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肩書を与える: Emily's 追求（する），探索（する）
Author: Montgomery, L. M. (Lucy Maud), 1874-1942.
eBook No.: 0300161h.html
Language: English
Date first 地位，任命するd: December 2002
Date most recently updated: December 2002
This eBook was produced by: Don Lainson
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"No more cambric-tea" had Emily Byrd Starr written in her diary when she （機の）カム home to New Moon from Shrewsbury, with high school days behind her and immortality before her.
Which was a symbol. When Aunt Elizabeth Murray permitted Emily to drink real tea—as a 事柄 of course and not as an 時折の 譲歩—she その為に tacitly 同意d to let Emily grow up. Emily had been considered grownup by other people for some time, 特に by Cousin Andrew Murray and Friend Perry Miller, each of whom had asked her to marry him and been disdainfully 辞退するd for his 苦痛s. When Aunt Elizabeth 設立する this out she knew it was no use to go on making Emily drink cambric-tea. Though, even then, Emily had no real hope that she would ever be permitted to wear silk stockings. A silk petticoat might be 許容するd, 存在 a hidden thing, in spite of its seductive rustle, but silk stockings were immoral.
So Emily, of whom it was whispered somewhat mysteriously by people who knew her to people who didn't know her, "she 令状s," was 受託するd as one of the ladies of New Moon, where nothing had ever changed since her coming there seven years before and where the carved ornament on the sideboard still cast the same queer 影をつくる／尾行する of an Ethiopian silhouette on 正確に／まさに the same place on the 塀で囲む where she had noticed it delightedly on her first evening there. An old house that had lived its life long ago and so was very 静かな and wise and a little mysterious. Also a little 厳格な，質素な, but very 肉親，親類d. Some of the Blair Water and Shrewsbury people thought it was a dull place and 見通し for a young girl and said she had been very foolish to 辞退する 行方不明になる 王室の's 申し込む／申し出 of "a position on a magazine" in New York. Throwing away such a good chance to make something of herself! But Emily, who had very （疑いを）晴らす-削減（する） ideas of what she was going to make of herself, did not think life would be dull at New Moon or that she had lost her chance of Alpine climbing because she had elected to stay there.
She belonged by 権利 divine to the 古代の and Noble Order of Story-tellers. Born thousands of years earlier she would have sat in the circle around the 解雇する／砲火／射撃s of the tribe and enchanted her listeners. Born in the 真っ先の とじ込み／提出するs of time she must reach her audience through many 人工的な mediums.
But the 構成要素s of story weaving are the same in all ages and all places. Births, deaths, marriages, スキャンダルs—these are the only really 利益／興味ing things in the world. So she settled 負かす／撃墜する very determinedly and happily to her 追跡 of fame and fortune—and of something that was neither. For 令状ing, to Emily Byrd Starr, was not まず第一に／本来 a 事柄 of worldly lucre or laurel 栄冠を与える. It was something she had to do. A thing—an idea—whether of beauty or ugliness, 拷問d her until it was "written out." Humorous and 劇の by instinct, the comedy and 悲劇 of life enthralled her and 需要・要求するd 表現 through her pen. A world of lost but immortal dreams, lying just beyond the 減少（する）-curtain of the real, called to her for embodiment and 解釈／通訳—called with a 発言する／表明する she could not—dared not—disobey.
She was filled with 青年's joy in mere 存在. Life was for ever 誘惑するing and beckoning her onward. She knew that a hard struggle was before her; she knew that she must 絶えず 感情を害する／違反する Blair Water 隣人s who would want her to 令状 obituaries for them and who, if she used an unfamiliar word would say contemptuously that she was "talking big;" she knew there would be 拒絶 slips galore; she knew there would be days when she would feel despairingly that she could not 令状 and that it was of no use to try; days when the 編集（者）の phrase, "not やむを得ず a reflection on its 長所s," would get on her 神経s to such an extent that she would feel like imitating Marie Bashkirtseff and 投げつけるing the taunting, ticking, remorseless sitting-room clock out of the window; days when everything she had done or tried to do would 低迷—become mediocre and despicable; days when she would be tempted to bitter 不信 in her 根底となる 有罪の判決 that there was as much truth in the poetry of life as in the prose; days when the echo of that "無作為の word" of the gods, for which she so avidly listened, would only seem to taunt her with its suggestions of unattainable perfection and loveliness beyond the reach of mortal ear or pen.
She knew that Aunt Elizabeth 許容するd but never 認可するd her mania for scribbling. In her last two years in Shrewsbury High School Emily, to Aunt Elizabeth's almost incredulous amazement, had 現実に earned some money by her 詩（を作る）s and stories. Hence the toleration. But no Murray had ever done such a thing before. And there was always that sense, which Dame Elizabeth Murray did not like, of 存在 shut out of something. Aunt Elizabeth really resented the fact that Emily had another world, apart from the world of New Moon and Blair Water, a kingdom starry and illimitable, into which she could enter at will and into which not even the most 決定するd and 怪しげな of aunts could follow her. I really think that if Emily's 注目する，もくろむs had not so often seemed to be looking at something dreamy and lovely and 隠しだてする Aunt Elizabeth might have had more sympathy with her ambitions. 非，不，無 of us, not even self-十分であるing Murrays of New Moon, like to be 閉めだした out.
Those of you who have already followed Emily through her years of New Moon and Shrewsbury* must have a tolerable notion what she looked like. For those of you to whom she comes as a stranger let me draw a portrait of her as she seemed to the outward 注目する，もくろむ at the enchanted portal of seventeen, walking where the golden chrysanthemums lighted up an old autumnal, 海上の garden. A place of peace, that garden of New Moon. An enchanted pleasaunce, 十分な of rich, 感覚的な colours and wonderful spiritual 影をつくる／尾行するs. Scents of pine and rose were in it; にわか景気 of bees, threnody of 勝利，勝つd, murmurs of the blue 大西洋 湾; and always the soft sighing of the モミs in Lofty John Sullivan's "bush" to the north of it. Emily loved every flower and 影をつくる／尾行する and sound in it, every beautiful old tree in and around it, 特に her own intimate, beloved trees—a cluster of wild cherries in the south-west corner, Three Princesses of Lombardy, a 確かな maiden-like wild plum on the brook path, the big spruce in the centre of the garden, a silver maple and a pine さらに先に on, an aspen in another corner always coquetting with gay little 勝利，勝つd, and a whole 列／漕ぐ／騒動 of stately white birches in Lofty John's bush.
* See Emily of New Moon and Emily Climbs.
Emily was always glad that she lived where there were many trees—old ancestral trees, 工場／植物d and tended by 手渡すs long dead, bound up with everything of joy and 悲しみ that visited the lives in their 影をつくる／尾行するs.
A slender, virginal young thing. Hair like 黒人／ボイコット silk. Purplish-grey 注目する，もくろむs, with violet 影をつくる／尾行するs under them that always seemed darker and more alluring after Emily had sat up to some unholy and un-Elizabethan hour 完全にするing a story or working out the 骸骨／概要 of a 陰謀（を企てる）; scarlet lips with a Murray-like crease at the corners; ears with Puckish, わずかに pointed tips. Perhaps it was the crease and the ears that made 確かな people think her something of a puss. An exquisite line of chin and neck; a smile with a trick in it; such a slow-blossoming thing with a sudden radiance of fulfilment. And ankles that scandalous old Aunt Nancy Priest of Priest Pond commended. Faint stains of rose in her 一連の会議、交渉／完成するd cheeks that いつかs suddenly 深くするd to crimson. Very little could bring that transforming 紅潮／摘発する—a 勝利，勝つd off the sea, a sudden glimpse of blue upland, a 炎上-red poppy, white sails going out of the harbour in the 魔法 of morning, 湾-waters silver under the moon, a Wedgwood-blue columbine in the old orchard. Or a 確かな whistle in Lofty John's bush.
With all this—pretty? I cannot tell you. Emily was never について言及するd when Blair Water beauties were 存在 一覧表にするd. But no one who looked upon her 直面する ever forgot it. No one, 会合 Emily the second time ever had to say "Er—your 直面する seems familiar but—" 世代s of lovely women were behind her. They had all given her something of personality. She had the grace of running water. Something, too, of its sparkle and limpidity. A thought swayed her like a strong 勝利，勝つd. An emotion shook her as a tempest shakes a rose. She was one of those 決定的な creatures of whom, when they do die, we say it seems impossible that they can be dead. Against the background of her practical, sensible 一族／派閥 she shone like a diamond 炎上. Many people liked her, many disliked her. No one was ever wholly indifferent to her.
Once, when Emily had been very small, living with her father 負かす／撃墜する in the little old house at Maywood, where he had died, she had started out to 捜し出す the rainbow's end. Over long wet fields and hills she ran, 希望に満ちた, expectant. But as she ran the wonderful arch was faded—was 薄暗い—was gone. Emily was alone in an 外国人 valley, not too sure in which direction lay home. For a moment her lips quivered, her 注目する，もくろむs filled. Then she 解除するd her 直面する and smiled gallantly at the empty sky.
"There will be other rainbows," she said.
Emily was a chaser of rainbows.
Life at New Moon had changed. She must adjust herself to it. A 確かな loneliness must be reckoned with. Ilse Burnley, the madcap pal of seven faithful years, had gone to the School of Literature and 表現 in Montreal. The two girls parted with the 涙／ほころびs and 公約するs of girlhood. Never to 会合，会う on やめる the same ground again. For, disguise the fact as we will, when friends, even the closest—perhaps the more because of that very closeness—会合，会う again after a 分離 there is always a 冷気／寒がらせる, lesser or greater, of change. Neither finds the other やめる the same. This is natural and 必然的な. Human nature is ever growing or retrogressing—never 静止している. But still, with all our philosophy, who of us can repress a little feeling of bewildered 失望 when we realize that our friend is not and never can be just the same as before—even though the change may be by way of 改良? Emily, with the strange intuition which 供給（する）d the place of experience, felt this as Ilse did not, and felt that in a sense she was bidding good-bye for ever to the Ilse of New Moon days and Shrewsbury years.
Perry Miller, too, former "雇うd boy" of New Moon, メダル受領者 of Shrewsbury High School, 拒絶するd but not やめる hopeless suitor of Emily, butt of Ilse's 激怒（する）s, was gone. Perry was 熟考する／考慮するing 法律 in an office in Charlottetown, with his 注目する，もくろむ 直す／買収する，八百長をするd 堅固に on several glittering 合法的な goals. No rainbow ends—no mythical マリファナs of gold for Perry. He knew what he 手配中の，お尋ね者 would stay put and he was going after it. People were beginning to believe he would get it. After all, the 湾 between the 法律 clerk in Mr. Abel's office and the 最高裁判所 （法廷の）裁判 of Canada was no wider than the 湾 between that same 法律 clerk and the barefoot gamin of Stovepipe Town-by-the-Harbour.
There was more of the rainbow-探検者 in Teddy Kent, of the Tansy Patch. He, too, was going. To the School of Design in Montreal. He, too, knew—had known for years—the delight and allurement and despair and anguish of the rainbow 追求（する），探索（する）.
"Even if we never find it," he said to Emily, as they ぐずぐず残るd in the New Moon garden under the violet sky of a long, wondrous, northern twilight, on the last evening before he went away, "there's something in the search for it that's better than even the finding would be."
"But we will find it," said Emily, 解除するing her 注目する，もくろむs to a 星／主役にする that glittered over the tip of one of the Three Princesses. Something in Teddy's use of "we" thrilled her with its 関わりあい／含蓄s. Emily was always very honest with herself and she never 試みる／企てるd to shut her 注目する，もくろむs to the knowledge that Teddy Kent meant more to her than anyone else in the world. 反して she—what did she mean to him? Little? Much? Or nothing?
She was bareheaded and she had put a 星／主役にする-like cluster of tiny yellow 'mums in her hair. She had thought a good 取引，協定 about her dress before she decided on her primrose silk. She thought she was looking very 井戸／弁護士席, but what difference did that make if Teddy didn't notice it? He always took her so for 認めるd, she thought a little rebelliously. Dean Priest, now, would have noticed it and paid her some subtle compliment about it.
"I don't know," said Teddy, morosely scowling at Emily's topaz-注目する，もくろむd grey cat, Daffy, who was fancying himself as a skulking tiger in the spirea thicket. "I don't know. Now that I'm really 飛行機で行くing the Blue Peter I feel—flat. After all—perhaps I can never do anything 価値（がある） while. A little knack of 製図／抽選—what does it 量 to? 特に when you're lying awake at three o'clock at night?"
"Oh, I know that feeling," agreed Emily. "Last night I 検討する，考慮するd over a story for hours and 結論するd despairingly that I could never 令状—that it was no use to try—that I couldn't do anything really 価値（がある） while. I went to bed on that 公式文書，認める and drenched my pillow with 涙／ほころびs. Woke up at three and couldn't even cry. 涙／ほころびs seemed as foolish as laughter—or ambition. I was やめる 破産者／倒産した in hope and belief. And then I got up in the chilly grey 夜明け and began a new story. Don't let a three-o'clock-at-night feeling 霧 your soul."
"Unfortunately there's a three o'clock every night," said Teddy. "At that ungodly hour I am always 納得させるd that if you want things too much you're not likely ever to get them. And there are two things that I want tremendously. One, of course, is to be a 広大な／多数の／重要な artist. I never supposed I was a coward, Emily, but I'm afraid now. If I don't make good! Everybody'll laugh at me. Mother will say she knew it. She hates to see me go really, you know. To go and fail! It would be better not to go."
"No, it wouldn't," said Emily passionately, wondering at the same time in the 支援する of her 長，率いる what was the other thing Teddy 手配中の，お尋ね者 so tremendously. "You must not be afraid. Father said I wasn't to be afraid of anything in that talk I had with him the night he died. And isn't it Emerson who said, 'Always do what you are afraid to do?'"
"I'll bet Emerson said that when he'd got through with 存在 afraid of things. It's 平易な to be 勇敢に立ち向かう when you're taking off your harness."
"You know I believe in you, Teddy," said Emily softly.
"Yes, you do. You and Mr. Carpenter. You are the only ones who really do believe in me. Even Ilse thinks that Perry has by far the better chance of bringing home the bacon."
"But you are not going after bacon. You're going after rainbow gold."
"And if I fail to find it—and disappoint you—that will be worst of all."
"You won't fail. Look at that 星／主役にする, Teddy—the one just over the youngest Princess. It's Vega of the Lyre. I've always loved it. It's my dearest の中で the 星／主役にするs. Do you remember how, years ago when you and Ilse and I sat out in the orchard on the evenings when Cousin Jimmy was boiling pigs' potatoes, you used to spin us wonderful tales about that 星／主役にする—and of a life you had lived in it before you （機の）カム to this world. There was no three o'clock in the morning in that 星／主役にする."
"What happy, carefree little shavers we were those times," said Teddy, in the reminiscent 発言する／表明する of a middle-老年の, care-抑圧するd man wistfully 解任するing youthful irresponsibility.
"I want you to 約束 me," said Emily, "that whenever you see that 星／主役にする you'll remember that I am believing in you—hard."
"Will you 約束 me that whenever you look at that 星／主役にする you'll think of me?" said Teddy. "Or rather, let us 約束 each other that whenever we see that 星／主役にする we'll always think of each other—always. Everywhere and as long as we live."
"I 約束," said Emily, thrilled. She loved to have Teddy look at her like that.
A romantic compact. Meaning what? Emily did not know. She only knew that Teddy was going away—that life seemed suddenly very blank and 冷淡な—that the 勝利，勝つd from the 湾, sighing の中で the trees in Lofty John's bush was very sorrowful—that summer had gone and autumn had come. And that the マリファナ of gold at the rainbow's end was on some very far-distant hill.
Why had she said that thing about the 星／主役にする? Why did dusk and モミ-scent and the afterglow of autumnal sunsets make people say absurd things?
"NEW MOON,
"NOVEMBER 18, 19—
"To-day the December number of Marchwood's （機の）カム with my 詩（を作る）s 飛行機で行くing Gold in it. I consider the occasion worthy of について言及する in my diary because they were given a whole page to themselves and illustrated—the first time ever any poem of 地雷 was so honoured. It is trashy enough in itself, I suppose—Mr. Carpenter only 匂いをかぐd when I read it to him and 辞退するd to make any comment whatever on it. Mr. Carpenter never 'damns with faint 賞賛する' but he can damn with silence in a most 粉砕するing manner. But my poem looked so dignified that a careless reader might fancy there was something in it. Blessings on the good editor who was 奮起させるd to have it illustrated. He has 支えるd up my self-尊敬（する）・点 かなり.
"But I did not care overmuch for the illustration itself. The artist did not catch my meaning at all. Teddy would have done better.
"Teddy is doing splendidly at the School of Design. And Vega 向こうずねs brilliantly every night. I wonder if he really does always think of me when he sees it. Or if he ever does see it. Perhaps the electric lights of Montreal blot it out. He seems to see a good bit of Ilse. It's awfully nice for them to know each other in that big city of strangers."
"NOVEMBER 26, 19—
"To-day was a glamorous November afternoon—summer-穏やかな and autumn-甘い. I sat and read a long while in the pond burying-ground. Aunt Elizabeth thinks this a most gruesome place to sit in and tells Aunt Laura that she is afraid there's a morbid streak in me. I can't see anything morbid about it. It's a beautiful 位置／汚点／見つけ出す where wild, 甘い odours are always coming across Blair Water on the wandering 勝利，勝つd. And so 静かな and 平和的な, with the old 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大なs all about me—little green hillocks with small 霜d ferns ぱらぱら雨d over them. Men and women of my house are lying there. Men and women who had been 勝利を得た—men and women who had been 敗北・負かすd—and their victory and 敗北・負かす are now one. I never can feel either much exalted or much depressed there. The sting and the 強い味 alike go out of things. I like the old, old red sandstone 厚板s, 特に the one for Mary Murray with its 'Here I Stay'—the inscription into which her husband put all the 隠すd venom of a lifetime. His 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な is 権利 beside hers and I feel sure they have forgiven each other long ago. And perhaps they come 支援する いつかs in the dark o' the moon and look at the inscription and laugh at it. It is growing a little 薄暗い with tiny lichens. Cousin Jimmy has given up 捨てるing them away. Some day they will overgrow it so that it will be nothing but a green-and-red-and-silver smear on the old red 石／投石する."
"DEC. 20, 19—
"Something nice happened to-day. I feel pleasantly exhilarated. Madison's took my story, A 欠陥 in the 起訴，告発!!!! Yes, it deserves some exclamation-points after it to a certainty. If it were not for Mr. Carpenter I would 令状 it in italics. Italics! Nay, I'd use 資本／首都s. It is very hard to get in there. Don't I know! 港／避難所't I tried 繰り返して and 伸び（る）d nothing for my 苦痛s but a 収穫 of 'we-悔いるs?' And at last it has opened its doors to me. To be in Madison's is a （疑いを）晴らす and unmistakable 調印する that you're getting somewhere on the Alpine path. The dear editor was 肉親，親類d enough to say it was a charming story.
"Nice man!
"He sent me a cheque for fifty dollars. I'll soon be able to begin to 返す Aunt Ruth and Uncle Wallace what they spent on me in Shrewsbury. Aunt Elizabeth as usual looked at the cheque suspiciously but for the first time forebore to wonder if the bank would really cash it. Aunt Laura's beautiful blue 注目する，もくろむs beamed with pride. Aunt Laura's 注目する，もくろむs really do beam. She is one of the Victorians. Edwardian 注目する，もくろむs glitter and sparkle and allure but they never beam. And somehow I do like beaming 注目する，もくろむs—特に when they beam over my success.
"Cousin Jimmy says that Madison's is 価値（がある） all the other Yankee magazines put together in his opinion.
"I wonder if Dean Priest will like A 欠陥 in the 起訴，告発. And if he will say so. He never 賞賛するs anything I 令状 nowadays. And I feel such a craving to 強要する him to. I feel that his is the only commendation, apart from Mr. Carpenter's, that is 価値（がある） anything.
"It's 半端物 about Dean. In some mysterious way he seems to be growing younger. A few years ago I thought of him as やめる old. Now he seems only middle-老年の. If this keeps up he'll soon be a mere 青年. I suppose the truth is that my mind is beginning to 円熟した a bit and I'm catching up with him. Aunt Elizabeth doesn't like my friendship with him any more than she ever did. Aunt Elizabeth has a 井戸／弁護士席-示すd 反感 to any Priest. But I don't know what I'd do without Dean's friendship. It's the very salt of life."
"JANUARY 15, 19—
"To-day was 嵐の. I had a white night last night after four 拒絶s of MSS. I had thought 特に good. As 行方不明になる 王室の 予報するd, I felt that I had been an awful idiot not to have gone to New York with her when I had the chance. Oh, I don't wonder babies always cry when they wake up in the night. So often I want to do it, too. Everything 圧力（をかける）s on my soul then and no cloud has a silver lining. I was blue and disgruntled all the forenoon and looked 今後 to the coming of the mail as the one possible 救助（する） from the doldrums. There is always such a fascinating 見込み and 不確定 about the mail. What would it bring me? A letter from Teddy—Teddy 令状s the most delightful letters. A nice thin envelope with a cheque? A fat one woefully eloquent of more 拒絶するd MSS.? One of Ilse's fascinating scrawls? Nothing of the sort. 単に an 怒った epistle from Second-cousin-once-除去するd Beulah 認める of Derry Pond, who is furious because she thinks I 'put her' into my story Fools of Habit, which has just been copied into a 広範囲にわたって 循環させるd Canadian farm paper. She wrote me a 激しく reproachful letter which I received to-day. She thinks I 'might have spared an old friend who has always wished me 井戸／弁護士席.' She is 'not accustomed to 存在 ridiculed in the newspapers' and will I, in 未来, be so 肉親，親類d as to 差し控える from making her the butt of my supposed wit in the public 圧力（をかける）. Second-cousin-once-除去するd Beulah （権力などを）行使するs a facile pen of her own, when it comes to that, and while 確かな things in her letter 傷つける me other parts infuriated me. I never once even thought of Cousin Beulah when I wrote that story. The character of Aunt Kate is 純粋に imaginary. And if I had thought of Cousin Beulah I most certainly wouldn't have put her in a story. She is too stupid and commonplace. And she isn't a bit like Aunt Kate, who is, I flattered myself, a vivid, snappy, humorous old lady.
"But Cousin Beulah wrote to Aunt Elizabeth too, and we have had a family ruction. Aunt Elizabeth won't believe I am guiltless—she 宣言するs Aunt Kate is an exact picture of Cousin Beulah and she politely requests me—Aunt Elizabeth's polite requests are awesome things—not to caricature my 親族s in my 未来 生産／産物s.
"'It is not,' said Aunt Elizabeth in her stateliest manner, 'a thing any Murray should do—make money out of the peculiarities of her friends.'
"It was just another of 行方不明になる 王室の's 予測s 実行するd. Oh, was she as 権利 about everything else? If she was—
"But the worst 激突する of all （機の）カム from Cousin Jimmy, who had chuckled over Fools of Habit.
"'Never mind old Beulah, pussy,' he whispered. 'That was 罰金. You certainly did her up brown in Aunt Kate. I 認めるd her before I'd read a page. Knew her by her nose.' There you are! I unluckily happened to dower Aunt Kate with a 'long, drooping nose.' Nor can it be 否定するd that Cousin Beulah's nose is long and drooping. People have been hanged on no clearer 状況証拠. It was of no use to wail despairingly that I had never even thought of Cousin Beulah. Cousin Jimmy just nodded and chuckled again.
"'Of course. Best to keep it 静かな. Best to keep anything like that pretty 静かな.'
"The worst sting in all this is, that if Aunt Kate is really like Cousin Beulah 認める then I failed egregiously in what I was trying to do.
"However, I feel much better now than when I began this 入ること／参加（者）. I've got やめる a bit of 憤慨 and 反乱 and discouragement out of my system.
"That's the 長，指導者 use of a diary, I believe."
"FEB. 3, 19—
"This was a 'big day.' I had three 受託s. And one editor asked me to send him some stories. To be sure, I hate having an editor ask me to send a story, somehow. It's far worse than sending them unasked. The humiliation of having them returned after all is far deeper than when one just sends off a MS. to some 薄暗い impersonality behind an 編集（者）の desk a thousand miles away.
"And I have decided that I can't 令状 a story 'to order.' 'Tis a diabolical 仕事. I tried to lately. The editor of Young People asked me to 令状 a story along 確かな lines. I wrote it. He sent it 支援する, pointing out some faults and asking me to rewrite it. I tried to. I wrote and rewrote and altered and interlined until my MS. looked like a crazy patchwork of 黒人／ボイコット and blue and red 署名／調印するs. Finally I 解除するd one of the covers of the kitchen stove and 捨てるd in the 初めの yarn and all my variations thereof.
"After this I'm just going to 令状 what I want to. And the editors can be—canonized!
"There are northern lights and a misty new moon to-night."
"FEB. 16, 19—
"My story What the Jest Was 価値（がある） was in The Home 月毎の to-day. But I was only one of 'others' on the cover. However, to balance that I have been 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）d by 指名する as 'one of the 井戸／弁護士席-known and popular contributors for the coming year' in Girlhood Days. Cousin Jimmy has read this editor's foreword over half a dozen times and I heard him murmuring '井戸／弁護士席-known and popular' as he 分裂（する） the kindlings. Then he went to the corner 蓄える／店 and bought me a new Jimmy-調書をとる／予約する. Every time I pass a new milestone on the Alpine path Cousin Jimmy celebrates by giving me a new Jimmy-調書をとる／予約する. I never buy a notebook for myself. It would 傷つける his feelings. He always looks at the little pile of Jimmy-調書をとる／予約するs on my 令状ing-（米）棚上げする／（英）提議する with awe and reverence, 堅固に believing that all sorts of wonderful literature is locked up in the hodge-podge of description and characters and 'bits' they 含む／封じ込める.
"I always give Dean my stories to read. I can't help doing it, although he always brings them 支援する with no comment, or, worse than no comment—faint 賞賛する. It has become a sort of obsession with me to make Dean 収容する／認める I can 令状 something 価値（がある） while in its line. That would be 勝利. But unless and until he does, everything will be dust and ashes. Because—he knows."
"April 2, 19—
"The spring has 影響する／感情d a 確かな 青年 of Shrewsbury who comes out to New Moon occasionally. He is not a suitor of whom the House of Murray 認可するs. Nor, which is more important, one of whom E. B. Starr 認可するs. Aunt Elizabeth was very grim because I went to a concert with him. She was sitting up when I （機の）カム home.
"'You see I 港／避難所't eloped, Aunt Elizabeth,' I said. 'I 約束 you I won't. If I ever want to marry any one I'll tell you so and marry him in spite of your teeth.'
"I don't know whether Aunt Elizabeth went to bed with an easier mind or not. Mother eloped—thank goodness!—and Aunt Elizabeth is a 会社／堅い 信奉者 in 遺伝."
"April 15, 19—
"This evening I went away up the hill and prowled about the Disappointed House by moonlight. The Disappointed House was built thirty-seven years ago—partly built, at least—for a bride who never （機の）カム to it. There it has been ever since, boarded up, unfinished, heart-broken, haunted by the timid, forsaken ghosts of things that should have happened but never did. I always feel so sorry for it. For its poor blind 注目する，もくろむs that have never seen—that 港／避難所't even memories. No homelight ever shone out through them—only once, long ago, a gleam of firelight. It might have been such a nice little house, snuggled against that wooded hill, pulling little spruces all around it to cover it. A warm, friendly little house. And a good-natured little house. Not like the new one at the Corner that Tom Semple is putting up. It is a bad-tempered house. Vixenish, with little 注目する，もくろむs and sharp 肘s. It's 半端物 how much personality a house can have even before it is ever lived in at all. Once long ago, when Teddy and I were children, we 調査するd a board off the window and climbed in and made a 解雇する／砲火／射撃 in the fireplace. Then we sat there and planned out our lives. We meant to spend them together in that very house. I suppose Teddy has forgotten all about that childish nonsense. He 令状s often and his letters are 十分な and jolly and Teddy-like. And he tells me all the little things I want to know about his life. But lately they have become rather impersonal, it seems to me. They might just 同様に have been written to Ilse as to me.
"Poor little Disappointed House. I suppose you will always be disappointed."
"May 1, 19—
"Spring again! Young poplars with golden, ethereal leaves. Leagues of rippling 湾 beyond the silver-and-lilac sand-dunes.
"The winter has gone with a swiftness incredible, in spite of some terrible, 黒人／ボイコット three-o'clocks and lonely, discouraged twilights. Dean will soon be home from Florida. But neither Teddy nor Ilse is coming home this summer. This gave me a white night or two recently. Ilse is going to the coast to visit an aunt—a mother's sister who never took any notice of her before. And Teddy has got the chance of illustrating a 一連の North-west 機動力のある Police stories for a New York 会社／堅い and must spend his holidays making sketches for it in the far North. Of course it's a splendid chance for him and I wouldn't be a bit sorry—if he seemed a bit sorry because he wasn't coming to Blair Water. But he didn't.
"井戸／弁護士席, I suppose Blair Water and the old life here are to him as a tale that is told now.
"I didn't realize how much I had been building on Ilse and Teddy 存在 here for the summer or how much the hope of it had helped me through a few bad times in the winter. When I let myself remember that not once this summer will I hear Teddy's signal whistle in Lofty John's bush—not once happen on him in our secret, beautiful haunts of 小道／航路 and brookside—not once 交流 a thrilling, 重要な ちらりと見ること in a （人が）群がる when something happened which had a special meaning for us, all the colour seems to die out of life, leaving it just a 淡褐色, faded thing of shreds and patches.
"Mrs. Kent met me at the 地位，任命する-office yesterday and stopped to speak—something she very rarely does. She hates me as much as ever.
"'I suppose you have heard that Teddy is not coming home this summer?'
"'Yes,' I said 簡潔に.
"There was a 確かな 半端物, aching 勝利 in her 注目する，もくろむs as she turned away—a 勝利 I understood. She is very unhappy because Teddy will not be home for her but she is exultant that he will not be home for me. This shows, she is almost sure, that he cares nothing about me.
"井戸／弁護士席, I dare say she is 権利. Still one can't be altogether 暗い／優うつな in spring.
"And Andrew is engaged! To a girl of whom Aunt Addie 完全に 認可するs. 'I could not be more pleased with Andrew's choice if I had chosen her myself,' she said this afternoon to Aunt Elizabeth. To Aunt Elizabeth and at me. Aunt Elizabeth was coldly glad—or said she was. Aunt Laura cried a little—Aunt Laura always cries a bit when any one she knows is born or dead or married or engaged or come or gone or 投票ing his first 投票（する）. She couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Andrew would have been such a 安全な husband for me. Certainly there is no dynamite in Andrew."
At first nobody thought Mr. Carpenter's illness serious. He had had a good many attacks of rheumatism in 最近の years, laying him up for a few days. Then he could hobble 支援する to work, as grim and sarcastic as ever, with a new 辛勝する／優位 to his tongue. In Mr. Carpenter's opinion teaching in Blair Water School was not what it had been. Nothing there now, he said, but rollicking, soulless young nonentities. Not a soul in the school who could pronounce February or Wednesday.
"I'm tired trying to make soup in a sieve," he said gruffly.
Teddy and Ilse and Perry and Emily were gone—the four pupils who had leavened the school with a saving inspiration. Perhaps Mr. Carpenter was a little tired of—everything. He was not very old, as years go, but he had 燃やすd up most of his 憲法 in a wild 青年. The little, timid, faded slip of a woman who had been his wife had died unobtrusively in the 先行する autumn. She had never seemed to 事柄 much to Mr. Carpenter; but he had "gone 負かす／撃墜する" 速く after her funeral. The school children went in awe of his biting tongue and his more たびたび（訪れる） spurts of temper. The trustees began to shake their 長，率いるs and talk of a new teacher when the school year ended.
Mr. Carpenter's illness began as usual with an attack of rheumatism. Then there was heart trouble. Dr. Burnley, who went to see him にもかかわらず his obstinate 拒絶 to have a doctor, looked 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な and talked mysteriously of a 欠如（する） of "the will to live." Aunt Louisa Drummond of Derry Pond （機の）カム over to nurse him. Mr. Carpenter submitted to this with a 辞職 that was a bad omen—as if nothing 事柄d any more.
"Have your own way. She can potter 一連の会議、交渉／完成する if it will 緩和する your 良心s. So long as she leaves me alone I don't care what she does. I won't be fed and I won't be coddled and I won't have the sheets changed. Can't 耐える her hair, though. Too straight and shiny. Tell her to do something to it. And why does her nose look as if it were always 冷淡な?"
Emily ran in every evening to sit awhile with him. She was the only person the old man cared to see. He did not talk a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定, but he liked to open his 注目する，もくろむs every few minutes and 交流 a sly smile of understanding with her—as if the two of them were laughing together over some excellent joke of which only they could 見本 the flavour. Aunt Louisa did not know what to make of this 商業 of grins and その結果 disapproved of it. She was a 肉親，親類d-hearted creature, with much real motherliness in her 妨害するd maiden breast, but she was all at sea with these cheerful, Puckish, deathbed smiles of her 患者. She thought he had much better be thinking of his immortal soul. He was not a member of the church, was he? He would not even let the 大臣 come in to see him. But Emily Starr was welcomed whenever she （機の）カム. Aunt Louisa had her own secret 疑惑 of the said Emily Starr. Didn't she 令状? Hadn't she put her own mother's second-cousin, 団体／死体 and bones, into one of her stories? Probably she was looking for "copy" in this old pagan's deathbed. That explained her 利益／興味 in it, beyond a 疑問. Aunt Louisa looked curiously at this ghoulish young creature. She hoped Emily wouldn't put her in a story.
For a long time Emily had 辞退するd to believe that it was Mr. Carpenter's deathbed. He couldn't be so ill as all that. He didn't 苦しむ—he didn't complain. He would be all 権利 as soon as warmer 天候 （機の）カム. She told herself this so often that she made herself believe it. She could not let herself think of life in Blair Water without Mr. Carpenter.
One May evening Mr. Carpenter seemed much better. His 注目する，もくろむs flashed with their old satiric 解雇する／砲火／射撃, his 発言する／表明する rang with its old resonance; he joked poor Aunt Louisa—who never could understand his jokes but 耐えるd them with Christian patience. Sick people must be humoured. He told a funny story to Emily and laughed with her over it till the little low-raftered room rang. Aunt Louisa shook her 長，率いる. There were some things she did not know, poor lady, but she did know her own humble, faithful little 貿易（する） of unprofessional nursing; and she knew that this sudden rejuvenescence was no good 調印する. As the Scotch would say, he was "fey." Emily in her inexperience did not know this. She went home rejoicing that Mr. Carpenter had taken such a turn for the better. Soon he would be all 権利, 支援する at school, 雷鳴ing at his pupils, striding absently along the road reading some dog-eared classic, 非難するing her manuscripts with all his old trenchant humour. Emily was glad. Mr. Carpenter was a friend she could not afford to lose.
Aunt Elizabeth wakened her at two. She had been sent for. Mr. Carpenter was asking for her.
"Is he—worse?" asked Emily, slipping out of her high, 黒人／ボイコット bed with its carved 地位，任命するs.
"Dying," said Aunt Elizabeth 簡潔に. "Dr. Burnley says he can't last till morning."
Something in Emily's 直面する touched Aunt Elizabeth.
"Isn't it better for him, Emily," she said with an unusual gentleness. "He is old and tired. His wife has gone—they will not give him the school another year. His old age would be very lonely. Death is his best friend."
"I am thinking of myself," choked Emily.
She went 負かす／撃墜する to Mr. Carpenter's house, through the dark, beautiful spring night. Aunt Louisa was crying but Emily did not cry. Mr. Carpenter opened his 注目する，もくろむs and smiled at her—the same old, sly smile.
"No 涙／ほころびs," he murmured. "I forbid 涙／ほころびs at my deathbed. Let Louisa Drummond do the crying out in the kitchen. She might 同様に earn her money that way as another. There's nothing more she can do for me."
"Is there anything I can do?" asked Emily.
"Just sit here where I can see you till I'm gone, that's all. One doesn't like to go out—alone. Never liked the thought of dying alone. How many old she-weasels are out in the kitchen waiting for me to die?"
"There are only Aunt Louisa and Aunt Elizabeth," said Emily, unable to repress a smile.
"Don't mind my not—talking much. I've been talking—all my life. Through now. No breath—left. But if I think of anything—like you to be here."
Mr. Carpenter の近くにd his 注目する，もくろむs and relapsed into silence. Emily sat 静かに, her 長，率いる a soft blur of 不明瞭 against the window that was beginning to whiten with 夜明け. The ghostly 手渡すs of a fitful 勝利，勝つd played with her hair. The perfume of June lilies stole in from the bed under the open window—a haunting odour, sweeter than music, like all the lost perfumes of old, unutterably dear years. Far off, two beautiful, slender, 黒人／ボイコット モミs, of 正確に／まさに the same 高さ, （機の）カム out against the silver 夜明け-lit sky like the twin spires of some Gothic cathedral rising out of a bank of silver もや. Just between them hung a 薄暗い old moon, as beautiful as the evening 三日月. Their beauty was a 慰安 and 興奮剤 to Emily under the 強調する／ストレス of this strange 徹夜. Whatever passed—whatever （機の）カム—beauty like this was eternal.
Now and then Aunt Louisa （機の）カム in and looked at the old man. Mr. Carpenter seemed unconscious of these visitations but always when she went out he opened his 注目する，もくろむs and winked at Emily. Emily 設立する herself winking 支援する, somewhat to her own horror—for she had 十分な Murray in her to be わずかに scandalized over deathbed winks. Fancy what Aunt Elizabeth would say.
"Good little sport," muttered Mr. Carpenter after the second 交流 of winks. "Glad—you're there."
At three o'clock he grew rather restless. Aunt Louisa （機の）カム in again.
"He can't die till the tide goes out, you know," she explained to Emily in a solemn whisper.
"Get out of this with your superstitious blather," said Mr. Carpenter loudly and 明確に. "I'll die when I'm d—n 井戸／弁護士席 ready, tide or no tide."
Horrified Aunt Louisa excused him to Emily on the ground that he was wandering in his mind and slipped out.
"Excuse my ありふれた way, won't you?" said Mr. Carpenter. "I had to shock her out. Couldn't have that 年輩の 女性（の） person—一連の会議、交渉／完成する watching me die. Given her—a good yarn to tell—the 残り／休憩（する） of her—life. Awful—警告. And yet—she's a good soul. So good—she bores me. No evil in her. Somehow—one needs—a spice—of evil—in every personality. It's the—pinch of—salt—that brings out—the flavour."
Another silence. Then he 追加するd 厳粛に,
"Trouble is—the Cook—makes the pinch—too large—in most 事例／患者s. Inexperienced Cook—wiser after—a few eternities."
Emily thought he really was "wandering" now but he smiled at her.
"Glad you're here—little pal. Don't mind 存在—here—do you?"
"No," said Emily.
"When a Murray says—no—she means it."
After another silence Mr. Carpenter began again, this time more to himself, as it seemed, than anyone else.
"Going out—out beyond the 夜明け. Past the morning 星／主役にする. Used to think I'd be 脅すd. Not 脅すd. Funny. Think how much I'm going to know—in just a few more minutes, Emily. Wiser than anybody else living. Always 手配中の，お尋ね者 to know—to know. Never liked guesses. Done with curiosity—about life. Just curious now—about death. I'll know the truth, Emily—just a few more minutes and I'll know the—truth. No more guessing. And if—it's as I think—I'll be—young again. You can't know what—it means. You—who are young—can't have—the least idea—what it means—to be young—again."
His 発言する／表明する sank into restless muttering for a time, then rose 明確に,
"Emily, 約束 me—that you'll never 令状—to please anybody—but yourself."
Emily hesitated a moment. Just what did such a 約束 mean?
"約束," whispered Mr. Carpenter insistently.
Emily 約束d.
"That's 権利," said Mr. Carpenter with a sigh of 救済. "Keep that—and you'll be—all 権利. No use trying to please everybody. No use trying to please—critics. Live under your own hat. Don't be—led away—by those howls about realism. Remember—pine 支持を得ようと努めるd are just as real as—pigsties—and a darn sight pleasanter to be in. You'll get there—いつか—you have the root—of the 事柄—in you. And don't—tell the world—everything. That's what's the—事柄—with our—literature. Lost the charm of mystery—and reserve. There's something else I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to say—some 警告を与える—I can't—seem to remember—"
"Don't try," said Emily gently. "Don't tire yourself."
"Not—tired. Feel やめる through—with 存在 tired. I'm dying—I'm a 失敗—poor as a ネズミ. But after all, Emily—I've had a—darned 利益／興味ing time."
Mr. Carpenter shut his 注目する，もくろむs and looked so deathlike that Emily made an involuntary movement of alarm. He 解除するd a bleached 手渡す.
"No—don't call her. Don't call that weeping lady 支援する. Just yourself, little Emily of New Moon. Clever little girl, Emily. What was it—I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to say to her?"
A moment or two later he opened his 注目する，もくろむs and said in a loud, （疑いを）晴らす 発言する／表明する, "Open the door—open the door. Death must not be kept waiting."
Emily ran to the little door and 始める，決める it wide. A strong 勝利，勝つd of the grey sea 急ぐd in. Aunt Louisa ran in from the kitchen.
"The tide has turned—he's going out with it—he's gone."
Not やめる. As Emily bent over him the keen, shaggy-brown 注目する，もくろむs opened for the last time. Mr. Carpenter essayed a wink but could not compass it.
"I've—thought of it," he whispered. "Beware—of—italics."
Was there a little impish chuckle at the end of the words? Aunt Louisa always 宣言するd there was. Graceless old Mr. Carpenter had died laughing—説 something about Italians. Of course he was delirious. But Aunt Louisa always felt it had been a very unedifying deathbed. She was thankful that few such had come in her experience.
Emily went blindly home and wept for her old friend in the room of her dreams. What a gallant old soul he was—going out into the 影をつくる／尾行する—or into the sunlight?—with a laugh and a jest. Whatever his faults there had never been anything of the coward about old Mr. Carpenter. Her world, she knew, would be a colder place now that he was gone. It seemed many years since she had left New Moon in the 不明瞭. She felt some inward monition that told her she had come to a 確かな parting of the ways of life. Mr. Carpenter's death would not make any 外部の difference for her. にもかかわらず, it was as a milestone to which in after years she could look 支援する and say,
"After I passed that point everything was different."
All her life she had grown, as it seemed, by these fits and starts. Going on 静かに and changelessly for months and years; then all at once suddenly realizing that she had left some "low-丸天井d past" and 現れるd into some "new 寺" of the soul more spacious than all that had gone before. Though always, at first, with a 冷気／寒がらせる of change and a sense of loss.
The year after Mr. Carpenter's death passed 静かに for Emily—静かに, pleasantly—perhaps, though she tried to stifle the thought, a little monotonously. No Ilse—no Teddy—no Mr. Carpenter. Perry only very occasionally. But of course in the summer there was Dean. No girl with Dean Priest for a friend could be altogether lonely. They had always been such good friends, ever since the day, long ago, when she had fallen over the rocky bank of Malvern Bay and been 救助（する）d by Dean.* It did not 事柄 in the least that he limped わずかに and had a crooked shoulder, or that the dreamy brilliance of his green 注目する，もくろむs いつかs gave his 直面する an uncanny look. On the whole, there was no one in all the world she liked やめる so 井戸／弁護士席 as Dean. When she thought this she always italicized the "liked." There were some things Mr. Carpenter had not known.
*See Emily of New Moon.
Aunt Elizabeth never やめる 認可するd of Dean. But then Aunt Elizabeth had no 広大な／多数の／重要な love for any Priest.
There seemed to be a temperamental incompatibility between the Murrays and the Priests that was never 橋（渡しをする）d over, even by the 時折の marriages between the 一族／派閥s.
"Priests, indeed," Aunt Elizabeth was wont to say contemptuously, relegating the whole 一族／派閥, root and 支店, to limbo with one wave of her thin, unbeautiful Murray 手渡す. "Priests, indeed!"
"Murray is Murray and Priest is Priest and never the twain shall 会合，会う," Emily shamelessly mischievously misquoted Kipling once when Dean had asked in pretended despair why 非，不，無 of her aunts liked him.
"Your old 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Nancy over there at Priest Pond detests me," he said, with the little whimsical smile that いつかs gave him the look of an amused gnome, "And the Ladies Laura and Elizabeth 扱う／治療する me with the frosty politeness reserved by the Murrays for their dearest 敵s. Oh, I think I know why."
Emily 紅潮／摘発するd. She, too, was beginning to have an unwelcome 疑惑 why Aunts Elizabeth and Laura were even more frostily polite to Dean than of yore. She did not want to have it; she thrust it ひどく out and locked the door of thought upon it whenever it intruded there. But the thing whined on her doorstep and would not be banished. Dean, like everything and everybody else, seemed to have changed 夜通し. And what did the change 暗示する—hint? Emily 辞退するd to answer this question. The only answer that 示唆するd itself was too absurd. And too unwelcome.
Was Dean Priest changing from friend to lover? Nonsense. Arrant nonsense. Disagreeable nonsense. For she did not want him as a lover and she did want him madly as a friend. She couldn't lose his friendship. It was too dear, delightful, 刺激するing, wonderful. Why did such devilish things ever happen? When Emily reached this point in her disconnected musings she always stopped and retraced her mental steps ひどく, terrified to realize that she was almost on the point of admitting that "the something devilish" had already happened or was in 過程 of happening.
In one way it was almost a 救済 to her when Dean said casually one November evening:
"I suppose I must soon be thinking of my 年次の 移住."
"Where are you going this year?" asked Emily.
"Japan. I've never been there. Don't want to go now 特に. But what's the use of staying? Would you want to talk to me in the sitting-room all winter with the aunts in 審理，公聴会?"
