is one of my closest 知識s. So, again, 裁判官 for yourself how I am 据えるd at 現在の. In such a 条件 as this I could not かもしれない 現在の myself before the ladies 指名するd."

Upon that the clerk became thoughtful: the fact was （疑いを）晴らす from his tightly compressed lips alone.

"No," he said at length. "挿入する such an 告示 I cannot."

"But why not?"

"Because, you see, it might 負傷させる the paper's 評判. Imagine if everyone were to start 布告するing a 見えなくなる of his nose! People would begin to say that, that--井戸／弁護士席, that we printed absurdities and 誤った tales."

"But how is this 事柄 a 誤った tale? Nothing of the sort has it got about _it_."

"You think not; but only last week a 類似の 事例／患者 occurred. One day a chinovnik brought us an 宣伝 as you have done. The cost would have been only two ルーブルs, seventy-three kopeks, for all that it seemed to signify was the running away of a poodle. Yet what was it, do you think, in reality? Why, the thing turned out to be a 名誉き損, and the `poodle' in question a cashier--of what department 正確に I do not know."

"Yes, but here am I advertising not about a poodle, but about my own nose, which, surely, is, for all 意図s and 目的s, myself?"

"All the same, I cannot 挿入する the 宣伝."

"Even when 現実に I have lost my own nose!"

"The fact that your nose is gone is a 事柄 for a doctor. There are doctors, I have heard, who can fit one out with any sort of nose one likes. I take it that by nature you are a wag, and like playing jokes in public."

"That is not so. I 断言する it as God is 宗教上の. In fact, as things have gone so far, I will let you see for yourself."

"Why trouble?" Here the clerk took some 消す before 追加するing with, にもかかわらず, a 確かな movement of curiosity: "However, if it really won't trouble you at all, a sight of the 位置／汚点／見つけ出す would gratify me."

The Collegiate Assessor 除去するd the handkerchief.

"Strange indeed! Very strange indeed!" the clerk exclaimed. "And the patch is as uniform as a newly fried pancake, almost unbelievably uniform."

"So you will 論争 what I say no longer? Then surely you cannot but put the 告示 into print. I shall be 極端に 感謝する to you, and glad that the 現在の occasion has given me such a 楽しみ as the making of your 知識"--whence it will be seen that for once the Major had decided to climb 負かす／撃墜する.

"To print what you want is nothing much," the clerk replied. "Yet 率直に I cannot see how you are going to 利益 from the step. I would 示唆する, rather, that you （売買）手数料，委託（する）／委員会／権限 a 技術d writer to compose an article 述べるing this as a rare 製品 of nature, and have the article published in _The Northern Bee_" (here the clerk took more 消す), "either for the 指示／教授／教育 of our young" (the clerk wiped his nose for a finish) "or as a 事柄 of general 利益／興味."

This again depressed the Collegiate Assessor: and even though, on his 注目する，もくろむs happening to 落ちる upon a copy of the newspaper, and reach the column 割り当てるd to theatrical news, and 遭遇（する） the 指名する of a beautiful actress, so that he almost broke into a smile, and a 手渡す began to finger a pocket for a 財務省 公式文書，認める (since he held that only 立ち往生させるs were seats befitting Majors and so 前へ／外へ)--although all this was so, there again recurred to him the thought of the nose, and everything again became spoilt.

Even the clerk seemed touched with the awkwardness of Kovalev's 苦境, and wishful to lighten with a few 同情的な words the Collegiate Assessor's 不景気.

"I am sorry indeed that this has befallen," he said. "Should you care for a pinch of this? 消す can dissipate both 頭痛 and low spirits. Nay, it is good for haemorrhoids 同様に."

And he proffered his box-deftly, as he did so, 倍のing 支援する underneath it the lid 描写するing a lady in a hat.

Kovalev lost his last shred of patience at the thoughtless 行為／法令／行動する, and said heatedly:

"How you can think fit thus to jest I cannot imagine. For surely you perceive me no longer to be in 所有／入手 of a means of 匂いをかぐing? Oh, you and your 消す can go to hell! Even the sight of it is more than I can 耐える. I should say the same even if you were 申し込む／申し出ing me, not wretched birch bark, but real rappee."

