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| A Life Redirected |
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| The Story of an Illness |
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| by Karl-Erik Tallmo |
| (på svenska) |
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 The article is also 利用できる as PDF for better printing.
AS I WOKE UP one morning in May 1993, everything changed. Life changed. It would turn out, this was a day of the 肉親，親類d that 構成するs a 境界設定. Everything that had happened in my life would from then on be categorized by if it had occurred before or after that particular date. Life took a new direction.
I had been to a party the evening before; maybe I had had a little more to drink than usual, and now I woke up with horrible 収縮過程s in my stomach, sending a sense of backward suction through my chest up to my heart, which seemed to skip a few （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域s or （警官の）巡回区域，受持ち区域 out of rhythm. I was also 極端に 極度の慎重さを要する to light, and a strange 肉親，親類d of fogginess had settled over my brain. Could it be some sort of powerful hangover? I never had hangovers, not even 穏やかな ones. Could it be a heart attack? At 40 years of age? I was very alarmed indeed.
The 収縮過程s （機の）カム at 不規律な intervals, at the most with a few minutes in between. Each time, I felt I had to give myself a blow on the chest with my 握りこぶし, as if I had to keep my heart 続けざまに猛撃するing. I really had the feeling it would stop, each time that sucking feeling （機の）カム up from my stomach. Then I thought: 中央の-life 危機. It's probably something mental. I had not experienced any anguish as my 40th birthday approached, but I certainly lived under a pretty hard 圧力 and 強調する／ストレス. And this was something one had learned, the insidious working ways of the subconscious. So, the same morning I got to the psychiatric 緊急 区 at the St. Goran Hospital in Stockholm. A doctor talked 簡潔に with me, and I got some tranquilizers, but no real help.
”At the dinner （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する I might 突然に get so 極端に exhausted and dizzy, that I すぐに had to go to bed. I could sleep the whole day. I could sleep for two days. I slept and I slept - and woke up even more tired than when I went to bed.”
This was the 序幕 to a 恐ろしい period. I could experience seconds of 灯火管制／停電s while walking in the street, I became dizzy and staggered on the sidewalk. Most of the times when I entered a department 蓄える／店, I すぐに felt as if a wet rag was placed 直接／まっすぐに on 最高の，を越す of my brain, I got 冷淡な sweat and my 団体／死体 was filled with a sense of extreme 強調する／ストレス, which grew toward a feeling of very 厳しく bridled panic. If someone was with me, I became remarkably silent and it was difficult for me to speak. Most of that passed as soon as I was out again in the street, and after another hour or two it was 完全に gone. Much later I realized that I had become 極度の慎重さを要する toward electricity. I had sensed the 量 of fluorescent light tubes inside the department 蓄える／店, 特に in those departments where the 天井 was low and the lamps の近くに. But I didn't realize this until the 影響 had appeared a few times, and I saw that this also 同時に起こる／一致するd with the presence of many and strong light tubes. In the severest 事例／患者s the 収縮過程s in my stomach made me 倍の 二塁打.
The worst thing was not knowing, not having a 手がかり（を与える） about what was going on. During the summer and 落ちる that year I 協議するd lots of doctors. At the Sofiahemmet hospital they believed my affliction was panic-attacks, and they gave me a small brochure for その上の reading. And I did read, since I tried to keep an open mind toward any diagnosis, if only I could get some explanation to 持つ／拘留する on to. The seizures continued, I was 脅すd to death and thought I was dying almost every 選び出す／独身 minute during that summer and 落ちる 1993. A tremendous 圧力, which I tried to コースを変える by working - when I had the strength, that is. Because I was also struck by a 疲労，（軍の）雑役 of almost cosmic dimensions.
This 疲労，（軍の）雑役 would come suddenly. At the dinner （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する I might 突然に get so 極端に exhausted and dizzy, that I すぐに had to go to bed. I could sleep the whole day. I could sleep for two days. I slept and I slept - and woke up even more tired than when I went to bed. I slept for days, with only a vague 認識／意識性 of what went on around me, how the sun rose behind the shade - and how it 始める，決める. I was so tired and my muscles so weak at those occasions that I couldn't even reach out and answer the phone, although it sat on the 病人の枕元 （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する half a メーター away.