"No," said Emily between a laugh and a shiver. She 解任するd one fiendish autumn evening of streaming rain and howling 勝利，勝つd when they couldn't walk in the garden but had to sit in the room where Aunt Elizabeth was knitting and Aunt Laura crocheting by the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する. It had been awful. And again why? Why couldn't they talk as 自由に and whimsically and intimately then as they did in the garden? The answer to this at least was not to be 表明するd in any 条件 of sex. Was it because they talked of so many things Aunt Elizabeth could not understand and so disapproved of? Perhaps. But whatever the 原因（となる） Dean might 同様に have been at the other 味方する of the world for all the real conversation that was possible.
"So I might 同様に go," said Dean, waiting for this exquisite, tall, white girl in an old garden to say she would 行方不明になる him horribly. She had said it every one of his flitting autumns for many years. But she did not say it this time. She 設立する she dared not.
Again, why?
Dean was looking at her with 注目する，もくろむs that could be tender or sorrowful or 熱烈な, as he willed, and which now seemed to be a mixture of all three 表現s. He must hear her say she would 行方不明になる him. His true 推論する／理由 for going away again this winter was to make her realize how much she 行方不明になるd him—make her feel that she could not live without him.
"Will you 行方不明になる me, Emily?"
"That goes without 説," answered Emily lightly—too lightly. Other years she had been very frank and serious about it. Dean was not altogether regretful for the change. But he could guess nothing of the 態度 of mind behind it. She must have changed because she felt something—嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd something, of what he had striven for years to hide and 抑える as 階級 madness. What then? Did this new lightness 示す that she didn't want to make a too important thing of admitting she would 行方不明になる him? Or was it only the 直感的に defence of a woman against something that 暗示するd or evoked too much?
"It will be so dreadful here this winter without you and Teddy and Ilse that I will not let myself think of it at all," went on Emily. "Last winter was bad. And this—I know somehow—will be worse. But I'll have my work."
"Oh, yes, your work," agreed Dean with the little, tolerant, half-amused inflection in his 発言する／表明する that always （機の）カム now when he spoke of her "work," as if it tickled him hugely that she should call her pretty scribblings "work." 井戸／弁護士席, one must humour the charming child. He could not have said so more plainly in words. His 関わりあい／含蓄s 削減（する） across Emily's 極度の慎重さを要する soul like a whip-攻撃する. And all at once her work and her ambitions became—momentarily at least—as childish and unimportant as he considered them. She could not 持つ／拘留する her own 有罪の判決 against him. He must know. He was so clever—so 井戸／弁護士席-educated. He must know. That was the agony of it. She could not ignore his opinion. Emily knew 深い 負かす／撃墜する in her heart that she would never be able wholly to believe in herself until Dean Priest 認める that she could do something honestly 価値（がある） while in its way. And if he never 認める it—
"I shall carry pictures of you wherever I go, 星／主役にする," Dean was 説. 星／主役にする was his old 愛称 for her—not as a pun on her 指名する but because he said she reminded him of a 星／主役にする. "I shall see you sitting in your room by that old 警戒／見張り window, spinning your pretty cobwebs—pacing up and 負かす／撃墜する in this old garden—wandering in the Yesterday Road—looking out to sea. Whenever I shall 解任する a bit of Blair Water loveliness I shall see you in it. After all, all other beauty is only a background for a beautiful woman."
"Her pretty cobwebs—" ah, there it was. That was all Emily heard. She did not even realize that he was telling her he thought her a beautiful woman.
"Do you think what I 令状 is nothing but cobwebs, Dean?" she asked chokingly.
Dean looked surprised, doing it very 井戸／弁護士席.
"星／主役にする, what else is it? What do you think it is yourself? I'm glad you can amuse yourself by 令状ing. It's a splendid thing to have a little hobby of the 肉親，親類d. And if you can 選ぶ up a few shekels by it—井戸／弁護士席, that's all very 井戸／弁護士席 too in this 肉親，親類d of a world. But I'd hate to have you dream of 存在 a Brontë or an Austen—and wake to find you'd wasted your 青年 on a dream."
"I don't fancy myself a Brontë or an Austen," said Emily. "But you didn't talk like that long ago, Dean. You used to think then I could do something some day."
"We don't bruise the pretty 見通しs of a child," said Dean. "But it's foolish to carry childish dreams over into 成熟. Better 直面する facts. You 令状 charming things of their 肉親，親類d, Emily. Be content with that and don't waste your best years yearning for the unattainable or 努力する／競うing to reach some 高さ far beyond your しっかり掴む."
Dean was not looking at Emily. He was leaning on the old sundial and scowling 負かす／撃墜する at it with the 空気／公表する of a man who was 軍隊ing himself to say a disagreeable thing because he felt it was his 義務.
"I won't be just a mere scribbler of pretty stories," cried Emily rebelliously. He looked into her 直面する. She was as tall as he was—a trifle taller, though he would not 収容する／認める it.
"You do not need to be anything but what you are," he said in a low vibrant トン. "A woman such as this old New Moon has never seen before. You can do more with those 注目する，もくろむs—that smile—than you can ever do with your pen."
"You sound like 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Nancy Priest," said Emily cruelly and contemptuously.
But had he not been cruel and contemptuous to her? Three o'clock that night 設立する her wide-注目する，もくろむd and anguished. She had lain through sleepless hours 直面する to 直面する with two hateful 有罪の判決s. One was that she could never do anything 価値（がある） doing with her pen. The other was that she was going to lose Dean's friendship. For friendship was all she could give him and it would not 満足させる him. She must 傷つける him. And oh, how could she 傷つける Dean whom life had used so cruelly? She had said "no" to Andrew Murray and laughed a 拒絶 to Perry Miller without a qualm. But this was an utterly different thing.
Emily sat up in bed in the 不明瞭 and moaned in a despair that was 非，不，無 the いっそう少なく real and painful because of the indisputable fact that thirty years later she might be wondering what on earth she had been moaning about.
"I wish there were no such things as lovers and love-making in the world," she said with savage intensity, honestly believing she meant it.
Like everybody, in daylight Emily 設立する things much いっそう少なく 悲劇の and more endurable than in the 不明瞭. A nice fat cheque and a 肉親，親類d letter of 評価 with it 回復するd a good 取引，協定 of her self-尊敬（する）・点 and ambition. Very likely, too, she had imagined 関わりあい／含蓄s into Dean's words and looks that he never meant. She was not going to be a silly goose, fancying that every man, young or old, who liked to talk to her, or even to 支払う／賃金 her compliments in shadowy, moonlit gardens, was in love with her. Dean was old enough to be her father.
Dean's unsentimental parting when he went away 確認するd her in this 慰安ing 保証／確信 and left her 解放する／自由な to 行方不明になる him without any 保留（地）／予約s. 行方不明になる him she did abominably. The rain in autumn fields that year was a very sorrowful thing and so were the grey ghost-霧s coming slowly in from the 湾. Emily was glad when snow and sparkle （機の）カム. She was very busy, 令状ing such long hours, often far into the night, that Aunt Laura began to worry over her health and Aunt Elizabeth once or twice 発言／述べるd protestingly that the price of coal-oil had gone up. As Emily paid for her own coal-oil this hint had no 影響 on her. She was very keen about making enough money to 返す Uncle Wallace and Aunt Ruth what they had spent on her high school years. Aunt Elizabeth thought this was a praiseworthy ambition. The Murrays were an 独立した・無所属 folk. It was a 一族／派閥 by-word that the Murrays had a boat of their own at the Flood. No promiscuous Ark for them.
Of course there were still many 拒絶s—which Cousin Jimmy carried home from the 地位，任命する-office speechless with indignation. But the 百分率 of 受託s rose 刻々と. Every new magazine 征服する／打ち勝つd meant a step 上向き on her Alpine path. She knew she was 刻々と 伸び（る）ing the mastery over her art. Even the "love talk" that had bothered her so much in the old days （機の）カム easily now. Had Teddy Kent's 注目する，もくろむs taught her so much? If she had taken time to think she might have been very lonely. There were some bad hours. 特に after a letter had come from Ilse 十分な of all her gay doings in Montreal, her 勝利s in the School of Oratory and her pretty new gowns. In the long twilights when she looked shiveringly from the windows of the old farmhouse and thought how very white and 冷淡な and 独房監禁 were the snow fields on the hill, how darkly remote and 悲劇の the Three Princesses, she lost 信用／信任 in her 星／主役にする. She 手配中の，お尋ね者 summer; fields of daisies; seas misty with moonrise or purple with sunset; companionship; Teddy. In such moments she always knew she 手配中の，お尋ね者 Teddy.
Teddy seemed far away. They still corresponded faithfully, but the correspondence was not what it was. Suddenly in the autumn Teddy's letters had grown わずかに colder and more formal. At this first hint of 霜 the 気温 of Emily's dropped noticeably.
But she had hours of rapture and insight that shed a glory backward and 今後. Hours when she felt the creative faculty within her, 燃やすing like a never-dying 炎上. Rare, sublime moments when she felt as a god, perfectly happy and undesirous. And there was always her dream-world into which she could escape from monotony and loneliness, and taste strange, 甘い happiness unmarred by any cloud or 影をつくる／尾行する. いつかs she slipped mentally 支援する into childhood and had delightful adventures she would have been ashamed to tell her adult world.
She liked to prowl about a good 取引，協定 by herself, 特に in twilight or moonlight alone with the 星／主役にするs and the trees, rarest of companions.
"I can't be contented indoors on a moonlight night. I have to be up and away," she told Aunt Elizabeth, who did not 認可する of prowling. Aunt Elizabeth never lost her uneasy consciousness that Emily's mother had eloped. And anyhow, prowling was 半端物. 非，不，無 of the other Blair Water girls prowled.
There were walks over the hills in the フクロウ's light when the 星／主役にするs rose—one after another, the 広大な／多数の／重要な 星座s of myth and legend. There were frosty moonrises that 傷つける her with their beauty; spires of pointed モミs against fiery sunsets; spruce copses 薄暗い with mystery; pacings to and fro on the To-morrow Road. Not the To-morrow Road of June, blossom-もやd, tender in young green. Nor yet the To-morrow Road of October, splendid in crimson and gold. But the To-morrow Road of a still, 雪の降る，雪の多い winter twilight—a white, mysterious, silent place 十分な of wizardry. Emily loved it better than all her other dear 位置／汚点／見つけ出すs. The spirit delight of that dream-haunted 孤独 never cloyed—its remote charm never 棺／かげりd.
If only there had been a friend to talk things over with! One night she awakened and 設立する herself in 涙／ほころびs, with a late moon 向こうずねing bluely and coldly on her through the 霜d window-panes. She had dreamed that Teddy had whistled to her from Lofty John's bush—the old, dear, signal whistle of childhood days; and she had run so 熱望して across the garden to the bush. But she could not find Teddy.
"Emily Byrd Starr, if I catch you crying again over a dream!" she said passionately.
Only three dynamic things happened that year to 変化させる the noiseless tenor of Emily's way. In the autumn she had a love 事件／事情／状勢—as Aunt Laura Victorianly phrased it. Rev. James Wallace, the new, 井戸／弁護士席-meaning, ladylike young 大臣 at Derry Pond, began making excuses for visiting Blair Water Manse やめる often and from there drifted over to New Moon. Soon everybody in Blair Water and Derry Pond knew that Emily Starr had a 大臣の beau. Gossip was very rife. It was a foregone 結論 that Emily would jump at him. A 大臣! 長，率いるs were shaken over it. She would never make a suitable 大臣's wife. Never in the world. But wasn't it always the way? A 大臣 選ぶing on the very last girl he should have.
At New Moon opinion was divided. Aunt Laura, who owned to a Dr. Fell feeling about Mr. Wallace, hoped Emily wouldn't "take" him. Aunt Elizabeth, in her secret soul, was not overfond of him either, but she was dazzled by the idea of a 大臣. And such a 安全な lover. A 大臣 would never think of eloping. She thought Emily would be a very lucky girl if she could "get" him.
When it became sadly evident that Mr. Wallace's calls at New Moon had 中止するd, Aunt Elizabeth gloomily asked Emily the 推論する／理由 and was horrified to hear that the ungrateful minx had told Mr. Wallace she could not marry him.
"Why?" 需要・要求するd Aunt Elizabeth in icy 不賛成.
"His ears, Aunt Elizabeth, his ears," said Emily flippantly. "I really couldn't 危険 having my children 相続する ears like that."
The indelicacy of such a reply staggered Aunt Elizabeth—which was probably why Emily had made it. She knew Aunt Elizabeth would be afraid to 言及する to the 支配する again.
The Rev. James Wallace thought it was "his 義務" to go West the next spring. And that was that.
Then there was the episode of the 地元の theatricals in Shrewsbury which were written up with vitriolic 乱用 in one of the Charlottetown papers. Shrewsbury people 非難するd Emily Byrd Starr for doing it. Who else, they 需要・要求するd, could or would have written with such diabolic cleverness and sarcasm? Every one knew that Emily Byrd Starr had never forgiven Shrewsbury people for believing those yarns about her in the old John House 事件／事情／状勢. This was her method of 復讐. Wasn't that like the Murrays? Carrying a secret grudge for years, until a suitable chance for 復讐 現在のd itself. Emily 抗議するd her innocence in vain. It was never discovered who had written the 報告（する）／憶測 and as long as she lived it kept coming up against her.
But in one way it worked out to her advantage. She was 招待するd to all the social doings in Shrewsbury after that. People were afraid to leave her out lest she "令状 them up." She could not get to everything—Shrewsbury was seven miles from Blair Water. But she got to Mrs. Tom Nickle's dinner dance and thought for six weeks that it had changed the 現在の of her whole 存在.
Emily-in-the-glass looked very 井戸／弁護士席 that night. She had got the dress she had longed for for years—spent the whole price of a story on it, to her Aunt's horror. 発射 silk—blue in one light, silver in another, with もやs of lace. She remembered that Teddy had said that when she got that dress he would paint her as an Ice-maiden in it.
Her 権利-手渡す 隣人 was a man who kept making "funny speeches" all through the meal and kept her wondering for what good 目的 God had ever fashioned him.
But her left-手渡す 隣人! He talked little but he looked! Emily decided that she liked a man whose 注目する，もくろむs said more than his lips. But he told her she looked like "the moonbeam of a blue summer night" in that gown. I think it was that phrase that finished Emily—発射 her clean through the heart—like the unfortunate little duck of the nursery rhyme. Emily was helpless before the charm of a 井戸／弁護士席-turned phrase. Before the evening was over Emily, for the first time in her life, had fallen wildly and romantically into the wildest and most romantic 肉親，親類d of love—"the love the poets dreamed of," as she wrote in her diary. The young man—I believe his beautiful and romantic 指名する was Aylmer Vincent—was やめる as madly in love as she. He literally haunted New Moon. He 支持を得ようと努めるd beautifully. His way of 説 "dear lady" charmed her. When he told her that "a beautiful 手渡す was one of the 長，指導者 charms of a beautiful woman" and looked adoringly at hers Emily kissed her 手渡すs when she went to her room that night because his 注目する，もくろむs had caressed them. When he called her raptly "a creature of もや and 炎上" she もやd and 炎上d about 薄暗い old New Moon until Aunt Elizabeth unthinkingly quenched her by asking her to fry up a （製品，工事材料の）一回分 of doughnuts for Cousin Jimmy. When he told her she was like an opal—milk-white outside but with a heart of 解雇する／砲火／射撃 and crimson, she wondered if life would always be like this.
"And to think I once imagined I cared for Teddy Kent," she thought in amazement at herself.
She neglected her 令状ing and asked Aunt Elizabeth if she could have the old blue box in the attic for a hope chest. Aunt Elizabeth graciously acceded. The 記録，記録的な／記録する of the new suitor had been 調査／捜査するd and 設立する impeccable. Good family—good social position—good 商売／仕事. All the omens were auspicious.
And then a truly terrible thing happened.
Emily fell out of love just as suddenly as she had fallen into it. One day she was, and the next she wasn't. That was all there was to it.
She was aghast. She couldn't believe it. She tried to pretend the old enchantment still 存在するd. She tried to thrill and dream and blush. Nary thrill, nary blush. Her dark-注目する，もくろむd lover—why had it never struck her before that his 注目する，もくろむs were 正確に／まさに like a cow's?—bored her. Ay, bored her. She yawned one evening in the very 中央 of one of his 罰金 speeches. Why, there was nothing to him but 罰金 speeches. There was nothing to 追加する to that.
She was so ashamed that she was almost ill over it. Blair people thought she had been jilted and pitied her. The aunts who knew better were disappointed and disapproving.
"Fickle—fickle—like all the Starrs," said Aunt Elizabeth 激しく.
Emily had no 勇気 to defend herself. She supposed she deserved it all. Perhaps she was fickle. She must be fickle. When such a glorious conflagration fizzled out so speedily and utterly into ashes. Not a 誘発する of it left. Not even a romantic memory. Emily viciously 署名／調印するd out the passage in her diary about "the love the poets dreamed of."
She was really very unhappy about it for a long while. Had she no depth at all? Was she such a superficial creature that even love with her was like the seeds that fell into the shallow 国／地域 in the immortal parable? She knew other girls had these silly, tempestuous, ephemeral 事件／事情／状勢s but she would never have supposed she would have one—could have one. To be swept off her feet like that by a handsome 直面する and mellifluous 発言する／表明する and 広大な／多数の／重要な dark 注目する，もくろむs and a trick of pretty speeches! In 簡潔な／要約する Emily felt that she had made an 絶対の fool of herself and the Murray pride could not stick it.
To make it worse the young man married a Shrewsbury girl in six months. Not that Emily cared whom he married or how soon. But it meant that his romantic ardours were but things of superficiality, too, and lent a deeper tinge of humiliation to the silly 事件／事情／状勢. Andrew had been so easily consoled also. Percy Miller was not wasting in despair. Teddy had forgotten her. Was she really incapable of 奮起させるing a 深い and 継続している passion in a man? To be sure, there was Dean. But even Dean could go away winter after winter and leave her to be 支持を得ようと努めるd and won by any chance-met suitor.
"Am I fundamentally superficial?" poor Emily 需要・要求するd of herself with terrible intensity
She took up her pen again with a secret gladness. But for a かなりの time the love-making in her stories was やめる 冷笑的な and misanthropic in its flavour.
Teddy Kent and Ilse Burnley （機の）カム home in the summer for a 簡潔な／要約する vacation. Teddy had won an Art Scholarship which meant two years in Paris and was to sail for Europe in two weeks. He had written the news to Emily in an off-手渡す way and she had 答える／応じるd with the congratulations of a friend and sister. There was no 言及／関連 in either letter to rainbow gold or Vega of the Lyre. Yet Emily looked 今後 to his coming with a wistful, ashamed hope that would not be 否定するd. Perhaps—dared she hope it?—when they met again 直面する to 直面する, in their old haunted 支持を得ようと努めるd and trysts—this coldness that had grown up so inexplicably between them would 消える as a sea-霧 消えるs when the sun rose over the 湾. No 疑問 Teddy had had his imitation love 事件／事情／状勢s as she had hers. But when he （機の）カム—when they looked again into each other's 注目する，もくろむs—when she heard his signal whistle in Lofty John's bush—
But she never heard it. On the evening of the day when she knew Teddy was 推定する／予想するd home she walked in the garden の中で brocaded moths, wearing a new gown of "砕く-blue" chiffon and listened for it. Every コマドリ call brought the 血 to her cheek and made her heart （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 wildly. Then （機の）カム Aunt Laura through the dew and dusk.
"Teddy and Ilse are here," she said.
Emily went in to the stately, stiff, dignified parlour of New Moon, pale, queenly, aloof. Ilse 投げつけるd herself upon her with all her old, tempestuous affection, but Teddy shook 手渡すs with a 冷静な／正味の detachment that almost equalled her own. Teddy? Oh, dear, no. Frederick Kent, R.A.-to-be. What was there left of the old Teddy in this わずかな／ほっそりした, elegant young man with his sophisticated 空気／公表する and 冷静な／正味の, impersonal 注目する，もくろむs, and general 関わりあい／含蓄 of having put off for ever all childish things—含むing foolish old 見通しs and insignificant little country girls he had played with in his 幼少／幼藍期?
In which 結論 Emily was horribly 不正な to Teddy. But she was not in a mood to be just to anybody. Nobody is who has made a fool of herself. And Emily felt that that was just what she had done—again. Mooning romantically about in a twilight garden, 特に wearing 砕く-blue, waiting for a lover's signal from a beau who had forgotten all about her—or only remembered her as an old schoolmate on whom he had very 適切に and kindly and conscientiously come to call. 井戸／弁護士席, thank heaven, Teddy did not know how absurd she had been. She would take excellent care that he should never 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う it. Who could be more friendly and remote than a Murray of New Moon? Emily's manner, she flattered herself, was admirable. As gracious and impersonal as to an entire stranger. 新たにするd congratulations on his wonderful success, coupled with an 絶対の 欠如（する） of all real 利益／興味 in it. Carefully phrased, polite questions about his work on her 味方する; carefully phrased polite questions about her work on his 味方する. She had seen some of his pictures in the magazines. He had read some of her stories. So it went, with a wider 湾 開始 between them at every moment. Never had Emily felt herself so far away from Teddy. She 認めるd with a feeling that was almost terror how 完全に he had changed in those two years of absence. It would in truth have been a 恐ろしい interview had it not been for Ilse, who chattered with all her old breeziness and 強い味, planning out a two weeks of gay doings while she was home, asking hundreds of questions; the same lovable old madcap of laughter and jest and dressed with all her old gorgeous 違反s of 受託するd canons of taste. In an 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の dress—a thing of greenish-yellow. She had a big pink peony at her waist and another at her shoulder. She wore a 有望な green hat with a 花冠 of pink flowers on it. 広大な／多数の／重要な hoops of pearl swung in her ears. It was a weird 衣装. No one but Ilse could have worn it 首尾よく. And she looked like the incarnation of a thousand tropic springs in it—exotic, 挑発的な, beautiful. So beautiful! Emily realized her friend's beauty afresh with a pang not of envy, but of bitter humiliation. Beside Ilse's golden sheen of hair and brilliance of amber 注目する，もくろむs and red-rose loveliness of cheeks she must look pale and dark and insignificant. Of course Teddy was in love with Ilse. He had gone to see her first—had been with her while Emily waited for him in the garden. 井戸／弁護士席, it made no real difference. Why should it? She would be just as friendly as ever. And was. Friendly with a vengeance. But when Teddy and Ilse had gone—together—laughing and teasing each other through the old To-morrow Road Emily went up to her room and locked the door. Nobody saw her again until the next morning.
The gay two weeks of Ilse's planning followed. Picnics, dances and jamborees galore. Shrewsbury society decided that a rising young artist was somebody to be taken notice of and took notice accordingly. It was a veritable whirl of gaiety and Emily whirled about in it with the others. No step はしけ in the dance, no 発言する／表明する quicker in the jest, and all the time feeling like the 哀れな spirit in a ghost story she had once read who had a live coal in its breast instead of a heart. All the time, feeling, too, far 負かす／撃墜する under surface pride and hidden 苦痛, that sense of 完成 and fulfilment which always （機の）カム to her when Teddy was 近づく her. But she took good care never to be alone with Teddy, who certainly could not be （刑事）被告 of any 試みる／企てる to inveigle her into twosomes. His 指名する was 自由に coupled with Ilse's and they took so composedly the teasing they 遭遇（する）d, that the impression 伸び（る）d ground that "things were pretty 井戸／弁護士席 understood between them." Emily thought Ilse might have told her if it were so. But Ilse, though she told many a tale of lovers forlorn whose agonies seemed to 嘘（をつく） very lightly on her 良心, never について言及するd Teddy's 指名する, which Emily thought had a 拷問ing significance of its own. She 問い合わせd after Perry Miller, wanting to know if he were as big an oaf as ever and laughing over Emily's indignant defence.
"He will be 首相 some day no 疑問," agreed Ilse scornfully. "He'll work like the devil and never 行方不明になる anything by 欠如（する） of asking for it, but won't you always smell the herring-バーレル／樽s of Stovepipe Town?"
Perry （機の）カム to see Ilse, bragged a bit too much over his 進歩 and got so snubbed and manhandled that he did not come again. Altogether the two weeks seemed a nightmare to Emily, who thought she was unreservedly thankful when the time （機の）カム for Teddy to go. He was going on a sailing 大型船 to Halifax, wanting to make some 航海の sketches for a magazine, and an hour before flood-tide, while the Mira 物陰／風下 swung at 錨，総合司会者 by the wharf at Stovepipe Town, he （機の）カム to say good-bye. He did not bring Ilse with him—no 疑問, thought Emily, because Ilse was visiting in Charlottetown; but Dean Priest was there, so there was no dreaded 孤独 a deux. Dean was creeping 支援する into his own, after the two weeks' junketings from which he had been 閉めだした out. Dean would not go to dances and clam-bakes, but he was always hovering in the background, as everybody 関心d felt. He stood with Emily in the garden and there was a 確かな 空気／公表する of victory and 所有／入手 about him that did not escape Teddy's 注目する，もくろむ. Dean, who never made the mistake of thinking gaiety was happiness, had seen more than others of the little 演劇 that had been played out in Blair Water during those two weeks and the dropping of the curtain left him a 満足させるd man. The old, shadowy, childish 事件／事情／状勢 between Teddy Kent of the Tansy Patch and Emily of New Moon, was finally ended. Whatever its significance or 欠如（する） of significance had been, Dean no longer counted Teddy の中で his 競争相手s.
Emily and Teddy parted with the hearty handshake and 相互の good wishes of old schoolmates who do indeed wish each other 井戸／弁護士席 but have no very 決定的な 利益／興味 in the 事柄.
"栄える and be hanged to you," as some old Murray had been wont to say.
Teddy got himself away very gracefully. He had the gift of making an artistic 出口, but he did not once look 支援する. Emily turned すぐに to Dean and 再開するd the discussion which Teddy's coming had interrupted. Her 攻撃するs hid her 注目する，もくろむs very securely. Dean, with his uncanny ability to read her thoughts, should not—must not guess—what? What was there to guess? Nothing—絶対 nothing. Yet Emily kept her 攻撃するs 負かす／撃墜する.
When Dean, who had some other 約束／交戦 that evening, went away half an hour later she paced sedately up and 負かす／撃墜する の中で the gold of primroses for a little while, the very incarnation, in all seeming, of maiden meditation fancy 解放する／自由な.
"Spinning out a 陰謀（を企てる）, no 疑問," thought Cousin Jimmy proudly, as he glimpsed her from the kitchen window. "It （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域s me how she does it."
Perhaps Emily was spinning out a 陰謀（を企てる）. But as the 影をつくる／尾行するs 深くするd she slipped out of the garden, through the dreamy peace of the old columbine orchard—along the Yesterday Road—over the green pasture field—past the Blair Water—up the hill beyond—past the Disappointed House—through the 厚い モミ 支持を得ようと努めるd. There, in a clump of silver birches, one had an 無傷の 見解（をとる） of the harbour, 炎上ing in lilac and rose-colour. Emily reached it a little breathlessly—she had almost run at the last. Would she be to late? Oh, what if she should be too late?
The Mira 物陰／風下 was sailing out of the harbour, a dream 大型船 in the glamour of sunset, past purple headlands and distant, fairylike, misty coasts. Emily stood and watched her till she had crossed the 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 into the 湾 beyond. Stood and watched her until she had faded from sight in the blue dimness of the 落ちるing night, conscious only of a terrible hunger to see Teddy once more—just once more. To say good-bye as it should have been said.
Teddy was gone. To another world. There was no rainbow in sight. And what was Vega of the Lyre but a whirling, 炎上ing, incredibly distant sun?
She slipped 負かす／撃墜する の中で the grasses at her feet and lay there sobbing in the 冷淡な moonshine that had suddenly taken the place of the friendly twilight.
Mingled with her sharp agony was incredulity. This thing could not have happened. Teddy could no have gone away with only that soulless, chilly, polite good-bye. After all their years of comradeship, if nothing else. Oh, how would she ever get herself past three o'clock this night?
"I am a hopeless fool," she whispered savagely. "He has forgotten. I am nothing to him. And I deserve it. Didn't I forget him in those crazy weeks when I was imagining myself in love with Aylmer Vincent? Of course somebody has told him all about that. I've lost my chance of real happiness through that absurd 事件／事情／状勢. Where is my pride? To cry like this over a man who has forgotten me. But—but—it's so nice to cry after having had to laugh for these hideous weeks."
Emily flung herself into work feverishly after Teddy had gone. Through long summer days and nights she wrote, while the purple stains 深くするd under her 注目する，もくろむs and the rose stains faded out of her cheeks. Aunt Elizabeth thought she was 殺人，大当り herself and for the first time was reconciled to her intimacy with Jarback Priest, since he dragged Emily away from her desk in the evenings at least for walks and 会談 in the fresh 空気／公表する. That summer Emily paid off the last of her indebtedness to Uncle Wallace and Aunt Ruth with her "マリファナ-boilers."
But there was more than マリファナ-boiling a-doing. In her first anguish of loneliness, as she lay awake at three o'clock, Emily had remembered a 確かな wild winter night when she and Ilse and Perry and Teddy had been "嵐／襲撃するd in" in the old John House on the Derry Pond Road;* remembered all the スキャンダル and 苦しむing that had arisen there-from; and remembered also that night of rapt delight "thinking out" a story that had flashed into her mind at a 確かな gay, 重要な speech of Teddy's. At least, she had thought it 重要な then. 井戸／弁護士席, that was all over. But wasn't the story somewhere? She had written the 輪郭（を描く） of that alluring, fanciful tale in a Jimmy-調書をとる／予約する the next day. Emily sprang out of bed in the still summer moonlight, lighted one of the famous candles of New Moon, and rummaged through a pile of old Jimmy-調書をとる／予約するs. Yes, here it was. A 販売人 of Dreams. Emily squatted 負かす／撃墜する on her haunches and read it through. It was good. Again it 掴むd 持つ／拘留する of her imagination and called 前へ／外へ all her creative impulse. She would 令状 it out—she would begin that very moment. Flinging a dressing-gown over her white shoulders to 保護する them from the keen 湾 空気／公表する she sat 負かす／撃墜する before her open window and began to 令状. Everything else was forgotten—for a time at least—in the subtle, all-embracing joy of 創造.
* See Emily Climbs.
Teddy was nothing but a 薄暗い memory—love was a blown-out candle. Nothing 事柄d but her story. The characters （機の）カム to life under her 手渡す and 群れているd through her consciousness, vivid, alluring, 説得力のある. Wit, 涙／ほころびs, and laughter trickled from her pen. She lived and breathed in another world and （機の）カム 支援する to New Moon only at 夜明け to find her lamp 燃やすd out, and her （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する littered with manuscript—the first four 一時期／支部s of her 調書をとる／予約する. Her 調書をとる／予約する! What 魔法 and delight and awe and incredulity in the thought.
For weeks Emily seemed to live really only when she was 令状ing it. Dean 設立する her strangely rapt and remote, absent and impersonal. Her conversation was as dull as it was possible for Emily's conversation to be, and while her 団体／死体 sat or walked beside him her soul was—where? In some 地域 where he could not follow, at all events. It had escaped him.
Emily finished her 調書をとる／予約する in six weeks—finished it at 夜明け one morning. She flung 負かす／撃墜する her pen and went to her window, 解除するing her pale, 疲れた／うんざりした, 勝利を得た little 直面する to the skies of morning.
Music was dripping through the leafy silence in Lofty John's bush. Beyond were 夜明け-rosy meadows and the garden of New Moon living in an enchanted 静める. The 勝利，勝つd's dance over the hills seemed some dear 返答 to the music and rhythm in her 存在. Hills, sea, 影をつくる／尾行するs, all called to her with a thousand elfin 発言する／表明するs of understanding and acclaim. The old 湾 was singing. Exquisite 涙／ほころびs were in her 注目する，もくろむs. She had written it—oh, how happy she was! This moment atoned for everything.
Finished—完全にする! There it lay—A 販売人 of Dreams—her first 調書をとる／予約する. Not a 広大な／多数の／重要な 調書をとる／予約する—oh, no, but hers—her very own. Something to which she had given birth, which would never have 存在するd had she not brought it into 存在. And it was good. She knew it was—felt it was. A fiery, delicate tale, instinct with romance, pathos, humour. The rapture of 創造 still illuminated it. She turned the pages over, reading a bit here and there—wondering if she could really have written that. She was 権利 under the rainbow's end. Could she not touch the 魔法, prismatic thing? Already her fingers were clasping the マリファナ of gold.
Aunt Elizabeth walked in with her usual 静める 無視（する） of any useless 形式順守 such as knocking.
"Emily," she said 厳しく, "have you been sitting up all night again?"
Emily （機の）カム 支援する to earth with that abominable mental 揺さぶる which can only be truly 述べるd as a thud—a "sickening thud" at that. Very sickening. She stood like a 罪人／有罪を宣告するd schoolgirl. And A 販売人 of Dreams became 即時に a mere heap of scribbled paper.
"I—I didn't realize how time was passing, Aunt Elizabeth," she stammered.
"You are old enough to have better sense," said Aunt Elizabeth. "I don't mind your 令状ing—now. You seem to be able to earn a living by it in a very ladylike way. But you will 難破させる your health if you keep this sort of thing up. Have you forgotten that your mother died of 消費? At any 率, don't forget that you must 選ぶ those beans to-day. It's high time they were 選ぶd."
Emily gathered up her manuscript with all her careless rapture gone. 創造 was over; remained now the sordid 商売／仕事 of getting her 調書をとる／予約する published. Emily typewrote it on the little third-手渡す machine Perry had 選ぶd up for her at an auction sale—a machine that wrote only half of any 資本／首都 letter and wouldn't print the "m's" at all. She put the 資本／首都s and the "m's" in afterwards with a pen and sent the MS. away to a publishing 会社／堅い. The publishing 会社／堅い sent it 支援する with a typewritten screed 明言する／公表するing that "their readers had 設立する some 長所 in the story but not enough to 令状 an 受託."
This "damning with faint 賞賛する" flattened Emily out as not even a printed slip could have done. Talk about three o'clock that night! No, it is an 行為／法令／行動する of mercy not to talk about it—or about many 連続する three o'clocks.
"Ambition!" wrote Emily 激しく in her diary. "I could laugh! Where is my ambition now? What is it like to be ambitious? To feel that life is before you, a fair, unwritten white page where you may inscribe your 指名する in letters of success? To feel that you have the wish and 力／強力にする to 勝利，勝つ your 栄冠を与える? To feel that the coming years are （人が）群がるing to 会合，会う you and lay their largess at your feet? I once knew what it was to feel so."
All of which goes to show how very young Emily still was. But agony is 非，不，無 the いっそう少なく real because in later years when we have learned that everything passes, we wonder what we agonized about. She had a bad three weeks of it. Then she 回復するd enough to send her story out again. This time the publisher wrote to her that he might consider the 調書をとる／予約する if she would make 確かな changes in it. It was too "静かな." She must "pep it up." And the ending must be changed 完全に. It would never do.
Emily tore his letter savagely into bits. Mutilate and degrade her story? Never! The very suggestion was an 侮辱.
When a third publisher sent it 支援する with a printed slip Emily's belief in it died. She tucked it away and took up her pen grimly.
"井戸／弁護士席, I can 令状 short stories at least. I must continue to do that."
にもかかわらず, the 調書をとる／予約する haunted her. After a few weeks she took it out and reread it—coolly, 批判的に, 解放する／自由な alike from the delusive glamour of her first rapture and from the 平等に delusive 不景気 of 拒絶 slips. And still it seemed to her good. Not やめる the wonder-tale she had fancied it, perhaps; but still a good piece of work. What then? No writer, so she had been told, was ever 有能な of 裁判官ing his own work 正確に. If only Mr. Carpenter were alive! He would tell her the truth. Emily made a sudden terrible 決意／決議. She would show it to Dean. She would ask for his 静める unprejudiced opinion and がまんする by it. It would be hard. It was always hard to show her stories to any one, most of all to Dean, who knew so much and had read everything in the world. But she must know. And she knew Dean would tell her the truth, good or bad. He thought nothing of her stories. But this was different. Would he not see something 価値（がある） while in this? If not—
"Dean, I want your candid opinion about this story. Will you read it carefully, and tell me 正確に／まさに what you think of it? I don't want flattery—or 誤った 激励—I want the truth—the naked truth."
"Are you so sure of that?" asked Dean dryly. "Very few people can 耐える seeing the naked truth. It has to have a rag or two to make it presentable."
"I do want the truth," said Emily stubbornly. "This 調書をとる／予約する has been"—she choked a little over the 自白, "辞退するd three times. If you find any good in it I'll keep on trying to find a publisher for it. If you 非難する it I'll 燃やす it."
Dean looked inscrutably at the little packet she held out to him. So this was what had wrapped her away from him all summer—吸収するd her—所有するd her. The one 黒人／ボイコット 減少（する） in his veins—that Priest jealousy of 存在 first—suddenly made its 毒（薬） felt.
He looked into her 冷淡な, 甘い 直面する and starry 注目する，もくろむs, grey-purple as a lake at 夜明け, and hated whatever was in the packet, but he carried it home and brought it 支援する three nights later. Emily met him in the garden, pale and 緊張した.
"井戸／弁護士席," she said.
Dean looked at her, 有罪の. How ivory white and exquisite she was in the 冷気／寒がらせる dusk!
"'Faithful are the 負傷させるs of a friend.' I should be いっそう少なく than your friend if I told you falsehoods about this, Emily."
"So—it's no good."
"It's a pretty little story, Emily. Pretty and flimsy and ephemeral as a rose-色合いd cloud. Cobwebs—only cobwebs. The whole conception is too far-fetched. Fairy tales are out of the fashion. And this one of yours makes overmuch of a 需要・要求する on the credulity of the reader. And your characters are only puppets. How could you 令状 a real story? You've never lived."
Emily clenched her 手渡すs and bit her lips. She dared not 信用 her 発言する／表明する to say a 選び出す／独身 word. She had not felt like this since the night Ellen Greene had told her her father must die. Her heart, that had beaten so tumultuously a few minutes ago, was like lead, 激しい and 冷淡な. She turned and walked away from him. He limped softly after her and touched her shoulder.
"許す me, 星／主役にする. Isn't it better to know the truth? Stop reaching for the moon. You'll never get it. Why try to 令状, anyway? Everything has already been written."
"Some day," said Emily, 説得力のある herself to speak 刻々と, "I may be able to thank you for this. To-night I hate you."
"Is that just?" asked Dean 静かに.
"No, of course it isn't just," said Emily wildly. "Can you 推定する／予想する me to be just when you've just killed me? Oh, I know I asked for it—I know it's good for me. Horrible things always are good for you, I suppose. After you've been killed a few times you don't mind it. But the first time one does—squirm. Go away, Dean. Don't come 支援する for a week at least. The funeral will be over then."
"Don't you believe I know what this means to you, 星／主役にする?" asked Dean pityingly.
"You can't—altogether. Oh, I know you're 同情的な. I don't want sympathy. I only want time to bury myself decently."
Dean, knowing it would be better to go, went. Emily watched him out of sight. Then she took up the little dog-eared, discredited manuscript he had laid on the 石／投石する （法廷の）裁判 and went up to her room. She looked it over by her window in the fading light. 宣告，判決 after 宣告，判決 leaped out at her—witty, poignant, beautiful. No, that was only her fond, foolish, maternal delusion. There was nothing of that sort in the 調書をとる／予約する. Dean had said so. And her 調書をとる／予約する people. How she loved them. How real they seemed to her. It was terrible to think of destroying them. But they were not real. Only "puppets." Puppets would not mind 存在 燃やすd. She ちらりと見ることd up at the starlit sky of the autumn night. Vega of the Lyre shone bluely 負かす／撃墜する upon her. Oh, life was an ugly, cruel, wasteful thing!
Emily crossed over to her little fireplace and laid A 販売人 of Dreams in the grate. She struck a match, knelt 負かす／撃墜する and held it to a corner with a 手渡す that did not tremble. The 炎上 掴むd on the loose sheets 熱望して, murderously. Emily clasped her 手渡すs over her heart and watched it with dilated 注目する，もくろむs, remembering the time she had 燃やすd her old "account 調書をとる／予約する" rather than let Aunt Elizabeth see it. In a few moments the manuscript was a 集まり of writhing 解雇する／砲火／射撃s—in a few more seconds it was a heap of crinkled ashes, with here and there an 告発する／非難するing ghost-word coming out whitely on a blackened fragment, as if to reproach her.
Repentance 掴むd upon her. Oh, why had she done it? Why had she 燃やすd her 調書をとる／予約する? Suppose it was no good. Still, it was hers. It was wicked to have 燃やすd it. She had destroyed something incalculably precious to her. What did the mothers of old feel when their children had passed through the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 to Moloch—when the sacrificial impulse and excitement had gone? Emily thought she knew.
Nothing of her 調書をとる／予約する, her dear 調書をとる／予約する that had seemed so wonderful to her, but ashes—a little, pitiful heap of 黒人／ボイコット ashes. Could it be so? Where had gone all the wit and laughter and charm that had seemed to 微光 in its pages—all the dear folks who had lived in them—all the secret delight she had woven into them as moonlight is woven の中で pines? Nothing left but ashes. Emily sprang up in such an anguish of 悔いる that she could not 耐える it. She must get out—away—anywhere. Her little room, 一般に so dear and beloved and cosy, seemed like a 刑務所，拘置所. Out—somewhere—into the 冷淡な, 解放する／自由な autumn night with its grey ghost-もやs—away from 塀で囲むs and 境界s—away from that little heap of dark flakes in the grate—away from the reproachful ghosts of her 殺人d 調書をとる／予約する folks. She flung open the door of the room and 急ぐd blindly to the stair.
Aunt Laura never to the day of her death forgave herself for leaving that mending-basket at the 長，率いる of the stair. She had never done such a thing in her life before. She had been carrying it up to her room when Elizabeth called peremptorily from the kitchen asking where something was. Laura 始める，決める her basket 負かす／撃墜する on the 最高の，を越す step and ran to get it. She was away only a moment. But that moment was enough for predestination and Emily. The 涙／ほころび-blinded girl つまずくd over the basket and fell—headlong 負かす／撃墜する the long 法外な staircase of New Moon. There was a moment of 恐れる—a moment of wonderment—she felt 急落（する），激減（する）d into deadly 冷淡な—she felt 急落（する），激減（する）d into 燃やすing heat—she felt a 急に上がるing 上向き—a 落ちるing into unseen depths—a 猛烈な／残忍な を刺す of agony in her foot—then nothing more. When Laura and Elizabeth （機の）カム running in there was only a crumpled silken heap lying at the foot of the stairs with balls and stockings all around it and Aunt Laura's scissors bent and 新たな展開d under the foot they had so cruelly pierced.
From October to April Emily Starr lay in bed or on the sitting-room lounge watching the interminable 風の強い drift of clouds over the long white hills or the passionless beauty of winter trees around 静かな fields of snow, and wondering if she would ever walk again—or walk only as a pitiable 手足を不自由にする／（物事を）損なう. There was some obscure 傷害 to her 支援する upon which the doctors could not agree. One said it was ごくわずかの and would 権利 itself in time. Two others shook their 長，率いるs and were afraid. But all were agreed about the foot. The scissors had made two cruel 負傷させるs—one by the ankle, one on the 単独の of the foot. 血-毒（薬）ing 始める，決める in. For days Emily hovered between life and death, then between the scarcely いっそう少なく terrible 代案／選択肢 of death and amputation. Aunt Elizabeth 妨げるd that. When all the doctors agreed that it was the only way to save Emily's life she said grimly that it was not the Lord's will, as understood by the Murrays, that people's 四肢s should be 削減（する） off. Nor could she be 除去するd from this position. Laura's 涙／ほころびs and Cousin Jimmy's pleadings and Dr. Burnley's execrations and Dean Priest's 協定s budged her not a 手早く書き留める. Emily's foot should not be 削減（する） off. Nor was it. When she 回復するd unmaimed Aunt Elizabeth was 勝利を得た and Dr. Burnley confounded.
The danger of amputation was over, but the danger of 継続している and bad lameness remained. Emily 直面するd that all winter.
"If I only knew one way or the other," she said to Dean. "If I knew, I could （不足などを）補う my mind to 耐える it—perhaps. But to 嘘（をつく） here—wondering—wondering if I'll ever be 井戸／弁護士席."
"You will be 井戸／弁護士席," said Dean savagely.
Emily did not know what she would have done without Dean that winter. He had given up his invariable winter trip and stayed in Blair Water that he might be 近づく her. He spent the days with her, reading, talking, encouraging, sitting in the silence of perfect companionship. When he was with her Emily felt that she might even be able to 直面する a lifetime of lameness. But in the long nights when everything was blotted out by 苦痛 she could not 直面する it. Even when there was no 苦痛 her nights were often sleepless and very terrible when the 勝利，勝つd wailed drearily about the old New Moon eaves or chased 飛行機で行くing phantoms of snow over the hills. When she slept she dreamed, and in her dreams she was for ever climbing stairs and could never get to the 最高の，を越す of them, 誘惑するd 上向き by an 半端物 little whistle—two higher 公式文書，認めるs and a low one—that ever 退却／保養地d as she climbed. It was better to 嘘（をつく） awake than have that terrible, 頻発する dream. Oh, those bitter nights! Once Emily had not thought that the Bible 詩（を作る） 宣言するing that there would be no night in heaven 含む／封じ込めるd an attractive 約束. No night? No soft twilight enkindled with 星／主役にするs? No white sacrament of moonlight? No mystery of velvet 影をつくる／尾行する and 不明瞭? No ever-amazing 奇蹟 of 夜明け? Night was as beautiful as day and heaven would not be perfect without it.
But now in these dreary weeks of 苦痛 and dread she 株d the hope of the Patmian seer. Night was a dreadful thing.
People said Emily Starr was very 勇敢に立ち向かう and 患者 and uncomplaining. But she did not seem so to herself. They did not know of the agonies of 反乱 and despair and cowardice behind her outward calmness of Murray pride and reserve. Even Dean did not know—though perhaps he 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd.