大いに incensed, he 急ぐd out of the office, and made for the 区 police 視察官's 住居. Unfortunately he arrived at the very moment when the 視察官, after a yawn and a stretch, was 反映するing: "Now for two hours' sleep!" In short, the Collegiate Assessor's visit chanced to be exceedingly ill-timed. Incidentally, the 視察官, though a 広大な／多数の／重要な patron of 製造業者s and the arts, preferred still more a 財務省 公式文書，認める.

"That's the thing!" he frequently would say. "It's a thing which can't be beaten anywhere, for it wants nothing at all to eat, and it takes up very little room, and it fits easily to the pocket, and it doesn't break in pieces if it happens to be dropped."

So the 視察官 received Kovalev very drily, and intimated that just after dinner was not the best moment for beginning an 調査--nature had 任命するd that one should 残り／休憩（する） after food (which showed the Collegiate Assessor that at least the 視察官 had some knowledge of 下落するs' old saws), and that in any 事例／患者 no one would purloin the nose of a _really_ respectable man.

Yes, the 視察官 gave it Kovalev between the 注目する，もくろむs. And as it should be 追加するd that Kovalev was 極端に 極度の慎重さを要する where his 肩書を与える or his dignity was 関心d (though he readily 容赦d anything said against himself 本人自身で, and even held, with regard to 行う／開催する／段階 plays, that, whilst Staff-Officers should not be 攻撃する，非難するd, officers of lesser 階級 might be referred to), the police 視察官's 歓迎会 so took him aback that, in a dignified way, and with 手渡すs 始める，決める apart a little, he nodded, 発言／述べるd: "After your 侮辱ing 観察s there is nothing which I wish to 追加する," and betook himself away again.

He reached home scarcely 審理，公聴会 his own footsteps. Dusk had fallen, and, after the 不成功の questings, his flat looked truly dreary. As he entered the hall he perceived Ivan, his valet, to be lying on his 支援する on the stained old leathern divan, and spitting at the 天井 with not a little 技術 as regards successively hitting the same 位置／汚点／見つけ出す. The man's coolness rearoused Kovalev's 怒らせる, and, smacking him over the 長，率いる with his hat, he shouted:

"You utter pig! You do nothing but play the fool." Leaping up, Ivan 急いでd to take his master's cloak.

The tired and despondent Major then sought his sitting-room, threw himself into an 平易な-議長，司会を務める, sighed, and said to himself:

"My God, my God! why has this misfortune come upon me? Even loss of 手渡すs or feet would have been better, for a man without a nose is the devil knows what--a bird, but not a bird, a 国民, but not a 国民, a thing just to be thrown out of window. It would have been better, too, to have had my nose 削減（する） off in 活動／戦闘, or in a duel, or through my own 行為／法令／行動する: 反して here is the nose gone with nothing to show for it--uselessly--for not a groat's 利益（をあげる）!--No, though," he 追加するd after thought, "it's not likely that the nose is gone for good: it's not likely at all. And やめる probably I am dreaming all this, or am fuddled. It may be that when I （機の）カム home yesterday I drank the vodka with which I rub my chin after shaving instead of water--snatched up the stuff because that fool Ivan was not there to receive me."

So he sought to ascertain whether he might not be drunk by pinching himself till he 公正に／かなり yelled. Then, 確かな , because of the 苦痛, that he was 事実上の／代理 and living in waking life, he approached the mirror with diffidence, and once more scanned himself with a sort of inward hope that the nose might by this time be showing as 回復するd. But the result was 単に that he recoiled and muttered:

"What an absurd spectacle still!"

Ah, it all passed his understanding! If only a button, or a silver spoon, or a watch, or some such article were gone, rather than that anything had disappeared like this--for no 推論する／理由, and in his very flat! 結局, having once more reviewed the circumstances, he reached the final 結論 that he should most nearly 攻撃する，衝突する the truth in supposing Madame Podtochina (wife of the Staff-Officer, of course--the lady who 手配中の，お尋ね者 him to become her daughter's husband) to have been the prime スパイ／執行官 in the 事件／事情／状勢. True, he had always liked dangling in the daughter's wake, but also he had always fought shy of really coming 負かす／撃墜する to 商売／仕事. Even when the Staff-Officer's lady had said point blank that she 願望（する）d him to become her son-in-法律 he had put her off with his compliments, and replied that the daughter was still too young, and himself 予定 yet to 成し遂げる five years service, and 老年の only forty-two. Yes, the truth must be that out of 復讐 the Staff-Officer's wife had 解決するd to 廃虚 him, and 雇うd a 禁止（する）d of witches for the 目的, seeing that the nose could not conceivably have been 削減（する） off--no one had entered his 私的な room lately, and, after 存在 shaved by Ivan Yakovlevitch on the Wednesday, he had the nose 損なわれていない, he knew and remembered 井戸／弁護士席, throughout both the 残り／休憩（する） of the Wednesday and the day に引き続いて. Also, if the nose had been 削減（する） off, 苦痛 would have resulted, and also a 負傷させる, and the place could not have 傷をいやす／和解させるd so quickly, and become of the uniformity of a pancake.