I still remember, from this period, how the 無線で通信する was on at my 病人の枕元, and when I floated up to a 明言する／公表する of at least drowsiness, I often heard the 広大な／多数の／重要な 攻撃する，衝突する song of that summer, the one with the 禁止（する）d 4 非，不，無 Blondes, where the vocalist Linda Perry sings "I cry いつかs when I'm lying in bed - I am feeling a little peculiar" and then how she 叫び声をあげるs "from the 最高の，を越す of my 肺s" - into my half conscious brain: "WHAT'S GOING ON?" For more than six months that song was my 主題 song. Yes, what the hell was going on?
As time passed, the more I got the feeling those psychiatric or psychosomatic explanations did not make sense at all. I scrutinized myself: did the symptoms appear when I was exposed to something unpleasant in the 現在の, or something that could be 関係のある to something unpleasant in my childhood? Or, did they perchance appear when I felt good - によれば that 肉親，親類d of upside 負かす／撃墜する thinking that says you might be afraid of success, that 井戸／弁護士席-存在 生成するs feelings of 犯罪? No, as a 事柄 of fact, I could not find any 関係s, neither direct ones nor indirect ones. I had a 永久の, 執拗な 苦痛 in my feet, as if I had walked ten miles in too small shoes. I had spasms and convulsions, which in the worst 事例／患者s 似ているd epileptic seizures. These could go on for five or ten minutes, and いつかs I was shaking hard enough to 落ちる out of my bed. When I was as most sick, it always 同時に起こる／一致するd with my having a sense of 酸性 in my stomach and a strange 生産／産物 of 空気／公表する that made me burp for 10, 20, or even 30 minutes.
No, 苦悩 was hardly the 原因（となる）. Certainly, I got pretty anguished as a result of all these 理解できない symptoms, but this was hardly what 原因（となる）d them.
My 協議s with doctors continued. One gastric specialist 定める／命ずるd Losec, another one sent me to gastroscopic examination, a couple of neurologists had me go through both EEG and computer tomography (CT) scanning. A general practitioner 検査／視察するd my stomach with ultrasonics and took lots of 血 見本s. Another doctor took other 血 見本s and also my EEG. Everything was alright. I was as sound as a bell. The 実験（する）s 証明するd it.
Nothing 肉体的に wrong. Which meant, I was 現実に going crazy. Or?
井戸／弁護士席, it was a bit strange that this had not occurred to me before: During the years 1991-92 I had had my dental amalgam fillings 除去するd and 交流d with 合成物 (plastic) fillings. Could I have been 負傷させるd by that? The 推論する／理由 for me not to think of this already when the symptoms appeared in May was probably that I had this naive notion that since the amalgams were out, they could hardly 原因（となる） any 害（を与える）. But what if 水銀柱，温度計 had been 解放（する）d during the very 除去 of the fillings, and this 水銀柱，温度計 had 負傷させるd me? The dentist who 除去するd my fillings used no special 予防の 手はず／準備 at all. She didn't really believe in all this talk about the harmfulness of amalgam, but she thought that if people were willing to 支払う／賃金 her for 除去するing the fillings, why wouldn't she do it?
The irony of it all was that I got the idea to 除去する my amalgams not because I had any symptoms that I could relate to 水銀柱，温度計 - I just had a vague feeling that keeping 水銀柱，温度計 in one's mouth was not such a good idea, since it was a known 環境の toxin 同様に as a neurotoxin. So, as a prophylactic 手段, to 妨げる 未来 problems, I thought it would be wise to 取って代わる the amalgams with 合成物 fillings.
Having started this line of 推論する／理由ing, that my old dentist was 現実に 有罪の of malpractice, I tried to find another dentist who believed there really was a danger connected with amalgam fillings and thus 適用するd all the necessary 警戒s while working with them. I 設立する one, and like the old one, my new dentist was also a woman. During October and November she 除去するd a few smaller amalgam fillings that (luckily) the other dentist had not bothered to 演習 out.