She smiled gallantly when smiling was 示すd, but she never laughed. Not even Dean could make her laugh, though he tried with all the 力／強力にするs of wit and humour at his 命令（する）.
"My days of laughter are done," Emily said to herself. And her days of 創造 同様に. She could never 令状 again. The "flash" never （機の）カム. No rainbow spanned the gloom of that terrible winter. People （機の）カム to see her continuously. She wished they would stay away. 特に Uncle Wallace and Aunt Ruth, who were sure she would never walk again and said so every time they （機の）カム. Yet they were not so bad as the 報知係s who were cheerfully 確かな she would be all 権利 in time and did not believe a word of it themselves. She had never had any intimate friends except Dean and Ilse and Teddy. Ilse wrote 週刊誌 letters in which she rather too 明白に tried to 元気づける Emily up. Teddy wrote once when he heard of her 事故. The letter was very 肉親，親類d and tactful and 心から 同情的な. Emily thought it was the letter any indifferent friendly 知識 might have written and she did not answer it though he had asked her to let him know how she was getting on. No more letters （機の）カム. There was nobody but Dean. He had never failed her—never would fail her. More and more as the interminable days of 嵐／襲撃する and gloom passed she turned to him. In that winter of 苦痛 she seemed to herself to grow so old and wise that they met on equal ground at last. Without him life was a 荒涼とした, grey 砂漠 devoid of colour or music. When he （機の）カム the 砂漠 would—for a time at least—blossom like the rose of joy and a thousand flowerets of fancy and hope and illusion would fling their garlands over it.
When spring （機の）カム Emily got 井戸／弁護士席—got 井戸／弁護士席 so suddenly and quickly that even the most 楽観的な of the three doctors was amazed. True, for a few weeks she had to limp about on a crutch, but the time （機の）カム when she could do without it—could walk alone in the garden and look out on the beautiful world with 注目する，もくろむs that could not be 満足させるd with seeing. Oh, how good life was again! How good the green sod felt beneath her feet! She had left 苦痛 and 恐れる behind her like a cast-off 衣料品 and felt gladness—no, not gladness 正確に／まさに, but the 可能性 of 存在 glad once more いつか.
It was 価値（がある） while to have been ill to realize the savour of returning health and 井戸／弁護士席-存在 on a morning like this, when a sea-勝利，勝つd was blowing up over the long, green fields. There was nothing on earth like a sea-勝利，勝つd. Life might, in some ways, be a thing of shreds and tatters, everything might be changed or gone; but pansies and sunset clouds were still fair. She felt again her old joy in mere 存在.
"'Truly the light is 甘い and a pleasant thing it is for the 注目する，もくろむ to behold the sun,'" she 引用するd dreamily.
Old laughter （機の）カム 支援する. On the first day that Emily's laughter was heard again in New Moon Laura Murray, whose hair had turned from ash to snow that winter, went to her room and knelt 負かす／撃墜する by her bed to thank God. And while she knelt there Emily was talking about God to Dean in the garden on one of the most beautiful spring twilights imaginable, with a little, growing moon in the 中央 of it.
"There have been times this past winter when I felt God hated me. But now again I feel sure He loves me," she said softly.
"So sure?" questioned Dean dryly. "I think God is 利益／興味d in us but He doesn't love us. He likes to watch us to see what we'll do. Perhaps it amuses Him to see us squirm."
"What a horrible conception of God!" said Emily with a shudder. "You don't really believe that about Him, Dean."
"Why not?"
"Because He would be worse than a devil then—a God who thought only about his own amusement, without even the devil's justification of hating us."
"Who 拷問d you all winter with bodily 苦痛 and mental anguish?" asked Dean.
"Not God. And He—sent me you," said Emily 刻々と. She did not look at him; she 解除するd her 直面する to the Three Princesses in their Maytime beauty—a white-rose 直面する now, pale from its winter's 苦痛. Beside her the big spirea, which was the pride of Cousin Jimmy's heart, banked up in its June-time snow, making a beautiful background for her. "Dean, how can I ever thank you for what you've done for me—been to me—since last October? I can never put it in words. But I want you to know how I feel about it."
"I've done nothing except snatch at happiness. Do you know what happiness it was to me to do something for you 星／主役にする—help you in some way—to see you turning to me in your 苦痛 for something that only I could give—something I had learned in my own years of loneliness? And to let myself dream something that couldn't come true—that I knew ought not to come true—"
Emily trembled and shivered わずかに. Yet why hesitate—why put off that which she had fully made up her mind to do?
"Are you so sure, Dean," she said in a low トン, "that your dream—can't come true?"
There was a tremendous sensation in the Murray 一族／派閥 when Emily 発表するd that she was going to marry Dean Priest. At New Moon the 状況／情勢 was very 緊張した for a time. Aunt Laura cried and Cousin Jimmy went about shaking his 長，率いる and Aunt Elizabeth was exceedingly grim. Yet in the end they made up their minds to 受託する it. What else could they do? By this time even Aunt Elizabeth realized that when Emily said she was going to do a thing she would do it
"You would have made a worse fuss if I had told you I was going to marry Perry of Stovepipe Town," said Emily when she had heard all Aunt Elizabeth had to say.
"Of course that is true enough," 認める Aunt Elizabeth when Emily had gone out. "And, after all, Dean is 井戸／弁護士席-off—and the Priests are a good family."
"But so—so Priesty," sighed Laura. "And Dean is far, far too old for Emily. Besides, his 広大な／多数の／重要な-広大な／多数の／重要な-grandfather went insane."
"Dean won't go insane."
"His children might."
"Laura," said Elizabeth rebukingly, and dropped the 支配する.
"Are you very sure you love him, Emily?" Aunt Laura asked that evening.
"Yes—in a way," said Emily.
Aunt Laura threw out her 手渡すs and spoke with a sudden passion utterly foreign to her.
"But there's only one way of loving."
"Oh no, dearest of Victorian aunties," answered Emily gaily. "There are a dozen different ways. You know I've tried one or two ways already. And they failed me. Don't worry about Dean and me. We understand each other perfectly."
"I only want you to be happy, dear."
"And I will be happy—I am happy. I'm not a romantic little dreamer any longer. Last winter took that all out of me. I'm going to marry a man whose companionship 満足させるs me 絶対 and he's やめる 満足させるd with what I can give him—real affection and comradeship. I am sure that is the best 創立／基礎 for a happy marriage. Besides, Dean needs me. I can make him happy. He has never been happy. Oh, it is delightful to feel that you 持つ／拘留する happiness in your 手渡す and can 持つ／拘留する it out, like a pearl beyond price, to one who longs for it."
"You're too young," 繰り返し言うd Aunt Laura.
"It's only my 団体／死体 that's young. My soul is a hundred years old. Last winter made me feel so old and wise. You know."
"Yes, I know." But Laura also knew that this very feeling old and wise 単に 証明するd Emily's 青年. People who are old and wise never feel either. And all this talk of 老年の souls didn't do away with the fact that Emily, わずかな／ほっそりした, radiant, with 注目する，もくろむs of mystery, was not yet twenty, while Dean Priest was forty-two. In fifteen years—but Laura would not think of it.
And, after all, Dean would not take her away. There had been happy marriages with just as much 不平等 of age.
Nobody, it must be 認める, seemed to regard the match with favour. Emily had a rather abominable time of it for a few weeks. Dr. Burnley 激怒（する）d about the 事件／事情／状勢 and 侮辱d Dean. Aunt Ruth （機の）カム over and made a scene.
"He's an infidel, Emily."
"He isn't!" said Emily indignantly.
"井戸／弁護士席, he doesn't believe what we believe," 宣言するd Aunt Ruth as if that せねばならない settle the 事柄 for any true Murray.
Aunt Addie, who had never forgiven Emily for 辞退するing her son, even though Andrew was now happily and 都合よく, most 都合よく, married, was very hard to 耐える. She contrived to make Emily feel a most condescending pity. She had lost Andrew, so must console herself with lame Jarback Priest. Of course Aunt Addie did not put it in so many blunt words but she might 同様に have. Emily understood her 関わりあい／含蓄s perfectly.
"Of course, he's richer than a young man could be," 譲歩するd Aunt Addie.
"And 利益／興味ing," said Emily. "Most young men are such bores. They 港／避難所't lived long enough to learn that they are not the wonders to the world they are to their mothers."
So honours were about even there.
The Priests did not like it any too 井戸／弁護士席 either. Perhaps because they did not care to see a rich uncle's 所有／入手s thus slipping through the fingers of hope. They said Emily Starr was just marrying Dean for his money, and the Murrays took care that she should hear they had said it. Emily felt that the Priests were continually and maliciously discussing her behind her 支援する.
"I'll never feel at home in your 一族／派閥," she told Dean rebelliously.
"Nobody will ask you to. You and I, 星／主役にする, are going to live unto ourselves. We are not going to walk or talk or think or breathe によれば any 一族／派閥 基準, be it Priest or Murray. If the Priests disapprove of you as a wife for me the Murrays still more emphatically disapprove of me as a husband for you. Never mind. Of course the Priests find it hard to believe that you are marrying me because you care anything for me. How could you? I find it hard to believe myself."
But you do believe it, Dean? Truly I care more for you than any one in the world. Of course—I told you—I don't love you like a silly, romantic girl."
"Do you love any one else?" asked Dean 静かに. It was the first time he had 投機・賭けるd to ask the question.
"No. Of course—you know—I've had one or two broken-支援するd love 事件／事情／状勢s—silly schoolgirl fancies. That is all years behind me. Last winter seems like a lifetime—dividing me by centuries from those old follies. I'm all yours, Dean."
Dean 解除するd the 手渡す he held and kissed it. He had never yet touched her lips.
"I can make you happy, 星／主役にする. I know it. Old—lame as I am, I can make you happy. I've been waiting for you all my life, my 星／主役にする. That's what you've always seemed to me, Emily. An exquisite, unreachable 星／主役にする. Now I have you—持つ／拘留する you—wear you on my heart. And you will love me yet—some day you will give me more than affection."
The passion in his 発言する／表明する startled Emily a little. It seemed in some way to 需要・要求する more of her than she had to give. And Ilse, who had 卒業生（する）d from the School of Oratory and had come home for a week before going on a summer concert 小旅行する, struck another 公式文書，認める of 警告 that 乱すd faintly for a time.
"In some ways, honey, Dean is just the man for you. He's clever and fascinating and not so horribly conscious of his own importance as most of the Priests. But you'll belong to him 団体／死体 and soul. Dean can't 耐える any one to have any 利益／興味 outside of him. He must 所有する 排他的に. If you don't mind that—"
"I don't think I do."
"Your 令状ing—"
"Oh, I'm done with that. I seem to have no 利益／興味 in it since my illness. I saw—then—how little it really 事柄d—how many more important things there were—"
"As long as you feel like that you'll be happy with Dean. Heigh-売春婦." Ilse sighed and pulled the 血-red rose that was pinned to her waist to pieces. "It makes me feel fearfully old and wise to be talking like this of your getting married, Emily. It seems so—absurd in some ways. Yesterday we were schoolgirls. To-day you're engaged. To-morrow—you'll be a grandmother."
"Aren't you—isn't there anybody in your own life, Ilse?"
"Listen to the fox that lost her tail. No, thank you. Besides—one might 同様に be frank. I feel an awful mood of honest 自白 on me. There's never been anybody for me but Perry Miller. And you've got your claws in him."
Perry Miller. Emily could not believe her ears.
"Ilse Burnley! You've always laughed at him—激怒（する）d at him—"
"Of course I did. I liked him so much that it made me furious to see him making a fool of himself. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be proud of him and he always made me ashamed of him. Oh, there were times when he made me mad enough to bite the 脚 off a 議長，司会を務める. If I hadn't cared, do you suppose it would have 事柄d what 肉親，親類d of a donkey he was? I can't get over it—the 'Burnley sotness,' I suppose. We never change. Oh, I'd have jumped at him—would yet—herring-バーレル／樽s, Stovepipe Town and all. There you have it. But never mind. Life is very decent without him."
"Perhaps—some day—"
"Don't dream it. Emily, I won't have you setting about making matches for me. Perry never gave me two thoughts—never will. I'm not going to think of him. What's that old 詩（を作る） we laughed over once that last year in high school—thinking it was all nonsense?
Since ever the world was spinning
And till the world shall end
You've your man in the beginning
Or you have him in the end,
But to have him from start to finish
And neither to borrow nor lend
Is what all of the girls are wanting
And 非，不，無 of the gods can send.
"井戸／弁護士席, next year I'll 卒業生（する）. For years after that a career. Oh, I dare say I'll marry some day."
"Teddy?" said Emily, before she could 妨げる herself. She could have bitten her tongue off the moment the word escaped it.
Ilse gave her a long, keen look, which Emily parried 首尾よく with all the Murray pride—too 首尾よく, perhaps.
"No, not Teddy. Teddy never thought about me. I 疑問 if he thinks of any one but himself. Teddy's a duck but he's selfish, Emily, he really is."
"No, no," indignantly. She could not listen to this.
"井戸／弁護士席, we won't quarrel over it. What difference does it make if he is? He's gone out of our lives anyway. The cat can have him. He's going to climb to the 最高の，を越す—they thought him a wow in Montreal. He'll make a wonderful portrait painter—if he can only cure himself of his old trick of putting you into all the 直面するs he paints."
"Nonsense. He doesn't—"
"He does. I've 激怒（する）d at him about it times without number. Of course he 否定するs it. I really think he's やめる unconscious of it himself. It's the hang-over from some old unconscious emotion, I suppose—to use the jargon of modern psychologists. Never mind. As I said, I mean to marry いつか. When I'm tired of a career. It's very jolly now—but some day. I'll make a sensible wedding o't, just as you're doing, with a heart of gold and a pocket of silver. Isn't it funny to be talking of marrying some man you've never even seen? What is he doing at this very moment? Shaving—断言するing—breaking his heart over some other girl? Still, he's to marry me. Oh, we'll be happy enough, too. And we'll visit each other, you and I—and compare our children—call your first girl Ilse, won't you, friend of my heart—and—and what a devilish thing it is to be a woman, isn't it, Emily?"
Old Kelly, the tin peddler, who had been Emily's friend of many years, had to have his say about it, too. One could not 抑える Old Kelly.
"Gurrl dear, is it true that ye do be after going to marry Jarback Praste?"
"やめる true." Emily knew it was of no use to 推定する／予想する Old Kelly to call Dean anything but Jarback. But she always winced.
Old Kelly crabbed his 直面する.
"Ye're too young at the 商売／仕事 of living to be marrying any one—laste of all a Praste."
"港／避難所't you been twitting me for years with my slowness in getting a beau?" asked Emily shyly.
"Gurrl dear, a joke is a joke. But this is beyond joking. Don't be pig-長，率いるd now, there's a jewel. Stop a bit and think it over. There do be some knots mighty aisy to tie but the untying is a cat of a different brade. I've always been 警告 ye against marrying a Praste. 'Twas a foolish thing—I might av known it. I should 've towld ye to marry one."
"Dean isn't like the other Priests, Mr. Kelly. I'm going to be very happy."
Old Kelly shook his bushy, 赤みを帯びた grey 長，率いる incredulously.
"Then you'll be the first Praste woman that ever was, not aven laving out the ould Lady at the Grange. But she liked a fight every day. It'll be the death av you."
"Dean and I won't fight—at least not every day." Emily was having some fun to herself. Old Kelly's 暗い／優うつな 予測s did not worry her. She took rather an impish delight in egging him on.
"Not if ye give him his own way. He'll sulk if ye don't. All the Prastes sulk if they don't get it. And he'll be that jealous—ye'll never dare spake to another man. Oh, the Prastes 支配する their wives. Old Aaron Praste made his wife go 負かす／撃墜する on her 膝s whenever she had a little favour to ask. Me feyther saw it wid his own 注目する，もくろむs."
"Mr. Kelly, do you really suppose any man could make me do that?"
Old Kelly's 注目する，もくろむs twinkled in spite of himself.
"The Murray 膝 jints do be a bit stiff for that," he 定評のある, "But there's other things. Do ye be after knowing that his Uncle Jim never spoke when he could grunt and always said 'Ye fool' to his wife when she conterdicted him."
"But perhaps she was a fool, Mr. Kelly."
"Mebbe. But was it polite? I lave it to ye. And his father threw the dinner dishes at his wife whin she made him mad. 'Tis a fact, I'm telling you. Though the old divil was amusing when he was pleased."
"That sort of thing always skips a 世代," said Emily. "And if not—I can dodge."
"Gurrl dear, there do be worse things than having a dish or two flung at ye. Ye 肉親，親類 dodge them. But there's things ye can't dodge. Tell me now, do ye know"—Old Kelly lowered his 発言する／表明する ominously—"that 'tis said the Prastes do often get tired av bein' married to the 病弱な woman."
Emily was 有罪の of giving Mr. Kelly one of the smiles Aunt Elizabeth had always disapproved of.
"Do you really think Dean will get tired of me? I'm not beautiful, dear Mr. Kelly, but I am very 利益／興味ing."
Old Kelly gathered up his lines with the 空気／公表する of a man who 降伏するs at discretion.
"井戸／弁護士席, gurrl dear, ye do be having a good mouth for kissing, anyway. I see ye're 始める，決める on it. But I do be thinking the Lord ーするつもりであるd ye for something different. Anyway, here's hoping we'll all make a good end. But he knows too much, that Jarback Praste, he's after knowing far too much."
Old Kelly drove off, waiting till he was decently out of earshot to mutter:
"Don't it bate hell? And him as 半端物-looking as a cross-注目する，もくろむd cat!"
Emily stood still for a few minutes looking after Old Kelly's 退却／保養地ing chariot. He had 設立する the one 共同の in her armour and the thrust had struck home. A little 冷気／寒がらせる crept over her as if a 勝利，勝つd from the 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な had blown across her spirit. All at once an old, old story whispered long ago by 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Nancy to Caroline Priest flashed into her recollection. Dean, so it was said, had seen the 黒人／ボイコット 集まり celebrated.
Emily shook the recollection from her. That was all nonsense—silly, malicious, envious gossip of stay-at-homes. But Dean did know too much. He had 注目する，もくろむs that had seen too much. In a way that had been part of the 際立った fascination he had always had for Emily. But now it 脅すd her. Had she not always felt—did she not still feel—that he always seemed to be laughing at the world from some mysterious 見地 of inner knowledge—a knowledge she did not 株—could not 株—did not, to come 負かす／撃墜する to the 明らかにする bones of it, want to 株? He had lost some intangible, all-real zest of 約束 and idealism. It was there 深い in her heart—an inescapable 有罪の判決, thrust it out of sight as she might. For a moment she felt with Ilse that it was a decidedly devilish thing to be a woman.
"It serves me 権利 for bandying words with Old Jock Kelly on such a 支配する," she thought 怒って.
同意 was never given in 始める，決める 条件 to Emily's 約束／交戦. But the thing （機の）カム to be tacitly 受託するd. Dean was 井戸／弁護士席-to-do. The Priests had all the necessary traditions, 含むing that of a grandmother who had danced with the Prince of むちの跡s at the famous ball in Charlottetown. After all, there would be a 確かな 救済 in seeing Emily 安全に married.
"He won't take her far away from us," said Aunt Laura, who could have reconciled herself to almost anything for that. How could they lose the one 有望な, gay thing in that faded house?
"Tell Emily," wrote old Aunt Nancy, "that twins run in the Priest family."
But Aunt Elizabeth did not tell her.
Dr. Burnley, who had made the most fuss, gave in when he heard that Elizabeth Murray was 精密検査するing the chests of quilts in the attic of New Moon and that Laura was hemstitching （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する linen.
"Those whom Elizabeth Murray has joined together let no man put asunder," he said resignedly.
Aunt Laura cupped Emily's 直面する in her gentle 手渡すs and looked 深い into her 注目する，もくろむs. "God bless you, Emily, dear child."
"Very 中央の-Victorian," commented Emily to Dean. "But I liked it."
On one point Aunt Elizabeth was 毅然とした Emily should not be married until she was twenty. Dean, who had dreamed of an autumn wedding and a winter spent in a dreamy Japanese garden beyond the western sea, gave in with a bad grace. Emily, too, would have preferred an earlier bridal. In the 支援する of her mind, where she would not even ちらりと見ること at it, was the feeling that the sooner it was over and made irrevocable, the better.
Yet she was happy, as she told herself very often and very 心から. Perhaps there were dark moments when a disquieting thought 星／主役にするd her in the 直面する—it was but a 手足を不自由にする／（物事を）損なうd, broken-winged happiness—not the wild, 解放する／自由な-飛行機で行くing happiness she had dreamed of. But that, she reminded herself, was lost to her for ever.
One day Dean appeared before her with a 紅潮／摘発する of boyish excitement on his 直面する.
"Emily, I've been and gone and done something. Will you 認可する? Oh, Lord, what will I do if you don't 認可する."
"What is it you've done?"
"I've bought me a house."
"A house!"
"A house! I, Dean Priest, am a landed proprietor—owning a house, a garden and a spruce lot five acres in extent. I, who this morning hadn't a square インチ of earth to call my own. I, who all my life have been hungry to own a bit of land."
"What house have you bought, Dean?"
"Fred Clifford's house—at least the house he has always owned by a 合法的な quibble. Really our house—任命するd—foreordained for us since the 創立／基礎 of the world."
"The Disappointed House?"
"Oh, yes, that was your old 指名する for it. But it isn't going to be Disappointed any longer. That is—if—Emily, do you 認可する of what I've done?"
"認可する? You're 簡単に a darling, Dean. I've always loved that house. It's one of those houses you love the minute you see them. Some houses are like that, you know—十分な of 魔法. And others have nothing at all of it in them. I've always longed to see that house 実行するd. Oh—and somebody told me you were going to buy that big horrible house at Shrewsbury. I was afraid to ask if it were true."
"Emily, take 支援する those words. You knew it wasn't true. You knew me better. Of course, all the Priests 手配中の，お尋ね者 me to buy that house. My dear sister was almost in 涙／ほころびs because I wouldn't. It was to be had at a 取引—and it was such an elegant house."
"It is elegant—with all the word 暗示するs," agreed Emily. "But it's an impossible house—not because of its size or its elegance but just because of its impossibility."
"E-zackly. Any proper woman would feel the same. I'm so glad you're pleased, Emily. I had to buy Fred's house yesterday in Charlottetown—without waiting to 協議する you—another man was on the point of buying it, so I wired Fred 即時に. Of course, if you hadn't liked it I'd have sold it again. But I felt you would. We'll make such a home of it, dear. I want a home. I've had many habitations but no homes. I'll have it finished and 直す／買収する，八百長をするd up as beautifully as possible for you, 星／主役にする—my 星／主役にする who is fit to 向こうずね in the palaces of kings."
"Let's go 権利 up and look at it," said Emily. "I want to tell it what is coming to it. I want to tell it it is going to live at last."
"We'll go up and look at it and in it. I've got the 重要な. Got it from Fred's sister. Emily, I feel as if I'd reached up and plucked the moon."
"Oh, I've 選ぶd a lapful of 星／主役にするs," cried Emily gaily.
They went up to the Disappointed House—through the old orchard 十分な of columbines and along the To-morrow Road, across a pasture field, up a little slope of golden fern, and over an old meandering 盗品故買者 with its longers bleached to a silvery grey, with clusters of wild everlastings and blue asters in its corners, then up the little winding, capricious path on the long モミ hill, which was so 狭くする they had to walk singly and where the 空気／公表する always seemed so 十分な of nice whispery sounds.
When they （機の）カム to its end there was a sloping field before them, dotted with little, pointed モミs, 風の強い, grassy, lovable. And on 最高の，を越す of it, surrounded by hill glamour and upland wizardry, with 広大な／多数の／重要な sunset clouds heaped up over it, the house—their house.
A house with the mystery of 支持を得ようと努めるd behind it and around it, except on the south 味方する where the land fell away in a long hill looking 負かす／撃墜する on the Blair Water, that was like a bowl of dull gold now, and across it to meadows of starry 残り／休憩（する） beyond and the Derry Pond Hills that were as blue and romantic as the famous Alsatian Mountains. Between the house and the 見解（をとる）, but not hiding it, was a 列／漕ぐ／騒動 of wonderful Lombardy poplars.
They climbed the hill to the gate of a little enclosed garden—a garden far older than the house which had been built on the 場所／位置 of a little スピードを出す／記録につける cabin of 開拓する days.
"That's a 見解（をとる） I can live with," said Dean exultingly. "Oh, 'tis a dear place this. The hill is haunted by squirrels, Emily. And there are rabbits about. Don't you love squirrels and rabbits? And there are any number of shy violets hereabouts in spring, too. There is a little mossy hollow behind those young モミs that is 十分な of violets in May—violets,
Sweeter than lids of Emily's 注目する，もくろむs
Or Emily's breath.
Emily's a nicer 指名する than Cytherea or Juno, I think. I want you to notice 特に that little gate over yonder. It isn't really needed. It opens only into that froggy 沼 beyond the 支持を得ようと努めるd. But isn't it a gate? I love a gate like that—a reasonless gate. It's 十分な of 約束. There may be something wonderful beyond. A gate is always a mystery, anyhow—it 誘惑するs—it is a symbol. And listen to that bell （犯罪の）一味ing somewhere in the twilight across the harbour. A bell in twilight always has a 魔法 sound—as if it （機の）カム from somewhere 'far far in fairyland.' There are roses in that far corner—old-fashioned roses like 甘い old songs 始める，決める to flowering. Roses white enough to 嘘（をつく） in your white bosom, my 甘い, roses red enough to 星／主役にする that soft dark cloud of your hair. Emily, do you know I'm a little drunk to-night—on the ワイン of life. Don't wonder if I say crazy things."
Emily was very happy. The old, 甘い garden seemed to be talking to her as a friend in the drowsy, winking light. She 降伏するd herself utterly to the charm of the place. She looked at the Disappointed House adoringly. Such a dear thoughtful little house. Not an old house—she liked it for that—an old house knew too much—was haunted by too many feet that had walked over its threshold—too many anguished or 情熱的な 注目する，もくろむs that had looked out of its windows. This house was ignorant and innocent like herself. Longing for happiness. It should have it. She and Dean would 運動 out the ghosts of things that never happened. How 甘い it would be to have a home of her very own.
"That house wants us as 不正に as we want it," she said.
"I love you when your トンs 軟化する and mute like that, 星／主役にする," said Dean. "Don't ever talk so to any other man, Emily."
Emily threw him a ちらりと見ること of coquetry that very nearly made him kiss her. He had never kissed her yet. Some subtle prescience always told him she was not yet ready to be kissed. He might have dared it there and then, in that hour of glamour that had transmuted everything into 条件 of romance and charm—he might even have won her wholly then. But he hesitated—and the 魔法 moment passed. From somewhere 負かす／撃墜する the 薄暗い road behind the spruces （機の）カム laughter. 害のない, innocent laughter of children. But it broke some faintly woven （一定の）期間.
"Let us go in and see our house," said Dean. He led the way across the wild-grown grasses to the door that opened into the living-room. The 重要な turned stiffly in the rusted lock. Dean took Emily's 手渡す and drew her in.
"Over your own threshold, 甘い—"
He 解除するd his flashlight and threw a circle of 転換ing light around the unfinished room, with its 明らかにする, 星／主役にするing, lathed 塀で囲むs, its 調印（する）d windows, its gaping doorways, its empty fireplace—no, not やめる empty. Emily saw a little heap of white ashes in it—the ashes of the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 she and Teddy had kindled years ago that adventurous summer evening of childhood—the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 by which they had sat and planned out their lives together. She turned to the door with a little shiver.
"Dean, it looks too ghostly and forlorn. I think I'd rather 調査する it by daylight. The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did."
It was Dean's suggestion that they spend the summer finishing and furnishing their house—doing everything possible themselves and 直す／買収する，八百長をするing it up 正確に／まさに as they 手配中の，お尋ね者 it.
"Then we can be married in the spring—spend the summer listening to 寺 bells tinkling over eastern sands—watch Philae by moonlight—hear the Nile moaning by Memphis—come 支援する in the autumn, turn the 重要な of our own door—be at home."
Emily thought the programme delightful. Her aunts were 疑わしい about it—it didn't seem やめる proper and respectable really—people would talk terribly. And Aunt Laura was worried over some old superstition that it wasn't lucky to furnish a house before a wedding. Dean and Emily didn't care whether it was respectable and lucky or not. They went ahead and did it.
自然に they were 圧倒するd with advice from every one in the Priest and Murray 一族／派閥s—and took 非，不，無 of it. For one thing, they wouldn't paint the Disappointed House—just shingled it and left the shingles to turn woodsy grey, much to Aunt Elizabeth's horror.
"It's only Stovepipe Town houses that aren't painted," she said.
They 取って代わるd the old, 未使用の, 一時的な board steps, left by the carpenters thirty years before, with 幅の広い, red sandstones from the shore. Dean had casement windows put in with diamond 形態／調整d panes which Aunt Elizabeth 警告するd Emily would be terrible things to keep clean. And he 追加するd a dear little window over the 前線 door with a little roof over it like a shaggy eyebrow and in the living-room they had a French window from which you could step 権利 out into the モミ 支持を得ようと努めるd.
And Dean had jewels of closets and cupboards put in everywhere.
"I'm not such a fool as to imagine that a girl can keep on loving a man who doesn't 供給する her with proper cupboards," he 宣言するd.
Aunt Elizabeth 認可するd of the cupboards but thought they were clean daft in regard to the wallpapers. 特に the living-room paper. They should have had something cheerful there—flowers or gold （土地などの）細長い一片s; or even, as a 広大な 譲歩 to modernity, some of those "landscape papers" that were coming in. But Emily 主張するd on papering it with a shadowy grey paper with 雪の降る，雪の多い pine 支店s over it. Aunt Elizabeth 宣言するd she would as soon live in the 支持を得ようと努めるd as in such a room. But Emily in this 尊敬（する）・点, as in all others 関心ing her own dear house, was "as pig-長，率いるd as ever," so exasperated Aunt Elizabeth averred, やめる unconscious that a Murray was borrowing one of Old Kelly's 表現s.
But Aunt Elizabeth was really very good. She dug up, out of long undisturbed boxes and chests, 磁器 and silver belonging to her stepmother—the things Juliet Murray would have had if she had married in 正統派の fashion a husband 認可するd of her 一族／派閥—and gave them to Emily. There were some lovely things の中で them—特に a priceless pink lustre jug and a delightful old dinner-始める，決める of real willow-ware—Emily's grandmother's own wedding-始める，決める. Not a piece was 行方不明の. And it had shallow thin cups and 深い saucers and scalloped plates and 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, fat, pobby tureens. Emily filled the built-in 閣僚 in the living-room with it and gloated over it. There were other things she loved too; a little gilt-でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れるd oval mirror with a 黒人／ボイコット cat on 最高の，を越す of it, a mirror that had so often 反映するd beautiful women that it lent a 確かな charm to every 直面する; and an old clock with a pointed 最高の，を越す and two tiny gilded spires on each 味方する, a clock that gave 警告 ten minutes before it struck, a gentlemanly clock never taking people unawares. Dean 負傷させる it up but would not start it.
"When we come home—when I bring you in here as bride and queen, you shall start it going," he said.
It turned out, too, that the Chippendale sideboard and the claw-footed mahogany （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する at New Moon were Emily's. And Dean had no end of quaint delightful things 選ぶd up all over the world—a sofa covered with （土地などの）細長い一片d silk that had been in the Salon of a Marquise of the Old 政権, a lantern of wrought-アイロンをかける lace from an old Venetian palace to hang in the living-room, a Shiraz rug, a 祈り-rug from Damascus, 厚かましさ／高級将校連 andirons from Italy, jades and ivories from 中国, lacquer bowls from Japan, a delightful little green フクロウ in Japanese 磁器, a painted Chinese perfume-瓶／封じ込める of agate which he had 設立する in some weird place in Mongolia, with the perfume of the east—which is never the perfume of the west—粘着するing to it, a Chinese teapot with dreadful golden dragons coiling over it—five-clawed dragons whereby the 始めるd knew that it was of the 皇室の 閣僚s. It was part of the 略奪する of the Summer Palace in the Boxer 反乱, Dean told Emily, but he would not tell her how it had come into his 所有／入手.
"Not yet. Some day. There's a story about almost everything I've put in this house."
They had a 広大な／多数の／重要な day putting the furniture in the living-room. They tried it in a dozen different places and were not 満足させるd until they had 設立する the 絶対 権利 one. いつかs they could not agree about it and then they would sit on the 床に打ち倒す and argue it out. And if they couldn't settle it they got Daffy to pull straws with his teeth and decide it that way. Daffy was always around. Saucy Sal had died of old age and Daffy was getting stiff and a bit cranky and snored dreadfully when he was sleeping, but Emily adored him and would not go to the Disappointed House without him. He always slipped up the hill path beside her like a grey 影をつくる／尾行する dappled with dark.
"You love that old cat more than you do me, Emily," Dean once said—jestingly yet with an undernote of earnest.
"I have to love him," defended Emily. "He's growing old. You have all the years before us. And I must always have a cat about. A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail 倍のd about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion. And you must have a dog."
"I've never cared to have a dog since Tweed died. But perhaps I'll get one—an altogether different 肉親，親類d of a one. We'll need a dog to keep your cats in order. Oh, isn't it nice to feel that a place belongs to you?"
"It's far nicer to feel that you belong to a place," said Emily, looking about her affectionately.
"Our house and we are going to be good friends," agreed Dean.
They hung their pictures one day. Emily brought her favourites up, 含むing the Lady Giovanna and Mona Lisa. These two were hung in the corner between the windows.
"Where your 令状ing-desk will be," said Dean. "And Mona Lisa will whisper to you the ageless secret of her smile and you shall put it in a story."
"I thought you didn't want me to 令状 any more stories," said Emily. "You've never seemed to like the fact of my 令状ing."
"That was when I was afraid it would take you away from me. Now, it doesn't 事柄. I want you to do just as pleases you."
Emily felt indifferent. She had never cared to （問題を）取り上げる her pen since her illness. As the days passed she felt a growing distaste to the thought of ever taking it up. To think of it meant to think of the 調書をとる／予約する she had 燃やすd; and that 傷つける beyond 耐えるing. She had 中止するd to listen for her "無作為の word"—she was an 追放する from her old starry kingdom.
"I'm going to hang old Elizabeth Bas by the fireplace," said Dean. "'Engraving from a portrait by Rembrandt.' Isn't she a delightful old woman, 星／主役にする, in her white cap and tremendous white ruff collar? And did you ever see such a shrewd, humorous, complacent, わずかに contemptuous old 直面する?"
"I don't think I should want to have an argument with Elizabeth," 反映するd Emily. "One feels that she is keeping her 手渡すs 倍のd under compulsion and might box your ears if you 同意しないd with her."
"She has been dust for over a century," said Dean dreamily. "Yet here she is living on this cheap reprint of Rembrandt's canvas. You are 推定する／予想するing her to speak to you. And I feel, as you do, that she wouldn't put up with any nonsense."
"But likely she has a sweetmeat 蓄える／店d away in some pocket of her gown for you. That 罰金, rosy, wholesome old woman. She 支配するd her family—not a 疑問 of it. Her husband did as she told him—but never knew it."
"Had she a husband?" said Dean doubtfully. "There's no wedding-（犯罪の）一味 on her finger."
"Then she must have been a most delightful old maid," averred Emily.
"What a difference between her smile and Mona Lisa's," said Dean, looking from one to the other. "Elizabeth is 許容するing things—with just a hint of a sly, meditative cat about her. But Mona Lisa's 直面する has that everlasting 誘惑する and 誘発 that 運動s men mad and 令状s scarlet pages on 薄暗い historical 記録，記録的な／記録するs. La Gioconda would be a more 刺激するing sweetheart. But Elizabeth would be nicer for an aunt."
Dean hung a little old miniature of his mother up over the mantelpiece. Emily had never seen it before. Dean Priest's mother had been a beautiful woman.
"But why does she look so sad?"
"Because she was married to a Priest," said Dean.
"Will I look sad?" teased Emily.
"Not if it 残り／休憩（する）s with me," said Dean.
But did it? いつかs that question 軍隊d itself on Emily, but she would not answer it. She was very happy two-thirds of that summer—which she told herself was a high 普通の／平均（する）. But in the other third were hours of which she never spoke to any one—hours in which her soul felt caught in a 罠（にかける）—hours when the 広大な／多数の／重要な, green emerald winking on her finger seemed like a fetter. And once she even took it off just to feel 解放する／自由な for a little while—a 一時的な escape for which she was sorry and ashamed the next day, when she was やめる sane and normal again, contented with her lot and more 利益／興味d than ever in her little grey house, which meant so much to her—"more to me than Dean does," she said to herself once in a three-o'clock moment of stark, despairing honesty; and then 辞退するd to believe it next morning.
Old 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Nancy of Priest Pond died that summer, very suddenly. "I'm tired of living. I think I'll stop," she said one day—and stopped. 非，不，無 of the Murrays 利益d by her will; everything she had was left to Caroline Priest; but Emily got the gazing-ball and the 厚かましさ／高級将校連 chessy-cat knocker and the gold ear-（犯罪の）一味s—and the picture Teddy had done of her in water-colours years ago. Emily put the chessy-cat on the 前線 porch door of the Disappointed House and hung the 広大な／多数の／重要な silvery gazing-ball from the Venetian lantern and wore the quaint old ear-（犯罪の）一味s to many rather delightful pomps and vanities. But she put the picture away in a box in the New Moon attic—a box that held 確かな 甘い, old, foolish letters 十分な of dreams and 計画（する）s.
They had glorious minutes of fun when they stopped to 残り／休憩（する） occasionally. There was a コマドリ's nest in the モミ at the north corner which they watched and 保護するd from Daffy.
"Think of the music penned in this 壊れやすい, pale blue 塀で囲む," said Dean, touching an egg one day. "Not the music of the moon perhaps, but an earthlier, homelier music, 十分な of wholesome sweetness and the joy of living. This egg will some day be a コマドリ, 星／主役にする, to whistle us blithely home in the afterlight."
They made friends with an old rabbit that often （機の）カム hopping out of the 支持を得ようと努めるd into the garden. They had a game as to who could count the most squirrels in the daytime and the most bats in the evening. For they did not always go home as soon as it got too dark to work. いつかs they sat out on their sandstone steps listening to the melancholy loveliness of night-勝利，勝つd on the sea and watching the twilight creep up from the old valley and the 影をつくる／尾行するs waver and flicker under the モミ-trees and the Blair Water turning to a 広大な／多数の／重要な grey pool tremulous with 早期に 星／主役にするs. Daff sat beside them, watching everything with his 広大な／多数の／重要な moonlight 注目する，もくろむs, and Emily pulled his ears now and then.
"One understands a cat a little better now. At all other times he is inscrutable, but in the time of dusk and dew we can catch a glimpse of the tantalizing secret of his personality."
"One catches a glimpse of all 肉親，親類d of secrets now," said Dean. "On a night like this I always think of the 'hills where spices grow.' That line of the old hymn Mother used to sing has always intrigued me—though I can't '飛行機で行く like a youthful hart or 魚の卵.' Emily, I can see that you are getting your mouth in the proper 形態／調整 to talk about the colour we'll paint the woodshed. Don't you do it. No one should talk paint when she's 推定する／予想するing a moonrise. There'll be a wonderful one presently—I've arranged for it. But if we must talk of furniture let's 計画（する） for a few things we 港／避難所't got yet and must have—a canoe for our boating trips along the 乳の Way, for instance—a ぼんやり現れる for the weaving of dreams and a jar of pixy-brew for festal hours. And can't we arrange to have the spring of Ponce de Leon over in that corner? Or would you prefer a fount of Castaly? As for your trousseau, have what you like in it but there must be a gown of grey twilight with an evening 星／主役にする for your hair. Also one trimmed with moonlight and a scarf of sunset cloud."
Oh, she liked Dean. How she liked him. If she could only love him!
One evening she slipped up alone to see her little house by moonlight. What a dear place it was. She saw herself there in the 未来—flitting through the little rooms—laughing under the モミs—sitting 手渡す in 手渡す with Teddy at the fireplace—Emily （機の）カム to herself with a shock. With Dean, of course, with Dean. A mere trick of the memory.
There （機の）カム a September evening when everything was done—even to the horseshoe over the door to keep the witches out—even to the candles Emily had stuck all about the living-room—a little, jolly, yellow candle—a 十分な, red, pugnacious candle—a dreamy, pale blue candle—a graceless candle with エースs of hearts and diamonds all over it—a わずかな／ほっそりした, dandyish candle.
And the result was good. There was a sense of harmony in the house. The things in it did not have to become 熟知させるd but were good friends from the very start. They did not shriek at each other. There was not a noisy room in the house.
"There's 絶対 nothing more we can do," sighed Emily. "We can't even pretend there's anything more to do."
"I suppose not," agreed Dean 残念に. Then he looked at the fireplace where kindlings and pinewood were laid.
"Yes, there is," he cried. "How could we have forgotten it? We've got to see if the chimney will draw 適切に. I'm going to light that 解雇する／砲火／射撃."
Emily sat 負かす／撃墜する on the settee in the corner and when the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 began to 燃やす Dean （機の）カム and sat beside her. Daffy lay stretched out at their feet, his little （土地などの）細長い一片d 側面に位置するs moving 平和的に up and 負かす／撃墜する.
Up 炎d the merry 炎上s. They shimmered over the old piano—they played irreverent hide-and-捜し出す with Elizabeth Bas' adorable old 直面する—they danced on the glass doors of the cupboard where the willow-ware dishes were; they darted through the kitchen door and the 列／漕ぐ／騒動 of brown and blue bowls Emily had 範囲d on the dresser winked 支援する at them.
"This is home," said Dean softly. "It's lovelier than I've ever dreamed of its 存在. This is how we'll sit on autumn evenings all our lives, shutting out the 冷淡な misty nights that come in from the sea—just you and I alone with the firelight and the sweetness. But いつかs we'll let a friend come in and 株 it—sip of our joy and drink of our laughter. We'll just sit here and think about it all—till the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 燃やすs out."
The 解雇する／砲火／射撃 crackled and snapped. Daffy purred. The moon shone 負かす／撃墜する through the dance of the モミ-boughs straight on them through the windows. And Emily was thinking—could not help thinking—of the time she and Teddy had sat there. The 半端物 part was that she did not think of him longingly or lovingly. She just thought of him. Would she, she asked herself, in mingled exasperation and dread, find herself thinking of Teddy when she was standing up to be married to Dean?
When the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 had died 負かす／撃墜する into white ashes Dean got up.
"It was 価値（がある） while to have lived long dreary years for this—and to live them again, if need be, looking 支援する to it," he said, 持つ／拘留するing out his 手渡す. He drew her nearer. What ghost （機の）カム between the lips that might have met? Emily turned away with a sigh.
"Our happy summer is over, Dean."
"Our first happy summer," 訂正するd Dean. But his 発言する／表明する suddenly sounded a little tired.
They locked the door of the Disappointed House one November evening and Dean gave the 重要な to Emily.
"Keep it till spring," he said, looking out over the 静かな, 冷淡な, grey fields across which a chilly 勝利，勝つd was blowing. "We won't come 支援する here till then."
In the 嵐の winter that followed, the cross-lots path to the little house was so heaped with drifts that Emily never went 近づく it. But she thought about it often and happily, waiting まっただ中に its snows for spring and life and fulfilment. That winter was, on the whole, a happy time. Dean did not go away and made himself so charming to the older ladies of New Moon that they almost forgave him for 存在 Jarback Priest. To be sure, Aunt Elizabeth never could understand more than half of his 発言／述べるs and Aunt Laura put 負かす／撃墜する to his debit account the change in Emily. For she was changed. Cousin Jimmy and Aunt Laura knew that, though no one else seemed to notice it. Often there was an 半端物 restlessness in her 注目する，もくろむs. And something was 行方不明の from her laughter. It was not so quick—so spontaneous as of old. She was a woman before her time, thought Aunt Laura with a sigh. Was that dreadful 落ちる 負かす／撃墜する the New Moon stairs the only 原因（となる）? Was Emily happy? Laura dared not ask. Did she love Dean Priest whom she was going to marry in June? Laura did not know; but she did know that love is something that cannot be 生成するd by any 知識人 支配する o' thumb. Also that a girl who is as happy as an engaged girl should be does not spend so many hours when she should be sleeping, pacing up and 負かす／撃墜する her room. This was not to be explained away on the ground that Emily was thinking out stories, Emily had given up 令状ing. In vain 行方不明になる 王室の wrote pleading and scolding letters from New York. In vain Cousin Jimmy slyly laid a new Jimmy-調書をとる／予約する at intervals on her desk. In vain Laura timidly hinted that it was a pity not to keep on when you had made such a good start. Even Aunt Elizabeth's contemptuous 主張 that she had always known Emily would get tired of it—"the Starr fickleness, you see"—failed to sting Emily 支援する to her pen. She could not 令状—she would never try to 令状 again.
"I've paid my 負債s and I've enough in the bank to get what Dean calls my wedding doo-dabs. And you've crocheted two filet spreads for me," she told Aunt Laura a little wearily and 激しく. "So what does it 事柄?"
"Was it—your 落ちる that took away your—your ambition?" 滞るd poor Aunt Laura, 発言する／表明するing what had been her haunting dread all winter.
Emily smiled and kissed her.
"No, darling. That had nothing to do with it. Why worry over a simple, natural thing? Here I am, going to be married, with a 見込みのある house and husband to think about. Doesn't that explain why I've 中止するd to care about—other things?"