Next, the Major made his 計画（する）s. Either he would 告訴する the Staff-Officer's lady in 合法的な form or he would 支払う／賃金 her a surprise visit, and catch her in a 罠（にかける）. Then the foregoing reflections were 削減（する） short by a 微光 showing through the chink of the door--a 調印する that Ivan had just lit a candle in the hall: and presently Ivan himself appeared, carrying the candle in 前線 of him, and throwing the room into such （疑いを）晴らす radiance that Kovalev had あわてて to snatch up the handkerchief again, and once more cover the place where the nose had been but yesterday, lest the stupid fellow should be led to stand gaping at the monstrosity on his master's features.

Ivan had just returned to his cupboard when an unfamiliar 発言する／表明する in the hall 問い合わせd:

"Is this where Collegiate Assessor Kovalev lives?"

"It is," Kovalev shouted, leaping to his feet, and flinging wide the door. "Come in, will you?"

Upon which there entered a police-officer of smart exterior, with whiskers neither light nor dark, and cheeks nicely plump. As a 事柄 of fact, he was the police-officer whom Ivan Yakovlevitch had met at the end of the Isaakievsky 橋（渡しをする）.

"I beg your 容赦, sir," he said, "but have you lost your nose?"

"I have--just so."

"Then the nose is 設立する."

"What?" For a moment or two joy 奪うd Major Kovalev of その上の speech. All that he could do was to stand 星／主役にするing, open-注目する，もくろむd, at the officer's plump lips and cheeks, and at the tremulant beams which the candlelight kept throwing over them. "Then how did it come about?"

"井戸／弁護士席, by the merest chance the nose was 設立する beside a roadway. Already it had entered a 行う／開催する／段階-coach, and was about to leave for Riga with a パスポート made out in the 指名する of a 確かな chinovnik. And, curiously enough, I myself, at first, took it to be a gentleman. Luckily, though, I had my eyeglasses on me. Soon, therefore, I perceived the `gentleman' to be no more than a nose. Such is my shortness of sight, you know, that even now, though I see you standing there before me, and see that you have a 直面する, I cannot distinguish on that 直面する the nose, the chin, or anything else. My mother-in-法律 (my wife's mother) too cannot easily distinguish 詳細（に述べる）s."

Kovalev felt almost beside himself.

"Where is the nose now?" cried he. "Where, I ask? Let me go to it at once."

"Do not trouble, sir. Knowing how 大いに you stand in need of it, I have it with me. It is a curious fact, too, that the 長，指導者 スパイ／執行官 in the 事件／事情／状勢 has been a rascal of a barber who lives on the Vozkresensky Prospekt, and now is sitting at the police 駅／配置する. For long past I had 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd him of drunkenness and 窃盗, and only three days ago he took away from a shop a button-card. 井戸／弁護士席, you will find your nose to be as before."

And the officer delved into a pocket, and drew thence the nose, wrapped in paper.

"Yes, that's the nose all 権利!" Kovalev shouted. "It's the nose 正確に! Will you join me in a cup of tea?"

"I should have accounted it indeed a 楽しみ if I had been able, but, unfortunately, I have to go straight on to the 刑務所. 準備／条項s, sir, have risen 大いに in price. And living with me I have not only my family, but my mother-in-法律 (my wife's mother). Yet the eldest of my children gives me much hope. He is a clever lad. The only thing is that I have not the means for his proper education."

When the officer was gone the Collegiate Assessor sat 急落（する），激減（する）d in vagueness, 急落（する），激減（する）d in 無（不）能 to see or to feel, so 大いに was he upset with joy. Only after a while did he with care take the thus 回復するd nose in cupped 手渡すs, and again 診察する it attentively.