Ten years earlier, I had had a root canal filled in a molar, the "minus six", to the 権利 in my lower jaw. My new dentist almost jumped at the sight of it. 現実に, root canals could be the root of much evil, she （人命などを）奪う，主張するd. And the gums around the root did not look very healthy, she also 公式文書，認めるd. Later I learned that filled root canals may 含む／封じ込める all sorts of harmful 構成要素s, such as creosote, red lead, phenol, or formalin, and metals such as cadmium, 水銀柱，温度計, silver, and 巡査, in 構内／化合物s that might 反応する galvanically, so that the element would precipitate in pure form into the 団体／死体. Root canals may also be the hotbed for ウイルス 緊張するs, that 生き残る for years, maybe １０年間s, in the dead capillaries, which, if one stretches them out, could be a mile in length. Such ウイルスs can also spread within the cavities of the cranium, 影響する／感情ing the nervous system, and thus 原因（となる）ing all sorts of troubles, neurological problems for instance.[1] I did not know all this at the time, but when my new dentist in December 完全に 抽出するd the dead root, I had yet some 期待s that this would have some good 影響 on my poor health. I agreed when my dentist 示唆するd that I should not put in anything new, but let it be a gap where the tooth once was.
While still sitting in the dentist's 議長，司会を務める after the root had been 抽出するd, I felt a sort of inexplicable 救済, as if my whole organism now breathed more 自由に. I left the dental clinic on 異常に light feet and with my brain clearer than it had been for six months. I did not, however, dare to hope for too much, since I was aware of the 可能性 that all this maybe was a result of my 期待s. The sense of 救済 could have been a placebo 影響, but I still wish to make a 公式文書，認める of it, since it was one of the most 際立った 影響s I have experienced from any 治療 or 医薬 during all of the years I have been ill.[2]
I was still working very hard during this period - that is, on days I was not lying knocked-out in my bed, unable to even move. I had finally finished authoring a program with （一定の）期間ing 演習s for school-children, "The Word Machine", which I started selling during the 落ちる. I had also become 利益／興味d in the Internet and a novelty called the World Wide Web.
In the spring 1994 I was also selling a couple of other programs of my own design, a simple hyperbook 道具 and a Macintosh e-調書をとる／予約する 見解／翻訳／版 of a Swedish humorous classic, "Falstaff fakir".
I 協議するd more doctors. I got the advice to take minerals and ビタミンs ーするために help my 団体／死体 get rid of a possible 水銀柱，温度計 汚染, 含むing for instance selenium, magnesium and ビタミン E. This did not have any 即座の noticeable 影響, but maybe it was a good idea in the long run to take these 補足（する）s.
My 一時的な 改良 after the root extraction had abated, and the brainfog settled again just as frequently as before, my feet and 脚s ached, 疲労，（軍の）雑役 struck when I least 推定する／予想するd it and those sudden heart cramps and muscle spasms 待ち伏せ／迎撃するd me again irregularly when I sat in my desk 議長，司会を務める at the computer. I took 持つ／拘留する of the arm-残り／休憩（する）s and held on until the attack was over and then I went on working. It was not unusual for me to work 15 or 17 hours each day. I had started on a 抱擁する 事業／計画（する）, translating and doing the graphic design of a 手動式の for IDG 調書をとる／予約するs about the spreadsheet program Excel 5, a handbook 構成するing 800 pages. Concentrating very hard on my work was a very conscious 戦略 to 避ける 完全にする paralysis from 恐れる of what my 団体／死体 was up to.
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"Low-予算 hyperbook 道具" and the Swedish humor classic "Falstaff fakir", published in 1994. These were the first two 肩書を与えるs of a planned 一連の small programs and e-調書をとる／予約するs.