It should have, but that evening Emily went out of the house after sunset. Her soul was pining for freedom and she went out to slip its leash for a little while. It had been an April day, warm in the sun, 冷淡な in the 影をつくる／尾行する. You felt the coldness even まっただ中に the sunlight warmth. The evening was 冷気／寒がらせる. The sky was 曇った with wrinkled, grey clouds, save along the west where a （土地などの）細長い一片 of yellow sky gleamed palely and in it, sad and fair, a new moon setting behind a dark hill. No living creature but herself seemed abroad and the 冷淡な 影をつくる／尾行するs settling 負かす／撃墜する over the withered fields lent to the landscape of too-早期に spring an 面 inexpressibly dreary and mournful. It made Emily feel hopeless, as if the best of life already lay in the past. 外部のs always had a 広大な／多数の／重要な 影響（力） upon her—too 広大な／多数の／重要な perhaps. Yet she was glad it was a dour evening. Anything else would have 侮辱d her mood. She heard the sea shuddering beyond the dunes. An old 詩（を作る） from one of Roberts' poems （機の）カム into her 長，率いる:
Grey 激しく揺するs and greyer sea.
And surf along the shore,
And in my heart a 指名する
My lips shall speak no more.
Nonsense! Weak, silly, sentimental nonsense. No more of it!
But that letter from Ilse that day. Teddy was coming home. He was to sail on the Flavian. He was going to be home most of the summer.
"If it could only have been all over—before he （機の）カム," muttered Emily.
Always to be afraid of to-morrow? Content—even happy with to-day—but always afraid of tomorrow. Was this to be her life? And why that 恐れる of to-morrow?
She had brought the 重要な of the Disapppinted House with her. She had not been in it since November and she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to see it—beautiful, waiting, 望ましい. Her home. In its charm and sanity vague, horrible 恐れるs and 疑問s would 消える. The soul of that happy last summer would come 支援する to her. She paused at the garden gate to look lovingly at it—the dear little house nestled under the old trees that sighed softly as they had sighed to her childhood 見通しs. Below, Blair Water was grey and sullen. She loved Blair Water in all its changes—its sparkle of summer, its silver of dusk, its 奇蹟 of moonlight, its dimpled （犯罪の）一味s of rain. And she loved it now, dark and brooding. There was somehow a piercing sadness in that sullen, waiting landscape all around her—as if—the 半端物 fancy crossed her mind—as if it were afraid of spring. How this idea of 恐れる haunted her! She looked up beyond the spires of the Lombardies on the hill. And in a sudden pale 不和 between the clouds a 星／主役にする shone 負かす／撃墜する on her—Vega of the Lyre.
With a shiver Emily hurriedly 打ち明けるd the door and stepped in. The house seemed to be 空いている—waiting for her. She fumbled through the 不明瞭 to the matches she knew were on the mantelpiece and lighted the tall, pale-green 次第に減少する beside the clock. The beautiful room 微光d out at her in the flickering light—just as they had left it that last evening. There was Elizabeth Bas, who could never have known the meaning of 恐れる—Mona Lisa, who mocked at it. But the Lady Giovanna, who never turned her saintly profile to look squarely at you. Had she ever known it—this subtle, secret 恐れる that one could never put in words?—that would be so ridiculous if one could put it in words? Dean Priest's sad lovely mother. Yes, she had known 恐れる; it looked out of her pictured 注目する，もくろむs now in that 薄暗い, furtive light.
Emily shut the door and sat 負かす／撃墜する in the armchair beneath Elizabeth Bas' picture. She could hear the dead, 乾燥した，日照りの leaves of a dead summer rustling eerily on the beech just outside the window. And the 勝利，勝つd—rising—rising—rising. But she liked it. "The 勝利，勝つd is 解放する／自由な—not a 囚人 like me." She 鎮圧するd the unbidden thought 負かす／撃墜する 厳しく. She would not think such things. Her fetters were of her own (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むing. She had put them on willingly, even desirously. Nothing to do but wear them gracefully.
How the sea moaned 負かす／撃墜する there below the fields! But here in the little house what a silence there was! Something strange and uncanny about the silence. It seemed to 持つ／拘留する some 深遠な meaning. She would not have dared to speak lest something should answer her. Yet 恐れる suddenly left her. She felt dreamy—happy—far away from life and reality. The 塀で囲むs of the shadowy room seemed slowly to fade from her 見通し. The pictures withdrew themselves. There seemed to be nothing before her but 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt-Nancy's gazing-ball hung from the old アイロンをかける lantern—a big, silvery, gleaming globe. In it she saw the 反映するd room, like a 向こうずねing doll's-house, with herself sitting in the old, low 議長，司会を務める and the 次第に減少する on the mantelpiece like a tiny, impish 星／主役にする. Emily looked at it as she leaned 支援する in her 議長，司会を務める—looked at it till she saw nothing but that tiny point of light in a 広大な／多数の／重要な misty universe.
Did she sleep? Dream? Who knows? Emily herself never knew. Twice before in her life—once in delirium*—once in sleep** she had drawn aside the 隠す of sense and time and seen beyond. Emily never liked to remember those experiences. She forgot them deliberately. She had not 解任するd them for years. A dream—a fancy fever-bred. But this?
* See Emily of New Moon. ** See Emily Climbs.
A small cloud seemed to 形態／調整 itself within the gazing-ball. It 分散させるd—faded. But the 反映するd doll's-house in the ball was gone. Emily saw an 完全に different scene—a long lofty room filled with streams of hurrying people—and の中で them a 直面する she knew.
The gazing-ball was gone—the room in the Disappointed House was gone. She was no longer sitting in her 議長，司会を務める looking on. She was in that strange, 広大な／多数の／重要な room—she was の中で those throngs of people—she was standing by the man who was waiting impatiently before a ticket-window. As he turned his 直面する and their 注目する，もくろむs met she saw that it was Teddy—she saw the amazed 承認 in his 注目する，もくろむs. And she knew, indisputably that he was in some terrible danger—and that she must save him.
"Teddy. Come."
It seemed to her that she caught his 手渡す and pulled him away from the window. Then she was drifting 支援する from him—支援する—支援する—and he was に引き続いて—running after her—heedless of the people he ran into—に引き続いて—に引き続いて—she was 支援する on the 議長，司会を務める—outside of the gazing-ball—in it she still saw the 駅／配置する-room shrunk again to play-size—and that one 人物／姿／数字 running—still running—the cloud again—filling the ball—whitening—wavering—thinning—（疑いを）晴らすing. Emily was lying 支援する in her 議長，司会を務める 星／主役にするing fixedly into Aunt Nancy's gazing-ball, where the living-room was 反映するd calmly and silverly, with a dead-white 位置／汚点／見つけ出す that was her 直面する and one 独房監禁 次第に減少する-light twinkling like an impish 星／主役にする.
Emily, feeling as if she had died and come 支援する to life, got herself out of the Disappointed House somehow, and locked the door. The clouds had （疑いを）晴らすd away and the world was 薄暗い and unreal in starlight. Hardly realizing what she was doing she turned her 直面する seaward through the spruce 支持を得ようと努めるd—負かす／撃墜する the long, 風の強い, pasture-field—over the dunes to the sandshore—along it like a haunted, driven creature in a weird, uncanny half-lit kingdom. The sea afar out was like grey satin half hidden in a creeping 霧 but it washed against the sands as she passed in little swishing, mocking ripples. She was shut in between the misty sea and the high, dark sand-dunes. If she could only go on so forever—never have to turn 支援する and 直面する the unanswerable question the night had put to her.
She knew, beyond any 疑問 or cavil or mockery that she had seen Teddy—had saved, or tried to save him, from some unknown 危険，危なくする. And she knew, just as 簡単に and just as surely that she loved him—had always loved him, with a love that lay at the very 創立／基礎 of her 存在.
And in two months' time she was to be married to Dean Priest.
What could she do? To marry him now was 考えられない. She could not live such a 嘘（をつく）. But to break his heart—snatch from him all the happiness possible to his 妨害するd life—that, too, was 考えられない.
Yes, as Ilse had said, it was a very devilish thing to be a woman.
"特に," said Emily, filled with bitter self-contempt, "a woman who seemingly doesn't know her own mind for a month at a time. I was so sure last summer that Teddy no longer meant anything to me—so sure that I really cared enough for Dean to marry him. And now to-night—and that horrible 力／強力にする or gift or 悪口を言う／悪態 coming again when I thought I had outgrown it—left it behind forever."
Emily walked on that eerie sandshore half the night and slipped guiltily and stealthily into New Moon in the 少しの sma's to fling herself on her bed and 落ちる at last into the 絶対の slumber of exhaustion.
A very 恐ろしい time followed. Fortunately Dean was away, having gone to Montreal on 商売／仕事. It was during his absence that the world was horrified by the 悲劇 of the Flavian's 致命的な 衝突／不一致 with an iceberg. The headlines struck Emily in the 直面する like a blow, Teddy was to have sailed on the Flavian—Had he—had he? Who could tell her? Perhaps his mother—his queer, 独房監禁 mother who hated her with a 憎悪 that Emily always felt like a 有形の thing between them. Hitherto Emily would have shrunk unspeakably from 捜し出すing Mrs. Kent. Now nothing 事柄d except finding out if Teddy were on the Flavian. She hurried to the Tansy Patch. Mrs Kent （機の）カム to the door—unaltered in all the years since Emily had first known her—frail, furtive, with her bitter mouth and that disfiguring red scar across her paleness. Her 直面する changed as it always did when she saw Emily. 敵意 and 恐れる 競うd in her dark, melancholy 注目する，もくろむs.
"Did Teddy sail on the Flavian?" 需要・要求するd Emily without circumlocution.
Mrs. Kent smiled—an unfriendly little smile.
"Does it 事柄 to you?" she said.
"Yes." Emily was very blunt. The "Murray" look was on her 直面する—the look few people could 遭遇（する） undefeatedly. "If you know—tell me."
Mrs. Kent told her, unwillingly, hating her, shaking like a little dead leaf quivering with a 外見 of life in a cruel 勝利，勝つd.
"He did not. I had a cable from him to-day. At the last moment he was 妨げるd from sailing."
"Thank you." Emily turned away, but not before Mrs. Kent had seen the joy and 勝利 that had leaped into her shadowy 注目する，もくろむs. She sprang 今後 and caught Emily's arm.
"It is nothing to you," she cried wildly. "Nothing to you whether he is 安全な or not. You are going to marry another man. How dare you come here—需要・要求するing to know of my son—as if you had a 権利?"
Emily looked 負かす／撃墜する at her pityingly, understandingly. This poor creature whose jealousy, coiled in her soul like a snake, had made life a vale of torment for her.
"No 権利 perhaps—except the 権利 of loving him," she said.
Mrs. Kent struck her 手渡すs together wildly.
"You—you dare to say that—you who are to marry another man?"
"I am not going to marry another man," Emily 設立する herself 説. It was やめる true. For days she had not known what to do—now やめる unmistakably she knew what she must do. Dreadful as it would be, still something that must be done. Everything was suddenly （疑いを）晴らす and bitter and 必然的な before her.
"I cannot marry another man, Mrs. Kent, because I love Teddy. But he does not love me. I know that やめる 井戸／弁護士席. So you need not hate me any longer."
She turned and went 速く away from the Tansy Patch. Where was her pride, she wondered the pride of "the proud Murrays"—that she could so calmly 認める an unsought, unwanted love. But pride just then had no place in her.
When the letter （機の）カム from Teddy—the first letter for so long—Emily's 手渡す trembled so that she could hardly open it.
"I must tell you of a strange thing that has happened," he wrote. "Perhaps you know it already. And perhaps you know nothing and will think me やめる mad. I don't know what to think of it myself. I know only what I saw—or thought I saw.
"I was waiting to buy my ticket for the boat-train to Liverpool—I was to sail on the Flavian. Suddenly I felt a touch on my arm—I turned and saw you. I 断言する it. You said, 'Teddy—come.' I was so amazed I could not think or speak. I could only follow you. You were running—no, not running. I don't know how you went—I only knew that you were 退却／保養地ing. How rotten this all sounds. Was I crazy? And all at once you weren't there—though we were by now away from the （人が）群がる in an open space where nothing could have 妨げるd me from seeing you. Yet I looked everywhere—and （機の）カム to my senses to realize that the boat-train had gone and I had lost my passage on the Flavian. I was furious—ashamed—until the news （機の）カム. Then—I felt my scalp crinkle.
"Emily—you're not in England? It can't be possible you are in England. But then—what was it I saw in that 駅／配置する?
"Anyhow, I suppose it saved my life. If I had gone on the Flavian—井戸／弁護士席, I didn't. Thanks to—what?
"I'll be home soon. Will sail on the Moravian—if you don't 妨げる me again. Emily, I heard a queer story of you long ago—something about Ilse's mother. I've almost forgotten. Take care. They don't 燃やす witches nowadays, of course—but still—"
No, they didn't 燃やす witches. But still—Emily felt that she could have more easily 直面するd the 火刑／賭ける than what was before her.
Emily went up the hill path to keep tryst with Dean at the Disappointed House. She had had a 公式文書，認める from him that day, written on his return from Montreal, asking her to 会合，会う him there at dusk. He was waiting for her on the doorstep—熱望して, happily. The コマドリs were whistling softly in the モミ copse and the evening was fragrant with the 強い味 of balsam. But the 空気／公表する all about them was filled with the strangest, saddest, most unforgettable sound in nature—the soft, ceaseless wash on a distant shore on a still evening of the breakers of a spent 嵐／襲撃する. A sound rarely heard and always to be remembered. It is even more mournful than the rain-勝利，勝つd of night—the heart-break and despair of all 創造 is in it. Dean took a quick step 今後 to 会合，会う her—then stopped 突然の. Her 直面する—her 注目する，もくろむs—what had happened to Emily in his absence? This was not Emily—this strange, white, remote girl of the pale twilight.
"Emily—what is it?" asked Dean—knowing before she told him.
Emily looked at him. If you had to 取引，協定 a mortal blow why try to lighten it?
"I can't marry you after all, Dean," she said. "I don't love you."
That was all she could say. No excuses—no self-defence. There was 非，不，無 she could make. But it was shocking to see all the happiness wiped out of a human 直面する like that.
There was a little pause—a pause that seemed an eternity with that unbearable 悲しみ of the sea throbbing through it. Then Dean said still 静かに:
"I knew you didn't love me. Yet you were—content to marry me—before this. What has made it impossible?"
It was his 権利 to know. Emily つまずくd through her silly, incredible tale.
"You see," she 結論するd miserably, "when—I can call like that to him across space—I belong to him. He doesn't love me—he never will—but I belong to him...Oh, Dean, don't look so. I had to tell you this—but if you wish it—I will marry you—only I felt you must know the whole truth—when I knew it myself."
"Oh, a Murray of New Moon always keeps her word." Dean's 直面する 新たな展開d mockingly. "You will marry me—if I want you to. But I don't want it—now. I see how impossible it is just as 明確に as you do. I will not marry a woman whose heart is another man's."
"Can you ever 許す me, Dean?"
"What is there to 許す? I can't help loving you and you can't help loving him. We must let it go at that. Even the gods can't unscramble eggs. I should have known that only 青年 could call to 青年—and I was never young. If I ever had been, even though I am old now, I might have held you."
He dropped his poor grey 直面する in his 手渡すs. Emily 設立する herself thinking what a nice, pleasant, friendly thing death would be.
But when Dean looked up again his 直面する had changed. It had the old, mocking, 冷笑的な look.
"Don't look so 悲劇の, Emily. A broken 約束／交戦 is a very slight thing nowadays. And it's an ill 勝利，勝つd that blows nobody good. Your aunts will thank whatever gods there be and my own 一族／派閥 will think that I have escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowler. Still—I rather wish that old Highland Scotch grandmother who passed that dangerous 染色体 負かす／撃墜する to you had taken her second sight to the 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な with her."
Emily put her 手渡すs against the little porch column and laid her 長，率いる against them. Dean's 直面する changed again as he looked at her. His 発言する／表明する when he spoke was very gentle—though 冷淡な and pale. All the brilliance and colour and warmth had gone from it.
"Emily, I give your life 支援する to you. It has been 地雷, remember, since I saved you that day on Malvern 激しく揺するs. It's your own again. And we must say good-bye at last—in spite of our old compact. Say it 簡潔に—'all 別れの（言葉，会）s should be sudden when forever.'"
Emily turned and caught at his arm.
"Oh, not good-bye, Dean—not good-bye. Can't we be friends still? I can't live without your friendship."
Dean took her 直面する in his 手渡すs—Emily's 冷淡な 直面する that he had once dreamed might 紅潮／摘発する against his kiss—and looked 厳粛に and tenderly into it.
"We can't be friends again, dear."
"Oh, you will forget—you will not always care—"
"A man must die to forget you, I think. No, 星／主役にする, we cannot be friends. You will not have my love and it has driven everything else out. I am going away. When I am old—really old—I will come 支援する and we will be friends again, perhaps."
"I can never 許す myself."
"Again I ask what for? I do not reproach you—I even thank you for this year. It has been a 王室の gift to me. Nothing can ever take it from me. After all, I would not give that last perfect summer of 地雷 for a 世代 of other men's happiness. My 星／主役にする—my 星／主役にする!"
Emily looked at him, the kiss she had never given him in her 注目する，もくろむs. What a lonely place the world would be when Dean was gone—the world that had all at once grown very old. And would she ever be able to forget his 注目する，もくろむs with that terrible 表現 of 苦痛 in them?
If he had gone then she would never have been やめる 解放する／自由な—always fettered by those piteous 注目する，もくろむs and the thought of the wrong she had done him. Perhaps Dean realized this, for there was a hint of some malign 勝利 in his parting smile as he turned away. He walked 負かす／撃墜する the path—he paused with his 手渡す on the gate—he turned and （機の）カム 支援する.
"Emily, I've something to 自白する, too. May 同様に get it off my 良心. A 嘘（をつく）—an ugly thing. I won you by a 嘘（をつく）, I think. Perhaps that is why I couldn't keep you."
"A 嘘（をつく）?"
"You remember that 調書をとる／予約する of yours? You asked me to tell you the truth about what I thought of it? I didn't. I lied. It is a good piece of work—very good. Oh, some faults in it of course—a bit emotional—a bit overstrained. You still need pruning—抑制. But it is good. It is out of the ordinary both in conception and 開発. It has charm and your characters do live. Natural, human, delightful. There, you know what I think of it now."
Emily 星／主役にするd at him, a hot 紅潮／摘発する suddenly staining the pallor of her 拷問d little 直面する.
"Good? And I 燃やすd it," she said in a whisper.
Dean started.
"You—燃やすd it!"
"Yes. And I can never 令状 it again. Why—why did you 嘘（をつく） to me? You?"
"Because I hated the 調書をとる／予約する. You were more 利益／興味d in it than in me. You would have 設立する a publisher 結局—and it would have been successful. You would have been lost to me. How ugly some 動機s look when you put them into words. And you 燃やすd it? It seems very idle to say I'm 激しく sorry for all this. Idle to ask your forgiveness."
Emily pulled herself together. Something had happened—she was really 解放する／自由な—解放する／自由な from 悔恨, shame, 悔いる. Her own woman once more. The balance hung level between them.
"I must not 持つ／拘留する a grudge against Dean for this—like old Hugh Murray," she thought confusedly. Aloud—"But I do—I do 許す it, Dean."
"Thank you." He looked up at the little grey house behind her. "So this is still to be the Disappointed House. Verily, there is a doom on it. Houses, like people, can't escape their doom, it seems."
Emily 回避するd her gaze from the little house she had loved—still loved. It would never be hers now. It was still to be haunted by the ghosts of things that never happened.
"Dean—here is the 重要な."
Dean shook his 長，率いる. "Keep it till I ask for it. What use would it be to me? The house can be sold, I suppose—though that seems like sacrilege."
There was still something more. Emily held out her left 手渡す with 回避するd 直面する. Dean must take off the emerald he had put on. She felt it drawn from her finger, leaving a little 冷淡な 禁止（する）d where it had warmed against her flesh, like a spectral circlet. It had often seemed to her like a fetter, but she felt sick with 悔いる when she realized it was gone—forever. For with it went something that had made life beautiful for years—Dean's wonderful friendship and companionship. To 行方不明になる that—forever. She had not known how bitter a thing freedom could be.
When Dean had limped out of sight Emily went home. There was nothing else to do. With her mocking 勝利 that Dean had at last 認める she could 令状.
If Emily's 約束／交戦 to Dean had made a commotion in the 一族／派閥s the breaking of it brewed a still wilder teapot tempest. The Priests were exultant and indignant at one and the same time, but the inconsistent Murrays were furious. Aunt Elizabeth had 刻々と disapproved of the 約束／交戦, but she disapproved still more 堅固に of its breaking. What would people think? And many things were said about "the Starr fickleness."
"Did you," 需要・要求するd Uncle Wallace sarcastically, "推定する／予想する that girl to remain in the same mind from one day to another?"
All the Murrays said things, によれば their separate flavour, but for some 推論する／理由 Andrew's dictum rankled with the keenest venom in Emily's bruised spirit. Andrew had 選ぶd up a word somewhere—he said Emily was "temperamental." Half the Murrays did not know just what it meant but they pounced on it 熱望して. Emily was "temperamental"—just that. It explained everything—henceforth it clung to her like a burr. If she wrote a poem—if she didn't like carrot pudding when everybody else in the 一族／派閥 did—if she wore her hair low when every one else was wearing it high—if she liked a 独房監禁 ramble over moonlit hills—if she looked some mornings as if she had not slept—if she took a notion to 熟考する／考慮する the 星／主役にするs through a field-glass—if it was whispered that she had been seen dancing alone by moonlight の中で the coils of a New Moon hayfield—if 涙／ほころびs （機の）カム into her 注目する，もくろむs at the mere glimpse of some beauty—if she loved a twilight tryst in the "old orchard" better than a dance in Shrewsbury—it was all because she was temperamental. Emily felt herself alone in a 敵意を持った world. Nobody, not even Aunt Laura, understood. Even Ilse wrote rather an 半端物 letter, every 宣告，判決 of which 否定するd some other 宣告，判決 and left Emily with a 汚い, 混乱させるd feeling that Ilse loved her as much as ever but thought her "temperamental" too. Could Ilse, by any chance, have 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd the fact that, as soon as Perry Miller heard that "everything was off" between Dean Priest and Emily Starr, he had come out to New Moon and again asked Emily to 約束 to marry him? Emily had made short work of him, after a fashion which made Perry 公約する disgustedly that he was done with the proud monkey. But then he had 公約するd that so many times before.
"MAY 4, 19—
"One o'clock is a somewhat unearthly hour to be 令状ing in a 定期刊行物. The truth is, I've been を受けるing a white night. I can't sleep and I'm tired of lying in the dark fancying things—unpleasant things—so I've lighted my candle and 追跡（する）d up my old diary to '令状 it out.'
"I've never written in this 定期刊行物 since the night I 燃やすd my 調書をとる／予約する and fell downstairs—and died. Coming 支援する to life to find everything changed and all things made new. And unfamiliar and dreadful. It seems a lifetime ago. As I turn over the pages and ちらりと見ること at those gay, light-hearted 入ること／参加（者）s I wonder if they were really written by me, Emily Byrd Starr.
"Night is beautiful when you are happy—慰安ing when you are in grief—terrible when you are lonely and unhappy. And to-night I have been horribly lonely. 悲惨 圧倒するd me. I seem never to be able to stop half-way in any emotion and when loneliness does 掴む 持つ／拘留する on me it takes 所有／入手 of me 団体／死体 and soul and wrings me in its blank 苦痛 until all strength and courage go out of me. To-night I am lonely—lonely. Love will not come to me—friendship is lost to me—most of all, as I verily feel, I cannot 令状. I have tried 繰り返して and failed. The old creative 解雇する／砲火／射撃 seems to have 燃やすd out into ashes and I cannot 再燃する it. All the evening I tried to 令状 a story—a 木造の thing in which 木造の puppets moved when I jerked the strings. I finally tore it into a thousand pieces and felt that I did God service.
"These past weeks have been bitter ones. Dean has gone—where I know not. He has never written—never will, I suppose. Not to be getting letters from Dean when he is away seems strange and unnatural.
"And yet it is terribly 甘い to be 解放する／自由な once more.
"Ilse 令状s me that she is to be home for July and August. Also that Teddy will be, too. Perhaps this latter fact partly accounts for my white night. I want to run away before he comes.
"I have never answered the letter he wrote me after the 沈むing of the Flavian. I could not. I could not 令状 of that. And if when he comes he speaks of it—I shall not be able to 耐える it. Will he guess that it is because I love him that I was able to 始める，決める at naught the 制限s of time and space to save him? I am ready to die of shame at thought of it. And at thought of what I said to Mrs. Kent. Yet somehow I have never been able to wish that unsaid. There was a strange 救済 in the stark honesty of it. I am not afraid she will ever tell him what I said. She would never have him know I cared if she could 妨げる it
"But I'd like to know how I am to get through the summer.
"There are times when I hate life. Other times again when I love it ひどく with an agonized 現実化 of how beautiful it is—or might be—if—
"Before Dean went away he boarded up all the windows of the Disappointed House. I never go where I can see it. But I do see it for all that. Waiting there on its hill—waiting—dumb—blind. I have never taken my things out of it—which Aunt Elizabeth thinks a sure 指示，表示する物 of insanity. And I don't think Dean did either. Nothing has been touched. Mona Lisa is still mocking in the gloom and Elizabeth Bas is tolerantly contemptuous of temperamental idiots and the Lady Giovanna understands it all. My dear little house! And it is never to be a home. I feel as I felt that evening years ago when I followed the rainbow—and lost it. 'There will be other rainbows' I said then. But will there be?"
"MAY 15, 19—
"This has been a lyric spring day—and a 奇蹟 has happened. It happened at 夜明け—when I was leaning out of my window, listening to a little, whispering, tricksy 勝利，勝つd o' morning blowing out of Lofty John's bush. Suddenly—the flash （機の）カム—again—after these long months of absence—my old, inexpressible glimpse of eternity. And all at once I knew I could 令状. I 急ぐd to my desk and 掴むd my pen. All the hours of 早期に morning I wrote; and when I heard Cousin Jimmy going downstairs I flung 負かす／撃墜する my pen and 屈服するd my 長，率いる over my desk in utter thankfulness that I could work again.
Get leave to work—
In this world 'tis the best you get at all,
For God in 悪口を言う／悪態ing gives us better gifts
Than men in benediction.
"So wrote Elizabeth Barrett Browning—and truly. It is hard to understand why work should be called a 悪口を言う／悪態—until one remembers what bitterness 軍隊d or uncongenial 労働 is. But the work for which we are fitted—which we feel we are sent into the world to do—what a blessing it is and what fulness of joy it 持つ／拘留するs. I felt this to-day as the old fever 燃やすd in my finger-tips and my pen once more seemed a friend.
"'Leave to work'—one would think any one could 得る so much. But いつかs anguish and heartbreak forbid us the leave. And then we realize what we have lost and know that it is better to be 悪口を言う／悪態d by God than forgotten by Him. If He had punished Adam and Eve by sending them out to idleness, then indeed they would have been outcast and accursed. Not all the dreams of Eden 'whence the four 広大な／多数の／重要な rivers flow' could have been as 甘い as those I am dreaming to-night, because the 力／強力にする to work has come 支援する to me.
"Oh, God, as long as I live give me 'leave to work.' Thus pray I. Leave and courage."
"MAY 25, 19—
"Dear 日光, what a potent 薬／医学 you are. All day I revelled in the loveliness of the wonderful white bridal world. And to-night I washed my soul 解放する／自由な from dust in the 空中の bath of a spring twilight. I chose the old hill road over the Delectable Mountain for its 孤独 and wandered happily along, pausing every few moments to think out fully some thought or fancy that （機の）カム to me like a winged spirit. Then I prowled about the hill fields till long after dark, 熟考する／考慮するing the 星／主役にするs with my field-glass. When I （機の）カム in I felt as if I had been millions of miles away in the blue ether and all my old familiar surroundings seemed momentarily forgotten and strange.
"But there was one 星／主役にする at which I did not look. Vega of the Lyre."
"MAY 30, 19—
"This evening, just when I was in the middle of a story Aunt Elizabeth said she 手配中の，お尋ね者 me to 少しのd the onion-bed. So I had to lay 負かす／撃墜する my pen and go out to the kitchen garden. But one can 少しのd onions and think wonderful things at the same time, glory be. It is one of the blessings that we don't always have to put our souls into what our 手渡すs may be doing, 賞賛する the gods—for さもなければ who would have any soul left? So I weeded the onion-bed and roamed the 乳の Way in imagination."
"JUNE 10, 19—
"Cousin Jimmy and I felt like 殺害者s last night. We were. Baby-殺し屋s at that!
"It is one of the springs when there is a 刈る of maple-trees. Every 重要な that fell from a maple this year seems to have grown. All over the lawn and garden and old orchard tiny maple-trees have sprung up by the hundreds. And of course they have to be rooted out. It would never do to let them grow. So we pulled them up all day yesterday and felt so mean and 有罪の over it. The dear, tiny, baby things. They have a 権利 to grow—a 権利 to keep on growing into 広大な／多数の／重要な, majestic, splendid trees. Who are we to 否定する it to them? I caught Cousin Jimmy in 涙／ほころびs over the 残虐な necessity.
"'I いつかs think,' he whispered, 'that it's wrong to 妨げる anything from growing. I never grew up—not in my 長，率いる.'
"And last night I had a horrible dream of 存在 追求するd by thousands of indignant young maple-tree ghosts. They （人が）群がるd around me—tripped me up—thrashed me with their boughs—smothered me with their leaves. And I woke gasping for breath and nearly 脅すd to death, but with a splendid idea for a story in my 長，率いる—The Vengeance of the Tree."
"JUNE 15, 19—
"I 選ぶd strawberries on the banks of Blair Water this afternoon の中で the 風の強い, 甘い-smelling grasses. I love 選ぶing strawberries. The 占領／職業 has in it something of perpetual 青年. The gods might have 選ぶd strawberries on high Olympus without 負傷させるing their dignity. A queen—or a poet—might stoop to it; a beggar has the 特権.
"And to-night I've been sitting here in my dear old room, with my dear 調書をとる／予約するs and dear pictures and dear little window of the kinky panes, dreaming in the soft, odorous summer twilight, while the コマドリs are calling to each other in Lofty John's bush and the poplars are talking eerily of old, forgotten things.
"After all, it's not a bad old world—and the folks in it are not half bad either. Even Emily Byrd 星／主役にする is decent in 位置／汚点／見つけ出すs. Not altogether the 誤った, fickle, ungrateful perversity she thinks she is in the 少しの sma's—not altogether the friendless, forgotten maiden she imagines she is on white nights—not altogether the 失敗 she supposes 激しく when three MSS. are 拒絶するd in succession. And not altogether the coward she feels herself to be when she thinks of Frederick Kent's coming to Blair Water in July."
Emily was reading by the window of her room when she heard it—reading Alice Meynell's strange poem, "Letter From A Girl To Her Own Old Age," and thrilling mystically to its strange prophecies. Outside dusk was 落ちるing over the old New Moon garden; and （疑いを）晴らす through the dusk （機の）カム the two high 公式文書，認めるs and the long low one of Teddy's old whistle in Lofty John's bush—the old, old call by which he had so often 召喚するd her in the twilights of long ago.
Emily's 調書をとる／予約する fell unheeded to the 床に打ち倒す. She stood up, もや-pale, her 注目する，もくろむs dilating into 不明瞭. Was Teddy there? He had not been 推定する／予想するd till the next week, though Ilse was coming that night. Could she have been mistaken? Could she have fancied it? Some chance コマドリ call—
It （機の）カム again. She knew as she had known at first that it was Teddy's whistle. There was no sound like it in the world. And it had been so long since she had heard it. He was there—waiting for her—calling for her. Should she go? She laughed under her breath. Go? She had no choice. She must go. Pride could not 持つ／拘留する her 支援する—bitter remembrance of the night she had waited for his call and it had not come could not 停止（させる） her hurrying footsteps. 恐れる—shame—all were forgotten in the mad ecstasy of the moment. Without giving herself time to 反映する that she was a Murray—only snatching a moment to look in the glass and 保証する herself that her ivory crepe dress was very becoming—how lucky it was that she had happened to put on that dress!—she flew 負かす／撃墜する the stairs and through the garden. He was standing under the dark glamour of the old モミs where the path ran through Lofty John's bush—bareheaded, smiling.
"Teddy."
"Emily."
Her 手渡すs were in his—her 注目する，もくろむs were 向こうずねing into his. 青年 had come 支援する—all that had once made 魔法 made it again. Together once more after all those long 疲れた／うんざりした years of alienation and 分離. There was no longer any shyness—any stiffness—any sense or 恐れる of change. They might have been children together again. But childhood had never known this wild, 謀反の sweetness—this unconsidered 降伏する. Oh, she was his. By a word—a look—an intonation, he was still her master. What 事柄 if, in some calmer mood, she might not やめる like it—to be helpless—支配するd like this? What 事柄 if to-morrow she might wish she had not run so quickly, so 熱望して, so unhesitatingly to 会合，会う him? To-night nothing 事柄d except that Teddy had come 支援する.
Yet, outwardly, they did not 会合，会う as lovers—only as old, dear friends. There was so much to talk of—so much to be silent over as they paced up and 負かす／撃墜する the garden walks, while the 星／主役にするs laughed through the dark at them—hinting—hinting—
Only one thing was not spoken of between them—the thing Emily had dreaded. Teddy made no 言及／関連 to the mystery of that 見通し in the London 駅／配置する. It was as if it had never been. Yet Emily felt that it had drawn them together again after long 誤解. It was 井戸／弁護士席 not to speak of it—it was one of those mystic things—one of the gods' secrets—that must not be spoken of. Best forgotten now that its work was done. And yet—so 不当な are we mortals!—Emily felt a ridiculous 失望 that he didn't speak of it. She didn't want him to speak of it. But if it had meant anything to him must he not have spoken of it?
"It's good to be here again," Teddy was 説. "Nothing seems changed here. Time has stood still in this Garden of Eden. Look, Emily, how 有望な Vega of the Lyre is. Our 星／主役にする. Have you forgotten it?"
Forgotten? How she had wished she could forget.
"They wrote me you were going to marry Dean," said Teddy 突然の.
"I meant to—but I couldn't," said Emily.
"Why not?" asked Teddy as if he had a perfect 権利 to ask it.
"Because I didn't love him," answered Emily, 譲歩するing his 権利.
Laughter—golden, delicious laughter that made you suddenly want to laugh too. Laughter was so 安全な—one could laugh without betraying anything. Ilse had come—Ilse was running 負かす／撃墜する the walk. Ilse in a yellow silk gown the colour of her hair and a golden-brown hat the colour of her 注目する，もくろむs, giving you the sensation that a gorgeous golden rose was 捕まらないで in the garden.
Emily almost welcomed her. The moment had grown too 決定的な. Some things were terrible if put into words. She drew away from Teddy almost primly—a Murray of New Moon once more.
"Darlings," said Ilse, throwing an arm around each of them. "Isn't it divine—all here together again? Oh, how much I love you! Let's forget we are old and grown-up and wise and unhappy and be mad, crazy, happy kids again for just one blissful summer."
A wonderful month followed. A month of indescribable roses, exquisite 煙霧s, silver perfection of moonlight, unforgettable amethystine dusks, march of rains, bugle-call of 勝利，勝つd, blossoms of purple and 星／主役にする-dust, mystery, music, 魔法. A month of laughter and dance and joy, of enchantment infinite. Yet a month of 抑制するd, hidden 現実化. Nothing was ever said. She and Teddy were seldom ever alone together. But one felt—knew. Emily 公正に／かなり sparkled with happiness. All the old restlessness that had worried Aunt Laura had gone from her 注目する，もくろむs. Life was good. Friendship—love—joy of sense and joy of spirit—悲しみ—loveliness—業績／成就—失敗—longing—all were part of life and therefore 利益／興味ing and 望ましい.
Every morning when she awakened the new day seemed to her like some good fairy who would bring her some beautiful gift of joy. Ambition was, for the time at least, forgotten. Success—力／強力にする—fame. Let those who cared for them 支払う／賃金 the price and take them. But love is not bought and sold. It is a gift.
Even the memory of her 燃やすd 調書をとる／予約する 中止するd to ache. What did one 調書をとる／予約する more or いっそう少なく 事柄 in this 広大な／多数の／重要な universe of life and passion? How pale and shadowy was any pictured life beside this throbbing, scintillant 存在! Who cared for laurel, after all? Orange blossoms would make a sweeter coronet. And what 星／主役にする of 運命 was ever brighter and more alluring than Vega of the Lyre. Which, 存在 解釈する／通訳するd, 簡単に meant that nothing 事柄d any more in this world or any other except Teddy Kent.
"If I had a tail I'd 攻撃する it," groaned Ilse, casting herself on Emily's bed and 投げつけるing one of Emily's treasured 容積／容量s—a little old copy of the Rubaiyat Teddy had given her in high school days—across the room. The 支援する （機の）カム off and the leaves flew every which way for a Sunday. Emily was annoyed.
"Were you ever in such a 明言する／公表する that you could neither cry nor pray nor 断言する?" 需要・要求するd Ilse.
"いつかs," agreed Emily dryly. "But I don't take it out on 調書をとる／予約するs that never 害（を与える）d me. I just go and bite off somebody's 長，率いる."
"There wasn't anybody's 長，率いる handy to bite off, but I did something that was just as 効果的な," said Ilse, casting a malevolent ちらりと見ること at Perry Miller's photograph which was propped up on Emily's desk.
Emily ちらりと見ることd at it, too, and her 直面する Murrayfied, as Ilse 表明するd it. The photograph was still there but where Perry's 意図 and unabashed 注目する，もくろむs had gazed out at her were now only jagged, unsightly 穴を開けるs.
Emily was furious. Perry had been so proud of those photographs. They were the first he had had taken in his life. "Never could afford any before," he had said 率直に. He looked very handsome in them, though his 提起する／ポーズをとる was a bit truculent and 積極的な with his wavy hair 小衝突d 支援する sleekly, and his 会社／堅い mouth and chin showing to excellent advantage. Aunt Elizabeth had gazed at it, 内密に wondering how she had ever dared make such a 罰金-looking young man as that eat in the kitchen. And Aunt Laura had wiped her 注目する，もくろむs sentimentally and thought that perhaps—after all—Emily and Perry—a lawyer would be やめる a thing to have in the family, coming in a good third to 大臣 and doctor. Though, to be sure, Stovepipe Town—
Perry had rather spoiled the gift for Emily by 提案するing to her again. It was very hard for Perry Miller to get it into his 長，率いる that anything he 手配中の，お尋ね者 he couldn't get. And he had always 手配中の，お尋ね者 Emily.
"I've got the world by the tail now," he said proudly. "Every year'll find me higher up. Why can't you （不足などを）補う your mind to have me, Emily?"
"Is it just a question of making up one's mind?" asked Emily satirically.
"Of course. What else?"
"Listen, Perry," said Emily decidedly. "You're a good old pal. I like you—I'll always like you. But I'm tired of this nonsense and I'm going to put a stop to it. If you ever again ask me to marry you I'll never never speak to you as long as I live. Since you are good at making up your mind （不足などを）補う yours which you want—my friendship or my 非，不，無-存在."
"Oh, 井戸／弁護士席." Perry shrugged his shoulders philosophically. He had about come to the 結論 anyhow that he might 同様に give up dangling after Emily Starr and getting nothing but 無視する，冷たく断わるs for his 苦痛s. Ten years was long enough to be a 拒絶するd but faithful swain. There were other girls, after all. Perhaps he had made a mistake. Too faithful and 執拗な. If he had 支持を得ようと努めるd by fits and starts, blowing hot and 冷淡な like Teddy Kent, he might have had better luck. Girls were like that. But Perry did not say this. Stovepipe Town had learned a few things. All he said was:
"If you'd only stop looking at me in a 確かな way I might get over hankering for you. Anyhow, I'd never have got this far along if I hadn't been in love with you. I'd just have been a 雇うd boy somewhere or a fisherman at the harbour. So I'm sorry. I 港／避難所't forgotten how you believed in me and helped me and stood up for me to your Aunt Elizabeth. It's been—been"—Perry's handsome 直面する 紅潮／摘発するd suddenly and his 発言する／表明する shook a little—"it's been—甘い—to dream about you all these years. I guess I'll have to give it up now. No use, I see. But don't take your friendship from me too, Emily."
"Never," said Emily impulsively putting out her 手渡すs. "You're a brick, Perry dear. You've done wonders and I'm proud of you."
And now to find the picture he had given her 廃虚d. She flashed on Ilse 注目する，もくろむs like a 嵐の sea.
"Ilse Burnley, how dare you do such a thing!"
"No use squizzling your eyebrows up at me like that, beloved demon," retorted Ilse. "Hasn't no 影響 on me a-tall. Couldn't 耐える that picture no-how. And Stovepipe Town in the background."
"What you've done is on a level with Stovepipe Town."
"井戸／弁護士席, he asked for it. Smirking there. 'Behold ME. I am a Person In The Public 注目する，もくろむ.' Never had such satisfaction as boring your scissors through those conceited orbs gave me. Two seconds more of looking at them and I'd have flung up my 長，率いる and howled. Oh, how I hate Perry Miller. Puffed up like a 毒（薬）d pup!"
"I thought you told me you loved him," said Emily rather rudely.
"It's the same thing," said Ilse morosely. "Emily, why can't I get that creature out of my mind! It's too Victorian to say heart. I 港／避難所't any heart. I don't love him—I do hate him. But I can't keep from thinking about him. That's just a 明言する／公表する of mind. Oh, I could yell at the moon. But the real 推論する／理由 I dug his 注目する，もくろむs out was his turning Grit after having been born and raised 保守的な."
"You are 保守的な yourself."
"True but unimportant. I hate turncoats. I've never forgiven Henry IV for turning カトリック教徒. Not because he was a Protestant but just because he was a turncoat I would have been just as implacable if he had been カトリック教徒 and turned Protestant. Perry has changed his politics just for the sake of getting into 共同 with Leonard Abel. There's Stovepipe Town for you. Oh, he'll be 裁判官 Miller and rich as wedding-cake—but—! I wish he had had a hundred 注目する，もくろむs so that I could have bored them all out! This is one of the times I feel it would be handy to have been a bosom friend of Lucrezia Borgia."
"Who was an excellent and rather stupid woman beloved for her good 作品."
"Oh, I know the modern whitewashers are 決定するd to 略奪する history of anything that is picturesque. No 事柄, I shall 粘着する to my 約束 in Lucrezia and William Tell. Put that picture out of my sight. Please, Emily."
Emily put the maltreated picture away in a drawer of her desk. Her 簡潔な／要約する 怒り／怒る had gone. She understood. At least she understood why the 注目する，もくろむs had been 削減（する） out. It was harder to understand just why Ilse could care so much and so incurably for Perry Miller. And there was just a hint of pity in her heart as 井戸／弁護士席—condescending pity for Ilse who cared so much for a man who didn't care for her.
"I think this will cure me," said Ilse savagely. "I can't—I won't love a turncoat. Blind bat—congenital idiot that he is! Pah, I'm through with him. Emily, I wonder I don't hate you. 拒絶するing with 軽蔑（する） what I want so much. Ice-冷淡な thing, did you ever really care for anything or any creature except that pen of yours?"
"Perry has never really loved me," 避けるd Emily. "He only imagines he does."
"井戸／弁護士席, I'd be content if he would only just imagine he loved me. How brazen I am about it. You're the one person in the world I can have the 救済 of 説 such things to. That's why I can't let myself hate you, after all. I daresay I'm not half as unhappy as I think myself. One never knows what may be around the next corner. After this I mean to bore Perry Miller out of my life and thoughts just as I bored his 注目する，もくろむs out. Emily," with an abrupt change of トン and posture, "do you know I like Teddy Kent better this summer than I ever did before."
"Oh." The monosyllable was eloquent, but Ilse was deaf to all its 関わりあい／含蓄s.
"Yes. He's really charming. Those years in Europe have done something to him. Perhaps it's just that they've taught him to hide his selfishness better."
"Teddy Kent isn't selfish. Why do you call him selfish? Look at his devotion to his mother."
"Because she adores him. Teddy likes to be adored. That's why he's never fallen in love with any one, you know. That—and because the girls chased him so, perhaps. It was sickening in Montreal. They made such asses of themselves—waiting on him with their tongues hanging out—that I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to dress in male attire and 断言する I wasn't of their sex. No 疑問 it was the same in Europe. No man alive can stand six years of that without 存在 spoiled—and contemptuous. Teddy is all 権利 with us—he knows we're old pals who can see through him and will stand no nonsense. But I've see him 受託するing 尊敬の印—graciously bestowing a smile—a look—a touch as a reward. 説 to every one just what he thought she'd like to hear. When I saw it I always felt I'd love to say something to him that he'd think of for years whenever he woke up at three o'clock o'night."
The sun had dropped into a bank of purple cloud behind the Delectable Mountain and a 冷気／寒がらせる and 影をつくる／尾行する swept 負かす／撃墜する the hill and across the dewy clover-fields to New Moon. The little room darkened and the glimpse of Blair Water through the gap in Lofty John's bush changed all at once to livid grey.
Emily's evening was spoiled. But she felt—knew—that Ilse was mistaken about many things. There was one 慰安, too—evidently she had kept her secret 井戸／弁護士席. Not even Ilse 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd it. Which was agreeable to both the Murray and the Starr.
But Emily sat long at her window looking into the 黒人／ボイコット night that turned slowly to pale silver as the moon rose. So the girls had "chased" Teddy.
She wished she had not run やめる so quickly when he had called from Lofty John's bush. "Oh, whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad" was all very 井戸／弁護士席 in song. But one was not living in a Scotch ballad. And that change in Ilse's 発言する／表明する—that almost confidential 公式文書，認める. Did Ilse mean—? How pretty Ilse had looked to-night. In that smart, sleeveless dress of green ぱらぱら雨d with tiny golden バタフライs—with the green necklace that circled her throat and fell to her hips like a long green snake—with her green, gold-buckled shoes—Ilse always wore such ravishing shoes. Did Ilse mean—? And if she did—?
After breakfast Aunt Laura 発言／述べるd to Cousin Jimmy that she felt sure something was on the dear child's mind.
"The 早期に bird catches—the 願望（する） of his heart," said Teddy, slipping 負かす／撃墜する beside Emily on the long, silken, pale-green grasses on the bank of Blair Water.