"It, undoubtedly. It, 正確に," he said at length. "Yes, and it even has on it the pimple to the left which broke out on me yesterday."

Sheerly he laughed in his delight.

But nothing lasts long in this world. Even joy grows いっそう少なく lively the next moment. And a moment later, again, it 弱めるs その上の. And at last it remerges insensibly with the normal mood, even as the ripple from a pebble's 衝撃 becomes remerged with the smooth surface of the water 捕まらないで. So Kovalev relapsed into thought again. For by now he had realised that even yet the 事件／事情／状勢 was not wholly ended, seeing that, though retrieved, the nose needed to be re-stuck.

"What if it should fail so to stick!"

The 明らかにする question thus 提起する／ポーズをとるd turned the Major pale.

Feeling, somehow, very nervous, he drew the mirror closer to him, lest he should fit the nose awry. His 手渡すs were trembling as gently, very carefully he 解除するd the nose in place. But, oh, horrors, it would not _remain_ in place! He held it to his lips, warmed it with his breath, and again 解除するd it to the patch between his cheeks--only to find, as before, that it would not 保持する its position.

"Come, come, fool!" said he. "Stop where you are, I tell you."

But the nose, obstinately 木造の, fell upon the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する with a strange sound as of a cork, whilst the Major's 直面する became convulsed.

"Surely it is not too large now?" he 反映するd in terror. Yet as often as he raised it に向かって its proper position the new 試みる／企てる 証明するd as vain as the last.

Loudly he shouted for Ivan, and sent for a doctor who 占領するd a flat (a better one than the Major's) on the first 床に打ち倒す. The doctor was a 罰金-looking man with splendid, coal-黒人／ボイコット whiskers. 所有するd of a healthy, comely wife, he ate some raw apples every morning, and kept his mouth extraordinarily clean--rinsed it out, each morning, for three-４半期/4分の1s of an hour, and polished its teeth with five different sorts of 小衝突s. At once he answered Kovalev's 召喚するs, and, after asking how long ago the calamity had happened, 攻撃するd the Major's chin, and rapped the 空いている 場所／位置 with a thumb until at last the Major wrenched his 長，率いる away, and, in doing so, struck it はっきりと against the 塀で囲む behind. This, the doctor said, was nothing; and after advising him to stand a little さらに先に from the 塀で囲む, and bidding him incline his 長，率いる to the 権利, he once more rapped the 空いている patch before, after bidding him incline his 長，率いる to the left, 取引，協定ing him, with a "Hm!" such a thumb-dig as left the Major standing like a horse which is having its teeth 診察するd.

The doctor, that done, shook his 長，率いる.

"The thing is not feasible," he pronounced. "You had better remain as you are rather than go さらに先に and fare worse. Of course, I _could_ stick it on again--I could do that for you in a moment; but at the same time I would 保証する you that your 苦境 will only become worse as the result."

"Never mind," Kovalev replied. "Stick it on again, pray. How can I continue without a nose? Besides, things could not かもしれない be worse than they are now. At 現在の they are the devil himself. Where can I show this caricature of a 直面する? My circle of 知識s is a large one: this very night I am 予定 in two houses, for I know a 広大な／多数の／重要な many people like Madame Chektareva (wife of the 明言する／公表する 議員), Madame Podtochina (wife of the Staff-Officer), and others. Of course, though, I shall have nothing その上の to do with Madame Podtochina (except through the police) after her 現在の 訴訟／進行s. Yes," persuasively he went on, "I beg of you to do me the favour requested. Surely there are means of doing it 永久的に? Stick it on in any sort of a fashion--at all events so that it will 持つ／拘留する 急速な／放蕩な, even if not becomingly. And then, when risky moments occur, I might even support it gently with my 手渡す, and likewise dance no more--anything to 避ける fresh 傷害 through an unguarded movement. For the 残り／休憩（する）, you may feel 保証するd that I shall show you my 感謝 for this visit so far as ever my means will 許す."