Working on the 調書をとる／予約する during the spring and summer 1994 was a truly surreal experience, since I had an 極端に tight schedule and was supposed to 配達する five translated 一時期／支部s for proof-reading (of a total of 36) each fortnight and at the same time work on the graphic design. For this work I had to use two computers on my desktop, my usual Mac which I used for 令状ing, and a PC with Windows to be able to tell what the dialogs of Excel and Windows 陳列する，発揮するd. 著名な here was that I could すぐに sense 不快 from the PC 監視する, even if it was the only one turned on, while it took much longer time for me to 反応する to the Mac 監視する. Exposing myself to both these 放射（能） sources at the same time was, however, not possible. I was 軍隊d to move the PC to a desk at the other end of the room, and then I wheeled myself on my desk 議長，司会を務める to the PC each time I had to check something up - and then 支援する. It was 半端物 to realize that I had become oversensitive to electricity. In the 中央の-80's I was working at a newspaper where a 女性（の） 同僚 had such problems - she couldn't even type on an ordinary electric typewriter. I think we were a few who regarded her as a bit 高度に strung. During the spring I also remade my program "Skriv rätt" ("令状 正確に") for use within Wordfinder's 爆撃する program, and when the Excel 調書をとる／予約する was finished in September, I lead a course in stylistics at the RMI-Berghs School of Communication. In retrospect I can scarcely understand how I could work that hard. As if that was not enough, I also got the idea to start a cultural magazine on the Internet and began 集会 構成要素 for what was to become The Art 貯蔵所. This tremendous working frenzy can probably be explained only by my wish to 軍隊 存在 into normality, at least for as long as I had not received a diagnosis. It is peculiar that knowing is of such importance. "Maybe the most awful 病気 is not the one that cannot be cured, but is the one that cannot be identified", wrote Jim 国会s in a review of Kim Snyder's movie "I remember me".[3] At this time I had, however, started to regard myself as 水銀柱，温度計 毒（薬）d from dental amalgams. No 実験（する）s 証明するd this yet, but it still seemed the most plausible explanation. Although difficult times as they were, I had hardly at all been 公式に sick-名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）d until 1995. 存在 self-雇うd one may 組織する one's time 自由に and I had feverishly tried to do what I should do, even if this happened at very strange hours. In 1995 this became impossible, and I had to stay sick-名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）d for longer periods, and worked part-time, 50 パーセント at times, 25 パーセント at others. I 充てるd my working hours to web design assignments, lecturing, and the editing of The Art 貯蔵所. I had been in 接触する with a doctor in Upplands Väsby for a few months. To some extent he co-operated with the いわゆる Amalgam 部隊 at the Academic hospital in Uppsala. He had helped me by 定める／命ずるing 注射s with ビタミン B12. I had learned that ビタミン B12 was often 厳しく deficient in 患者s in my predicament. I had deliberately 避けるd 伝統的な 医薬. There was no 欠如（する） of suggestions regarding strong painkillers or 麻薬s like prozac, which could alter the serotonin status in the brain. But I preferred to stick with the ビタミンs and minerals. Still, I had 設立する that most of the 補足（する）s I had taken so far, had had 影響s only within the "garlic interval", as I call it: some 影響 is perhaps detectable, but on the other 手渡す you don't know how you would have felt if you had not taken the 実体 in question. Regarding the B12 注射s, I had a feeling that they 現実に did have a little more 相当な 影響 than that. まず第一に／本来, my brain （疑いを）晴らすd somewhat, which is not without significance. 執拗な 苦痛 is something one can get used to, if one must. But not dizziness, extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役 and 無（不）能 to remember and to think.