He had come so silently that Emily had not heard him until she saw him and she could not repress a start and blush—which she hoped wildly he did not see. She had wakened 早期に and been 掴むd with what her 一族／派閥 would doubtless have considered a temperamental 願望（する） to see the sun rise and make new 知識s with Eden. So she had stolen 負かす／撃墜する New Moon stairs and through the expectant garden and Lofty John's bush to the Blair Water to 会合，会う the mystery of the 夜明け. It had never occurred to her that Teddy would be prowling, too.
"I like to come 負かす／撃墜する here at sunrise, now and then," he said. "It's about the only chance I have of 存在 alone for a few minutes. Our evenings and afternoons are all given over the mad revelry—and Mother likes me to be with her every moment of the forenoons. She's had six such horribly lonely years."
"I'm sorry I've intruded on your precious 孤独," said Emily stiffly, 所有するd of a horrible 恐れる that he might think she knew of his habits and had come purposely to 会合，会う him.
Teddy laughed.
"Don't put on New Moon 空気／公表するs with me, Emily Byrd Starr. You know perfectly 井戸／弁護士席 that finding you here is the 栄冠を与える of the morning for me. I've always had a wild hope that it might happen. And now it has. Let's just sit here and dream together. God made this morning for us—just us two. Even talking would spoil it."
Emily agreed silently. How dear it was to sit here with Teddy on the banks of Blair Water, under the 珊瑚 of the morning sky, and dream—just dream—wild, 甘い, secret, unforgettable, foolish dreams. Alone with Teddy while all their world was sleeping. Oh, if this exquisite stolen moment could last! A line from some poem of Marjorie Pickthall quivered in her thought like a 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 of music—
Oh, keep the world forever at the 夜明け.
She said it like a 祈り under her breath.
Everything was so beautiful in this magical moment before sunrise. The wild blue irises around the pond, the violet 影をつくる／尾行するs in the curves of the dunes, the white filmy もや hanging over the buttercup valley across the pond, the cloth of gold and silver that was called a field of daisies, the 冷静な／正味の, delicious 湾 微風, the blue of far lands beyond the harbour, plumes of purple and mauve smoke going up on the still, golden 空気／公表する from the chimneys of Stovepipe Town where the fishermen rose 早期に. And Teddy lying at her feet, his わずかな／ほっそりした brown 手渡すs clasped behind his 長，率いる. Again she felt inescapably the 磁石の attraction of his personality. Felt it so 堅固に that she dared not 会合，会う his 注目する，もくろむs. Yet she was admitting to herself with a secret candour which would have horrified Aunt Elizabeth that she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to run her fingers through his sleek 黒人／ボイコット hair—feel his 武器 about her—圧力（をかける） her 直面する against his dark tender one—feel his lips on her lips—
Teddy took one of his 手渡すs from under his 長，率いる and put it over hers.
For a moment of 降伏する she left it there. Then Ilse's words flashed into memory, searing her consciousness like a dagger of 炎上. "I've seen him 受託するing 尊敬の印"—"graciously bestowing a touch as a reward"—"説 to each one just what he thought she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to hear." Had Teddy guessed what she had been thinking? Her thoughts had seemed so vivid to her that she felt as if any one must see her thinking. Intolerable. She sprang up 突然の, shaking off his fingers.
"I must be going home."
So blunt. Somehow, she could not make it smoother. He must not—should not think—Teddy rose, too. A change in his 発言する／表明する and look. Their marvellous moment was over.
"So must I. Mother will be 行方不明の me. She's always up 早期に. Poor little Mother. She hasn't changed. She isn't proud of my success—she hates it. She thinks it has taken me from her. The years have not made it any easier for her. I want her to come away with me, but she will not. I think that is partly because she cannot 耐える to leave the old Tansy Patch and partly because she can't 耐える seeing me shut up in my studio working—something that would 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業 her out. I wonder what made her so. I've never known her any other way, but I think she must have been different once. It's 半端物 for a son to know as little of his mother's life as I do. I don't even know what made that scar on her 直面する. I know next to nothing of my father—絶対 nothing of his people. She will never talk of anything in the years before we （機の）カム to Blair Water."
"Something 傷つける her once—傷つける her so terribly she has never got over it," said Emily.
"My father's death, perhaps?"
"No. At least, not if it were just death. There was something else—something poisonous. 井戸／弁護士席—bye-bye."
"Going to Mrs. Chidlaw's dinner-dance tomorrow night?"
"Yes. She is sending her car for me."
"Whew! No use after that asking you to go with me in a one-hoss buggy—borrowed at that. 井戸／弁護士席, I must take Ilse then. Perry to be there?"
"No. He wrote me he couldn't come—had to 準備する for his first 事例／患者. It's coming up next day."
"Perry is (1)偽造する／(2)徐々に進むing ahead, isn't he? That bulldog tenacity of his never lets go of an 客観的な once he gets his teeth into it. He'll be rich when we're still as poor as church mice. But then, we're chasing rainbow gold, aren't we?"
She would not ぐずぐず残る—he might think she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to ぐずぐず残る—"waiting with her tongue hanging out"—she turned away almost ungraciously. He had been so unregretfully ready to "take Ilse then." As if it really didn't 事柄 much. Yet she was still conscious of his touch on her 手渡す—it 燃やすd there yet. In that (n)艦隊／(a)素早いing moment, in that 簡潔な／要約する caress, he had made her wholly his, as years of wifehood could never have made her Dean's. She could think of nothing else all day. She lived over and over again that moment of 降伏する. It seemed to her so 不十分な that everything should be the same at New Moon and that Cousin Jimmy should be worrying over red spiders on his asters.
A tack on the Shrewsbury road made Emily fifteen minutes late for Mrs. Chidlaw's dinner. She flung a 迅速な ちらりと見ること into the mirror before she went 負かす／撃墜する and turned away 満足させるd. An arrow of rhinestones in her dark hair—she had hair that wore jewels 井戸／弁護士席—lent the necessary 公式文書，認める of brilliance to the new dress of silvery-green lace over a pale-blue slip that became her so 井戸／弁護士席. 行方不明になる 王室の had 選ぶd it for her in New York—and Aunts Elizabeth and Laura had looked askance at it. Green and blue was such an 半端物 combination. And there was so little of it. But it did something to Emily when she put it on. Cousin Jimmy looked at the exquisite, shimmering young thing with 星／主役にするs in her 注目する，もくろむs, in the old candle-lighted kitchen and said ruefully to Aunt Laura after she had gone, "She doesn't belong to us in that dress."
"It made her look like an actress," said Aunt Elizabeth freezingly.
Emily did not feel like an actress as she ran 負かす／撃墜する Mrs. Chidlaw's stairs and across the sun-room to the wide verandah where Mrs. Chidlaw had elected to 持つ／拘留する her dinner party. She felt real, 決定的な, happy, expectant. Teddy would be there—their 注目する，もくろむs would 会合，会う 意味ありげに across the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する—there would be the furtive sweetness of watching him 内密に when he talked to some one else—and thought of her—they would dance together afterwards. Perhaps he would tell her—what she was longing to hear—
She paused for a second in the open doorway, her 注目する，もくろむs soft and dreamy as a purple もや, looking out on the scene before her—one of those scenes which are always remembered from some subtle charm of their own.
The （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する was spread in the big 一連の会議、交渉／完成するd alcove at the corner of the vine-hung verandah. Beyond it tall, dark モミs and Lombardies stood out against the after-sunset sky of dull rose and fading yellow. Through their 茎・取り除くs she caught glimpses of the bay, dark and sapphire. 広大な／多数の／重要な 集まりs of 影をつくる／尾行する beyond the little island of light—the gleam of pearls on Ilse's white neck. There were other guests—Professor コマドリs of McGill with his long, melancholy 直面する made still longer by his 半端物 spade-形態／調整d 耐えるd; Lisette Chidlaw's 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, cream-coloured, kissable 直面する with its dark hair heaped high over it and her 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, dark 注目する，もくろむs; Jack Glenlake, dreamy and handsome; Annette Shaw, a sleepy, gold-and-white thing, always 影響する／感情ing a Mona Lisa smile; stocky little Tom Hallam with his humorous Irish 直面する; Aylmer Vincent. やめる fat. Beginning to be bald. Still making pretty speeches to the ladies. How absurd to 解任する that she had once thought him Prince Charming! Solemn-looking Gus Rankin, with a 空いている 議長，司会を務める beside him, evidently for her. Elsie Borland, young and chubby, showing off her lovely 手渡すs a little in the candlelight. But of all the party Emily only saw Teddy and Ilse. The 残り／休憩（する） were puppets.
They were sitting together just opposite her. Teddy sleek and 井戸／弁護士席-groomed as usual, his 黒人／ボイコット 長，率いる の近くに to Ilse's golden one. Ilse, a glorified 向こうずねing creature in torquoise-blue taffeta, looking the queen with a 泡，激怒すること of laces on her 十分な bosom and rose-and-silver nosegays at her shoulder. Just as Emily looked at them Ilse 解除するd her 注目する，もくろむs to Teddy's 直面する and asked some question—some intimate, 決定的な question, Emily felt sure, from the 表現 of her 直面する. She did not 解任する ever having seen just that look on Ilse's 直面する before. There was some sort of 限定された challenge in it. Teddy looked 負かす／撃墜する and answered her. Emily knew or felt that the word "love" was in his answer. Those two looked long into each other's 注目する，もくろむs—at least it seemed long to Emily, beholding that 交換 of rapt ちらりと見ることs. Then Ilse blushed and looked away. When had Ilse ever blushed before? And Teddy threw up his 長，率いる and swept the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する with 注目する，もくろむs that seemed exultant and 勝利を得た.
Emily went out into the circle of radiance from that terrible moment of disillusion. Her heart, so gay and light a moment before, seemed 冷淡な and dead. In spite of the lights and laughter a dark, 冷気／寒がらせる night seemed to be coming に向かって her. Everything in life seemed suddenly ugly. It was for her a dinner of bitter herbs and she never remembered anything Gus Rankin said to her. She never looked at Teddy, who seemed in wonderful spirits and was keeping up a stream of banter with Ilse, and she was chilly and unresponsive through the whole meal. Gus Rankin told all his favourite stories but like Queen Victoria of blessed memory, Emily was not amused. Mrs. Chidlaw was 刺激するd and repented of having sent her car for so temperamental a guest. Annoyed probably over 存在 paired with Gus Rankin, who had been asked at the last minute to fill Perry Miller's place. And looking like an 乱暴／暴力を加えるd duchess over it. Yet you had to be civil to her. She might put you in a 調書をとる／予約する if you weren't. Remember that time she wrote the review of our play! In reality, poor Emily was thanking whatever gods there be that she was beside Gus Rankin, who never 手配中の，お尋ね者 or 推定する／予想するd any one to talk.
The dance was a 恐ろしい 事件／事情／状勢 for Emily. She felt like a ghost moving の中で revellers she had suddenly outgrown. She danced once with Teddy and Teddy, realizing that it was only her わずかな／ほっそりした, silvery-green form he held, while her soul had 退却／保養地d into some aloof impregnable citadel, did not ask her again. He danced several dances with Ilse and then sat out several more with her in the garden. His devotion to her was noticed and commented upon. Millicent Chidlaw asked Emily if the 報告（する）／憶測 that Ilse Burnley and Frederick Kent were engaged were true.
"He was always crazy about her, wasn't he?" Millicent 手配中の，お尋ね者 to know.
Emily, in a 冷静な／正味の and impertinent 発言する／表明する, supposed so. Was Millicent watching her to see if she would flinch?
Of course he was in love with Ilse. What wonder? Ilse was so beautiful. What chance could her own moonlit charm of dark and silver have against that gold and ivory loveliness? Teddy liked her as a dear old pal and chum. That was all. She had been a fool again. Always deceiving herself. That morning by Blair Water—when she had almost let him see—perhaps he had seen—the thought was unbearable. Would she ever learn 知恵? Oh, yes, she had learned it to-night. No more folly. How wise and dignified and unapproachable she would be henceforth.
Wasn't there some wretched, vulgar old proverb anent locking a stable door after the horse was stolen?
And just how was she to get through the 残り／休憩（する） of the night?
Emily, just home from an interminable week's visit at Uncle Oliver's, where a cousin had been getting married, heard at the 地位，任命する-office that Teddy Kent had gone.
"Left at an hour's notice," Mrs. Crosby told her. '"Got a wire asking if he would take the 副／悪徳行為-主要な／長／主犯-ship of the College of Art in Montreal and had to go at once to see about it. Isn't that splendid? Hasn't he got on? It's really やめる wonderful. Blair Water should be very proud of him, shouldn't it? Isn't it a pity his mother is so 半端物?"
Fortunately Mrs. Crosby never took time to を待つ any answer to her questions. Emily knew she was turning pale and hated herself for it. She clutched her mail and 急いでd out of the 地位，任命する-office. She passed several people on the way home and never realized it. As a consequence her 評判 for pride went up 危険に. But when she reached New Moon Aunt Laura 手渡すd her a letter.
"Teddy left it. He was here last night to say good-bye."
The proud 行方不明になる Starr had a 狭くする escape from bursting into hysterical 涙／ほころびs on the 位置／汚点／見つけ出す. A Murray in hysterics! Never had such a thing been heard of—never must be heard of. Emily gritted her teeth, took the letter silently and went to her room. The ice around her heart was melting 速く. Oh, why had she been so 冷静な／正味の and dignified with Teddy all that week after Mrs. Chidlaw's dance? But she had never dreamed he would be going away so soon. And now—
She opened her letter. There was nothing in it but a clipping of some ridiculous poetry Perry had written and published in a Charlottetown paper—a paper that was not taken at New Moon. She and Teddy had laughed over it—Ilse had been too angry to laugh—and Teddy had 約束d to get a copy for her.
井戸／弁護士席, he had got it.
She was sitting there, looking whitely out into the soft, 黒人／ボイコット, velvety night with its goblin-market of 勝利，勝つd-投げ上げる／ボディチェックするd trees, when Ilse, who had also been away in Charlottetown, （機の）カム in.
"So Teddy has gone. I see you have a letter from him, too."
Too!
"Yes," said Emily, wondering if it were a 嘘（をつく）. Then 結論するd 猛烈に she did not care whether it was a 嘘（をつく） or not.
"He was terribly sorry to have to go so suddenly, but he had to decide at once and he couldn't decide without getting some more （警察などへの）密告，告訴（状） about it. Teddy won't tie himself 負かす／撃墜する too irrevocably to any position, no 事柄 how tempting it is. And to be 副／悪徳行為-主要な／長／主犯 of that college at his age is some little bouquet. 井戸／弁護士席, I'll soon have to go myself. It's been a gorgeous vacation but—Going to the dance at Derry Pond to-morrow night, Emily?"
Emily shook her 長，率いる. Of what use was dancing now that Teddy was gone?
"Do you know," said Ilse pensively, "I think this summer has been rather a 失敗, in spite of our fun. We thought we could be children again, but we 港／避難所't been. We've only been pretending."
Pretending? Oh, if this heartache were only a pretence! And this 燃やすing shame and 深い, mute 傷つける. Teddy had not even cared enough to 令状 her a line of 別れの（言葉，会）. She knew—she had known ever since the Chidlaw dance—he did not love her; but surely friendship 需要・要求するd something. Even her friendship meant nothing to him. This summer had been only an interlude to him. Now he had gone 支援する to his real life and the things that 事柄d. And he had written Ilse. Pretend? Oh, 井戸／弁護士席, she would pretend with a vengeance. There were times when the Murray pride was certainly an 資産.
"I think it's 同様に the summer is over," she said carelessly. "I 簡単に must get 負かす／撃墜する to work again. I have neglected my 令状ing shamefully the past two months."
"After all, that's all you really care about, isn't it?" said Ilse curiously. "I love my work but it doesn't 所有する me as yours 所有するs you. I'd give it up in a twinkling for—井戸／弁護士席, we're all as we're made. But is it really comfortable, Emily, to care for only one thing in life?"
"Much more comfortable than caring for too many things."
"I suppose so. 井戸／弁護士席, you せねばならない 後継する when you lay everything on the altar of your goddess. That's the difference between us. I'm of 女性 clay. There are some things I couldn't give up—some things I won't. And as Old Kelly advises, if I can't get what I want—井戸／弁護士席, I'll want what I can get. Isn't that ありふれた sense?"
Emily, wishing she could fool herself as easily as she could other people, went over to the window and kissed Ilse's forehead.
"We aren't children any longer—and we can't go 支援する to childhood, Ilse. We're women—and must make the best of it. I think you'll be happy yet. I want you to be."
Ilse squeezed Emily's 手渡す. "Darn ありふれた-sense!" she said drearily.
If she had not been in New Moon she would probably have used the unexpurgated 版.
"NOV. 17, 19—
"There are two adjectives that are never separated in regard to a November day—'dull' and '暗い／優うつな.' They were wedded together in the 夜明け of language and it is not for me to 離婚 them now. Accordingly, then, this day has been dull and 暗い／優うつな, inside and outside, materially and spiritually.
"Yesterday wasn't so bad. There was a warm autumnal sun and Cousin Jimmy's big heap of pumpkins made a lovely pool of colour against the old grey barns, and the valley 負かす／撃墜する by the brook was mellow with the late, leafless gold of juniper-trees. I walked in the afternoon through the uncanny enchantment of November 支持を得ようと努めるd, still haunted by loveliness, and again in the evening in the afterglow of an autumnal sunset. The evening was 穏やかな and wrapped in a 広大な／多数の／重要な, grey, brooding stillness of windless fields and waiting hill—a stillness which was yet threaded through with many little eerie, beautiful sounds which I could hear if I listened as much with my soul as my ears. Later on there was a 行列 of 星／主役にするs and I got a message from them.
"But to-day was dreary. And to-night virtue has gone out of me. I wrote all day but I could not 令状 this evening. I shut myself into my room and paced it like a caged creature. ''Tis the middle of the night by the 城 clock,' but there is no use in thinking of sleep. I can't sleep. The rain against the window is very dismal and the 勝利，勝つd are marching by like armies of the dead. All the little ghostly joys of the past are haunting me—all the ghostly 恐れるs of the 未来.
"I keep thinking—foolishly—of the Disappointed House to-night—up there on the hill with the roar of the 雨の 勝利，勝つd about it. Somehow this is what 傷つけるs me worst to-night. Other nights it is the fact that I don't even know where Dean is this winter—or that Teddy never 令状s a line to me—or just that there are hours when sheer loneliness wrings the stamina out of me. In such moments I come to this old 定期刊行物 for 慰安ing. It's like talking it out to a faithful friend."
"NOV. 30, 19—
"I have two chrysanthemums and a rose out. The rose is a song and a dream and an enchantment all in one. The 'mums are very pretty, too, but it does not do to have them and the rose too 近づく together. Seen by themselves they are handsome, 有望な blossoms, pink and yellow, and cheery, looking very 井戸／弁護士席 満足させるd with themselves. But 始める，決める the rose behind them and the change is 現実に amusing. They then seem like vulgar, frowsy kitchen maids beside a stately, white queen. It's not the fault of the poor 'mums that they weren't born roses, so to be fair to them I keep them by themselves and enjoy them that way.
"I wrote a good story to-day. I think even Mr. Carpenter would have been 満足させるd with it. I was happy while I was 令状ing it. But when I finished it and （機の）カム 支援する to reality—
"井戸／弁護士席, I'm not going to growl. Life has at least grown livable again. It was not livable through the autumn. I know Aunt Laura thought I was going into 消費. Not I. That would be too Victorian. I fought things out and 征服する／打ち勝つd them and I'm a sane, 解放する／自由な woman once more. Though the taste of my folly is still in my mouth at times and very bitter it is.
"Oh, I'm really getting on very 井戸／弁護士席. I'm beginning to make a livable income for myself and Aunt Elizabeth reads my stories aloud o' evenings to Aunt Laura and Cousin Jimmy. I can always get through to-day very nicely. It's to-morrow I can't live through."
"JANUARY 15, 19—
"I've been out for a moonlit snowshoe tramp. There was a nice bite of 霜 in the 空気／公表する and the night was exquisite—a frosty, starry lyric of light. Some nights are like honey—and some like ワイン—and some like wormwood. To-night is like ワイン—white ワイン—some （疑いを）晴らす, sparkling, fairy brew that rather goes to one's 長，率いる. I am tingling all over with hope and 期待 and victory over 確かな principalities and 力／強力にするs that got a 支配する on me last night about three o'clock.
"I have just drawn aside the curtain of my window and looked out. The garden is white and still under the moon, all ebony of 影をつくる／尾行する and silver of 霜d snow. Over it all the delicate traceries where trees stand up leafless in seeming death and 悲しみ. But only seeming. The life-血 is at their hearts and by and by it will 動かす and they will 着せる／賦与する themselves in bridal 衣料品s of young green leaves and pink blossoms. And over there where the biggest drift of all lies 深い the Golden Ones will uplift their trumpets of the morning.
"And far beyond our garden field after field lies white and lonely in the moonlight. Lonely? I hadn't meant to 令状 that word. It slipped in. I'm not lonely—I have my work and my 調書をとる／予約するs and the hope of spring—and I know that this 静める, simple 存在 is a much better and happier one than the hectic life I led last summer.
"I believed that before I wrote it 負かす／撃墜する. And now I don't believe it. It isn't true. This is stagnation!!
"Oh, I am—I am lonely—with the loneliness of unshared thought. What is the use of 否定するing it? When I （機の）カム in I was the 勝利者—but now my 旗，新聞一面トップの大見出し／大々的に報道する is in the dust again."
"FEB. 20, 19—
"Something has happened to sour February's temper. Such a peevish month. The 天候 for the past few weeks has certainly been living up to the Murray traditions.
"A dreary snowstorm is 激怒（する）ing and the 勝利，勝つd is 追求するing tormented wraiths over the hills. I know that out beyond the trees Blair Water is a sad, 黒人／ボイコット thing in a 砂漠 of whiteness. But the 広大な／多数の／重要な, dark, wintry night outside makes my cosy little room with its crackling 解雇する／砲火／射撃 seem cosier, and I feel much more contented with the world than I did that beautiful night in January. To-night isn't so—so 侮辱ing.
"To-day in Glassford's Magazine there was a story illustration by Teddy. I saw my own 直面する looking out at me in the ヘロイン. It always gives me a very ghostly sensation. And to-day it 怒り／怒るd me 同様に. My 直面する has no 権利 to mean anything to him when I don't.
"But for all that, I 削減（する） out his picture, which was in the 'Who's Who' column, and put it in a でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れる and 始める，決める it on my desk. I have no picture of Teddy. And to-night I took it out of the でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れる and laid it on the coals in the fireplace and watched it shrivel up. Just before the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 went out of it a queer little shudder went over it and Teddy seemed to wink at me—an impish, derisive wink—as if he said:
"'You think you've forgotten—but if you had you wouldn't have 燃やすd me. You are 地雷—you will always be 地雷—and I don't want you.'
"If a good fairy were suddenly to appear before me and 申し込む／申し出 me a wish it would be this: to have Teddy Kent come and whistle again and again in Lofty John's bush. And I would not go—not one step.
"I can't 耐える this. I must put him out of my life."
The Murray 一族／派閥 had a really terrible time in the summer that followed Emily's twenty-second birthday. Neither Teddy nor Ilse （機の）カム home that summer. Ilse was 小旅行するing in the West and Teddy betook himself into some northern hinterland with an Indian 条約 party to make illustrations for a serial. But Emily had so many beaus that Blair Water gossip was in as bad a 苦境 as the centipede who couldn't tell which foot （機の）カム after which. So many beaus and not one of them such as the 関係 could 認可する of.
There was handsome, dashing Jack Bannister, the Derry Pond Don Juan—"a picturesque scoundrel," as Dr. Burnley called him. Certainly Jack was untrammelled by any moral code. But who knew what 影響 his silver tongue and good looks might have on temperamental Emily? It worried the Murrays for three weeks and then it appeared that Emily had some sense, after all. Jack Bannister faded out of the picture.
"Emily should never have even spoken to him," said Uncle Oliver indignantly. "Why, they say he keeps a diary and 令状s 負かす／撃墜する all his love 事件／事情／状勢s in it and what the girls said to him."
"Don't worry. He won't 令状 負かす／撃墜する what I said to him," said Emily, when Aunt Laura 報告（する）／憶測d this to her anxiously.
Harold Conway was another 苦悩. A Shrewsbury man in his thirties, who looked like a poet gone to seed. With a shock of wavy dark auburn hair and brilliant brown 注目する，もくろむs. Who "fiddled for a living."
Emily went to a concert and a play with him and the New Moon aunts had some sleepless nights. But when in Blair Water parlance 棒 Dunbar "削減（する） him out" things were even worse. The Dunbars were "nothing" when it （機の）カム to 宗教. 棒's mother, to be sure, was a Presbyterian, but his father was a Methodist, his brother a Baptist and one sister a Christian Scientist. The other sister was a Theosophist, which was worse than all the 残り／休憩（する） because they had no idea what it was. In all this mixture what on earth was 棒? Certainly no match for an 正統派の niece of New Moon.
"His 広大な／多数の／重要な-uncle was a 宗教的な maniac," said Uncle Wallace gloomily. "He was kept chained in his bedroom for sixteen years. What has got into that girl? Is she idiot or demon?"
Yet the Dunbars were at least a respectable family; but what was to be said of Larry Dix—one of the "悪名高い Priest Pond Dixes"—whose father had once pastured his cows in the graveyard and whose uncle was more than 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd of having thrown a dead cat 負かす／撃墜する a 隣人's 井戸／弁護士席 for spite? To be sure, Larry himself was doing 井戸／弁護士席 as a dentist and was such a deadly-serious, solemn-in-earnest young man that nothing much could be 勧めるd against him, if one could only swallow the fact that he was a Dix. にもかかわらず, Aunt Elizabeth was much relieved when Emily turned him 流浪して.
"Such presumption," said Aunt Laura, meaning for a Dix to aspire to a Murray.
"It wasn't because of his presumption I packed him off," said Emily. "It was because of the way he made love. He made a thing ugly that should have been beautiful."
"I suppose you wouldn't have him because he didn't 提案する romantically," said Aunt Elizabeth contemptuously.
"No. I think my real 推論する／理由 was that I felt sure he was the 肉親，親類d of man who would give his wife a vacuum cleaner for a Christmas 現在の," 公約するd Emily.
"She will not take anything 本気で," said Aunt Elizabeth in despair.
"I think she is bewitched," said Uncle Wallace. "She hasn't had one decent beau this summer. She's so temperamental decent fellows are 脅すd of her."
"She's getting a terrible 評判 as a flirt," 嘆く／悼むd Aunt Ruth. "It's no wonder nobody 価値（がある） while will have anything to do with her.
"Always with some fantastic love-事件／事情／状勢 on 手渡す," snapped Uncle Wallace. The 一族／派閥 felt that Uncle Wallace had, with unusual felicity, 攻撃する，衝突する on the very word. Emily's "love-事件／事情／状勢s" were never the 従来の, decorous things Murray love-事件／事情／状勢s should be. They were indeed fantastic.
But Emily always blessed her 星／主役にするs that 非，不，無 of the 一族／派閥 except Aunt Elizabeth ever knew anything about the most fantastic of them all. If they had they would have thought her temperamental with a vengeance.
It all （機の）カム about in a simple, silly way. The editor of the Charlottetown Argus, a daily paper with some pretensions to literature, had selected from an old U. S. newspaper a 確かな uncopyrighted story of several 一時期／支部s—A 王室の Betrothal, by some unknown author, 示す Greaves, for reprinting in the special 版 of The Argus, 充てるd to "上げるing" the （人命などを）奪う，主張するs of Prince Edward Island as a summer 訴える手段／行楽地. His staff was small and the compositors had been setting up the type for the special 版 at 半端物 moments for a month and had it all ready except the 結論するing 一時期／支部 of A 王室の Betrothal. This 一時期／支部 had disappeared and could not be 設立する. The editor was furious, but that did not help 事柄s any. He could not at that late hour find another story which would 正確に／まさに fill the space, nor was there time to 始める，決める it up if he could. The special 版 must go to 圧力（をかける） in an hour. What was to be done?
At this moment Emily wandered in. She and Mr. Wilson were good friends and she always called when in town.
"You're a godsend," said Mr. Wilson. "Will you do me a favour?" He 投げ上げる／ボディチェックするd the torn and dirty 一時期／支部s of A 王室の Betrothal over to her. "For heaven's sake, get to work and 令状 a 結論するing 一時期／支部 to that yarn. I'll give you half an hour. They can 始める，決める it up in another half-hour. And we'll have the darn thing out on time."
Emily ちらりと見ることd あわてて over the story. As far as it went there was no hint of what "示す Greaves" ーするつもりであるd as a denouement.
"Have you any idea how it ended?" she asked.
"No, never read it," groaned Mr. Wilson. "Just 選ぶd it for its length."
"井戸／弁護士席, I'll do my best, though I'm not accustomed to 令状 with flippant levity of kings and queens," agreed Emily. "This 示す Greaves, whoever he is, seems to be very much at home with 王族."
"I'll bet he never even saw one," snorted Mr. Wilson.
In the half-hour allotted to her Emily produced a やめる respectable 結論するing 一時期／支部 with a 解答 of the mystery which was really ingenious. Mr. Wilson snatched it with an 空気／公表する of 救済 手渡すd it to a compositor, and 屈服するd Emily out with thanks.
"I wonder if any of the readers will notice where the seam comes in," 反映するd Emily amusedly. "And I wonder if 示す Greaves will ever see it and if so what he will think."
It did not seem in the least likely she would ever know and she 解任するd the 事柄 from her mind. その結果 when, one afternoon two weeks later, Cousin Jimmy 勧めるd a stranger into the sitting-room where Emily was arranging roses in Aunt Elizabeth's 激しく揺する-水晶 goblet with its ruby base—a treasured heirloom of New Moon—Emily did not connect him with A 王室の Betrothal, though she had a 際立った impression that the 報知係 was an exceedingly 怒った man.
Cousin Jimmy 慎重に withdrew and Aunt Laura, who had come in to place a glass dish 十分な of strawberry 保存するs on the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する to 冷静な／正味の, withdrew also, wondering a little who Emily's 半端物-looking 報知係 could be. Emily herself wondered. She remained standing by the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する, a わずかな／ほっそりした, gracious thing in her pale-green gown, 向こうずねing like a 星／主役にする in the shadowy, old-fashioned room.
"Won't you sit 負かす／撃墜する?" she questioned with all the aloof 儀礼 of New Moon. But the newcomer did not move. He 簡単に stood before her 星／主役にするing at her. And again Emily felt that, while he had been やめる furious when he （機の）カム in, he was not in the least angry now.
He must have been born, of course, because he was there—but it was incredible, she thought, he could ever have been a baby. He wore audacious 着せる／賦与するs and a monocle, screwed into one of his 注目する，もくろむs—注目する，もくろむs that seemed absurdly like little 黒人／ボイコット currants with 黒人／ボイコット eyebrows that made 権利-angled triangles above them. He had a mane of 黒人／ボイコット hair reaching to his shoulders, an immensely long chin and a marble-white 直面する. In a picture Emily thought he would have looked rather handsome and romantic. But here in the New Moon sitting-room he looked 単に weird.
"Lyrical creature," he said, gazing at her.
Emily wondered if he were by any chance an escaped lunatic.
"You do not commit the 罪，犯罪 of ugliness," he continued fervently. "This is a wonderful moment—very wonderful. 'Tis a pity we must spoil it by talking. 注目する，もくろむs of purple-grey, ぱらぱら雨d with gold. 注目する，もくろむs that I have looked for all my life. 甘い 注目する，もくろむs, in which I 溺死するd myself eons ago."
"Who are you?" said Emily crisply, now 完全に 納得させるd that he was やめる mad. He laid his 手渡す on his heart and 屈服するd.
"示す Greaves—示す D. Greaves—示す Delage Greaves."
示す Greaves! Emily had a 混乱させるd idea that she せねばならない know the 指名する. It sounded curiously familiar.
"Is it possible you do not 認める my 指名する! Verily this is fame. Even in this remote corner of the world I should have supposed—"
"Oh," cried Emily, light suddenly breaking on her. "I—I remember now. You wrote A 王室の Betrothal."
"The story you so unfeelingly 殺人d—yes."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Emily interrupted. "Of course you would think it unpardonable. It was this way—you see—"
He stopped her by a wave of a very long, very white 手渡す.
"No 事柄. No 事柄. It does not 利益／興味 me at all now. I 収容する／認める I was very angry when I （機の）カム here. I am stopping at the Derry Pond Hotel of The Dunes—ah, what a 指名する—poetry—mystery—romance—and I saw the special 版 of The Argus this morning. I was angry—had I not a 権利 to be?—and yet more sad than angry. My story was barbarously mutilated. A happy ending. Horrible. My ending was sorrowful and artistic. A happy ending can never be artistic. I 急いでd to the den of The Argus. I dissembled my 怒り／怒る—I discovered who was responsible. I （機の）カム here—to 公然と非難する—to upbraid. I remain to worship."
Emily 簡単に did not know what to say. New Moon traditions held no precedent for this.
"You do not understand me. You are puzzled—your bewilderment becomes you. Again I say a wonderful moment. To come enraged—and behold divinity. To realize as soon as I saw you that you were meant for me and me alone."
Emily wished somebody would come in. This was getting nightmarish.
"It is absurd to talk so," she said すぐに. "We are strangers—"
"We are not strangers," he interrupted. "We have loved in some other life, of course. And our love was a violent, gorgeous thing—a love of eternity. I 認めるd you as soon as I entered. As soon as you have 回復するd from your 甘い surprise you will realize this, too. When can you marry me?"
To be asked by a man to marry him five minutes after the first moment you have laid 注目する，もくろむs on him is an experience more 刺激するing than pleasant. Emily was annoyed.
"Don't talk nonsense, please," she said curtly. "I am not going to marry you at any time."
"Not marry me? But you must! I have never before asked a woman to marry me. I am the famous 示す Greaves. I am rich. I have the charm and romance of my French mother and the ありふれた-sense of my Scotch father. With the French 味方する of me I feel and 認める your beauty and mystery. With the Scotch 味方する of me I 屈服する in homage to your reserve and dignity. You are ideal—adorable. Many women have loved me but I loved them not. I enter this room a 解放する／自由な man. I go out a 捕虜. Enchanting 捕らわれた! Adorable captor! I ひさまづく before you in spirit."
Emily was horribly afraid he would ひさまづく before her in the flesh. He looked やめる 有能な of it. And suppose Aunt Elizabeth should come in.
"Please go away," she said 猛烈に. "I'm—I'm very busy and I can't stop talking to you any longer. I'm sorry about the story—if you would let me explain—"
"I have said it does not 事柄 about the story. Though you must learn never to 令状 happy endings—never. I will teach you. I will teach you the beauty and artistry of 悲しみ and incompleteness. Ah, what a pupil you will be! What bliss to teach such a pupil! I kiss your 手渡す."
He made a step nearer as if to 掴む upon it. Emily stepped backward in alarm.
"You must be crazy," she exclaimed.
"Do I look crazy?" 需要・要求するd Mr. Greaves.
"You do," retorted Emily きっぱりと and cruelly.
"Perhaps I do—probably I do. Crazy—intoxicated with ワイン of the rose. All lovers are mad. Divine madness! Oh, beautiful, unkissed lips!"
Emily drew herself up. This absurd interview must end. She was by now 完全に angry.
"Mr. Greaves," she said—and such was the 力／強力にする of the Murray look that Mr. Greaves realized she meant 正確に／まさに what she said. "I shan't listen to any more of this nonsense. Since you won't let me explain about the 事柄 of the story I 企て，努力，提案 you good-afternoon."
Mr. Greaves looked 厳粛に at her for a moment. Then he said solemnly:
"A kiss? Or a kick? Which?"
Was he speaking metaphorically? But whether or no—
"A kick," said Emily disdainfully.
Mr. Greaves suddenly 掴むd the 水晶 goblet and dashed it violently against the stove.
Emily uttered a faint shriek—partly of real terror—partly of 狼狽. Aunt Elizabeth's treasured goblet.
"That was 単に a defence reaction," said Mr. Greaves, glaring at her. "I had to do that—or kill you. Ice-maiden! 冷気／寒がらせる vestal! 冷淡な as your northern snows! 別れの（言葉，会）."
He did not 激突する the door as he went out. He 単に shut it gently and irrevocably, so that Emily might realize what she had lost. When she saw that he was really out of the garden and marching indignantly 負かす／撃墜する the 小道／航路 as if he were 鎮圧するing something beneath his feet, she permitted herself the 救済 of a long breath—the first she had dared to draw since his 入り口.
"I suppose," she said, half hysterically, "that I せねばならない be thankful he did not throw the dish of strawberry 保存するs at me."
Aunt Elizabeth （機の）カム in.
"Emily, the 激しく揺する-水晶 goblet! Your Grandmother Murray's goblet! And you have broken it!"
"No, really. Aunty dear, I didn't. Mr. Greaves—Mr. 示す Delage Greaves did it. He threw it at the stove."
"Threw it at the stove!" Aunt Elizabeth was staggered. "Why did he throw it at the stove?"
"Because I wouldn't marry him," said Emily.
"Marry him! Did you ever see him before?"
"Never."
Aunt Elizabeth gathered up the fragments of the 水晶 goblet and went out やめる speechless. There was—there must be—something wrong with a girl when a man 提案するd marriage to her at first 会合. And 投げつけるd heirloom goblets at inoffensive stoves.
But it was the 事件／事情／状勢 of the Japanese prince which really gave the Murrays their bad summer.
Second-cousin Louise Murray, who had lived in Japan for twenty years, （機の）カム home to Derry Pond for a visit and brought with her a young Japanese prince, the son of a friend of her husband's, who had been 変えるd to Christianity by her 成果／努力s and wished to see something of Canada. His mere coming made a tremendous sensation in the 一族／派閥 and the community. But that was nothing to the next sensation when they realized that the prince had evidently and unmistakably fallen terrifically in love with Emily Byrd Starr of New Moon.
Emily liked him—was 利益／興味d in him—was sorry for him in his bewildered reactions to the Presbyterian atmosphere of Derry Pond and Blair Water. 自然に a Japanese prince, even a 変えるd one, couldn't feel 正確に／まさに at home. So she talked a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定 to him—he could talk English excellently—and walked with him at moonrise in the garden—and almost every evening that slant-注目する，もくろむd, inscrutable 直面する, with the 黒人／ボイコット hair 小衝突d straight 支援する from it as smooth as satin, might be seen in the parlour of New Moon.
But it was not until he gave Emily a little frog beautifully 削減（する） out of moss agate that the Murrays took alarm. Cousin Louise sounded it first. Tearfully. She knew what that frog meant. Those agate frogs were heirlooms in the family of the prince. Never were they given away save as marriage and betrothal gifts. Was Emily engaged—to him? Aunt Ruth, looking as usual as if she thought everyone had gone mad, （機の）カム over to New Moon and made やめる a scene. It annoyed Emily so much that she 辞退するd to answer any questions. She was a bit edgy to begin with over the unnecessary way her 一族／派閥 had heckled her all summer over suitors that were not of her choosing and whom there was not the slightest danger of her taking 本気で.
"There are some things not good for you to know," she told Aunt Ruth impertinently.
And the distracted Murrays despairingly 結論するd that she had decided to be a Japanese princess. And if she had—井戸／弁護士席, they knew what happened when Emily made up her mind. It was something 必然的な—like a visitation of God; but it was a dreadful thing. His Princeship cast no halo about him in the Murray 注目する，もくろむs. No Murray before her would ever have dreamed of marrying any foreigner, much いっそう少なく a Japanese. But then of course she was temperamental.
"Always with some disreputable creature in 牽引する," said Aunt Ruth. "But this （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域s everything I ever 恐れるd. A pagan—a—"
"Oh, he isn't that, Ruth," 嘆く／悼むd Aunt Laura. "He is 変えるd—Cousin Louise says she is sure he is sincere, but—"
"I tell you he's a pagan!" 繰り返し言うd Aunt Ruth. "Cousin Louise could never 変える anybody. Why, she's 非，不，無 too sound herself. And her husband is a modernist if he's anything. Don't tell me! A yellow pagan! Him and his agate frogs!"
"She seems to have such an attraction for 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の men," said Aunt Elizabeth, thinking of the 激しく揺する-水晶 goblet.
Uncle Wallace said it was preposterous. Andrew said she might at least have 選ぶd on a white man. Cousin Louise, who felt that the 一族／派閥 非難するd her for it all, pleaded tearfully that he had beautiful manners when you really knew him.
"And she might have had the Reverend James Wallace," said Aunt Elizabeth.
They lived through five weeks of this and then the prince went 支援する to Japan. He had been 召喚するd home by his family, Cousin Louise said—a marriage had been arranged for him with a princess of an old Samurai family. Of course he had obeyed; but he left the agate frog in Emily's 所有／入手 and nobody ever knew just what he said to her one night at moonrise in the garden. Emily was a little white and strange and remote when she （機の）カム in, but she smiled impishly at her aunts and Cousin Louise.
"So I'm not to be a Japanese princess after all," she said, wiping away some imaginary 涙／ほころびs.
"Emily, I 恐れる you've only been flirting with that poor boy," rebuked Cousin Louise. "You have made him very unhappy."
"I wasn't flirting. Our conversations were about literature and history—mostly. He will never think of me again."
"I know what he looked like when he read that letter," retorted Cousin Louise. "And I know the significance of agate frogs."
New Moon drew a breath of 救済 and thankfully settled 負かす／撃墜する to 決まりきった仕事 again. Aunt Laura's old, tender 注目する，もくろむs lost their troubled look, but Aunt Elizabeth thought sadly of the Rev. James Wallace. It had been a 神経-racking summer. Blair Water whispered about, that Emily Starr had been "disappointed," but 予報するd she would live to be thankful for it. You couldn't 信用 them foreigners. Not likely he was a prince at all.
One day in the last week of October Cousin Jimmy began to plough the hill field, Emily 設立する the lost 伝説の diamond of the Murrays,* and Aunt Elizabeth fell 負かす／撃墜する the cellar steps and broke her 脚.
*See Emily of New Moon.
Emily, in the warm amber of the afternoon, stood on the sandstone 前線 steps of New Moon and looked about her with 注目する，もくろむs 熱心な for the mellow loveliness of the fading year. Most of the trees were leafless, but a little birch, still in golden array, peeped out of the young spruces—a birch Danae in their 影をつくる／尾行するs—and the Lombardies 負かす／撃墜する the 小道／航路 were like a 列／漕ぐ／騒動 of 広大な／多数の／重要な golden candles. Beyond was the sere hill field scarfed with three 有望な red 略章s—the "山の尾根s" Cousin Jimmy had ploughed. Emily had been 令状ing all day and she was tired. She went 負かす／撃墜する the garden to the little vine-hung summer house—she poked dreamily about; deciding where the new tulip bulbs should be 工場／植物d. Here—in this moist rich 国／地域 where Cousin Jimmy had recently 調査するd out the mouldering old 味方する-steps. Next spring it should be a 祝宴 board laden with stately chalices. Emily's heel sank 深く，強烈に into the moist earth and （機の）カム out laden. She sauntered over to the 石／投石する （法廷の）裁判 and daintily 捨てるd off the earth with a twig. Something fell and glittered on the grass like a dewdrop. Emily 選ぶd it up with a little cry. There in her 手渡す was the Lost Diamond—lost over sixty years before, when 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Miriam Murray had gone into the summer house.
It had been one of her childish dreams to find the Lost Diamond—she and Ilse and Teddy had 追跡（する）d for it 得点する／非難する／２０s of times. But of late years she had not thought about it. And here it was—as 有望な, as beautiful, as ever. It must have been hidden in some crevice of the old 味方する-steps and fallen to the earth when they had been torn away. It made やめる a sensation at New Moon. A few days later the Murrays had a conclave about Aunt Elizabeth's bed to decide what should be done with it. Cousin Jimmy said stoutly that finding was keeping in this 事例／患者. Edward and Miriam Murray were long since dead. They had left no family. The diamond by 権利s was Emily's.
"We are all 相続人s to it," said Uncle Wallace judicially. "It cost, I've heard, a thousand dollars sixty years ago. It's a beautiful 石／投石する. The fair thing is to sell it and give Emily her mother's 株."
"One shouldn't sell a family diamond," said Aunt Elizabeth 堅固に.
This seemed to be the general opinion at 底（に届く）. Even Uncle Wallace 定評のある the sway of noblesse 強いる. 結局 they all agreed that the diamond should be Emily's.
"She can have it 始める，決める as a little pendant for her neck," said Aunt Laura.
"It was meant for a （犯罪の）一味," said Aunt Ruth, just for the sake of 同意しないing. "And she shouldn't wear it, in any 事例／患者, until she is married. A diamond as big as that is in bad taste for a young girl."
"Oh, married!" Aunt Addie gave a rather 汚い little laugh. It 伝えるd her opinion that if Emily waited for that to wear the diamond it was just possible she might never wear it. Aunt Addie had never forgiven Emily for 辞退するing Andrew. And here she was at twenty-three—井戸／弁護士席, nearly—with no 適格の beau in sight.
"The Lost Diamond will bring you luck, Emily," said Cousin Jimmy. "I'm glad they've left it with you. It's rightly yours. But will you let me 持つ／拘留する it いつかs, Emily,—just 持つ／拘留する it and look into it. When I look into anything like that I—I—find myself. I'm not simple Jimmy Murray then—I'm what I would have been if I hadn't been 押し進めるd into a 井戸／弁護士席. Don't say anything about it to Elizabeth, Emily, but just let me 持つ／拘留する it and look at it once in awhile."
"My favourite gem is the diamond, when all is said and done," Emily wrote to Ilse that night. "But I love gems of all 肉親，親類d—except turquoise. Them I loathe—the shallow, insipid, soulless things. The gloss of pearl, glow of ruby, tenderness of sapphire, melting violet of amethyst, moonlit 微光 of acquamarine, milk and 解雇する／砲火／射撃 of opal—I love them all."