"Believe me," the doctor replied, neither too loudly nor too softly, but just with incisiveness and 磁石の "when I say that I never …に出席する 患者s for money. To do that would be contrary alike to my 支配するs and to my art. When I 受託する a 料金 for a visit I 受託する it only lest I 感情を害する／違反する through a 拒絶. Again I say--this time on my honour, as you will not believe my plain word--that, though I could easily re-affix your nose, the 訴訟／進行 would make things worse, far worse, for you. It would be better for you to 信用 単に to the 活動／戦闘 of nature. Wash often in 冷淡な water, and I 保証する you that you will be as healthy without a nose as with one. This nose here I should advise you to put into a jar of spirit: or, better still, to 法外な in two tablespoonfuls of stale vodka and strong vinegar. Then you will be able to get a good sum for it. Indeed, I myself will take the thing if you consider it of no value."

"No, no!" shouted the distracted Major. "Not on any account will I sell it. I would rather it were lost again."

"Oh, I beg your 容赦." And the doctor 屈服するd. "My only idea had been to serve you. What is it you want? 井戸／弁護士席, you have seen me do what I could."

And majestically he withdrew. Kovalev, 一方／合間, had never once looked at his 直面する. In his distraction he had noticed nothing beyond a pair of 雪の降る，雪の多い cuffs 事業／計画（する）ing from 黒人／ボイコット sleeves.

He decided, next, that, before 宿泊するing a 嘆願 next day, he would 令状 and request the Staff-Officer's lady to 回復する him his nose without publicity. His letter ran as follows:

DEAR MADAME ALEXANDRA GRIGORIEVNA, I am at a loss to understand your strange 行為／行う. At least, however, you may 残り／休憩（する） 保証するd that you will 利益 nothing by it, and that it will in no way その上の 軍隊 me to marry your daughter. Believe me, I am now aware of all the circumstances connected with my nose, and know that you alone have been the prime スパイ／執行官 in them. The nose's sudden 見えなくなる, its その後の gaddings about, its masqueradings as, firstly, a chinovnik and, secondly, itself--all these have come of witchcraft practised either by you or by adepts in 追跡s of a refinement equal to your own. This 存在 so, I consider it my 義務 herewith to 警告する you that if the nose should not this very day reassume its 訂正する position, I shall be 軍隊d to have 訴える手段／行楽地 to the 法律's 保護 and defence. With all 尊敬（する）・点, I have the honour to remain your very humble servant, PLATON KOVALEV.

"MY DEAR SIR," wrote the lady in return, "your letter has 大いに surprised me, and I will say 率直に that I had not 推定する／予想するd it, and least of all its 不正な reproaches. I 保証する you that I have never at any time 許すd the chinovnik whom you について言及する to enter my house--either masquerading or as himself. True, I have received calls from Philip Ivanovitch Potanchikov, who, as you know, is 捜し出すing my daughter's 手渡す, and, besides, is a man 安定した and upright, 同様に as learned; but never, even so, have I given him 推論する／理由 to hope. You speak, too, of a nose. If that means that I seem to you to have 願望（する）d to leave you with a nose and nothing else, that is to say, to return you a direct 拒絶 of my daughter's 手渡す, I am astonished at your words, for, as you cannot but be aware, my inclination is やめる さもなければ. So now, if still you wish for a formal betrothal to my daughter, I will readily, I do 保証する you, 満足させる your 願望（する）, which all along has been, in the most lively manner, my own also. In hopes of that, I remain yours 心から, ALEXANDRA PODTOCHINA.

"No, no!" Kovalev exclaimed, after reading the missive. "She, at least, is not 有罪の. Oh, certainly not! No one who had committed such a 罪，犯罪 could 令状 such a letter." The Collegiate Assessor was the more 専門家 in such 事柄s because more than once he had been sent to the Caucasus to 学校／設ける 起訴s. "Then by what sequence of chances has the 事件／事情／状勢 happened? Only the devil could say!"

His 手渡すs fell in bewilderment.

It had not been long before news of the strange occurrence had spread through the 資本／首都. And, of course, it received 新規加入s with the 進歩 of time. Everyone's mind was, at that period, bent upon the marvellous. Recently 実験s with the 活動／戦闘 of magnetism had 占領するd public attention, and the history of the dancing 議長，司会を務めるs of Koniushennaia Street also was fresh. So no one could wonder when it began to be said that the nose of Collegiate Assessor Kovalev could be seen promenading the Nevski Prospekt at three o'clock, or when a （人が）群がる of curious sightseers gathered there. Next, someone 宣言するd that the nose, rather, could be beheld at Junker's 蓄える／店, and the throng which 殺到するd thither became so 集まりd as to necessitate a 召喚するs to the police. 一方／合間 a 相場師 of 高度に respectable 面 and whiskers who sold stale cakes at the 入り口 to a theatre knocked together some stout 木造の （法廷の）裁判s, and 招待するd the curious to stand upon them for eighty kopeks each; whilst a retired 陸軍大佐 who （機の）カム out 早期に to see the show, and 侵入するd the （人が）群がる only with 広大な／多数の／重要な difficulty, was disgusted when in the window of the 蓄える／店 he beheld, not a nose, but 単に an ordinary woollen waistcoat 側面に位置するd by the selfsame lithograph of a girl pulling up a 在庫／株ing, whilst a dandy with cutaway waistcoat and receding chin peeped at her from behind a tree, which had hung there for ten years past.