My stomach got more and more dysfunctional, and frequently I had horrible 苦痛s in the duodenum area. On December 8th, 1995 I had to go to the hospital by 救急車, for my stomach 苦痛s and cramps. At that time I started to understand how exposed and 攻撃を受けやすい chronically ill people are, 特に with a diffuse and 論争d illness like 地雷. I had to 嘘（をつく） for hours in a hospital 回廊（地帯） with lots of fluorescent lights which より悪くするd my 条件. The fact that I had more たびたび（訪れる） cramps and spasms and hardly could talk was regarded 単に as squeamishness or malingering. And that talk about dental amalgam was not something the doctor took any notice of. My neurological symptoms didn't seem to 存在する. The doctor squeezed a little on my stomach, 布告するd his diagnosis, gastric catarrh, and 定める／命ずるd Zantac. I have become just as ill at several later occasions but have then 棄権するd from going to the hospital to 避ける getting worse. I had for a while been considering the 可能性 of 接触するing the Amalgam 部隊 in Uppsala, and after my experience at the 緊急 区 I decided that it was about time. I visited their 一時的に 兵舎 at the Academic hospital on December 14th. They drew 血 that filled twelve 実験（する） tubes. It was not until February I got to know the results. Dr. Danersund wrote in his judgment that the 実験（する） results 示すd that "the 患者 at the time the 実験（する）s were made had inflammatory reactions 類似の to those one may 観察する in 患者s wih chronic inflammation of the connective tissue". I 解釈する／通訳するd this as fibromyalgia. その上に, they had 遂行する／発効させるd a 実験（する） called MELISA, which is a method to see if there are traces of さまざまな allergens の中で those white 血 独房s called lymphocytes, and when such traces occur the 独房s are called memory 独房s.[4] In my 血 the MELISA 実験（する） showed memory 独房s 示すing （危険などに）さらす to several metals: inorganic 水銀柱，温度計, methyl 水銀柱，温度計, lead, and nickel. Else the 率s were normal regarding other metals, 血 fat, electrolytes etc. Dr. Danersund 示唆するd supplementation with B12 and folic 酸性の, which I had already started taking. This was the first time a 実験（する） had shown anything どれでも. It was a 肉親，親類d of 救済 that my 疑惑s had been 立証するd. その結果 I was not just imagining that I had fibromyalgia or had been exposed to high doses of 水銀柱，温度計. Now there were 研究室／実験室 実験（する）s 示すing that it might be just so. Maybe the 水銀柱，温度計 in my 団体／死体 was already excreted and gone, and what was to be done now, was to try to 修理 the 損失 this metal had 原因（となる）d while still 現在の in my 団体／死体 - 損失 on, for instance, the 免疫の system or the central nervous system. On the other 手渡す, one could not be sure that all the 水銀柱，温度計 was gone. A 血 実験（する） does not tell the whole story. 水銀柱，温度計 can still be 罠にかける within the 独房s in さまざまな 組織／臓器s in the 団体／死体, for example in the brain. In January-February 1996 I did an アレルギー 実験（する） of filling 構成要素s at the Bethania 創立／基礎's hospital, which was 示唆するd to me by my new dentist. 肌 実験（する）s showed a reactivity against not just 水銀柱，温度計, but also acrylates, which is a 構成要素 in plastic fillings, いわゆる 合成物s. But I had 取って代わるd my amalgams with acrylates. Now, would it be necessary to 除去する these too - was I in for yet another change? My new dentist started on this. Now, I would get porcelain, which at this time was still regarded as the least allergenic for 極度の慎重さを要する persons. Indeed, it was not 平易な to 知らせる oneself about the variety of 構成要素s. And - did one really dare to 信用 the dentists? If they had been wrong about 水銀柱，温度計 amalgams, maybe they could be wrong again. As a 批判的な 患者 one was supposed to not just ascertain that the dentist used a filling 構成要素 解放する／自由な of, for instance, formaldehyde, titanium, silver, アルミ or harmful pigments - but also make sure that the fillings were fastened with a 固く結び付ける one could 許容する. Because 固く結び付ける and 孤立／分離 might 含む／封じ込める harmful elements such as arsenic or 実体s that many people are allergic to, like sulfonamide or eugenol. It had already cost me thousands of dollars to 取って代わる fillings, and now more was to come. The porcelain was not formed in the cavity of the tooth like amalgam. Instead a casting of the 演習d cavity was made, and