"What about emeralds?" Ilse wrote 支援する—a bit nastily, Emily thought, not knowing that a Shrewsbury 特派員 of Ilse's wrote her now and then some unreliable gossip about Perry Miller's visits to New Moon. Perry did come to New Moon occasionally. But he had given up asking Emily to marry him and seemed wholly 吸収するd in his profession. Already he was regarded as a coming man and shrewd 政治家，政治屋s were said to be 企て，努力，提案ing their time until he should be old enough to "bring out" as a 候補者 for the 地方の House.
"Who knows? You may be 'my lady' yet," wrote Ilse, "Perry will be Sir Perry some day."
Which Emily thought was even nastier than the scratch about the emerald.
At first it did not seem that the Lost Diamond had brought luck to any one at New Moon. The very evening of its finding Aunt Elizabeth broke her 脚. Shawled and bonnetted for a call on a sick 隣人—bonnets had long gone out of fashion even for 年輩の ladies, but Aunt Elizabeth wore them still—she had started 負かす／撃墜する cellar to get a jar of 黒人／ボイコット currant jam for the 無効の, had tripped in some way and fallen. When she was taken up it was 設立する that her 脚 was broken and Aunt Elizabeth 直面するd the fact that for the first time in her life she was to spend weeks in bed.
Of course New Moon got on without her, though she believed it couldn't. But the problem of amusing her was a more serious one than the running of New Moon. Aunt Elizabeth fretted and pined over her 施行するd inactivity—could not read much herself—didn't like to be read to—was sure everything was going to the dogs—was sure she was going to be lame and useless all the 残り／休憩（する） of her life—was sure Dr. Burnley was an old fool—was sure Laura would never get the apples packed 適切に—was sure the 雇うd boy would cheat Cousin Jimmy.
"Would you like to hear the little story I finished to-day, Aunt Elizabeth?" asked Emily one evening. "It might amuse you."
"Is there any silly love-making in it?" 需要・要求するd Aunt Elizabeth ungraciously.
"No love-making of any 肉親，親類d. It's pure comedy."
"井戸／弁護士席, let me hear it. It may pass the time."
Emily read the story. Aunt Elizabeth made no comment whatever. But the next afternoon she said, hesitatingly, "Is there—any more—of that story you read last night?"
"No."
"井戸／弁護士席, if there was—I wouldn't mind 審理，公聴会 it. It 肉親，親類d of took my thoughts away from myself. The folks seemed—sort of—real to me. I suppose that is why I feel as if I want to know what happens to them," 結論するd Aunt Elizabeth as if わびるing for her 証拠不十分.
"I'll 令状 another story about them for you," 約束d Emily.
When this was read Aunt Elizabeth 発言／述べるd that she didn't care if she heard a third one.
"Those Applegaths are amusing," she said. "I've known people like them. And that little chap, Jerry Stowe. What happens to him when he grows up, poor child?"
Emily's idea （機の）カム to her that evening as she sat idly by her window looking rather drearily out on 冷淡な meadows and hills of grey, over which a chilly, lonesome 勝利，勝つd blew. She could hear the 乾燥した，日照りの leaves blowing over the garden 塀で囲む. A few 広大な／多数の／重要な white flakes were beginning to come 負かす／撃墜する.
She had had a letter from Ilse that day. Teddy's picture, The Smiling Girl, which had been 展示（する）d in Montreal and had made a tremendous sensation, had been 受託するd by the Paris Salon.
"I just got 支援する from the coast in time to see the last day of its 展示 here," wrote Ilse. "And it's you—Emily—it's you. Just that old sketch he made of you years ago 完全にするd and glorified—the one your Aunt Nancy made you so mad by keeping—remember? There you were smiling 負かす／撃墜する from Teddy's canvas. The critics had a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定 to say about his colouring and technique and 'feeling' and all that sort of jargon. But one said, 'The smile on the girl's 直面する will become as famous as Mona Lisa's.' I've seen that very smile on your 直面する a hundred times, Emily—特に when you were seeing that unseeable thing you used to call your flash. Teddy has caught the very soul of it—not a mocking, challenging smile like Mona Lisa's—but a smile that seems to hint at some exquisitely wonderful secret you could tell if you liked—some whisper eternal—a secret that would make every one happy if they could only get you to tell it. It's only a trick, I suppose—you don't know that secret any more than the 残り／休憩（する） of us. But the smile 示唆するs that you do—示唆するs it marvellously. Yes, your Teddy has genius—that smile 証明するs it. What does it feel like, Emily, to realize yourself the inspiration of a genius? I'd give years of my life for such a compliment."
Emily didn't やめる know what it felt like. But she did feel a 確かな small, futile 怒り／怒る with Teddy. What 権利 had he who 軽蔑（する）d her love and was indifferent to her friendship to paint her 直面する—her soul—her secret 見通し—and hang it up for the world to gaze at? To be sure, he had told her in childhood that he meant to do it—and she had agreed then. But everything had changed since then. Everything.
井戸／弁護士席, about this story, regarding which Aunt Elizabeth had such an Oliver 新たな展開 コンビナート／複合体. Suppose she were to 令状 another one—suddenly the idea （機の）カム. Suppose she were to 拡大する it into a 調書をとる／予約する. Not like A 販売人 of Dreams, of course. That old glory could come 支援する no more. But Emily had an instantaneous 見通し of the new 調書をとる／予約する, as a whole—a witty, sparkling rill of human comedy. She ran 負かす／撃墜する to Aunt Elizabeth.
"Aunty, how would you like me to 令状 a 調書をとる／予約する for you about those people in my story? Just for you—a 一時期／支部 every day."
Aunt Elizabeth carefully hid the fact that she was 利益／興味d.
"Oh, you can if you want to. I wouldn't mind 審理，公聴会 about them. But mind, you are not to put any of the 隣人s in."
Emily didn't put any of the 隣人s in—she didn't need to. Characters galore 軍隊／機動隊d into her consciousness, 需要・要求するing a 地元の habitation and a 指名する. They laughed and scowled and wept and danced—and even made a little love. Aunt Elizabeth 許容するd this, supposing you couldn't have a novel without some of it. Emily read a 一時期／支部 every evening, and Aunt Laura and Cousin Jimmy were 許すd to hear it along with Aunt Elizabeth. Cousin Jimmy was in raptures. He was sure it was the most wonderful story ever written.
"I feel young again when I'm listening to you," he said.
"いつかs I want to laugh and いつかs I want to cry," 自白するd Aunt Laura. "I can't sleep for wondering what is going to happen to the Applegaths in the next 一時期／支部."
"It might be worse," 譲歩するd Aunt Elizabeth. "But I wish you'd 削減（する） out what you said about Gloria Applegath's greasy dish-towels. Mrs. Charlie 霜 of Derry Pond, will think you mean her. Her towels are always greasy."
"半導体素子s are bound to light somewhere," said Cousin Jimmy. "Gloria is funny in a 調書をとる／予約する, but she'd be awful to live with. Too busy saving the world. Somebody せねばならない tell her to read her Bible."
"I don't like Cissy Applegath, though," said Aunt Laura apologetically. "She has such a supercilious way of speaking."
"A shallow-pated creature," said Aunt Elizabeth.
"It's old 足緒 Applegath I can't 許容する," said Cousin Jimmy ひどく. "A man who would kick a cat just to relieve his feelings! I'd go twenty miles to 非難する the old he-devil's 直面する. But"—hopefully—"maybe he'll die before long."
"Or 改革（する）," 示唆するd Aunt Laura mercifully.
"No, no, don't let him 改革（する）," said Cousin Jimmy anxiously. "Kill him off, if necessary, but don't 改革（する） him. I wish, though, you'd change the colour of Peg Applegath's 注目する，もくろむs. I don't like green 注目する，もくろむs—never did."
"But I can't change them. They are green," 抗議するd Emily.
"井戸／弁護士席, then, Abraham Applegath's whiskers," pleaded Cousin Jimmy. "I like Abraham. He's a gay dog. Can't he help his whiskers, Emily?"
"No"—堅固に—"he can't."
Why couldn't they understand? Abraham had whiskers—手配中の，お尋ね者 whiskers—was 決定するd to have whiskers. She couldn't change him.
"It's time we remembered that these people have no real 存在," rebuked Aunt Elizabeth.
But once—Emily counted it her greatest 勝利—Aunt Elizabeth laughed. She was so ashamed of it she would not even smile all the 残り／休憩（する） of the reading.
"Elizabeth thinks God doesn't like to hear us laugh," Cousin Jimmy whispered behind his 手渡す to Laura. If Elizabeth had not been lying there with a broken 脚 Laura would have smiled. But to smile under the circumstances seemed like taking an 不公平な advantage of her.
Cousin Jimmy went downstairs shaking his 長，率いる and murmuring, "How does she do it? How does she do it! I can 令状 poetry—but this. Those folks are alive!"
One of them was too much alive in Aunt Elizabeth's opinion.
"That Nicholas Applegath is too much like old Douglas Courcy, of Shrewsbury," she said. "I told you not to put any people we knew in it."
"Why, I never saw Douglas Courcy."
"It's him to the life. Even Jimmy noticed it. You must 削減（する） him out, Emily."
But Emily obstinately 辞退するd to "削減（する） him out." Old Nicholas was one of the best characters in her 調書をとる／予約する. She was very much 吸収するd in it by this time. The composition of it was never the ecstatic 儀式 the 創造 of A 販売人 of Dreams had been, but it was very fascinating. She forgot all 悩ますing and haunting things while she was 令状ing it. The last 一時期／支部 was finished the very day the splints were taken off Aunt Elizabeth's 脚 and she was carried 負かす／撃墜する to the kitchen lounge.
"井戸／弁護士席, your story has helped," she 認める. "But I'm thankful to be where I can keep my 注目する，もくろむ on things once more. What are you going to do with your 調書をとる／予約する? What are you going to call it?"
"The Moral of the Rose."
"I don't think that is a good 肩書を与える at all. I don't know what it means—nobody will know."
"No 事柄. That is the 調書をとる／予約する's 指名する."
Aunt Elizabeth sighed.
"I don't know where you get your stubbornness from, Emily. I'm sure I don't. You never would take advice. And I know the Courcys will never speak to us again, after the 調書をとる／予約する is published."
"The 調書をとる／予約する hasn't any chance of 存在 published," said Emily gloomily. "They'll send it 支援する, 'damned with faint 賞賛する.'"
Aunt Elizabeth had never heard this 表現 before and she thought Emily had 起こる／始まるd it and was 存在 profane.
"Emily," she said 厳しく, "don't let me ever hear such a word from your lips again. I've more than 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd Ilse of such language—that poor girl never got over her 早期に bringing up—she's not to be 裁判官d by our 基準s. But Murrays of New Moon do not 断言する."
"It was only a quotation, Aunt Elizabeth," said Emily wearily.
She was tired—a little tired of everything. It was Christmas now and a long, dreary winter stretched before her—an empty, aimless winter. Nothing seemed 価値（がある） while—not even finding a publisher for The Moral of the Rose.
However, she typewrote it faithfully and sent it out. It （機の）カム 支援する. She sent it out again, three times. It （機の）カム 支援する. She retyped it—the MS. was getting dog-eared—and sent it out again. At intervals all that winter and summer she sent it out, working doggedly through a 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of possible publishers. I forget how many times she retyped it. It became a sort of a joke—a bitter joke.
The worst of it was that the New Moon folk knew of all these 拒絶s and their sympathy and indignation were hard to 耐える. Cousin Jimmy was so angry over every 拒絶 of this masterpiece that he could not eat for a day afterwards and she gave up telling him of the 旅行s. Once she thought of sending it to 行方不明になる 王室の and asking her if she had any 影響（力） to use. But the Murray pride would not brook the idea. Finally in the autumn when it returned from the last publisher on her 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） Emily did not even open the 小包. She cast it contemptuously into a compartment of her desk.
Too sick at heart to war
With 失敗 any more.
"That's the end of it—and of all my dreams. I'll use it up for scribbling paper. And now I'll settle 負かす／撃墜する to a tepid 存在 of マリファナ-boiling."
As least magazine editors were more appreciative than 調書をとる／予約する publishers—as Cousin Jimmy indignantly said, they appeared to have more sense. While her 調書をとる／予約する was 捜し出すing vainly for its chance her magazine clientele grew daily. She spent long hours at her desk and enjoyed her work after a fashion. But there was a little consciousness of 失敗 under it all. She could never get much higher on the Alpine path. The glorious city of fulfilment on its 首脳会議 was not for her. マリファナ-boiling! That was all. Making a living in what Aunt Elizabeth thought was a shamefully 平易な way.
行方不明になる 王室の wrote her 率直に that she was 落ちるing off.
"You're getting into a rut, Emily," she 警告するd, "A self-満足させるd rut. The 賞賛 of Aunt Laura and Cousin Jimmy is a bad thing for you. You should be here—we would keep you up to the scratch."
Suppose she had gone to New York with 行方不明になる 王室の when she had the chance six years ago. Would she not have been able to get her 調書をとる／予約する published? Was it not the 致命的な Prince Edward Island postmark that 非難するd it—the little out-of-the-world 州 from which no good thing could ever come?
Perhaps! Perhaps 行方不明になる 王室の had been 権利. But what did it 事柄?
No one （機の）カム to Blair Water that summer. That is—Teddy Kent did not come. Ilse was in Europe again. Dean Priest seemed to have taken up his 住居 永久的に at the 太平洋の Coast. Life at New Moon went on 不変の. Except that Aunt Elizabeth limped a little and Cousin Jimmy's hair turned white やめる suddenly, 夜通し as it seemed. Now and then Emily had a quick, terrible 見通し that Cousin Jimmy was growing old. They were all growing old. Aunt Elizabeth was nearly seventy. And when she died New Moon went to Andrew. Already there were times when Andrew seemed to be putting on proprietary 空気／公表するs in his visits to New Moon. Not that he would ever live there himself, of course. But it せねばならない be kept in good 形態／調整 against the day when it would be necessary to sell it.
"It's time those old Lombardies were 削減（する） 負かす／撃墜する," said Andrew to Uncle Oliver one day. "They're getting frightfully ragged at the 最高の，を越すs. Lombardies are so out of date now. And that field with the young spruces should be drained and ploughed."
"That old orchard should be （疑いを）晴らすd out," said Uncle Oliver. "It's more like a ジャングル than an orchard. The trees are too old for any good anyhow. They should all be chopped 負かす／撃墜する. Jimmy and Elizabeth are too old-fashioned. They don't make half the money out of this farm they should."
Emily, overhearing this, clenched her 握りこぶしs. To see New Moon desecrated—her old, intimate, beloved trees 削減（する） 負かす／撃墜する—the spruce field where wild strawberries grew 改善するd out of 存在—dreamy beauty of the old orchard destroyed—the little dells and slopes that kept all the ghostly joys of her past changed—altered. It was unbearable.
"If you had married Andrew New Moon would have been yours," said Aunt Elizabeth 激しく, when she 設立する Emily crying over what they had said.
"But the changes would have come just the same," said Emily. "Andrew wouldn't have listened to me. He believes that the husband is the 長，率いる of the wife."
"You will be twenty-four your next birthday," said Aunt Elizabeth. Apropos of what?
"OCT. 1, 19—
"This afternoon I sat at my window and alternately wrote at my new serial and watched a couple of dear, amusing, youngish maple-trees at the foot of the garden. They whispered secrets to each other all the afternoon. They would bend together and talk 真面目に for a few moments, then spring 支援する and look at each other, throwing up their 手渡すs comically in horror and amazement over their 相互の 発覚s. I wonder what new スキャンダル is 進行中で in Treeland."
"OCT. 10, 19—
"This evening was lovely. I went up on the hill and walked about until twilight had 深くするd into an autumn night with a benediction of starry quietude over it. I was alone but not lonely. I was a queen in halls of fancy. I held a 一連の conversations with imaginary comrades and thought out so many epigrams that I was agreeably surprised at myself."
"OCT. 28, 19—
"To-night I was out for one of my long walks. In a weird, purple, shadowy world, with 広大な／多数の／重要な, 冷淡な clouds piling up above a yellow sky, hills brooding in the silence of forsaken 支持を得ようと努めるd, ocean 宙返り／暴落するing on a rocky shore. The whole landscape seemed
As those who wait
Till judgment speak the doom of 運命／宿命.
"It made me feel—horribly alone.
"What a creature of moods I am!
"'Fickle,' as Aunt Elizabeth says? Temperamental,' as Andrew says?"
"NOV. 5, 19—
"What a fit of bad temper the world has indulged in! Day before yesterday she was not unbeautiful—a dignified old dame in fitting garb of brown and ermine. Yesterday she tried to ape juvenility, putting on all the 空気／公表するs and graces of spring, with scarfs of blue 煙霧s. And what a bedraggled and uncomely old hag she was, all tatters and wrinkles. She grew peevish then over her own ugliness and has 激怒（する）d all night and day. I awakened up in the 少しの sma's and heard the 勝利，勝つd shrieking in the trees and 涙／ほころびs of 激怒（する） and spite sleeting against the pane."
"NOV. 23, 19—
"This is the second day of a 激しい, ceaseless autumn rain. Really, it has rained almost every day this November. We had no mail to-day. The outside world is a dismal one, with drenched and dripping trees and sodden fields. And the damp and gloom have crept into my soul and spirit and sapped out all life and energy.
"I could not read, eat, sleep, 令状 or do anything, unless I drove myself to do it and then I felt as if I were trying to do it with somebody else's 手渡すs or brain and couldn't work very 井戸／弁護士席 with them. I feel lustreless, dowdy and uninviting—I even bore myself.
"I shall grow mossy in this 存在!
"There! I feel better for that little 爆発 of discontent. It has 排除する／（飛行機などから）緊急脱出するd something from my system. I know that into everybody's life must come some days of 不景気 and discouragement when all things in life seem to lose savour. The sunniest day has its clouds; but one must not forget that the sun is there all the time.
"How 平易な it is to be a philosopher—on paper!
"(Item:—If you are out in a 冷淡な, 注ぐing rain, does it keep you 乾燥した，日照りの to remember that the sun is there just the same?)
"井戸／弁護士席, thank heaven no two days are ever 正確に／まさに alike!"
"DEC. 3, 19—
"There was a 嵐の, unrestful sunset to-night, behind the pale, blanched hills, gleaming 怒って through the Lombardies and the dark モミ-boughs in Lofty John's bush, that were now and again 投げ上げる／ボディチェックするd suddenly and distressfully in a fitful gust of 勝利，勝つd. I sat at my window and watched it. Below in the garden it was やめる dark and I could only see dimly the dead leaves that were whirling and dancing uncannily over the flowerless paths. The poor dead leaves—yet not やめる dead, it seemed. There was still enough unquiet life left in them to make them restless and forlorn. They harkened yet to every call of the 勝利，勝つd, which cared for them no longer but only played freakishly with them and broke their 残り／休憩（する）. I felt sorry for the leaves as I watched them in the dull, weird twilight, and angry—in a petulant fashion that almost made me laugh—with the 勝利，勝つd that would not leave them in peace. Why should they—and I—be 悩ますd with these transient, 熱烈な breaths of 願望（する） for a life which has passed us by?
"I have not heard even from Ilse for a long time. She has forgotten me, too."
"JAN. 10, 19—
"As I （機の）カム home from the 地位，任命する-office this evening—with three 受託s—I revelled in the winter loveliness around me. It was so very 静める and still; the low sun cast such pure, pale 色合いs of pink and heliotrope over the snow; and the 広大な／多数の／重要な, pale-silver moon peeping over the Delectable Mountain was such a friend of 地雷.
"How much difference in one's 見通し three 受託s make!"
"JAN. 20, 19—
"The nights are so dreary now and there is such a 簡潔な／要約する space of grey, sunless day. I work and think all day and, when night comes 負かす／撃墜する 早期に, gloom settles on my soul. I can't 述べる the feeling. It is dreadful—worse than any actual 苦痛. In so far as I can 表明する it in words I feel a 広大な／多数の／重要な and awful weariness—not of 団体／死体 or brain but of feeling, coupled with a haunting dread of the 未来—any 未来—even a happy one—nay, a happy one most of all, for in this strange mood it seems to me that to be happy would 要求する more 成果／努力—more buoyancy than I shall 所有する. The fantastic 形態／調整 my 恐れる assumes is that it would be too much trouble to be happy—要求する too much energy.
"Let me be honest—in this 定期刊行物 if nowhere else. I know やめる 井戸／弁護士席 what is the 事柄 with me. This afternoon I was rummaging in my old trunk in the garret and 設立する a packet of the letters Teddy wrote the first year he was in Montreal. I was foolish enough to sit 負かす／撃墜する and read them all. It was a mad thing to do. I am 支払う／賃金ing for it now. Such letters have a terrible resurrective 力／強力にする. I am surrounded by bitter fancies and unbidden ghosts—the little spectral joys of the past."
"FEB. 5, 19—
"Life never seems the same to me as it used to. Something is gone. I am not unhappy. But life seems a sort of 消極的な 事件／事情／状勢. I enjoy it on the whole and have many beautiful moments. I have success—at least a sort of success—in growing 手段 and a keen 評価 of all the world and the times 申し込む／申し出 for delight and 利益／興味. But underneath it all is the haunting sense of emptiness. This is all because '十分な 膝-深い lies the winter snow' and I can't go a-prowling. Wait till a 雪解け comes, when I can get out to the balm of the モミ-trees and the peace of the white places and the 'strength of the hills'—what a beautiful old Biblical phrase that is!—and I shall be made whole once more."
"FEB. 6, 19—
"Last night I 簡単に could not 耐える any longer the vaseful of dyed grasses on my mantelpiece. What if they had been there for forty years! I 掴むd them, opened the window and まき散らすd them over the lawn. This soothed me so that I slept like an 幼児. But this morning Cousin Jimmy had gathered them all up and 手渡すd them 内密に 支援する to me with a gentle 警告 not to let them 'blow out' again. Elizabeth would be horrified.
"I put them 支援する in the vase. One cannot escape one's kismet."
"FEB. 22, 19—
"There was a creamy, misty sunset this evening and then moonlight. Such moonlight. It is such a night as one might 落ちる asleep in and dream happy dreams of gardens and songs and companionship, feeling all the while through one's sleep the splendour and radiance of the white moon-world outside as one hears soft, far-away music sounding through the thoughts and words that are born of it.
"I slipped away for a 独房監禁 walk through that fairy world of glamour. I went through the orchard where the 黒人／ボイコット 影をつくる／尾行するs of the trees fell over the snow—I went up to the gleaming white hill with the 星／主役にするs over it, I lurked along モミ copses 薄暗い with mystery and along still, 支持を得ようと努めるd aisles where the night hid from the moonshine, I loitered across a dreamland field of ebon and ivory. I had a tryst with my friend of old days, the 勝利，勝つd Woman. And every breath was a lyric and every thought an ecstasy and I've come 支援する with a soul washed white and clean in the 広大な／多数の／重要な 水晶 bath of the night.
"But Aunt Elizabeth said people would think me crazy if they saw me roaming around alone at this hour of the night. And Aunt Laura made me take a drink of hot 黒人／ボイコット currant decoction lest I might have taken 冷淡な. Only Cousin Jimmy partly understood.
"'You went out to escape. I know,' he whispered.
'My soul has pastured with the 星／主役にするs
Upon the meadowlands of space.'
I whispered in return."
"FEB. 26, 19—
"Jasper 霜 has been coming out here from Shrewsbury of late. I don't think he will come any more—after our conversation of last night. He told me he loved me with a love 'that would last through eternity.' But I thought an eternity with Jasper would be rather long. Aunt Elizabeth will be a little disappointed, poor dear. She likes Jasper and the 霜s are 'a good family.' I like him, too, but he is too prim and bandboxy.
"'Would you like a slovenly beau?' 需要・要求するd Aunt Elizabeth.
"This 提起する／ポーズをとるd me. Because I wouldn't.
"'Surely there's a happy medium,' I 抗議するd.
"'A girl shouldn't be too particular when she is'—I feel sure Aunt Elizabeth was going to say 'nearly twenty-four.' But she changed it to 'not 完全に perfect herself.'
"I wish Mr. Carpenter had been alive to hear Aunt Elizabeth's italics. They were 殺人，大当り."
"MARCH 1, 19—
"A wonderful music of night is coming to my window from Lofty John's bush. No, not Lofty John's bush any more.
"Emily Byrd Starr's bush!
"I bought it to-day, with the proceeds of my 最新の serial. And it is 地雷—地雷—地雷. All the lovely things in it are 地雷—its moonlit vistas—the grace of its one big elm against the starlight—its shadowy little dells—its June-bells and ferns—its crystalline spring—its 勝利，勝つd music sweeter than an old Cremona. No one can ever 削減（する） it 負かす／撃墜する or desecrate it in any way.
"I am so happy. The 勝利，勝つd is my comrade and the evening 星／主役にする my friend."
"MARCH 23, 19—
"Is there any sound in the world sadder and weirder than the wail of the 勝利，勝つd around the eaves and past the windows on a 嵐の night? It sounds as if the broken-hearted cries of fair, unhappy women who died and were forgotten ages ago were 存在 re-echoed in the moaning 勝利，勝つd of to-night. All my own past 苦痛 finds a 発言する／表明する in it as if it were moaning a 嘆願 for re-入り口 into the soul that has cast it out. There are strange sounds in that night 勝利，勝つd clamouring there at my little window. I hear the cries of old 悲しみs in it—and the moans of old despairs—and the phantom songs of dead hopes. The night 勝利，勝つd is the wandering soul of the past. It has no 株 in the 未来—and so it is mournful."
"APRIL 10, 19—
"This morning I felt more like myself than I have for a long time. I was out for a walk over the Delectable Mountain. It was a very 穏やかな, still, misty morning with lovely pearl-grey skies and smell of spring in the 空気／公表する. Every turn and 新たな展開 on that hill-road was an old friend to me. And everything was so young. April couldn't be old. The young spruces were so green and companionable with pearl-like beads of moisture fringing their needles.
"'You are 地雷,' called the sea beyond Blair Water.
"'We have a 株 in her,' said the hills.
"'She is my sister,' said a jolly little モミ-tree.
"Looking at them the flash （機の）カム—my old supernal moment that has come so sadly seldom these past dreary months. Will I lose it altogether as I grow old? Will nothing but 'the light of ありふれた day' be 地雷 then?
"But at least it （機の）カム to me this morning and I felt my immortality. After all, freedom is a 事柄 of the soul.
'Nature never did betray the heart that loved her.'
"She has always a gift of 傷をいやす／和解させるing for us if we come 謙虚に to her. Corroding memories and discontents 消えるd. I felt suddenly that some old gladness was yet waiting for me, just around the curve of the hill.
"The frogs are singing to-night. Why is frog such a funny, dear, charming, absurd word?"
"MAY 15, 19—
"I know that when I am dead I shall sleep peaceably enough under the grasses through the summer and autumn and winter but when spring comes my heart will throb and 動かす in my sleep and call wistfully to all the 発言する／表明するs calling far and wide in the world above me. Spring and morning were laughing to each other to-day and I went out to them and made a third.
"Ilse wrote to-day—a stingy little letter as far as news went—and spoke of coming home.
"'I'm homesick,' she wrote. 'Are the wild birds still singing in the Blair Water 支持を得ようと努めるd and are the waves still calling beyond the dunes? I want them. And oh, to see the moon rise over the harbour as we watched it do 得点する／非難する／２０s of times when we were children. And I want to see you. Letters are so unsatisfactory. There are so many things I'd like to talk over with you. Do you know I felt a little old to-day. It was a curious sensation.'
"She never について言及するd Teddy's 指名する. But she asked 'Is it true that Perry Miller is engaged to 裁判官 Elmsley's daughter?'
"I don't think it is. But the mere 報告（する）／憶測 shows where Perry has climbed to already."
On her twenty-fourth birthday Emily opened and read the letter she had written "from herself at fourteen to herself at twenty-four." It was not the amusing 業績／成果 she had once 推定する／予想するd it to be. She sat long at her window with the letter in her 手渡す, watching the light of yellow, 沈むing 星／主役にするs over the bush that was still called Lofty John's oftener than not, from old habit. What would pop out when she opened that letter? A ghost of first 青年? Of ambition? Of 消えるd love? Of lost friendship? Emily felt she would rather 燃やす the letter than read it. But that would be 臆病な／卑劣な. One must 直面する things—even ghosts. With a sudden quick movement she 削減（する） open the envelope and took out the letter.
A whiff of old fragrance （機の）カム with it. 倍のd in it were some 乾燥した，日照りのd rose-leaves—crisp brown things that 崩壊するd to dust under her touch. Yes, she remembered that rose—Teddy had brought it to her one evening when they had been children together and he had been so proud of that first red rose that bloomed on a little house rose-bush Dr. Burnley had given him—the only rose that ever did bloom on it, for that 事柄. His mother had resented his love for the little 工場／植物. One night it was accidentally knocked off the window-sill and broken. If Teddy thought or knew there was any 関係 between the two facts he never said so. Emily had kept the rose as long as possible in a little vase on her 熟考する／考慮する （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する; but the night she had written her letter she had taken the limp, faded thing and 倍のd it—with a kiss—between the sheets of paper. She had forgotten that it was there; and now it fell in her 手渡す, faded, unbeautiful, like the rose-hopes of long ago, yet with some faint bitter-sweetness still about it. The whole letter seemed 十分な of it—whether of sense or spirit she could hardly tell.
This letter was, she 厳しく told herself, a foolish, romantic 事件／事情／状勢. Something to be laughed at. Emily carefully laughed at some parts of it. How 天然のまま—how silly—how sentimental—how amusing! Had she really ever been young and callow enough to 令状 such flowery exultant nonsense? And one would have thought, too, that fourteen regarded twenty-four as 瀬戸際ing on venerable.
"Have you written your 広大な／多数の／重要な 調書をとる／予約する?" airily asked Fourteen in 結論. "Have you climbed to the very 最高の，を越す of the Alpine Path? Oh, Twenty-four, I'm envying you. It must be splendid to be you. Are you looking 支援する patronizingly and pityingly to me? You wouldn't swing on a gate now, would you? Are you a staid old married woman with several children, living in the Disappointed House with One-You-Know-Of? Only don't be stodgy, I implore you, dear Twenty-four. And do be 劇の. I love 劇の things and people. Are you Mrs. ——— ———? What 指名する will fill those blanks? Oh, dear Twenty-four, I put into this letter for you a kiss—and a handful of moonshine—and the soul of a rose—and some of the green sweetness of the old hill field—and a whiff of wild violets. I hope you are happy and famous and lovely; and I hope you 港／避難所't やめる forgotten
"Your foolish
"OLD SELF."
Emily locked the letter away.
"So much for that nonsense," she said scoffingly.
Then she sat 負かす／撃墜する in her 議長，司会を務める, and dropped her 長，率いる on her desk. Little silly, dreamy, happy, ignorant Fourteen! Always thinking that something 広大な／多数の／重要な and wonderful and beautiful lay in the years ahead. やめる sure that the "mountain purple" could be reached. やめる sure that dreams always （機の）カム true. Foolish Fourteen, who yet had known how to be happy.
"I'm envying you," said Emily. "I wish I had never opened your letter, foolish little Fourteen. Go 支援する to your shadowy past and don't come again—mocking me. I'm going to have a white night because of you. I'm going to 嘘（をつく） awake all night and pity myself."
Yet already the footsteps of 運命 were sound-on the stairs—though Emily thought they were only Cousin Jimmy's.
He had come to bring her a letter—a thin letter—and if Emily had not been too much 吸収するd in herself at fourteen she might have noticed that Cousin Jimmy's 注目する，もくろむs were as 有望な as a cat's and that an 空気／公表する of ill-隠すd excitement pervaded his whole 存在. Moreover that, when she had thanked him absently for the letter and gone 支援する to her desk, he remained in the shadowy hall outside, watching her slyly through the half-open door. At first he thought she was not going to open the letter—she had flung it 負かす／撃墜する indifferently and sat 星／主役にするing at it. Cousin Jimmy went nearly mad with impatience.
But after a few minutes more of absent musing Emily roused herself with a sigh and stretched out a 手渡す for the letter.
"If I don't 行方不明になる my guess, dear little Emily, you won't sigh when you read what's in that letter," thought Cousin Jimmy exultantly.
Emily looked at the return 演説（する）／住所 in the upper corner, wondering what the Wareham Publishing Company were 令状ing to her about. The big Warehams! The oldest and most important publishing house in America. A circular of some 肉親，親類d, probably. Then she 設立する herself 星／主役にするing incredulously at the typewritten sheet—while Cousin Jimmy 成し遂げるd a noiseless dance on Aunt Elizabeth's braided rug out in the hall.
"I—don't—understand," gasped Emily.
DEAR MISS STARR:—
We take 楽しみ in advising you that our readers 報告（する）／憶測 favourably with regard to your story The Moral of the Rose and if 相互に 満足な 手はず／準備 can be made we shall be glad to 追加する the 調書をとる／予約する to our next season's 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）s. We shall also be 利益／興味d in 審理，公聴会 of your 計画（する）s with regard to 未来 令状ing.
Very 心から yours, etc.
"I don't understand—" said Emily again.
Cousin Jimmy could 持つ／拘留する himself in no longer. He made a sound between a whoop and hurrah. Emily flew across the room and dragged him in.
"Cousin Jimmy, what does this mean? You must know something about it—how did the House of Wareham ever get my 調書をとる／予約する?"
"Have they really 受託するd it?" 需要・要求するd Cousin Jimmy.
"Yes. And I never sent it to them. I wouldn't have supposed it was the least use—the Warehams. Am I dreaming?"
"No. I'll tell you—don't be mad now, Emily. You mind Elizabeth asked me to tidy up the garret a month ago. I was moving that old cardboard box you keep a lot of stuff in and the 底（に届く） fell out. Everything went—so—all over the garret. I gathered 'em up—and your 調書をとる／予約する manuscript was の中で 'em. I happened to look at a page—and then I 始める，決める 負かす／撃墜する—and Elizabeth （機の）カム up an hour later and 設立する me still a-sitting there on my hams reading. I'd forgot everything. My, but she was mad! The garret not half done and dinner ready. But I didn't mind what she said—I was thinking, 'If that 調書をとる／予約する made me forget everything like that there's something in it. I'll send it somewhere.' And I didn't know anywhere to send it but to the Warehams. I'd always heard of them. And I didn't know how to send it—but I just stuffed it in an old cracker box and mailed it to them offhand."
"Didn't you even send stamps for its return?" gasped Emily, horrified.
"No, never thought of it. Maybe that's why they took it. Maybe the other 会社／堅いs sent it 支援する because you sent stamps."
"Hardly." Emily laughed and 設立する herself crying.
"Emily, you ain't mad at me, are you?"
"No—no—darling—I'm only so flabbergasted, as you say yourself, that I don't know what to say or do. It's all so—the Warehams!"
"I've been watching the mails ever since," chuckled Cousin Jimmy. "Elizabeth has been thinking I've gone （疑いを）晴らす daft at last. If the story had come 支援する I was going to 密輸する it 支援する to the garret—I wasn't going to let you know. But when I saw that thin envelope—I remembered you said once the thin envelopes always had good news—dear little Emily, don't cry!"
"I can't—help it—and oh, I'm sorry for what I called you, little Fourteen. You weren't silly—you were wise—you knew."
"It's gone to her 長，率いる a little," said Cousin Jimmy to himself. "No wonder—after so many 始める，決める-支援するs. But she'll soon be やめる sensible again."
Teddy and Ilse were coming home for a 簡潔な／要約する ten days in July. How was it, wondered Emily, that they always （機の）カム together? That couldn't be just a coincidence. She dreaded the visit and wished it were over. It would be good to see Ilse again—somehow she could never feel a stranger with Ilse. No 事柄 how long she was away, the moment she （機の）カム 支援する you 設立する the old Ilse. But she did not want to see Teddy. Teddy who had forgotten her. Who had never written since he went away last. Teddy who was already famous, as a painter of lovely women. So famous and so successful that—Ilse wrote—he was going to give up magazine work. Emily felt a 確かな 救済 when she read that. She would no longer dread to open a magazine lest she see her own 直面する—or soul—looking at her out of some illustration—with "Frederick Kent" scrawled in the corner, as if to say "know all men by these 現在のs that this girl is 地雷." Emily resented いっそう少なく the pictures which looked like her whole 直面する than the ones in which only the 注目する，もくろむs were hers. To be able to paint her 注目する，もくろむs like that Teddy must know everything that was in her soul. The thought always filled her with fury and shame—and a sense of horrible helplessness. She would not—could not—tell Teddy to stop using her as a model. She had never stooped to 認める to him that she had noticed any resemblance to herself in his illustrations—she never would stoop.
And now he was coming home—might be home any time. If only she could go away—on any pretence—for a few weeks. 行方不明になる 王室の was wanting her to go to New York for a visit. But it would never do to go away when Ilse was coming.
井戸／弁護士席—Emily shook herself. What an idiot she was! Teddy was coming home, a dutiful son, to see his mother—and he would doubtless be glad enough to see old friends when their actual presence 解任するd them to his memory; and why should there be anything difficult about it? She must get rid of this absurd self-consciousness. She would.
She was sitting at her open window. The night outside was like a dark, 激しい, perfumed flower. An expectant night—a night when things ーするつもりであるd to happen. Very still. Only the loveliest of muted sounds—the faintest whisper of trees, the airiest sigh of 勝利，勝つd, the half-heard, half-felt moan of the sea.
"Oh, beauty!" whispered Emily, passionately, 解除するing her 手渡すs to the 星／主役にするs. "What would I have done without you all these years?"
Beauty of night—and perfume—and mystery. Her soul was filled with it. There was, just then, room for nothing else. She bent out, 解除するing her 直面する to the jewelled sky—rapt, ecstatic.
Then she heard it. A soft, silvery signal in Lofty John's bush—two higher 公式文書，認めるs and one long, low one—the old, old call that would once have sent her with 飛行機で行くing feet to the 影をつくる／尾行するs of the モミs.
Emily sat as if turned to 石／投石する, her white 直面する でっちあげる，人を罪に陥れるd in the vines that clustered 一連の会議、交渉／完成する her window. He was there—Teddy was there—in Lofty John's bush—waiting for her—calling to her as of old. 推定する／予想するing her!
Almost she had sprung to her feet—almost she had run downstairs and out to the 影をつくる／尾行するs—the beautiful, perfumed 影をつくる／尾行するs where he was waiting for her. But—
Was he only trying to see if he still had the old 力／強力にする over her?
He had gone away two years ago without even a written word of 別れの（言葉，会）. Would the Murray pride 容赦する that? Would the Murray pride run to 会合，会う the man who had held her of so little account? The Murray pride would not. Emily's young 直面する took on lines of stubborn 決意 in the 薄暗い light. She would not go. Let him call as he might. "Whistle and I'll come to you, my lad," indeed! No more of that for Emily Byrd Starr. Teddy Kent need not imagine that he could come and go as went the years and find her meekly waiting to answer his lordly signal.
Again the call （機の）カム—twice. He was there—so の近くに to her. In a moment if she liked, she could be beside him—her 手渡すs in his—his 注目する，もくろむs looking into hers—perhaps—
He had gone away without 説 good-bye to her!
Emily rose deliberately and lighted her lamp. She sat 負かす／撃墜する at her desk 近づく the window, took up her pen and fell to 令状ing—or a 外見 of 令状ing. 刻々と she wrote—next day she 設立する sheets covered with aimless repetitions of old poems learned in school-days—and as she wrote she listened. Would the call come again? Once more? It did not. When she was やめる sure it was not coming again she put out her light and lay 負かす／撃墜する on her bed with her 直面する in the pillow. Pride was やめる 満足させるd. She had shown him she was not to be whistled off and on. Oh, how thankful she felt that she had been 会社／堅い enough not to go. For which 推論する／理由, no 疑問, her pillow was wet with savage 涙／ほころびs.
He （機の）カム next night—with Ilse—in his new car. And there was handshaking and gaiety and laughter—oh, a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定 of laughter. Ilse was looking radiant in a big yellow hat trimmed with crimson roses. One of those preposterous hats only Ilse could get away with. How unlike the neglected, almost ragged Ilse of olden days. Yet just as lovable as ever. Nobody could help loving Ilse. Teddy was charming, too—with just the 権利 量 of mingled 利益／興味 and detachment an old 居住（者） coming 支援する to childhood's home would 自然に feel. 利益／興味d in everything and everybody. Oh, yes, indeed, hugely! Ilse tells me you're bringing out a 調書をとる／予約する. 資本／首都. What's it about? Must get a copy. Blair Water やめる 不変の. Delightful to come 支援する to a place where time seems to stand still.
Emily almost thought she must have dreamed the whistle in Lofty John's bush.
But she went for a 運動 to Priest Pond with him and Ilse—and made やめる a sensation, for cars were still 広大な／多数の／重要な novelties thereabouts. And they had a merry, delightful time—then and for the few remaining days of their visit. Ilse had meant to stay three weeks but 設立する she could stay only five days. And Teddy, who seemed to be master of his own time, decided to stay no longer, too. And they both （機の）カム over to say good-bye to Emily and all went for a 別れの（言葉，会） moonlit spin—and laughed a 広大な／多数の／重要な 取引，協定—and Ilse, with a 抱擁する, 宣言するd it was just like old times and Teddy agreed.
"If only Perry had been 一連の会議、交渉／完成する," he 修正するd. "I'm sorry not to have seen old Perry. They tell me he is getting on like a house afire."
Perry had gone to the Coast on 商売／仕事 for his 会社／堅い. Emily bragged a little about him and his success. Teddy Kent need not suppose he was the only one who was arriving.
"Are his manners any better than they used to be?" asked Ilse.
"His manners are good enough for us simple Prince Edward Islanders," said Emily, nastily.
"Oh, 井戸／弁護士席, I 収容する／認める I never saw him 選ぶ his teeth in public," 譲歩するd Ilse. "Do you know"—with a sly, sidelong ちらりと見ること at Teddy which Emily 即時に noticed—"once I fancied myself やめる in love with Perry Miller."
"Lucky Perry!" said Teddy with what seemed a 静かな smile of 満足させるd understanding.
Ilse did not kiss Emily good-bye, but she shook 手渡すs very cordially as did Teddy. Emily was thanking her 星／主役にするs, in 本物の earnest this time, that she had not gone to Teddy when he whistled—if he ever had whistled. They drove gaily off 負かす／撃墜する the 小道／航路. But when a few moments later Emily turned into New Moon there were 飛行機で行くing footsteps behind her and she was enveloped in a silken embrace.
"Emily darling, good-bye. I love you as much as ever—but everything is so horribly changed—and we can never find the Islands of Enchantment again. I wish I hadn't come home at all—but say you love me and always will. I couldn't 耐える it if you didn't."
"Of course I'll always love you, Ilse."
They kissed lingeringly—almost sadly—の中で the faint, 冷淡な, 甘い perfumes of night. Ilse went 負かす／撃墜する the 小道／航路 to where Teddy was purring and scintillating for her—or his car was—and Emily went into New Moon where her two old aunts and Cousin Jimmy were waiting for her.
"I wonder if Ilse and Teddy will ever be married," said Aunt Laura.
"It's time Ilse was settling 負かす／撃墜する," said Aunt Elizabeth.
"Poor Ilse," said Cousin Jimmy inexplainably.
One late, lovely autumn day in November Emily walked home from the Blair Water 地位，任命する-office with a letter from Ilse and a 小包. She was athrill with an intoxication of excitement that easily passed for happiness. The whole day had been a strangely, unreasonably delightful one of 熟した 日光 on the sere hills, faint, grape-like bloom on the faraway 支持を得ようと努めるd and a soft, blue sky with little wisps of grey cloud like cast-off 隠すs. Emily had wakened in the morning from a dream of Teddy—the dear, friendly Teddy of the old days—and all day she had been haunted by an 半端物 sense of his nearness. It seemed as if his footstep sounded at her 味方する and as if she might come upon him suddenly when she 一連の会議、交渉／完成するd a spruce-fringed curve in the red road or went 負かす／撃墜する into some sunny hollow where the ferns were 厚い and golden—find him smiling at her with no 影をつくる／尾行する of change between them, the years of 追放する and alienation forgotten. She had not really thought much about him for a long while. The summer and autumn had been busy—she was hard at work on a new story—Ilse's letters had been few and scrappy. Why this sudden, irrational sense of his nearness? When she got Ilse's fat letter she was やめる sure there was some news of Teddy in it.
But it was the little 小包 that was 責任がある her excitement. It was stamped with the 調印する 手動式の of the House of Wareham and Emily knew what it must 持つ／拘留する. Her 調書をとる／予約する—her Moral of the Rose.
She hurried home by the cross-lots road—the little old road over which the vagabond wandered and the lover went to his lady and children to joy and tired men home—the road that linked up 結局 with the pasture field by the Blair Water and the Yesterday Road. Once in the grey-boughed 孤独 of the Yesterday Road Emily sat 負かす／撃墜する in a bay of brown bracken and opened her 小包.
There lay her 調書をとる／予約する. Her 調書をとる／予約する, spleet-new from the publishers. It was a proud, wonderful, thrilling moment. The crest of the Alpine Path at last? Emily 解除するd her 向こうずねing 注目する，もくろむs to the 深い blue November sky and saw 頂点（に達する） after 頂点（に達する） of sunlit azure still 非常に高い beyond. Always new 高さs of aspiration. One could never reach the 最高の，を越す really. But what a moment when one reached a 高原 and 見通し like this! What a reward for the long years of toil and endeavour and 失望 and discouragement.
But oh, for her unborn 販売人 of Dreams!