"Dear me!" irritably he exclaimed. "How come people so to excite themselves about stupid, improbable 報告（する）／憶測s?"

Next, word had it that the nose was walking, not on the Nevski Prospekt, but in the Taurida Park, and, in fact, had been in the habit of doing so for a long while past, so that even in the days when Khozrev Mirza had lived 近づく there he had been 大いに astonished at the freak of nature. This led students to 修理 thither from the College of 薬／医学, and a 確かな 著名な, 尊敬（する）・点d lady to 令状 and ask the Warden of the Park to show her children the 現象, and, if possible, 追加する to the demonstration a lesson of edifying and instructive tenor.

自然に, these events 大いに pleased also gentlemen who たびたび（訪れる）d 大勝するs, since those gentlemen wished to entertain the ladies, and their 資源s had become exhausted. Only a few solid, worthy persons deprecated it all. One such person even said, in his disgust, that comprehend how foolish 発明s of the sort could 循環させる in such an enlightened age he could not--that, in fact, he was surprised that the 政府 had not turned its attention to the 事柄. From which utterance it will be seen that the person in question was one of those who would have dragged the 政府 into anything on earth, 含むing even their daily quarrels with their wives.

Next----

But again events here become enshrouded in もや. What happened after that is unknown to all men.

III

FARCE really does occur in this world, and, いつかs, farce altogether without an element of probability. Thus, the nose which lately had gone about as a 明言する／公表する 議員, and stirred all the city, suddenly reoccupied its proper place (between the two cheeks of Major Kovalev) as though nothing at all had happened. The date was 7 April, and when, that morning, the major awoke as usual, and, as usual, threw a despairing ちらりと見ること at the mirror, he this time, beheld before him, what?--why, the nose again! 即時に he took 持つ／拘留する of it. Yes, the nose, the nose 正確に! "Aha!" he shouted, and, in his joy, might have 遂行する／発効させるd a trepak about the room in 明らかにする feet had not Ivan's 入ること／参加（者） suddenly checked him. Then he had himself furnished with 構成要素s for washing, washed, and ちらりと見ることd at the mirror again. Oh, the nose was there still! So next he rubbed it vigorously with the towel. Ah, still it was there, the same as ever!

"Look, Ivan," he said. "Surely there is a pimple on my nose?" But 一方／合間 he was thinking: "What if he should reply: `You are wrong, sir. Not only is there not a pimple to be seen, but not even a nose'?"

However, all that Ivan said was:

"Not a pimple, sir, that isn't. The nose is （疑いを）晴らす all over."

"Good!" the Major 反映するd, and snapped his fingers. At the same moment Barber Ivan Yakovlevitch peeped 一連の会議、交渉／完成する the door. He did so as timidly as a cat which has just been whipped for stealing cream.

"Tell me first whether your 手渡すs are clean?" the Major cried.

"They are, sir."

"You 嘘（をつく）, I'll be bound."

"By God, sir, I do not!"

"Then go carefully."

As soon as Kovalev had seated himself in position Ivan Yakovlevitch vested him in a sheet, and plied 小衝突 upon chin and a 部分 of a cheek until they looked like the blanc mange served on tradesmen's namedays.

"Ah, you!" Here Ivan Yakovlevitch ちらりと見ることd at the nose. Then he bent his 長，率いる askew, and 熟視する／熟考するd the nose from a position on the 側面に位置する. "It looks 権利 enough," finally he commented, but 注目する，もくろむd the member for やめる a little while longer before carefully, so gently as almost to pass the imagination, he 解除するd two fingers に向かって it, ーするために しっかり掴む its tip--such always 存在 his 手続き.