then the actual filling was 捏造する，製作するd at a dental 研究室／実験室 - at a cost of around 250 dollars each. I had about ten of a size suitable for this type of filling - a few cavities were too small, so the 合成物s would remain there, for the time 存在. My doctor in Upplands Väsby had その上に 示唆するd that I had my 肝臓's detox capacity 実験（する）d, because if I was 水銀柱，温度計 毒（薬）d and the toxin still remained in my tissues, it was of 最高位の importance that my 団体／死体 could get rid of it. In December 1996 I collected a 24 hour 見本 of urine, after taking caffeine and ナトリウム bensoate. I will not account for every 詳細（に述べる） here, but the result showed 確かな 騒動s 特に in the second detox 段階, where the 肝臓 produces water soluble 実体s from toxins, so that these can be excreted through the 腎臓s and the urine. If this 段階 is 機能不全ing, a 確かな 量 of toxins will instead be solved in fat, and 蓄える／店d in the nervous system and the brain. ーするために support my 肝臓 機能（する）／行事 I was recommended to take glutathione, acetylcysteine, antioxidants etc.[5] The 交替／補充 of fillings continued during 1996, and one day in the late summer of 1997 the last of my acrylates was 演習d out, and this sort of porcelain, called Vita Inceram, was put in. One cannot really be 確かな of any filling 構成要素, but 水銀柱，温度計 amalgam is probably the worst. This definitely 暗示するs the best argument for 小衝突ing one's teeth: without cavities, there will of course be no need at all for any fillings どれでも! Up till now, I had written only a very 簡潔な／要約する health diary, hoping to 位置／汚点／見つけ出す some 肉親，親類d of pattern, but from 1997 on I started keeping a 詳細（に述べる）d 記録，記録的な／記録する of what food I ate, which 補足（する）s I took and how I felt. At times, when I have been too ill to 令状, I have instead made 発言する／表明する annotations with the help of a 口述 recorder. This small machine has been of 広大な／多数の／重要な help also in my profession, when I have been 準備するing for a lecture or working on an article - without 存在 able to sit at my desk. いつかs my brain 作品 罰金, but my 団体／死体 doesn't. In such 事例／患者s I can still get 奮起させるd and come up with ideas which I 逮捕（する） on tape, while lying in bed. Then, when it is the opposite, my 団体／死体 作品, but not my brain, I can type out my annotations on the computer. This is comparatively a rather mechanical work, that doesn't 要求する so much cognitive sharpness.
At this time I took 抱擁する 量s of ビタミンs and minerals. Many in my 状況／情勢 take multivitamin pills or special liquid 解答s 含む／封じ込めるing up to maybe a hundred different 実体s. But I preferred taking one 実体 at a time, to be able to tell which one that かもしれない had some 影響. The 最大限 is around 18-20 different 要約する／（宇宙ロケットの）カプセルs or tablets two or three times a day. It was seldom いっそう少なく than five different 実体s. Such 消費 is expensive, of course, since very little of it is 定める／命ずるd by doctors and sold at 正規の／正選手 pharmacies. The most of it is of the 肉親，親類d I have to buy at special health food 蓄える／店s, and the cost 量s to 200-300 dollars a month. The 質 of these 補足（する）s 異なるs very much from brand to brand, for instance regarding magnesium or zinc. その上に, one must also decide on which 化学製品 form to use, some 構内／化合物 one's 団体／死体 吸収するs 井戸／弁護士席. When it comes to magnesium, for instance, one may choose between 酸化物, citrate, arginate, stearate etc. The menu of 補足（する）s I have taken through the years has been a bit different from time to time, but a 公正に／かなり constant basic 体制／機構 has been magnesium, zinc, ビタミン B 12, folic 酸性の, and ビタミン E. In 新規加入 I have frequently taken ビタミン A, D, B 6, B 2, and C; manganese, molybdenum, and selenium, 加える herbs such as St. John's wort, echinacea, euphorbia, artemisia annua, or olive leafs - the latter are まず第一に／本来 to 戦う／戦い 感染s and 上げるing my 免疫の system. On 最高の，を越す of that I have also 実験（する）d other 実体s for a few weeks or months, for instance, L-arginine, 5-HTP, S-adenosylmethionine, lipoic 酸性の, NADH, etc. かもしれない, arginine and lipoic 酸性の had some 影響 on my general 条件, but as ever so often their 有効性 lies within the について言及するd "garlic interval". To an 部外者 it must seem やめる insane to put such a lot of money into something with 明らかに very little 影響. However, if