The excitement at New Moon that afternoon almost equalled Emily's own. Cousin Jimmy gave up unblushingly his 計画（する） of finishing the ploughing of the hill field to sit at home and gloat over the 調書をとる／予約する. Aunt Laura cried—of course—and Aunt Elizabeth looked indifferent, 単に 発言／述べるing in a トン of surprise that it was bound like a real 調書をとる／予約する. Evidently Aunt Elizabeth had been 推定する／予想するing paper covers. But she made some rather foolish mistakes in her quilt patches that afternoon and she did not once ask Jimmy why he wasn't ploughing. And when some 報知係s dropped in later on The Moral of the Rose was mysteriously on the parlour （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する, though it had been up on Emily's desk when Aunt Elizabeth saw the automobile 運動 into the yard. Aunt Elizabeth never について言及するd it and neither of the 報知係s noticed it. When they went away Aunt Elizabeth said witheringly that John Angus had いっそう少なく sense than ever he had and that for her part, if she were Cousin Margaret, she would not wear 着せる／賦与するs twenty years too young for her.
"An old ewe tricked out like a lamb," said Aunt Elizabeth contemptuously.
If they had done what was 推定する／予想するd of them in regard to The Moral of the Rose Aunt Elizabeth would probably have said that John Angus had always been a jovial, good-natured sort of creature and that it was really wonderful how Cousin Margaret had held her own.
In all the excitement Emily had—not 正確に／まさに forgotten Ilse's letter, but 手配中の，お尋ね者 to wait until things had settled 負かす／撃墜する a little before reading it. At twilight she went to her room and sat 負かす／撃墜する in the fading light. The 勝利，勝つd had changed at sunset and the evening was 冷淡な and 辛勝する／優位d. What Jimmy called a "skiff" of snow had fallen suddenly whitening the world and the withered, unlovely garden. But the 嵐／襲撃する-cloud had passed and the sky was （疑いを）晴らす and yellow over the white hills and dark モミs. The 半端物 perfume that Ilse always 影響する／感情d floated out of her letter when it was opened. Emily had always ばく然と disliked it. But then her taste 異なるd from Ilse's in the 事柄 of perfumes as in so many others. Ilse liked the exotic, oriental, 挑発的な odors. To the day of her death Emily will never catch a whiff of that perfume without turning 冷淡な and sick.
"正確に／まさに one thousand times have I planned to 令状 to you," wrote Ilse, "but when one is 回転するing 速く on the wheel of things there doesn't seem to be an 適切な時期 for anything one really wants to do. All these months I've been so 急ぐd that I've felt 正確に like a cat just one jump ahead of a dog. If I stopped for a breath it would catch me.
"But the spirit moves me to utter a few yowls to-night. I've something to tell you. And your darling letter （機の）カム to-day—so I will 令状 to-night, and let the dog eat me if he will.
"I'm glad you're keeping 井戸／弁護士席 and good-humoured. There are times I envy you ひどく, Emily—your New Moon 静かな and peace and leisure—your 激しい absorption and satisfaction in your work—your singleness of 目的. 'If thine 注目する，もくろむ be 選び出す／独身 thy whole 団体／死体 shall be 十分な of light.' That's either in the Bible or Shakespeare, but wherever it is, it is true. I remember you told me once you envied me my 適切な時期s of travel. Emily, old dear, 急ぐing about from one place to another isn't travelling. If you were like your foolish Ilse, chasing a 得点する／非難する／２０ of バタフライ 事業／計画（する）s and ambitions you wouldn't be so happy. You always remind me—always did remind me, even in our old chummy days—of somebody's line—'her soul was like a 星／主役にする and dwelt apart.'
"井戸／弁護士席, when one can't get the thing one really wants, one can't help chasing after anything that might made a decent 代用品，人. I know you've always thought me an unmitigated donkey because I cared so much about Perry Miller. I knew you never やめる understood. You couldn't. You never really cared a hoot about any he-creature, did you, Emily? So you thought me an idiot. I daresay I was. But I'm going to be sensible in 未来, I'm going to marry Teddy Kent."
"There—it's out!"
Emily laid 負かす／撃墜する—or dropped—the letter for a moment. She did not feel either 苦痛 or surprise—one does not feel either, I am told, when a 弾丸 strikes the heart. It seemed to her that she had always known this was coming—always. At least, since the night of Mrs. Chidlaw's dinner-dance. And yet, now that it had really happened, it seemed to her that she was 苦しむing everything of death but its 慈悲の dying. In the 薄暗い, twilit mirror before her she saw her own 直面する. Had Emily-in-the-glass ever looked like that before? But her room was just the same. It seemed indecent that it should be the same. After a few moments—or years—Emily 選ぶd up the letter and read on.
"I'm not in love with Teddy, of course. But he's just got to be a habit with me. I can't do without him—and I either have to do without him or marry him. He won't stand my hesitation any longer. Besides, he's going to be very famous. I shall enjoy 存在 the wife of a famous man. Also, he will have the simoleons, too. Not that I'm altogether mercenary, Emily. I said 'No' to a millionaire last week. A nice fellow, too—but with a 直面する like a good-natured weasel's, if there can be such a thing. And he cried when I told him I wouldn't marry him. Oh, it was 恐ろしい.
"Yes, it's mostly ambition, I 認める you. And a 確かな 半端物 肉親，親類d of weariness and impatience with my life as it has been these last few years. Everything seems squeezed 乾燥した，日照りの. But I'm really very fond of Teddy—always was. He's nice and companionable—and our taste in jokes is 正確に／まさに the same. And he never bores me. I have no use for people who bore me. Of course he's too good-looking for a man—he'll always be a 的 for the 長，率いる-hunters. But since I don't care too much for him I shan't be 拷問d by jealousy. In life's morning march when my bosom was young I could have fried in boiling oil anyone—except you—at whom Perry Miller cast a sheep's 注目する，もくろむ.
"I've thought for years and known for weeks that this was coming some day. But I've been 突き破るing Teddy off—I wouldn't let him say the words that would really 貯蔵所d us. I don't know whether I'd ever have 捨てるd up the courage to let him say them, but 運命 took a 手渡す. We were out for a spin two weeks ago one evening and a most unseasonable and malignant 雷鳴-嵐／襲撃する （機の）カム up. We had a dreadful time getting 支援する—there was no place on that 明らかにする, lonely hill-road we could stop—the rain fell in 激流s, the 雷鳴 衝突，墜落d, the 雷 flashed. It was unendurable and we didn't 耐える it. We just tore through it and cussed. Then it （疑いを）晴らすd off as suddenly as it had began—and my 神経s went to pieces—fancy! I have 神経s now—and I began to cry like a 脅すd, foolish baby. And Teddy's 武器 were about me and he was 説 I must marry him—and let him take care of me. I suppose I said I would because it's やめる （疑いを）晴らす he thinks we are engaged. He has given me a blue Chow pup and a sapphire （犯罪の）一味—a sapphire he 選ぶd up in Europe somewhere—an historic jewel for which a 殺人 was once committed, I believe.
"I think it will be rather nice to be taken care of. 適切に. I never was, you know. Dad had no use for me until you 設立する out the truth about Mother—what a witch you were! And after that he adored and spoiled me. But he didn't take any more real care of me than before.
"We are to be married next June. Dad will be pleased, I fancy. Teddy was always the white-haired boy with him. Besides, I think he was beginning to be a little 脅すd I was never going to hook a husband. Dad plumes himself on 存在 a 過激な but at heart he out-Victorians the Victorians.
"And of course you must be my bridesmaid. Oh, Emily dear, how I wish I could see you to-night—talk with you—one of our old-time spiels—walk with you over the Delectable Mountain and along the ferny, 霜d woodside, hang about that old garden by the sea where red poppies blow—all our old familiar places. I wish—I think I really do wish—I was ragged, barefooted, wild Ilse Burnley again. Life is pleasant still—oh, I don't say it isn't. Very pleasant—in 位置／汚点／見つけ出すs—like the curate's immortal egg. But the 'first 罰金 careless rapture'—the thrush may 再度捕まえる it but we never. Emily, old pal, would you turn the clock 支援する if you could?"
Emily read the letter over three times. Then she sat for a very long time at her window, looking blindly out on the blanched, 薄暗い world lying under the terrible mockery of a sky 十分な of 星／主役にするs. The 勝利，勝つd around the eaves was 十分な of ghostly 発言する／表明するs. Bits here and there in Ilse's letter turned and 新たな展開d and 消えるd in her consciousness like little venomous snakes, each with a mortal sting.
"Your singleness of 目的"—"you never cared for anyone"—"of course you must be my bridesmaid"—"I'm really very fond of Teddy"—"my hesitation."
Could any girl really "hesitate" over 受託するing Teddy Kent? Emily heard a little 公式文書，認める of bitter laughter. Was it something in herself that laughed—or that 消えるing spectre of Teddy that had haunted her all day—or an old smothered 執拗な hope that laughed before it died at last?
And at that very moment probably Ilse and Teddy were together.
"If I had gone—that night—last summer—when he called—would it have made any difference?" was the question that asked itself over and over again maddeningly.
"I wish I could hate Ilse. It would make it easier," she thought drearily. "If she loved Teddy I think I could hate her. Somehow, it isn't so dreadful when she doesn't. It せねばならない be more dreadful. It's very strange that I can 耐える the thought of his loving her when I couldn't 耐える the thought of her loving him."
A 広大な／多数の／重要な weariness suddenly 所有するd her. For the first time in her life death seemed a friend. It was very late when she finally went to bed. に向かって morning she slept a little. But wakened stupidly at 夜明け. What was it she had heard?
She remembered.
She got up and dressed—as she must get up and dress every morning to come for endless years.
"井戸／弁護士席," she said aloud to Emily-in-the-glass. "I've 流出／こぼすd my cup of life's ワイン on the ground—somehow. And she will give me no more. So I must go thirsty. Would—would it have been different if I had gone to him that night he called. If I only knew!" She thought she could see Dean's ironical, compassionate 注目する，もくろむs.
Suddenly she laughed.
"In plain English—as Ilse would say—what a devilish mess I've made of things!"
Life, of course, went on in spite of its dreadfulness. The 決まりきった仕事 of 存在 doesn't stop because one is 哀れな. There were even some moments that were not altogether bad. Emily again 手段d her strength with 苦痛 and again 征服する／打ち勝つd. With the Murray pride and the Starr reserve at her 肘 she wrote Ilse a letter of good wishes with which nobody could have 設立する fault. If that were only all she had to do! If only people wouldn't keep on talking to her about Ilse and Teddy.
The 約束／交戦 was 発表するd in the Montreal papers and then in the Island ones.
"Yes, they're engaged and heaven help every one 関心d," said Dr. Burnley. But he could not hide his satisfaction in it.
"Thought at one time you and Teddy were going to make a match of it," he said jovially to Emily—who smiled gallantly and said something about the 予期しない always happening.
"Anyhow we'll have a wedding that is a wedding," 宣言するd the doctor. "We 港／避難所't had a wedding in the 一族／派閥 for God knows how long. I thought they'd forgotten how. I'll show 'em. Ilse 令状s me you're to be bridesmaid. And I'll be wanting you to 監督する things 一般に. Can't 信用 a wedding to a housekeeper."
"Anything I can do, of course," said Emily automatically. Nobody should 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う what she felt not if she died for it. She would even be bridesmaid.
If it had not been for that prospect ahead she thought she could have got through the winter not unhappily. For The Moral of the Rose was a success from the start. The first 版 exhausted in ten days—three large 版s in two weeks—five in eight weeks. 誇張するd 報告（する）／憶測s of the pecuniary returns were 循環させるd everywhere. For the first time Uncle Wallace looked at her with 尊敬（する）・点 and Aunt Addie wished 内密に that Andrew hadn't been consoled やめる so soon. Old Cousin Charlotte, of Derry Pond, heard of the many 版s and opined that Emily must be very busy if she had to put all the 調書をとる／予約するs together and sew them herself. The Shrewsbury people were furious because they imagined they were in the 調書をとる／予約する. Every family believed they were the Applegaths.
"You were 権利 not to come to New York," wrote 行方不明になる 王室の. "You could never have written The Moral of the Rose here. Wild roses won't grow in city streets. And your story is like a wild rose, dear, all sweetness and unexpectedness with sly little thorns of wit and satire. It has 力／強力にする, delicacy, understanding. It's not just story-telling. There's some magicry in it. Emily Byrd Starr, where do you get your uncanny understanding of human nature—you 幼児?"
Dean wrote too—"good creative work, Emily. Your characters are natural and human and delightful. And I like the glowing spirit of 青年 that pervades the 調書をとる／予約する."
"I had hoped to learn something from the reviews, but they are all too contradictory," said Emily. "What one reviewer pronounces the 調書をとる／予約する's greatest 長所 another 非難するs as its worst fault. Listen to these—'行方不明になる Starr never 後継するs in making her characters 納得させるing' and 'One fancies that some of the author's characters must have been copied from real life. They are so 絶対 true to nature that they could hardly be the work of imagination.'"
"I told you people would 認める old Douglas Courcy," interjected Aunt Elizabeth.
"'A very tiresome 調書をとる／予約する'—'a very delightful 調書をとる／予約する'—'very undistinguished fiction' and 'on every page the work of the finished artist is 明らかな'—'a 調書をとる／予約する of cheap and weak romanticism' and 'a classic 質 in the 調書をとる／予約する'—'a unique story of a rare order of literary workmanship' and 'a silly, worthless, colourless and desultory story'—'an ephemeral sort of 事件／事情／状勢' and a 調書をとる／予約する 運命にあるd to live.' What is one to believe?"
"I would just believe only the favourable ones," said Aunt Laura.
Emily sighed.
"My 傾向 is just the other way. I can't help believing the unfavourable ones are true and that the favourable ones were written by morons. But I don't really mind much what they say about the 調書をとる／予約する. It's only when they 非難する my ヘロイン that I'm 傷つける and furious, I saw red over these reviews of darling Peggy. 'A girl of 驚くべき／特命の／臨時の stupidity'—'the ヘロイン has too 示すd a self-consciousness of her 使節団.'"
"I did think she was a bit of a flirt," 譲歩するd Cousin Jimmy.
"'A thin, sweetish ヘロイン'—'the ヘロイン is something of a bore'—'queer but altogether too queer.'"
"I told you she shouldn't have had green 注目する，もくろむs," groaned Cousin Jimmy. "A ヘロイン should always have blue 注目する，もくろむs.'
"Oh, but listen to this," cried Emily gaily—"'Peg Applegath is 簡単に irresistible'—'Peg is a remarkably vivid personality'—'a fascinating ヘロイン'—'Peg is too delightful not to be credited while we are under her （一定の）期間'—'one of the immortal girls of literature.' What about green 注目する，もくろむs now, Cousin Jimmy?"
Cousin Jimmy shook his 長，率いる. He was not 納得させるd.
"Here's a review for you," twinkled Emily. "'A psychological problem with roots that stretch far into subliminal depths which would give the 調書をとる／予約する 負わせる and value if it were grappled with 心から.'"
"I know the meaning of all those words by themselves except two, but put together they don't make any sense," 抗議するd Cousin Jimmy ruefully.
"'Beneath the elusiveness and atmospheric charm is a wonderful firmness of character delineation.'"
"I don't やめる get that either," 自白するd Cousin Jimmy, "But it sounds 肉親，親類d of favourable."
"'A 従来の and commonplace 調書をとる／予約する.'"
"What does '従来の' mean!" asked Aunt Elizabeth, who would not have been 提起する／ポーズをとるd by transubstantiation or Gnosticism.
"'Beautifully written and 十分な of sparkling humour. 行方不明になる Starr is a real artist in literature.'"
"Oh, now, there's a reviewer with some sense," purred Cousin Jimmy.
"'The general impression left by the 調書をとる／予約する is that it might be much worse.'"
"That reviewer was trying to be smart, I suppose," said Aunt Elizabeth, 明らかに やめる oblivious of the fact that she had said the very same thing herself.
"'This 調書をとる／予約する 欠如（する）s spontaneity. It is saccharine and melodramatic, mawkish and naive.'"
"I know I fell into the 井戸／弁護士席," said Cousin Jimmy pitifully. "Is that why I can't make 長，率いる or tail out of that?"
"Here's one you can understand—perhaps. '行方不明になる Starr must have invented the Applegath orchard 同様に as her green-注目する，もくろむd ヘロイン. There are no orchards in Prince Edward Island. They are killed by the 厳しい, salt 勝利，勝つd that blow across that 狭くする sandy （土地などの）細長い一片.'"
"Read that again please, Emily."
Emily 従うd. Cousin Jimmy scratched his 長，率いる, then shook it. "Do they let that 肉親，親類d run loose over there?"
"'The story is a charming one, charmingly told. The characters are skilfully 描写するd, the 対話 deftly 扱うd, the descriptive passages surprisingly 効果的な. The 静かな humour is 簡単に delightful.'"
"I hope this will not make you vain, Emily," said Aunt Elizabeth warningly.
"If it does, here's the antidote. 'This feeble, pretentious and sentimental story—if story it can be called—is 十分な of banalities and trivialities. A 集まり of disconnected episodes and 捨てるs of conversation, intermingled with long periods of reflection and self-examination.'"
"I wonder if the creature who wrote that knew the meaning of the words himself," said Aunt Laura.
"'The scene of this story is laid in Prince Edward Island, a detached 部分 of land off the coast of Newfoundland.'"
"Don't Yankees ever 熟考する／考慮する 地理学?" snorted exasperated Cousin Jimmy.
"'A story that will not corrupt its readers.'"
"There's a real compliment now," said Aunt Elizabeth.
Cousin Jimmy looked doubtful. It sounded all 権利 but—of course dear little Emily's 調書をとる／予約する couldn't corrupt anyone but—
"'To review a 調書をとる／予約する of this 肉親，親類d is like 試みる／企てるing to dissect a バタフライ's wing or （土地などの）細長い一片 a rose of its petals to discover the secret of its fragrance.'"
"Too highfalutin," 匂いをかぐd Aunt Elizabeth.
"'Honeyed sentimentality which the author evidently supposes is poetic fancy.'"
"Wouldn't I like to smack his gob," said Cousin Jimmy feelingly.
"'害のない and 平易な reading.'"
"I don't know why, but I don't やめる like the sound of that," commented Aunt Laura.
"'This story will keep a kindly smile upon your lips and in your heart 同様に.'"
"Come now, that's English. I can understand that," beamed Cousin Jimmy.
"'We began but 設立する it impossible to finish this 天然のまま and tiresome 調書をとる／予約する.'"
"井戸／弁護士席, all I can say," said Cousin Jimmy indignantly, "is that the oftener I read The Moral of the Rose the better I like it. Why, I was reading it for the fourth time yesterday and I was so 利益／興味d I clean forgot all about dinner."
Emily smiled. It was better to have won her standing with the New Moon folks than with the world. What 事柄d it what any reviewer said when Aunt Elizabeth 発言／述べるd with an 空気／公表する of uttering the final judgment:
"井戸／弁護士席, I never could have believed that a pack of lies could sound as much like the real truth as that 調書をとる／予約する does."
Emily, coming home one January night from an evening call, decided to use the cross-lots road that skirted the Tansy Patch. It had been a winter almost without snow and the ground under her feet was 明らかにする and hard. She seemed the only living creature abroad in the night and she walked slowly, savouring the 罰金, grim, eerie charm of flowerless meadows and silent 支持を得ようと努めるd, of the moon breaking suddenly out of 黒人／ボイコット clouds over the lowlands of pointed モミs; and trying, more or いっそう少なく 首尾よく, not to think of the letter that had come from Ilse that day—one of Ilse's gay, incoherent letters, where one fact stood out barely. The wedding-day was 始める，決める—the fifteenth of June.
"I want you to wear harebell blue gauze over ivory taffeta for your bridesmaid dress, darling. How your 黒人／ボイコット silk hair will 向こうずね over it!
"My 'bridal 式服' is going to be of ivory velvet and old 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Edith in Scotland is sending me out her 隠す of rose-point and 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunt Theresa in the same historic land is sending me a train of silver oriental embroidery that her husband once brought home from Constantinople. I'll 隠す it with tulle. Won't I be a dazzling creature? I don't think the dear old souls knew I 存在するd till Dad wrote them about my '来たるべき nuptials.' Dad is far more excited over everything than I am.
"Teddy and I are going to spend our honeymoon in old inns in out-of-the-way European corners—places where nobody else wants to go—Vallambroso and so on. That line of Milton's always intrigued me—'厚い as autumnal leaves that まき散らす the brooks in Vallambroso.' When you take it away from its horrible 状況 it is a picture of sheer delight.
"I'll be home in May for my last 準備s and Teddy will come the first of June to spend a little while with his mother. How is she taking it, Emily? Have you any idea? I can't get anything out of Teddy, so I suppose she doesn't like it. She always hated me, I know. But then she seemed to hate everyone—with a special venom for you. I won't be 特に fortunate in my mother-in-法律. I'll always have an eerie feeling that she's 内密に heaping maledictions on my 長，率いる. However, Teddy is nice enough to （不足などを）補う for her. He really is. I'd no idea how nice he could be and I'm growing fonder of him every day. Honestly. When I look at him and realize how handsome and charming he is I can't understand why I'm not madly in love with him. But it's really much more comfortable not to be. If I were I'd be heartbroken every time we quarrelled. We're always quarrelling—you know me of old. We always will. We'll spoil every wonderful moment with a quarrel. But life won't be dull."
Emily shivered. Her own life was looking very 荒涼とした and 餓死するd just then. Oh, how—nice—it would be when the wedding was over—the wedding where she should be bride—yes, should—and was to be bridesmaid—and people done talking of it. "Harebell blue over ivory taffeta!" Sackcloth and ashes, rather.
"Emily. Emily Starr."
Emily almost jumped. She had not seen Mrs. Kent in the gloom until they were 直面する to 直面する—at the little 味方する path that led up to the Tansy Patch. She was standing there, bareheaded in the 冷気／寒がらせる night, with outstretched 手渡す.
"Emily, I want to have a talk with you. I saw you go past here at sunset and I've been watching for you ever since. Come up to the house."
Emily would much rather have 辞退するd. Yet she turned and silently climbed the 法外な, root-ribbed path, with Mrs. Kent flitting before her like a little dead leaf borne along by the 勝利，勝つd. Through the ragged old garden where nothing ever grew but tansy, and into the little house that was as shabby as it had always been. People said Teddy Kent might 直す／買収する，八百長をする up his mother's house a bit if he were making all the money folks said he was. But Emily knew that Mrs. Kent would not let him—would not have anything changed.
She looked around the little place curiously. She had not been in it for many years—not since the long-ago days when she and Ilse and Teddy had been children there. It seemed やめる 不変の. As of yore, the house seemed to be afraid of laughter. Someone always seemed to be praying in it. It had an atmosphere of 祈り. And the old willow to the west was still tap-（電話線からの）盗聴 on the window with ghostly finger-tips. On the mantel was a 最近の photograph of Teddy—a good one. He seemed on the point of speaking—of 説 something 勝利を得た—exultant.
"Emily, I've 設立する the rainbow gold. Fame—and love."
She turned her 支援する on it and sat 負かす／撃墜する. Mrs. Kent sat opposite—a faded, 縮むing little 人物／姿／数字 with the long scar slanting palely across her bitter mouth and lined 直面する—the 直面する that must have been very pretty once. She was looking intently, searchingly at Emily; but, as Emily 即時に realized, the old smouldering 憎悪 had gone out of her 注目する，もくろむs—her tired 注目する，もくろむs that must once have been young and eager and laughter-lit. She leaned 今後 and touched Emily's arm with her わずかな／ほっそりした, claw-like fingers.
"You know that Teddy is going to marry Ilse Burnley," she said.
"Yes."
"What do you feel about it?"
Emily moved impatiently.
"What do my feelings 事柄, Mrs. Kent? Teddy loves Ilse. She is a beautiful, brilliant, warmhearted girl. I am sure they will be very happy."
"Do you still love him?"
Emily wondered why she did not feel 憤慨. But Mrs. Kent was not to be 裁判官d by ordinary 支配するs. And here was a 罰金 chance to save her 直面する by a 冷静な／正味の little 嘘（をつく）—just a few indifferent words. "Not any longer, Mrs. Kent. Oh, I know I once imagined I did—imagining things like that is one of my 証拠不十分s unfortunately. But I find I don't care at all."
Why couldn't she say them? 井戸／弁護士席, she couldn't, that was all. She could never, in any words, 否定する her love for Teddy. It was so much a part of herself that it had a divine 権利 to truth. And was there not, too, a secret 救済 in feeling that here at least was one person with whom she could be herself—before whom she need not pretend or hide?
"I don't think you have any 権利 to ask that question, Mrs. Kent. But—I do."
Mrs. Kent laughed silently.
"I used to hate you. I don't hate you any longer. We are one now, you and I. We love him. And he has forgotten us—he cares nothing for us—he has gone to her."
"He does care for you, Mrs. Kent. He always did. Surely you can understand that there is more than one 肉親，親類d of love. And I hope—you are not going to hate Ilse because Teddy loves her."
"No, I don't hate her. She is more beautiful than you, but there is no mystery about her. She will never 所有する him wholly as you would have. It's やめる different. But I want to know this—are you unhappy because of this?"
"No. Only for a few minutes now and then. 一般に I am too much 利益／興味d in my work to brood morbidly on what can't be 地雷."
Mrs. Kent had listened thirstily. "Yes—yes—正確に／まさに. I thought so. The Murrays are so sensible. Some day—some day—you'll be glad this has happened—glad that Teddy didn't care for you. Don't you think you will?"
"Perhaps."
"Oh, I am sure of it. It's so much better for you. Oh, you don't know the 苦しむing and wretchedness you will be spared. It's madness to love anything too much. God is jealous. If you married Teddy he would break your heart—they always do. It is best—you will live to feel it was best."
Tap—tap—tap went the old willow.
"Need we talk of this any more, Mrs. Kent?"
"Do you remember that night I 設立する you and Teddy in the graveyard?" asked Mrs. Kent, 明らかに deaf to Emily's question.
"Yes." Emily 設立する herself remembering it very vividly—that strange wonderful night when Teddy had saved her from mad Mr. Morrison and said such 甘い, unforgettable things to her.
"Oh, how I hated you that night!" exclaimed Mrs. Kent. "But I shouldn't have said those things to you. All my life I've been 説 things I shouldn't. Once I said a terrible thing—such a terrible thing. I've never been able to get the echo of it out of my ears. And do you remember what you said to me? That was why I let Teddy go away from me. It was your doing. If he hadn't gone you mightn't have lost him. Are you sorry you spoke so?"
"No. If anything I said helped to （疑いを）晴らす the way for him I'm glad—glad."
"You would do it over again?"
"I would."
"And don't you hate Ilse 激しく? She has taken what you 手配中の，お尋ね者. You must hate her."
"I do not. I love Ilse dearly as I always did. She has taken nothing from me that was ever 地雷."
"I don't understand it—I don't understand it," half whispered Mrs. Kent. "My love isn't like that. Perhaps that is why it has always made me so unhappy. No, I don't hate you any longer. But oh, I did hate you. I knew Teddy cared more for you than he did for me. Didn't you and he talk about me—非難する me?"
"Never."
"I thought you did. People were always doing that—always."
Suddenly Mrs. Kent struck her tiny 手渡すs together violently.
"Why didn't you tell me you didn't love him any longer? Why didn't you—even if it was a 嘘（をつく）? That was what I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to hear. I could have believed you. The Murrays never 嘘（をつく）."
"Oh, what does it 事柄?" cried 拷問d Emily again. "My love means nothing to him now. He is Ilse's. You need not be jealous of me any longer, Mrs. Kent."
"I'm not—I'm not—it isn't that." Mrs. Kent looked at her oddly. "Oh, if I only dared—but no—but no, it's too late. It would be no use now. I don't think I know what I'm 説. Only—Emily—will you come to see me いつかs? It's lonely here—very lonely—so much worse now when he belongs to Ilse. His picture （機の）カム last Wednesday—no, Thursday. There is so little to distinguish the days here. I put it up there, but it makes things worse. He was thinking of her in it—can't you tell by his 注目する，もくろむs he was thinking of the woman he loves? I am of no importance to him now. I am of no importance to anybody."
"If I come to see you—you mustn't talk of him—or of them," said Emily, pitingly.
"I won't. Oh, I won't. Though that won't 妨げる us from thinking of them, will it? You'll sit there—and I'll sit here—and we'll talk of the 天候 and think of him. How amusing! But—when you've really forgotten him—when you really don't care any more—you'll tell me, won't you?"
Emily nodded and rose to go. She could not 耐える this any longer. "And if there is ever anything I can do for you, Mrs. Kent—"
"I want 残り／休憩（する）—残り／休憩（する）," said Mrs. Kent, laughing wildly. "Can you find that for me? Don't you know I'm a ghost, Emily? I died years ago. I walk in the dark."
As the door の近くにd behind her Emily heard Mrs. Kent beginning to cry terribly. With a sigh of 救済 she turned to the crisp open spaces of the 勝利，勝つd and the night, the 影をつくる／尾行するs and the frosty moon. Ah, one could breathe here.
Ilse （機の）カム in May—a gay, laughing Ilse. Almost too gay and laughing, Emily thought. Ilse had always been a merry, irresponsible creature; but not やめる so unceasingly so as now. She never had a serious mood, 明らかに. She made a jest of everything, even her marriage. Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Laura were やめる shocked at her. A girl who was so soon to assume the 責任／義務s of wedded life should be more thoughtful and sober. Ilse told Emily they were 中央の-Victorian 叫び声をあげるs. She chatted ceaselessly when she and Emily were together, but never talked to her, にもかかわらず the 願望（する） 表明するd in her letters for old-time spiels. Perhaps she was not やめる all to 非難する for this. Emily, in spite of her 決意 to be 正確に／まさに the same as of yore, could not help a 確かな 抑制 and reserve, born of her secret 苦痛 and her 猛烈な／残忍な 決意 to hide it. Ilse felt the 抑制, though wholly unsuspicious of the 原因（となる）. Emily was just 自然に growing a little bit New Moonish, that was all, living there alone with those dear old antediluvians.
"When Teddy and I come 支援する and 始める，決める up house in Montreal you must spend every winter with us, darling. New Moon is a dear place in summer, but in winter you must be 絶対 buried alive."
Emily made no 約束s. She did not see herself as a guest in Teddy's home. Every night she told herself she could not かもしれない 耐える tomorrow. But when to-morrow （機の）カム it was livable. It was even possible to talk dress and 詳細（に述べる）s calmly with Ilse. The harebell blue dress became a reality and Emily tried it on two nights before Teddy was 推定する／予想するd home. The wedding was only two weeks away now.
"You look like a dream in it, Emily," said Ilse, stretched out on Emily's bed with the grace and abandon of a cat—Teddy's sapphire blotting her finger darkly. "You'll make all my velvet and lace gorgeousness look obvious and 天然のまま. Did I tell you Teddy is bringing Lorne Halsey with him for best man? I'm 前向きに／確かに thrilled—the 広大な／多数の／重要な Halsey. His mother has been so ill he didn't think he could come. But the 強いるing old lady has suddenly 回復するd and he's 現実に coming. His new 調書をとる／予約する is a wow. Everybody in Montreal was raving over it and he's the most 利益／興味ing and improbable creature. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you and he were to 落ちる in love with each other, Emily?"
"Don't go matchmaking for me, Ilse," said Emily with a faint smile, as she took off the harebell dress. "I feel in my bones that I shall 達成する old-maidenhood, which is an 完全に different thing from having old-maidenhood thrust upon you."
"To be sure, he looks like a gargoyle," said Ilse meditatively. "If it hadn't been for that I think I might have married him myself. I'm almost sure I could have. His way of making love was to ask me my opinion about things. That was agreeable. But I had a hunch that if we were married he would stop asking for my opinion. That would not be agreeable. Besides, nobody could ever tell what he really thought. He might be looking as though he adored you and thinking he saw crow's-feet around your 注目する，もくろむs. By the way, isn't Teddy the most beautiful thing?"
"He was always a nice-looking boy."
"'A nice-looking boy,'" mimicked Ilse. "Emily Starr, if you ever do marry I hope your husband will chain you in the dog-kennel. I'll be calling you Aunt Emily in a minute. Why, there's nobody in Montreal who can 持つ／拘留する a candle to him. It's his looks I love really—not him. いつかs he bores me—really. Although I was so sure he wouldn't. He never did before we were engaged. I have a premonition that some day I'll throw the teapot at him. Isn't it a pity we can't have two husbands? One to look at and one to talk to. But Teddy and I will be by way of 存在 a 素晴らしい couple, won't we, honey? He so dark—I so fair. Ideal. I've always wished I was 'a dark ladye'—like you—but when I said so to Teddy he just laughed and 引用するd the old 詩（を作る）,
'If the 妨げる／法廷，弁護士業d of old the truth have told
The サイレン／魅惑的なs have raven hair.
But over the earth since art had birth,
They paint the angels fair.'
That's the nearest Teddy will ever get to calling me an angel. Luckily. For when all's said and done, Emily, I'd rather—are you sure the door is shut so that Aunt Laura won't 減少（する） dead?—I'd much rather be a サイレン／魅惑的な than an angel. Wouldn't you?"
"Let's check up the 招待s now and make sure we 港／避難所't left anybody out," was Emily's 返答 to this 暴動 of words.
"Isn't it terrible to belong to a 一族／派閥 like ours?" said Ilse peevishly. "There's such a 恐ろしい lot of old frumps and bores that have to be の中で those 現在の. I hope some day I'll get where there are no relations. I wish the whole damn 事件／事情／状勢 was over. You're sure you 演説（する）／住所d a 企て，努力，提案 to Perry, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"I wonder if he'll come? I hope he will. What a goose I was ever to fancy I cared so much for him! I used to hope—all sorts of things, in spite of the fact I knew he was crazy about you. But I never hoped after Mrs. Chidlaw's dinner-dance. Do you remember it, Emily?"
Yes, Emily remembered that.
"Till then I'd always hoped a little—that some day when he realized he couldn't have you—I'd catch his heart on the 回復する—wasn't that the Victorian phrase? I thought he'd be at the Chidlaws'—I knew he had been 招待するd. And I asked Teddy if Perry were coming. Teddy looked 権利 into my 注目する，もくろむs meaningly and said, 'Perry will not be here. He's working on the 事例／患者 he has to appear in to-morrow. Perry's goal is ambition. He has no time for love.'
"I knew he was trying to 警告する me—and I knew it was no use to go on hoping—anything. So I gave up definitely. 井戸／弁護士席, it's turned out all 権利. Isn't it charming how things do turn out so beautifully? Makes one やめる believe in an overruling Providence. Isn't it nice to be able to 非難する everything on God?"
Emily hardly heard Ilse as she mechanically hung up the blue dress in her closet and slipped into a little green sport 控訴. So that was what Teddy had said to Ilse that night years ago when she knew he had uttered the word "love." And she had been so chilly to him because of it. 井戸／弁護士席, not likely it 事柄d. No 疑問 he had only been 警告 Ilse because he 手配中の，お尋ね者 her to turn her maiden thoughts from Perry and concentrate them on himself. She felt relieved when Ilse finally went home. Ilse's light, continual chatter rather got on her 神経s—though she was ashamed to 収容する／認める it. But then her 神経s were on 辛勝する／優位 under this long-drawn-out 拷問. Two weeks more of it—and then, thank God, at least peace.
She went up to the Tansy Patch in the dusk to take 支援する a 調書をとる／予約する Mrs. Kent had lent her the night before. The visit must be made before Teddy （機の）カム home. She had been up to the Tansy Patch several times since that first evening and an 半端物 sort of friendship had sprung up between her and Mrs. Kent. They lent each other 調書をとる／予約するs and talked of everything except the one thing that 事柄d most to them. The 調書をとる／予約する Emily was returning was an old copy of The South African Farm. Emily had 表明するd a wish to read it and Mrs. Kent had gone upstairs and presently （機の）カム 負かす／撃墜する with it—her white 直面する a little whiter and the scar 燃やすing redly across it as always when she was 深く，強烈に moved.
"Here is the 調書をとる／予約する you want," she said. "I had it in a box upstairs."
Emily finished reading the 調書をとる／予約する before she went to sleep. She was not sleeping 井戸／弁護士席 now and the nights were long. The 調書をとる／予約する had a musty, unaired odour—evidently the box Mrs. Kent spoke of had not been opened for a long time. And in it Emily 設立する a thin letter, unstamped, 演説（する）／住所d to Mrs. David Kent.
The curious thing about the letter was that it was, 明らかに, unopened. 井戸／弁護士席, letters often re-調印（する）d themselves like that, if placed under 圧力, when the flap had pulled open untorn in the first 開始. Not likely it was of much significance. But of course she would について言及する it when she took the 調書をとる／予約する 支援する.
"Did you know there was a letter in this 調書をとる／予約する, Mrs. Kent?"
"A letter. Did you say a letter?"
"Yes. 演説（する）／住所d to you."
Emily held the letter out to Mrs. Kent, whose 直面する became 恐ろしい as she looked at the handwriting.
"You 設立する that—in that 調書をとる／予約する?" she whispered. "In that 調書をとる／予約する that hasn't been opened for over twenty-five years? Do you know—who wrote this letter? My—husband wrote it—and I have never read it—never known of it."
Emily felt herself in the presence of some 悲劇—the secret 拷問 of Mrs. Kent's life, perhaps.
"I will go away—so that you can read it alone," she said gently and went out, leaving Mrs. Kent standing in the shadowy little room, 持つ／拘留するing the letter in her 手渡す—as one might 持つ／拘留する a snake.
"I sent for you to-night because there is something I must tell you," said Mrs. Kent.
She was sitting, a tiny, 築く, 決定するd creature in the armchair by the window in the 厳しい light of a 冷淡な sunset. It was June but it was 冷淡な. The sky was hard and autumnal. Emily, walking up the cross-lots path had shivered and wished herself at home. But Mrs. Kent's 公式文書，認める had been 緊急の—almost peremptory. Why in the world did she want her! Surely, it could not be anything in 関係 with Teddy. And yet what else could make Mrs. Kent send for her in this fashion?
The moment she saw Mrs. Kent she was conscious of a curious change in her—a change hard to define. She was as frail, as pitiful as ever. There seemed even a 確かな 反抗的な light in her 注目する，もくろむs. But for the first time since she had known Mrs. Kent Emily did not feel that she was in the presence of an unhappy woman. There was peace here—a strange, sorrowful, long-unknown peace. The 拷問d soul was—at last—off the rack.
"I have been dead—and in hell—but now I am alive again," said Mrs. Kent. "It's you who have done this—you 設立する that letter. And so there is something I must tell you. It will make you hate me. And I shall be sorry for that now. But it must be told."
Emily felt a sudden distaste for 審理，公聴会 whatever it was Mrs. Kent had to tell. It had—must have—something to do with Teddy. And she did not want to hear anything—anything—about Teddy now—Teddy who would be Ilse's husband in two weeks.
"Don't you think—perhaps—it would be better not to tell me?"
"It must be told. I have committed a wrong and I must 自白する it. I cannot undo it—I suppose it is too late to undo it—but it must be told. But there are other things that must be told first. Things I've never spoken of—things that have been 拷問ing me until I've 叫び声をあげるd out loud at night いつかs with the anguish of them. Oh, you will never 許す me—but I think you will be a little sorry for me."
"I've always felt sorry for you, Mrs. Kent."
"I think you did—yes, I think you did. But you couldn't realize it all. Emily, I wasn't like this when I was a girl. I was—like other people then. And I was pretty—indeed I was. When David Kent （機の）カム and made me love him I was pretty. And he loved me—then—and he always loved me. He says so in this letter."
She plucked it from the bosom of her dress and kissed it almost savagely.
"I can't let you see it, Emily. No 注目する，もくろむs but 地雷 must ever see it. But I'll tell you what is in it. Oh, you can't know—you can't understand how much I loved him, Emily. You think you love Teddy. But you don't—you can't love him as I loved his father."
Emily had a different opinion on this point, but she did not say so.
"He married me and took me home to Malton where his people lived. We were so happy at first—too happy. I told you God was jealous. And his people did not like me—not from the first. They thought David had married beneath him—that I wasn't good enough for him. They were always trying to come between us. Oh, I knew; I knew what they were after. His mother hated me. She never called me Aileen—only 'you' and 'David's wife.' I hated her because she was always watching me—never said anything—never did anything. Just watched me. I was never one of them. I never seemed able to understand their jokes. They were always laughing over something—me, half the time, I thought. They would 令状 letters to David and never について言及する me. Some of them were always freezingly polite to me and some of them were always giving me digs. Once one of his sisters sent me a 調書をとる／予約する on etiquette. Something was always 傷つけるing me—and I couldn't strike 支援する—I couldn't 傷つける what was 傷つけるing me. David took their part—he had secrets with them he kept from me. But in spite of it all I was happy—till I dropped the lamp and my dress caught 解雇する／砲火／射撃 and scarred my 直面する like this. After that I couldn't believe David could keep on loving me. I was so ugly. My 神経s got raw and I couldn't help quarrelling with him over every trifle. But he was 患者. He forgave me again and again. Only I was so afraid he couldn't love me with that scar. I knew I was going to have a baby, but I kept putting off telling him. I was afraid he would love it more than he did me. And then—I did a terrible thing. I hate to tell you of it. David had a dog—he loved it so much that I hated it I—I 毒（薬）d it. I don't know what 所有するd me. I never used to be like that—not till I was 燃やすd. Perhaps it was because the baby was coming."
Mrs. Kent stopped and changed suddenly from a woman quivering with 明かすd feeling to a prim Victorian.
"I shouldn't talk about such 事柄s to a young girl," she said anxiously.
"I have known for some years that babies do not come in Dr. Burnley's 黒人／ボイコット 捕らえる、獲得する," 保証するd Emily 厳粛に.
"井戸／弁護士席"—Mrs. Kent underwent another 変形 into 熱烈な Aileen Kent again—"David 設立する out what I had done. Oh—oh, his 直面する! We had a dreadful quarrel. It was just before he went out to Winnipeg on a 商売／仕事 trip. I—I was so furious over what he said that I 叫び声をあげるd out—oh, Emily—that I hoped I would never see his 直面する again. I never did. God took me at my word. He died of 肺炎 in Winnipeg. I never knew he was ill till the word of his death （機の）カム. And the nurse was a girl he had once thought something of and who loved him. She waited on him and tended him while I was at home hating him. That is what I have thought I could never 許す God for. She packed up his things and sent them home—that 調書をとる／予約する の中で them. He must have bought it in Winnipeg. I never opened it—I never could 耐える to touch it. He must have written that letter when he was 近づく death and put it in the 調書をとる／予約する for me—and perhaps died before he could tell her it was there. Maybe she knew and wouldn't tell me. And it has been there all these years, Emily—all these years when I've been believing David died angry with me—unforgiving me. I've dreamed of him night after night—always with his 直面する turned away from me. Oh, twenty-seven years of that, Emily—twenty-seven years. Think of it. 港／避難所't I atoned! And last night I opened and read his letter, Emily—just a few lines scribbled with a pencil—his poor 手渡す could hardly 持つ／拘留する it. He called me Dear Little Wife and said I must 許す him—I 許す him—for 存在 so 厳しい and angry that last day—and he forgave me for what I had done—and said I mustn't worry over it nor over what I had said about not seeing his 直面する again—he knew I didn't mean it—that he understood things better at the last—and he had always loved me dearly and always would—and—and—something more I can't tell anybody—too dear, too wonderful. Oh, Emily, can you imagine what this means to me—to know he didn't die angry with me—that he died loving me and thinking tenderly of me? But I didn't know it then. And I—I—don't think I've ever been やめる 権利 since. I know all his people thought me crazy. When Teddy was born I （機の）カム up here away from them all. So that they couldn't 誘惑する him away from me. I wouldn't take a cent from them. I had David's 保険—we could just live on that. Teddy was all I had—and you （機の）カム—and I knew you would take him from me. I knew he loved you—always. Oh, yes he did. When he went away I used to 令状 him of all your flirtations. And two years ago—you remember he had to go to Montreal so suddenly—and you were away—he couldn't wait to say good-bye. But he wrote you a letter."
Emily gave a little choked cry of 否定.
"Oh, he did. I saw it lying on his （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する when he had gone out. I steamed the flap open and read it. I 燃やすd the letter, Emily—but I can tell you what was in it. Could I ever forget! He told you he had meant to tell you how much he loved you before he went—and if you could care a little for him to 令状 and tell him so. But if you couldn't not to 令状 at all. Oh, how I hated you. I 燃やすd the letter and 調印（する）d up a copy of some poetry 詩（を作る）s that were in it. And he mailed it never knowing the difference. I was never sorry—never, not even when he wrote me he was going to marry Ilse. But last night—when you brought me that letter—and forgiveness—and peace—oh, I felt I had done an awful thing. I've 廃虚d your life—and perhaps Teddy's. Can you ever 許す me, Emily?"
Emily, まっただ中に all the whirl of emotions roused by Mrs. Kent's tale, was 熱心に conscious of only one thing. Bitterness—humiliation—shame had 消えるd from her 存在. Teddy had loved her. The sweetness of the 発覚 blotted out, for the time at least, all other feelings. 怒り／怒る—憤慨—could find no place in her soul. She felt like a new creature. And there was 誠実 in heart and トン as she said slowly:
"I do—I do. I understand."
Mrs. Kent suddenly wrung her 手渡すs.
"Emily—is it too late? Is it too late? They're not married yet—I know he doesn't love her as he loved you. If you told him—if I told him—"
"No, no, no," cried Emily passionately. "It is too late. He must never know—you must never tell him. He loves Ilse now. I am sure of that—and telling him this would do no good and much evil. 約束 me—dear Mrs. Kent, if you feel you 借りがある me anything 約束 me, you'll never tell him."
"But you—you will be unhappy—"
"I will not be unhappy—not now. You don't know what a difference this has made. The sting has gone out of everything. I am going to have a happy, busy, useful life and 悔いる for old dreams will have no place in it. The 負傷させる will 傷をいやす／和解させる now."
"It was—a terrible thing for me to do," whispered Mrs. Kent. "I see that—at last."
"I suppose it was. But I'm not thinking of that. Only that I've got my self-尊敬（する）・点 支援する."
"The Murray pride," whispered Mrs. Kent, 星／主役にするing at her. "After all, Emily Starr, I believe pride is a stronger passion with you than love."
"Perhaps," said Emily smiling.