"Come, come! Do mind!" （機の）カム in a shout from Kovalev. Ivan Yakovlevitch let 落ちる his 手渡すs, and stood disconcerted, 狼狽d as he had never been before. But at last he started scratching the かみそり lightly under the chin, and, にもかかわらず the unhandiness and difficulty of shaving in that ４半期/4分の1 without also しっかり掴むing the 組織／臓器 of smell, contrived, with the 援助（する） of a thumb 工場／植物d 堅固に upon the cheek and the lower gum, to 打ち勝つ all 障害s, and bring the shave to a finish.

Everything thus ready, Kovalev dressed, called a cab, and 始める，決める out for the restaurant. He had not crossed the threshold before he shouted: "Waiter! A cup of chocolate!" Then he sought a mirror, and looked at himself. The nose was still in place! He turned 一連の会議、交渉／完成する in cheerful mood, and, with eves 契約d わずかに, bestowed a bold, satirical scrutiny upon two 軍の men, one of the noses on whom was no larger than a waistcoat button. Next, he sought the chancery of the department where he was agitating to 得る a 副／悪徳行為-知事／長官の職 (or, failing that, an Administratorship), and, whilst passing through the 歓迎会 vestibule, again 調査するd himself in a mirror. As much in place as ever the nose was!

Next, he went to call upon a brother Collegiate Assessor, a brother "Major." This 同僚 of his was a 広大な／多数の／重要な satirist, but Kovalev always met his quarrelsome 発言／述べるs 単に with: "Ah, you! I know you, and know what a wag you are."

Whilst 訴訟／進行 thither he 反映するd:

"At least, if the Major doesn't burst into laughter on seeing me, I shall know for 確かな that all is in order again."

And this turned out to be so, for the 同僚 said nothing at all on the 支配する.

"Splendid, damn it all!" was Kovalev's inward comment.

In the street, on leaving the 同僚's, he met Madame Podtochina, and also Madame Podtochina's daughter. 屈服するing to them, he was received with nothing but joyous exclamations. 明確に all had been fancy, no 害（を与える） had been done. So not only did he talk やめる a while to the ladies, but he took special care, as he did so, to produce his snuffbox, and deliberately plug his nose at both 入り口s. 一方／合間 inwardly he said:

"There now, good ladies! There now, you couple of 女／おっせかい屋s! I'm not going to marry the daughter, though. All this is just--_par amour_, 許す me."

And from that time onwards Major Kovalev gadded about the same as before. He walked on the Nevski Prospekt, and he visited theatres, and he showed himself everywhere. And always the nose …を伴ってd him the same as before, and evinced no 調印するs of again 目的ing a 出発. 広大な／多数の／重要な was his good humour, replete was he with smiles, 意図 was he upon 追跡 of fair ladies. Once, it was 公式文書，認めるd, he even 停止（させる）d before a 反対する of the Gostini Dvor, and there 購入（する）d the riband of an order. Why 正確に he did so is not known, for of no order was he a knight.

To think of such an 事件／事情／状勢 happening in this our 広大な empire's northern 資本／首都! Yet general opinion decided that the 事件／事情／状勢 had about it much of the improbable. Leaving out of the question the nose's strange, unnatural 除去, and its その後の 外見 as a 明言する／公表する 議員, how （機の）カム Kovalev not to know that one ought not to advertise for a nose through a newspaper? Not that I say this because I consider newspaper 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金s for 告示s 過度の. No, that is nothing, and I do not belong to the number of the mean. I say it because such a 訴訟／進行 would have been _gauche_, derogatory, not the thing. And how （機の）カム the nose into the baked roll? And what of Ivan Yakovlevitch? Oh, I cannot understand these points--絶対 I cannot. And the strangest, most unintelligible fact of all is that authors 現実に can select such occurrences for their 支配する! I 自白する this too to pass my comprehension, to----But no; I will say just that I do not understand it. In the first place, a course of the sort never 利益s the country. And in the second place--in the second place, a course of the sort never 利益s anything at all. I cannot divine the use of it.

Yet, even considering these things; even 譲歩するing this, that, and the other (for where are not incongruities 設立する at times?) there may have, after all, been something in the 事件／事情／状勢. For no 事柄 what folk say to the contrary, such 事件／事情／状勢s do happen in this world--rarely of course, yet 非，不，無 the いっそう少なく really.

THE END

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