She was in such a tumult of feeling when she reached home that she did a thing she was always ashamed of. Perry Miller was waiting in the New Moon garden for her. She had not seen him for a long time and at any other hour would have been glad to see him. Perry's friendship, now that he had finally given up all hope of anything else, was a very pleasant part of her life. He had developed in the last few years—he was manly, humorous, much いっそう少なく boastful. He had even acquired 確かな 根底となる 支配するs of social etiquette and learned not to have too many 手渡すs and feet. He was too busy to come often to New Moon, but Emily always enjoyed his visits when he did come—except tonight. She 手配中の，お尋ね者 to be alone—to think things over—分類する her emotions—revel in her 回復するd sense of self-尊敬（する）・点. To pace up and 負かす／撃墜する の中で the silken poppy-ladies of the garden and talk with Perry was an almost impossible thing. She was in a frenzy of impatience to be rid of him. And Perry did not sense this at all. He had not seen her for a long while—and there were many things to talk over—Ilse's wedding in especial. He kept on asking questions about it until Emily really didn't know what she was 説. Perry was a bit squiffy over the fact that he had not been asked to be groomsman. He thought he had a 権利 to be—the old chum of both.
"I never thought Teddy would turn me 負かす／撃墜する 冷淡な like that," he growled. "I suppose he feels himself too big to have Stovepipe Town for groomsman."
Then Emily did her dreadful thing—before she realized what she was 説, in her impatient annoyance with Perry for casting such aspersions on Teddy the words leaped out やめる involuntarily.
"You goose. It wasn't Teddy at all. Do you think Ilse would have you as groomsman—when she hoped for years you would be the groom?"
The moment she had spoken she stood aghast, sick with shame and 悔恨. What had she done? Betrayed friendship—侵害する／違反するd 信用／信任—a shameful, unpardonable thing. Could she, Emily Byrd Starr of New Moon, have done this?
Perry was standing by the dial 星／主役にするing at her dumbfounded.
"Emily, you don't mean that. Ilse never thought of me that way, did she?"
Emily miserably realized that the spoken word could not be 解任するd and that the mess she had made of things couldn't be mended by any fibs.
"She did—at one time. Of course she got over it long ago."
"Me! Why, Emily, she always seemed to despise me—always ragging me about something—I never could please her—you remember."
"Oh, I remember," said Emily wearily. "She thought so much of you, she hated to see you 落ちる below her 基準. If she hadn't—liked you—do you suppose she would have cared what grammar you used or what etiquette you 粉砕するd? I should never have told you this, Perry. I shall be ashamed of it all my life. You must never let her 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う you know."
"Of course not. Anyhow, she's forgotten it long ago."
"Oh—yes. But you can understand why it wouldn't be 特に agreeable for her to have you as best man at her wedding. I hated to have you think Teddy such a snob. And now, you won't mind, will you, Perry, if I ask you to go? I'm very tired—and I've so much to do the next two weeks."
"You せねばならない be in bed, that's a fact," agreed Perry. "I'm a beast to be keeping you up. But when I come here it seems so much like old times I never want to go. What a 始める，決める of shavers we were! And now Ilse and Teddy are going to be married. We're getting on a bit."
"Next thing you'll be a staid old married man yourself, Perry," said Emily, trying to smile. "I've been 審理，公聴会 things."
"Not on your life! I've given up that idea for good. Not that I'm pining after you yet in particular—only nobody has any flavour after you. I've tried. I'm doomed to die a bachelor. They tell me it's an 平易な death. But I've got a few ambitions by the tail and I'm not kicking about life. Bye-bye, dear. I'll see you at the wedding. It's in the afternoon, isn't it?"
"Yes." Emily wondered she could speak so calmly of it. "Three o'clock—then supper—and a モーター 運動 to Shrewsbury to catch the evening boat. Perry, Perry, I wish I hadn't told you that about Ilse. It was mean—mean—as we used to say at school—I never thought I could do such a thing."
"Now, don't go worrying over that. I'm as tickled as a dog with two tails to think Ilse ever thought that much of me, at any time. Don't you think I've sense enough to know what a compliment it was? And don't you think I understand what bricks you two girls always were to me and how much I 借りがある you for letting me be your friend? I've never had any illusions about Stovepipe Town or the real difference between us. I wasn't such a fool as not to understand that. I've climbed a bit—I mean to climb higher—but you and Ilse were born to it. And you never let me feel the difference as some girls did. I shan't forget Rhoda Stuart's dirty little 中傷するs. So you don't think I'd be such a cur now as to go strutting because I've 設立する out Ilse once had a bit of a fancy for me—or that I'd ever let her think I knew? I've left that much of Stovepipe Town behind, anyhow—even if I still have to think what fork I'll 選ぶ up first. Emily—do you remember the night your Aunt Ruth caught me kissing you?"*
*See Emily Climbs.
"I should think I do."
"The only time I ever did kiss you," said Perry 非，不，無-sentimentally. "And it wasn't much of a 発射, was it? When I think of the old lady standing there in her nightgown with the candle!"
Perry went off laughing and Emily went to her room.
"Emily-in-the-glass," she said almost gaily, "I can look you squarely in the 注目する，もくろむs again. I'm not ashamed any longer. He did love me."
She stood there smiling for a little space. And then the smile faded.
"Oh, if I had only got that letter!" she whispered piteously.
Only two weeks till the wedding. Emily 設立する out how long two weeks can be, in spite of the fact that every waking moment was （人が）群がるd with doings, 国内の and social. The 事件／事情／状勢 was much talked of everywhere. Emily 始める，決める her teeth and went through with it. Ilse was here—there—everywhere. Doing nothing—説 much.
"About as composed as a flea," growled Dr. Burnley.
"Ilse has got to be such a restless creature," complained Aunt Elizabeth. "She seems to be 脅すd people wouldn't know she was alive if she sat still a moment."
"I've got forty-nine 治療（薬）s for seasickness," said Ilse. "If Aunt Kate Mitchell gets here I'll have fifty. Isn't it delightful to have thoughtful 親族s, Emily?"
They were alone in Ilse's room. It was the evening Teddy was 推定する／予想するd. Ilse had tried on half a dozen different dresses and 投げ上げる／ボディチェックするd them aside scornfully.
"Emily, what will I wear? Decide for me."
"Not I. Besides—what difference does it make what you put on?"
"True—too true. Teddy never notices what I have on. I like a man who does notice and tells me of it. I like a man who likes me better in silk than in gingham."
Emily looked out of the window into a 絡まるd garden where the moonlight was an untroubled silver sea 耐えるing softly on its breast a (n)艦隊／(a)素早い of poppies. "I meant that Teddy—won't think of your dress—only of you."
"Emily, why do you 固執する in talking as if you thought Teddy and I were madly in love with each other? Is it that Victorian コンビナート／複合体 of yours?"
"For heaven's sake, shut up about things Victorian!" Emily exclaimed with unusual, un-Murray-like 暴力／激しさ. "I'm tired of it. You call every nice, simple, natural emotion Victorian. The whole world to-day seems to be 法外なd in a 軽蔑（する） for things Victorian. Do they know what they're talking of? But I like sane, decent things—if that is Victorian."
"Emily, Emily, do you suppose Aunt Elizabeth would think it either a sane or decent thing to be madly in love?"
Both girls laughed and the sudden 緊張 relaxed.
"You're not off, Emily?"
"Of course I am. Do you think I'd play gooseberry at such a time as this?"
"There you go again. Do you think I want to be shut up alone a whole evening with undiluted Teddy. We'll have a scene every few minutes over something. Of course scenes are lovely. They brighten up life so. I've just got to have a scene once a week. You know I always did enjoy a good fight. Remember how you and I used to 捨てる? You 港／避難所't been a bit of good at a 列／漕ぐ／騒動 lately. Even Teddy is only half-hearted in a 始める，決める-to. Perry, now—he could fight. Think what gorgeous 列／漕ぐ／騒動s Perry and I would have had. Our quarrels would have been splendid. Nothing petty—or quarrelsome—about them. And how we would have loved each other between them! O-hone-a-rie!"
"Are you hankering after Perry Miller yet?" 需要・要求するd Emily ひどく.
"No, dear 幼児. And neither am I crazy about Teddy. After all, ours is only second-手渡す love on both 味方するs, you know. 冷淡な soup warmed over. Don't worry. I'll be good for him. I'll keep him up to the notch in everything much better than if I thought him a little lower than the angels. It doesn't do to think a man is perfection because he 自然に thinks so, too, and when he finds some one who agrees with him he is inclined to 残り／休憩（する） on his oars. It riles me up a bit when every one seems to think I'm so amazingly lucky to 'get' Teddy for a husband. Comes Aunt Ida Mitchell—'You are getting a perfectly wonderful husband, Ilse'—comes Bridget Mooney from Stovepipe Town scrubbing the 床に打ち倒す—'Gosh but you're gettin' a swell man, 行方不明になる'—'Sisters under their 肌s,' you perceive. Teddy is 井戸／弁護士席 enough—特に since he 設立する out he isn't the only man in the world. He has learned sense somewhere. I'd like to know what girl taught it to him. Oh, there was one. He told me something about the 事件／事情／状勢—not much but enough. She used to 無視する，冷たく断わる him terribly—and then after she had led him on to think she cared she turned him 負かす／撃墜する 冷淡な. Never even answered the letter in which he told her he loved her. I hate that girl, Emily—isn't it 半端物?"
"Don't hate her," said Emily, wearily. "Perhaps she didn't know what she was doing."
"I hate her for using Teddy like that. Though it did him heaps of good. Why do I hate her, Emily? 雇う your renowned 技術 in psychological 分析 and expound to me that mystery."
"You hate her—because—to borrow a 確かな 天然のまま 表現 we've often heard—you're 'taking her leavings.'"
"You demon! I suppose it's so. How ugly some things are when you ferret them out! I've been flattering myself that it was a noble 憎悪 because she made Teddy 苦しむ. After all, the Victorians were 権利 in covering lots of things up. Ugly things should be hidden. Now, go home if go you must and I'll try to look like some one about to receive a blessing."
Lorne Halsey （機の）カム with Teddy—the 広大な／多数の／重要な Halsey whom Emily liked very much in spite of his gargoyleishness. A comical looking fellow with 決定的な, mocking 注目する，もくろむs, who seemed to look upon everything in general and Frederick Kent's wedding in particular as a 抱擁する joke. Somehow, this 態度 made things a little easier for Emily. She was very brilliant and gay in the evenings they all spent together. She was terribly afraid of silence in Teddy's presence. "Never be silent with the person you love and 不信," Mr. Carpenter had said once. "Silence betrays."
Teddy was very friendly, but his gaze always omitted Emily. Once, when they all walked in the old, overgrown, willow-国境d lawn of the Burnley place, Ilse つまずくd on the happy idea of 選ぶ-out your favourite 星／主役にする.
"地雷 is Sirius. Lorne?"
"Antares of the Scorpion—the red 星／主役にする of the south," said Halsey.
"Bellatrix of Orion," said Emily quickly. She had never thought about Bellatrix before, but she dared not hesitate a moment before Teddy.
"I have no especial favourite—there is only one 星／主役にする I hate. Vega of the Lyre," said Teddy 静かに. His 発言する／表明する was 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金d with a significance which 即時に made every one uncomfortable though neither Halsey nor Ilse knew why. No more was said about 星／主役にするs. But Emily watched alone till they faded out one by one in the 夜明け.
Three nights before the wedding-day Blair Water and Derry Pond were much scandalized because Ilse Burnley had been seen 運動ing with Perry Miller in his new run-about at some ungodly hour. Ilse coolly 認める it when Emily reproached her.
"Of course I did. I had had such a dull, bored evening with Teddy. We began it 井戸／弁護士席 with a quarrel over my blue Chow. Teddy said I cared more for it than I did for him. I said of course I did. It infuriated him, though he didn't believe it. Teddy, manlike, really believes I'm dying about him.
"'A dog that never chased a cat in its life,' he sneered.
"Then we both sulked the 残り／休憩（する） of the evening. He went home at eleven without kissing me. I 解決するd I'd do something foolish and beautiful for the last time, so I こそこそ動くd 負かす／撃墜する the 小道／航路 for a lovely, lonely walk 負かす／撃墜する to the dunes. Perry （機の）カム along in his car and I just changed my mind and went for a little moonlit spin with him. I wasn't married yet. Don't be after looking at me so. We only stayed out till one and we were really very good and proper. I only wondered once—just what would happen if I suddenly said, 'Perry, darling, you're the only man I've ever really cared a hang for. Why can't we get married?' I wonder if when I'm eighty I'll wish I'd said it."
"You told me you had やめる got over caring for Perry.'
"But did you believe me? Emily, thank God you're not a Burnley."
Emily 反映するd 激しく that it was not much better 存在 a Murray. If it had not been for her Murray pride she would have gone to Teddy the night he called her—and she would have been tomorrow's bride—not Ilse.
To-morrow. It was to-morrow—the morrow when she would have to stand 近づく Teddy and hear him 公約するing lifelong devotion to another woman. All was in 準備完了. A wedding-supper that pleased even Dr. Burnley, who had 法令d that there should be "a good, old-fashioned wedding-supper—非，不，無 of your modern dabs of this and that. The bride and groom mayn't want much maybe, but the 残り／休憩（する） of us still have stomachs. And this is the first wedding for years. We've been getting pretty much like heaven in one 尊敬（する）・点 anyhow—neither marrying nor giving in marriage. I want a spread. And tell Laura for heaven's sake not to yowl at the wedding."
So Aunts Elizabeth and Laura saw to it that for the first time in twenty years the Burnley house had a 徹底的な きれいにする from 最高の，を越す to 底（に届く）. Dr. Burnley thanked God 強制的に several times that he would only have to go through this once, but nobody paid any attention to him. Elizabeth and Laura had new satin dresses made. It was such a long time since they had had any excuse for new satin dresses.
Aunt Elizabeth made the wedding-cakes and saw to the hams and chickens. Laura made creams and jellies and salads and Emily carried them over to the Burnley Place, wondering at times if she wouldn't soon wake up—before—before—
"I'll be glad when all this fuss is over," growled Cousin Jimmy. "Emily's working herself to death—look at the 注目する，もくろむs of her!"
"Stay with me to-night, Emily," entreated Ilse. "I 断言する I won't talk you to death and I won't cry either. Though I 収容する／認める if I could just be 消すd out to-night like a candle I wouldn't mind. ジーンズ Askew was Milly Hyslop's bridesmaid and she spent the night before her wedding with her and they both cried all night. Fancy such an orgy of 涙／ほころびs. Milly cried because she was going to be married—and I suppose ジーンズ must have been crying because she wasn't. Thank heaven, Emily, you and I were never the miauling 肉親，親類d. We'll be more likely to fight than cry, won't we? I wonder if Mrs. Kent will come to-morrow? I don't suppose so. Teddy says she never について言及するs his marriage. Though he says she seem oddly changed—gentler—calmer—more like other women. Emily, do you realize that by this time to-morrow I'll be Ilse Kent?"
Yes, Emily realized that.
They said nothing more. But two hours later when wakeful Emily had supposed the motionless Ilse was sound asleep Ilse suddenly sat up in bed and grabbed Emily's 手渡す in the 不明瞭.
"Emily—if one could only go to sleep unmarried—and wake up married—how nice it would be."
It was 夜明け—the 夜明け of Ilse's wedding-day. Ilse was sleeping when Emily slipped out of bed and went to the window. 夜明け. A cluster of dark pines in a trance of 静める 負かす／撃墜する by the Blair Water. The 空気／公表する tremulous with elfin music; the 勝利，勝つd winnowing the dunes; dancing amber waves on the harbour; the eastern sky abloom; the lighthouse at the harbour pearl-white against the ethereal sky; beyond all the blue field of the sea with its 泡，激怒すること blossoms and behind that golden 煙霧 that 列d the hill of the Tansy Patch, Teddy—wakeful—waiting—welcoming the day that gave him his heart's 願望（する）. Emily's soul was washed empty of every wish or hope or 願望（する） except that the day were over.
"It is," she thought, "慰安ing when a thing becomes irrevocable."
"Emily—Emily."
Emily turned from the window.
"It's a lovely day, Ilse. The sun will 向こうずね on you. Ilse—what is the 事柄? Ilse—you're crying!"
"I can't—help it," 匂いをかぐd Ilse. "It seems to be the proper, inescapable caper after all. I beg Milly's 容赦. But—I'm so beastly afraid. It's an infernal sensation. Do you think it would do any good if I threw myself on the 床に打ち倒す and 叫び声をあげるd?"
"What are you afraid of?" said Emily, a little impatiently.
"Oh,"—Ilse sprang defiantly out of bed—"afraid I'll stick my tongue out at the 大臣. What else?"
What a morning! It always seemed a sort of nightmare recollection to Emily. Guests of the 一族／派閥 （機の）カム 早期に—Emily welcomed them until she felt that the smile must be frozen on her 直面する. There were endless wedding-gifts to unwrap and arrange. Ilse, before she dressed, （機の）カム to look them over indifferently.
"Who sent in that afternoon tea-始める，決める?" she asked.
"Perry," said Emily. She had helped him choose it. A dainty service in a quaint old-fashioned rose design. A card with Perry's 黒人／ボイコット forcible handwriting. "To Ilse with the best wishes of her old friend Perry."
Ilse deliberately 選ぶd up piece after piece and dashed it in fragments on the 床に打ち倒す before the transfixed Emily could stop her.
"Ilse! Have you gone crazy?"
"There! What a glorious 粉砕する! Sweep up the fragments, Emily. That was just as good as 叫び声をあげるing on the 床に打ち倒す. Better. I can go through with it now."
Emily 性質の／したい気がして of the fragments just in time—Mrs. Clarinda Mitchell （機の）カム 大波ing in, in pale-blue muslin and cherry-hued scarf. A sonsy, smiling, good-hearted cousin-by-marriage. 利益／興味d in everything. Who gave this?—Who had sent that?
"She'll be such a 甘い bride, I'm sure," 噴出するd Mrs. Clarinda. "And Teddy Kent is such a splendid fellow. It's really an ideal marriage, isn't it? One of those you read about! I love weddings like this. I thank my 星／主役にするs I didn't lose my 利益／興味 in youthful things when I lost my 青年. I've lots of 感情 in me yet—and I'm not afraid to show it. And did Ilse's wedding stockings really cost fourteen dollars?"
Aunt Isabella Hyslop, nee Mitchell, was 暗い／優うつな. 感情を害する／違反するd because her 高くつく／犠牲の大きい 現在の of 削減（する） sherbet glasses had been placed beside Cousin Annabel's funny 始める，決める of old-fashioned crocheted doilies. Inclined to take a dark 見解（をとる） of things.
"I hope everything will go off 井戸／弁護士席. But I've got an uneasy feeling that trouble is coming—a presentiment, so to speak. Do you believe in 調印するs? A big 黒人／ボイコット cat ran 権利 across the road in 前線 of us 負かす／撃墜する in the hollow. And 権利 on that tree as we turned in at the 小道／航路 was the fragment of an old 選挙 poster, 'Blue 廃虚,' in 黒人／ボイコット letters three インチs long 星／主役にするing us in the 直面する."
"That might mean bad luck for you, but hardly for Ilse."
Aunt Isabella shook her 長，率いる. She would not be 慰安d.
"They say the wedding dress is like nothing ever seen on Prince Edward Island. Do you think such extravagance proper, 行方不明になる Starr!"
"The expensive part of it was a 現在の from Ilse's old 広大な／多数の／重要な-aunts in Scotland, Mrs. Mitchell. And most of us are married only once."
その結果 Emily remembered that Aunt Isabella had been married three times and wondered if there wasn't something in 黒人／ボイコット cat 魔法.
Aunt Isabella swept coldly off, and later on was heard to say that "that Starr girl is really intolerable since she got a 調書をとる／予約する published. Thinks herself at liberty to 侮辱 any one."
Emily, before she had time to thank the 運命／宿命s for her freedom, fell into the clutches of more Mitchell 親族s. This aunt did not 認可する of another aunt's gift of a pair of ornate Bohemian glass vases.
"Bessie Jane never had much sense. A foolish choice. The children will be sure to unhook the prisms and lose them."
"What children?"
"Why, the children they will have, of course."
"行方不明になる Starr will put that in a 調書をとる／予約する, Matilda," 警告するd her husband, chuckling. Then he chuckled again and whispered to Emily:
"Why aren't you the bride to-day? How come Ilse to 削減（する） you out, hey?"
Emily was thankful when she was 召喚するd upstairs to help Ilse dress. Though even here aunts and cousins kept bobbing in and out, 説 distracting things.
"Emily, do you remember the day of our first summer together when we fought over the honour of playing bride in one of our 劇の stunts? 井戸／弁護士席, I feel as if I were just playing bride. This isn't real."
Emily felt, too, as if it were not real. But soon—soon now—it would be all over and she could be blessedly alone. And Ilse when dressed was such an exquisite bride that she 正当化するd all the fuss of the wedding. How Teddy must love her!
"Doesn't she look just like a queen?" whispered Aunt Laura adoringly.
Emily having slipped into her own harebell blue kissed the 紅潮／摘発するd maiden 直面する under the rose-point cap and pearls of its bridal 隠す.
"Ilse dear, don't think me hopelessly Victorian if I say I hope you'll be happy 'ever after.'"
Ilse squeezed her 手渡す, but laughed a little too loudly.
"I hope it isn't Queen Victoria Aunt Laura thinks I 似ている," she whispered. "And I have the most horrible 疑惑 that Aunt Janie Milburn is praying for me. Her 直面する betrayed her when she （機の）カム in to kiss me. It always makes me furious to 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う that people are praying for me. Now, Emily, do me one last favour. Herd everybody out of this room—everybody. I want to be alone, 絶対 alone, for a few minutes."
Somehow Emily managed it. The aunts and cousins ぱたぱたするd downstairs. Dr. Burnley was waiting impatiently in the hall.
"Won't you soon be ready? Teddy and Halsey are waiting for the signal to go into the 製図／抽選-room."
"Ilse wants a few minutes alone. Oh, Aunt Ida, I'm so glad you got here"—to a stout lady who was coming pantingly up the stairs. "We were afraid something had happened to 妨げる you."
"Something did," gasped Aunt Ida—who was really a second-cousin. In spite of her breathlessness Aunt Ida was happy. She always liked to be the first to tell a piece of news—特に unpleasant news. "And the doctor couldn't come at all—I had to get a taxi. That poor Perry Miller—you know him, don't you? Such a clever young chap—was killed in a モーター 衝突／不一致 about an hour ago."
Emily stifled a shriek, with a frantic ちらりと見ること at Ilse's door. It was わずかに ajar. Dr. Burnley was 説:
"Perry Miller killed. Good God, how horrible!"
"井戸／弁護士席, as good as killed. He must be dead by this time—he was unconscious when they dragged him out of the 難破させる. They took him to the Charlottetown hospital and 'phoned for 法案, who dashed 権利 off, of course. It's a mercy Ilse isn't marrying a doctor. Have I time to take off my things before the 儀式?"
Emily, 鎮圧するing her anguish over Perry, showed Aunt Ida to the spare room and returned to Dr. Burnley.
"Don't let Ilse know about this," he 警告を与えるd needlessly. "It would spoil her wedding—she and Perry were old cronies. And hadn't you better hurry her up a little? It's past the time."
Emily, with more of a nightmare feeling than ever, went 負かす／撃墜する the hall and knocked on Ilse's door. There was no answer. She opened the door. On the 床に打ち倒す in a forlorn heap lay the bridal 隠す and the priceless bouquet of orchids which must have cost Teddy more than any Murray or Burnley bride had ever paid before for her whole trousseau, but Ilse was nowhere to be seen. A window was open, the one over the kitchen stoop.
"What's the 事柄?" exclaimed Dr. Burnley impatiently, coming up behind Emily. "Where's Ilse?"
"She's—gone," said Emily stupidly
"Gone—gone where?"
"To Perry Miller." Emily knew it やめる 井戸／弁護士席. Ilse had heard Aunt Ida and—
"Damn!" said Dr. Burnley.
In a few moments the house was a scene of びっくり仰天 and flabbergasted wedding guests, all exclaiming and asking questions. Dr. Burnley lost his 長，率いる and turned himself loose, running through his whole repertoire of profanity, 関わりなく women-folks.
Even Aunt Elizabeth was paralysed. There was no precedent to go by. Juliet Murray, to be sure, had eloped. But she had got married. No 一族／派閥 bride had ever done anything like this. Emily alone 保持するd some 力／強力にする of 合理的な／理性的な thought and 活動／戦闘. It was she who 設立する out from young 略奪する Mitchell how Ilse had gone. He had been parking his car in the barnyard when—
"I saw her spring out of that window with her train wrapped around her shoulders. She slid 負かす／撃墜する the roof and jumped to the ground like a cat—tore out to the 小道／航路, jumped in Ken Mitchell's runabout and was off like the devil was after her. I thought she must have gone crazy."
"She has—in a way. 略奪する, you must go after her. Wait—I'll get Dr. Burnley to go with you. I must stay here to see to things. Oh, be as quick as you can. It's only fourteen miles to Charlottetown. You can go and come in an hour. You must bring her 支援する—I'll tell the guests to wait—"
"You'll not make much out of this mess, Emily," prophesied 略奪する.
Even an hour like that passed. But Dr. Burnley and 略奪する returned alone. Ilse would not come—that was all there was to it. Perry Miller was not killed—was not even 本気で 負傷させるd—but Ilse would not come. She told her father that she was going to marry Perry Miller and nobody else.
The doctor was the centre of a little group of 狼狽d and tearful women in the upper hall. Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Laura, Aunt Ruth, Emily.
"I suppose if her mother had lived this wouldn't have happened," said the doctor dazedly. "I never dreamed she cared for Miller. I wish somebody had wrung Ida Mitchell's neck in time. Oh, cry—cry—yes, cry"—ひどく to poor Aunt Laura. "What good will yelping do? What a devil of a mess! Somebody's got to tell Kent—I suppose I must. And those distracted fools 負かす／撃墜する there have to be fed. That's what half of them （機の）カム for, anyway. Emily, you seem to be the only creature left in the world with a 穀物 of sense. See to things, there's a good girl."
Emily was not of an hysterical temperament, but for the second time in her life she was feeling that the only thing she could do would be to 叫び声をあげる as loud and long as possible. Things had got to the point where only 叫び声をあげるing would （疑いを）晴らす the 空気／公表する. But she got the guests marshalled to the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議するs. Excitement 静めるd 負かす／撃墜する somewhat when they 設立する they were not to be cheated out of everything. But the wedding-feast was hardly a success.
Even those who were hungry had an uneasy feeling that it wasn't the thing to eat heartily under such circumstances. Nobody enjoyed it except old Uncle Tom Mitchell, who 率直に went to weddings for the spread and didn't care whether there was a 儀式 or not. Brides might come and brides might go but a square meal was a 料金d. So he ate 刻々と away, only pausing now and then to shake his 長，率いる solemnly and ask, "What 空気／公表する the women coming to?"
Cousin Isabella was 始める，決める up on presentiments for life, but nobody listened to her. Most of the guests were afraid to speak, for 恐れる of 説 the wrong thing. Uncle Oliver 反映するd that he had seen many funeral repasts that were more cheerful. The waitresses were hurried and flurried and made ludicrous mistakes. Mrs. Derwent, the young and pretty wife of the new 大臣, looked to be on the point of 涙／ほころびs—nay, 現実に had 涙／ほころびs in her 注目する，もくろむs. Perhaps she had been building on the 見込みのある wedding 料金. Perhaps its loss meant no new hat for her. Emily, ちらりと見ることing at her as she passed a jelly, 手配中の，お尋ね者 to laugh—a 願望（する） as hysterical as her wish to 叫び声をあげる. But no 願望（する） at all showed itself on her 冷淡な white 直面する. Shrewsbury people said she was as disdainful and indifferent as always. Could anything really make that girl feel?
And under it all she was 熱心に conscious of only one question. "Where was Teddy? What was he feeling—thinking—doing?" She hated Ilse for 傷つけるing him—shaming him. She did not see how anything could go on after this. It was one of those events which must stop time.
"What a day!" sobbed Aunt Laura as they walked home in the dusk. "What a 不名誉! What a スキャンダル!"
"Allan Burnley has only himself to 非難する," said Aunt Elizabeth. "He has let Ilse do 絶対 as she pleases all her life. She was never taught any self-支配（する）／統制する. All her life she had done 正確に／まさに as she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to do whenever the whim took her. No sense of 責任／義務 whatever."
"But if she loved Perry Miller," pleaded Laura.
"Why did she 約束 to marry Teddy Kent then? And 扱う／治療する him like this? No, you need make no excuses for Ilse. Fancy a Burnley going to Stovepipe Town for a husband.
"Some one will have to see about sending the 現在のs 支援する," moaned Laura. "I locked the door of the room where they were. One never knows—at such a time—"
Emily 設立する herself alone in her room at last—too dazed, stricken, exhausted, to feel much of anything. A 抱擁する, 一連の会議、交渉／完成する, （土地などの）細長い一片d ball unrolled itself on her bed and opened wide pink jaws.
"Daff," said Emily wearily, "you're the only thing in the world that stays put."
She had a 汚い sleepless night with a 簡潔な／要約する 夜明け slumber. From which she wakened to a new world where everything had to be readjusted. And she felt too tired to care for readjustment.
Ilse did not look as if she 手配中の，お尋ね者 excuses made for her when, two days later, she walked unannounced into Emily's room. She looked rosy, audacious, 勝利を得た.
Emily 星／主役にするd at her.
"井戸／弁護士席, I suppose the 地震 is over. What is left standing?"
"Ilse! How could you!"
Ilse pulled a notebook out of her handbag and pretended to 協議する it.
"I wrote 負かす／撃墜する a 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of the things you'd say. That was the first one. You've said it. The next is, 'Aren't you ashamed of yourself?' I'm not, you know,' 追加するd Ilse impudently.
"I know you're not. That's why I don't ask it."
"I'm not ashamed—and I'm not sorry. I'm only a little bit sorry that I'm not sorry. And I'm shamelessly happy. But I suppose I spoiled the party. No 疑問 the old meows are having the time of their lives. They've got their craws 十分な for once."
"How do you suppose Teddy is feeling?" asked Emily 厳しく.
"Is he feeling any worse than Dean did? There's an old proverb about glass houses."
Emily crimsoned.
"I know—I used Dean 不正に—but I didn't—
"Jilt him at the altar! True. But I didn't think about Teddy at all when I heard Aunt Ida say Perry was killed. I was やめる mad. My one thought was to see Perry once before he died. I had to. And I 設立する when I got there that, as 示す Twain said, the 報告（する）／憶測 of his death was 大いに 誇張するd. He wasn't even 不正に 傷つける—was sitting up in bed, his 直面する all bruised and 包帯d—looking like the devil. Want to hear what happened, Emily?"
Ilse dropped on the 床に打ち倒す at Emily's feet—and looked coaxingly up into Emily's 直面する.
"Honey, what's the use of disapproving a thing that was foreordained? That won't alter anything. I got a glimpse of Aunt Laura in the sitting-room as I こそこそ動くd upstairs. She was looking like something that had been left out 夜通し. But you have a streak in you that isn't Murray. You should understand. Don't waste your sympathy on Teddy. He doesn't love me—I've always known it. It's only his conceit that will 苦しむ. Here—give him his sapphire for me, will you?" Ilse saw something in Emily's 直面する she didn't like. "It can go to join Dean's emerald."
"Teddy left for Montreal the day after—after—"
"After the wedding that wasn't," finished Ilse. "Did you see him, Emily?"
"No."
"井戸／弁護士席, if he'd go and shoot big game in Africa for awhile he'd get over it very quickly. Emily, I'm going to marry Perry—next year. It's all settled. I fell on his neck and kissed him as soon as I saw him. I let go my train and it streamed magnificently over the 床に打ち倒す. I knew the nurse thought I had just got out of Dr. Percy's 私的な 亡命. But I turned her out of the room. And I told Perry I loved him and that I would never, never marry Teddy Kent no 事柄 what happened—and then he asked me if I'd marry him—or I told him he must marry me—or neither of us asked—we just understood. I honestly don't remember which—and I don't care. Emily, if I were dead and Perry （機の）カム and looked at me I'd live again. Of course I know he's always been after you—but he's going to love me as he never loved you. We were made for each other."
"Perry was never really in love with me," said Emily. "He liked me tremendously, that was all. He didn't know the difference—then." She looked 負かす／撃墜する into Ilse's radiant 直面する—and all her old, old love for this perverse, adorable friend 急ぐd to 注目する，もくろむs and lips.
"Dearest, I hope you'll be happy—always."
"How blessedly Victorian that sounds!" said Ilse contentedly. "Oh, I can be 静かな now, Emily. For weeks I've been afraid that if I let myself be 静かな for a moment I'd bolt. And I don't even mind if Aunt Janie is praying for me. I believe I rather hope she is."
"What does your father say?"
"Oh, Dad." Ilse shrugged her shoulders. "He's still in the clutches of his old ancestral temper. Won't speak to me. But he'll come 一連の会議、交渉／完成する. He's really as much to 非難する as I am for what I've done. You know I've never asked anyone in my life if I could do a thing. I just did it. Father never 妨げるd me. At first because he hated me—then because he 手配中の，お尋ね者 to （不足などを）補う for hating me."
"I think you'll have to ask Perry いつかs if you can do things."
"I won't mind that. You'll be surprised to see what a dutiful wife I'll make. Of course I'm going 権利 away—支援する to work. And in a year's time people will have forgotten—and Perry and I will be married 静かに somewhere. No more rose-point 隠すs and Oriental trains and 一族／派閥 weddings for me. Lord, what an escape! Then minutes later I'd have been married to Teddy. Think what a スキャンダル there'd have been then when Aunt Ida arrived. Because I'd have gone just the same, you know."
That summer was a hard time for Emily. The very anguish of her 苦しむing had filled life and now that it was over she realized its emptiness. Then, too, to go anywhere meant 殉教／苦難. Everyone talking about the wedding, asking, wondering, surmising. But at last the wild gossip and clatter over Ilse's kididoes had finally died away and people 設立する something else to talk about. Emily was left alone.
Alone? Ay, that was it. Always alone. Love—friendship gone forever. Nothing left but ambition. Emily settled herself resolutely 負かす／撃墜する to work. Life ran again in its old accustomed grooves. Year after year the seasons walked by her door. Violet-ぱらぱら雨d valleys of spring—blossom-script of summer—minstrel-モミs of autumn—pale 解雇する／砲火／射撃s of the 乳の Way on winter nights—soft, new-mooned skies of April—gnomish beauty of dark Lombardies against a moonrise—深い of sea calling to 深い of 勝利，勝つd—lonely yellow leaves 落ちるing in October dusks—woven moonlight in the orchard. Oh, there was beauty in life still—always would be. Immortal, indestructible beauty beyond all the stain and blur of mortal passion. She had some very glorious hours of inspiration and 業績／成就. But mere beauty which had once 満足させるd her soul could not wholly 満足させる it now. New Moon was 不変の, undisturbed by the changes that （機の）カム どこかよそで. Mrs. Kent had gone to live with Teddy. The old Tansy Patch was sold to some Halifax man for a summer home. Perry went to Montreal one autumn and brought Ilse 支援する with him. They were living happily in Charlottetown, where Emily often visited them, astutely 避けるing the matrimonial 罠（にかける）s Ilse was always setting for her. It was becoming an 受託するd thing in the 一族／派閥 that Emily would not marry.
"Another old maid at New Moon," as Uncle Wallace said gracefully.
"And to think of all the men she might have had," said Aunt Elizabeth 激しく. "Mr. Wallace—Aylmer Vincent—Andrew—"
"But if she didn't—love—them," 滞るd Aunt Laura.
"Laura, you need not be indelicate."
Old Kelly, who still went his 一連の会議、交渉／完成するs—"and will till the 割れ目 of doom," 宣言するd Ilse—had やめる given up teasing Emily about getting married, though he occasionally made regretful, cryptic allusions to "toad ointment." There was 非，不，無 of his 重要な nods and winks. Instead, he always 厳粛に asked her what 調書をとる／予約する she did be working on now, and drove off shaking his spiky gray 長，率いる. "What do the men be thinking of, anyway? Get up, my nag, get up."
Some men were still thinking of Emily, it appeared. Andrew, now a きびきびした young widower, would have come at the beck of a finger Emily never 解除するd. Graham Mitchell, of Shrewsbury, unmistakably had 意向s. Emily wouldn't have him because he had a slight cast in one 注目する，もくろむ. At least, that was what the Murrays supposed. They could think of no other 推論する／理由 for her 拒絶 of so good a match. Shrewsbury people 宣言するd that he 人物／姿／数字d in her next novel and that she had only been "主要な him on" to "get 構成要素." A という評判の Klondike "millionaire" 追求するd her for a winter, but disappeared as 簡潔に in the spring.
"Since she has published those 調書をとる／予約するs she thinks no one good enough for her," said Blair Water folks.
Aunt Elizabeth did not 悔いる the Klondike man—he was only a Derry Pond Butterworth, to begin with, and what were the Butterworths? Aunt Elizabeth always contrived to give the impression that Butterworths did not 存在する. They might imagine they did, but the Murrays knew better. But she did not see why Emily could not take Mooresby, of the 会社／堅い of Mooresby and Parker, Charlottetown. Emily's explanation that Mr. Mooresby could never live 負かす／撃墜する the fact that he had once had his picture in the papers as a Perkins' Food Baby struck Aunt Elizabeth as very 不十分な. But Aunt Elizabeth at last 認める that she could not understand the younger 世代.
Of Teddy Emily never heard, save from 時折の items in newspapers which 代表するd him as 前進するing 刻々と in his career. He was beginning to have an international 評判 as a portrait painter. The old days of magazine illustrations were gone and Emily was never now 直面するd with her own 直面する—or her own smile—or her own 注目する，もくろむs—looking out at her from some casual page.
One winter Mrs. Kent died. Before her death she sent Emily a 簡潔な／要約する 公式文書，認める—the only word Emily had ever had from her.
"I am dying. When I am dead, Emily, tell Teddy about the letter. I've tried to tell him, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell my son I had done that. Tell him for me."
Emily smiled sadly as she put the letter away. It was too late to tell Teddy. He had long since 中止するd to care for her. And she—she would love him for ever. And even though he knew it not, surely such love would hover around him all his life like an invisible benediction, not understood but dimly felt, guarding him from ill and keeping from him all things of 害（を与える） and evil.
That same winter it was bruited abroad that Jim Butterworth, of Derry Pond, had bought or was about to buy the Disappointed House. He meant, so rumour said, to 運ぶ／漁獲高 it away, 再構築する and 大きくする it; and doubtless when this was done he would 任命する／導入する therein as mistress a 確かな buxom, thrifty damsel of Derry Pond known as "Geordie 橋（渡しをする）'s Mabel." Emily heard the 報告（する）／憶測 with anguish. She slipped out that evening in the 冷気／寒がらせる spring dusk and went up the 薄暗い overgrown path over the spruce hill to the 前線 gate of the little house like an unquiet ghost. Surely it couldn't be true that Dean had sold it. The house belonged to the hill. One couldn't imagine the hill without it.
Once Emily had got Aunt Laura to see about bringing her own 所持品 from it—all but the gazing-ball. She could not 耐える to see that. It must be still hanging there, 反映するing in its silver gloom by the 薄暗い light that fell through the slits of the shutters, the living-room just as it was when she and Dean had parted. Rumour said Dean had taken nothing from it. All he had put in it was still there.
The little house must be very 冷淡な. It was so long since there was a 解雇する／砲火／射撃 in it. How neglected—how lonely—how heartbroken it looked. No light in the window—grass growing thickly over the paths—階級 少しのd （人が）群がるing around the long-unopened door.
Emily stretched out her 武器 as if she 手配中の，お尋ね者 to put them around the house. Daff rubbed against her ankles and purred pleadingly. He did not like damp, chilly prowls—the fireside at New Moon was better for a pussy not so young as he once was. Emily 解除するd the old cat and 始める，決める him on the 崩壊するing gatepost.
"Daff," she said, "there is an old fireplace in that house—with the ashes of a dead 解雇する／砲火／射撃 in it—a fireplace where pussies should bask and children dream. And that will never happen now, Daff, for Mabel Geordie doesn't like open fireplaces—dirty, dusty things—a Quebec heater is so much warmer and more economical. Don't you wish—or do you!—Daff, that you and I had been born sensible creatures, alive to the superior advantages of Quebec heaters!"
It （機の）カム 明確に and suddenly on the 空気／公表する of a June evening. An old, old call—two higher 公式文書，認めるs and one long and soft and low. Emily Starr, dreaming at her window, heard it and stood up, her 直面する suddenly gone white. Dreaming still—she must be! Teddy Kent was thousands of miles away, in the Orient—so much she knew from an item in a Montreal paper. Yes, she had dreamed it—imagined it.
It （機の）カム again. And Emily knew that Teddy was there, waiting for her in Lofty John's bush—calling to her across the years. She went 負かす／撃墜する slowly—out—across the garden. Of course Teddy was there—under the モミs. It seemed the most natural thing in the world that he should come to her there, in that old-world garden where the three Lombardies still kept guard. Nothing was wanting to 橋（渡しをする） the years. There was no 湾. He put out his 手渡すs and drew her to him, with no 従来の 迎える／歓迎するing. And spoke as if there were no years—no memories—between them.
"Don't tell me you can't love me—you can—you must—why, Emily"—his 注目する，もくろむs had met the moonlit brilliance of hers for a moment—"you do."
"It's dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other," said Emily some minutes—or hours—later.
"I've been trying all my life to tell you I loved you," said Teddy. "Do you remember that evening long ago in the To-morrow Road after we left high school? Just as I was trying to screw up my courage to ask you if you'd wait for me you said night 空気／公表する was bad for you and went in. I thought it was a poor excuse for getting rid of me—I knew you didn't care a hoot about night 空気／公表する. That 始める，決める me 支援する for years. When I heard about you and Aylmer Vincent—Mother wrote you were engaged—it was a 汚い shock. For the first time it occurred to me that you really didn't belong to me, after all. And that winter when you were ill—I was nearly wild. Away there in フラン where I couldn't see you. And people 令状ing that Dean Priest was always with you and would probably marry you if you 回復するd. Then （機の）カム the word that you were going to marry him. I won't talk of that. But when you—you—saved me from going to my death on the Flavian I knew you did belong to me, once and for all, whether you knew it or not. Then I tried again that morning by Blair Water—and again you snubbed me mercilessly. Shaking off my touch as if my 手渡す were a snake. And you never answered my letter. Emily, why didn't you? You say you've always cared—"
"I never got the letter."
"Never got it? But I mailed it—"
"Yes, I know. I must tell you—she said I was to tell you—" She told him 簡潔に.
"My mother? Did that?"
"You mustn't 裁判官 her 厳しく, Teddy. You know she wasn't like other women. Her quarrel with your father—did you know—"
"Yes, she told me all about that—when she （機の）カム to me in Montreal. But this—Emily—"
"Let us just forget it—and 許す. She was so warped and unhappy she didn't know what she was doing. And I—I—was too proud—too proud to go when you called me that last time. I 手配中の，お尋ね者 to go—but I thought you were only amusing yourself—"
"I gave up hope then—finally. It had fooled me too often. I saw you at your window, 向こうずねing, as it seemed to me, with an icy radiance like some 冷淡な wintry 星／主役にする—I knew you heard me—it was the first time you had failed to answer our old call. There seemed nothing to do but forget you—if I could. I never 後継するd, but I thought I did—except when I looked at Vega of the Lyre. And I was lonely. Ilse was a good pal. Besides, I think I thought I could talk to her about you—keep a little corner in your life as the husband of some one you loved. I knew Ilse didn't care much for me—I was only the なぐさみ prize. But I thought we could jog along very 井戸／弁護士席 together and help each other keep away the fearful lonesomeness of the world. And then"—Teddy laughed at himself—"when she 'left me at the altar' によれば the very 決まり文句／製法 of Bertha M. Clay I was furious. She had made such a fool of me—me, who fancied I was beginning to 削減（する） やめる a 人物／姿／数字 in the world. My word, how I hated women for awhile! And I was 傷つける, too. I had got very fond of Ilse—I really did love her—in a way."
"In a way." Emily felt no jealousy of that.
"I don't know as I'd take Ilse's leavings," 発言／述べるd Aunt Elizabeth.
Emily flashed on Aunt Elizabeth one of her old starry looks.
"Ilse's leavings. Why, Teddy has always belonged to me and I to him. Heart, soul and 団体／死体," said Emily.
Aunt Elizabeth shuddered. One せねばならない feel these things—perhaps—but it was indecent to say them.
"Always sly," was Aunt Ruth's comment.
"She'd better marry him 権利 off before she changes her mind again," said Aunt Addie.
"I suppose she won't wipe his kisses off," said Uncle Wallace.
Yet, on the whole, the 一族／派閥 were pleased. Much pleased. After all their 苦悩s over Emily's love 事件／事情／状勢s, to see her "settled" so respectably with a "boy" 井戸／弁護士席 known to them, who had, so far as they knew at least, no bad habits and no disgraceful antecedents. And who was doing pretty 井戸／弁護士席 in the 商売／仕事 of picture-絵. They would not 正確に／まさに say so, but Old Kelly said it for them.
"Ah, now, that's something like," said Old Kelly approvingly.
Dean wrote a little while before the 静かな bridal at New Moon. A fat letter with an enclosure—a 行為 to the Disappointed House and all it 含む／封じ込めるd.
"I want you to take this, 星／主役にする, as my wedding-gift. That house must not be disappointed again. I want it to live at last. You and Teddy can make use of it as a summer home. And some day I will come to see you in it. I （人命などを）奪う，主張する my old corner in your house of friendship now and then."
"How very—dear—of Dean. And I am so glad—he is not 傷つける any longer."
She was standing where the To-morrow Road opened out on the Blair Water valley. Behind her she heard Teddy's eager footsteps coming to her. Before her on the dark hill, against the sunset, was the little beloved grey house that was to be disappointed no longer.
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