you have such 厳しい 病気s as these 述べるd here, and you think there is even a very small chance of 改良, you will take it, believe me. If you are 溺死するing and somebody throws you a life ブイ，浮標 of doubtful 質, you will of course reach for it rather than 沈む without trying it out. Up to 1997 my predominant symptom was extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役, and I could sleep forever. When I didn't sleep, or almost fainted from dizziness, I was working rather hard - gently but methodically. Besides, there were still the whole spectrum of spasms, nausea and ache in my stomach, 長，率いる, feet and 手渡すs. Around 1998 the symptom profile changed to some extent; now I had trouble sleeping. いつかs I could not sleep at all for several days or nights, and then I didn't do anything but sleep for a couple of days and nights. いつかs I could sleep almost like a normal person, for eight or nine hours, with one slight difference, however: I woke up once every five minutes, that is, about 90 times per night. This change in my symptoms also entailed a little いっそう少なく of spasms and cramps, but a より悪くするing of my muscle 苦痛. 今後 the 苦痛 in my 武器, 脚s, 手渡すs and feet became much much worse than before. And in 新規加入, my 共同のs started to ache 同様に. I had 設立する out a trick, however. I could 緩和する the 苦痛 somewhat by wearing elastic tube 包帯s on my 武器 and 脚s. More and more often I slept with these on. Gentle massage is a 救済 for the moment only, but as such it is still better than 非，不，無 at all, of course. Almost all the time my muscles have a sort of lumps lying 深い in the tissue, in my calves they might be the size of grapes. When massaged, these lumps always 生成する a 確かな reaction - I must exhale. 明白に it's a necessity and the impulse is 全く impossible to resist. It seems as if something is 解放（する）d from the muscle tissue into the 血 stream, and this has to be 空気／公表するd out すぐに through the 肺s. This is at least my theory. The 影響 is やめる fascinating, and it comes also while stretching (which, by the way, is an 不可欠の form av self-治療).[6] These tender points 深い within the muscles could 示す an illness called myofascial 苦痛 syndrome. However, my 苦痛 is also 位置を示すd to the muscular attachments, 特に at 肘s and 膝s, typical 苦痛 points in fibromyalgia. Too keep it simple, I now started to 言及する to my illness as fibromyalgia, rather than ばく然と 明言する／公表するing that I had something 似ているing chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome, fibromyalgia or myofascial 苦痛 syndrome. Fibromyalgia can be induced by many 原因（となる）s, 感染s, as a 複雑化 after child birth, when the 団体／死体 has been 支配する to shock, or after a car 事故 for instance - or from long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 強調する／ストレス. 強調する／ストレス might in this 事例／患者 denote a mental 緊張する 同様に as a physical 重荷（を負わせる） of, for instance, toxins. I believe my fibromyalgia - or what label we put の上に my 苦痛 syndrome - was induced by 毒（薬）ing from dental amalgams. Maybe other 有毒な （危険などに）さらす during my 青年, for instance from タバコ smoking or from work in a plastic factory with ガス／煙s of vinyl chloride, could also be parts of the causal puzzle.
Another change occurred around 1998, when I became 極端に susceptible to 感染s. 感染s now （機の）カム more often, consecutively or - as it seemed - even overlapping. I very seldom caught normal 冷淡なs, while I could have a sore throat one morning, and a running nose one afternoon, the day after maybe no such symptoms at all, but a week later I had a caugh for a few days. However, I got not just this 肉親，親類d of 感染s, but strange ones, ridiculous ones. One day I woke up with one 注目する，もくろむ bunged up, and another day my lip had swollen for no imaginable 推論する／理由. Sudden changes are also typical. I could be almost dying in the morning, could hardly speak or move, or even turn around in my bed. In the afternoon the same day I might be out shopping, checking out bookstores for some special item. I could also be so 極端に 極度の慎重さを要する to light, that I had to 嘘（をつく） in my dark bedroom, 注目する，もくろむs の近くにd and yet wearing sunglasses, just to 保護する myself from the very slight 量 of light that 漏れるd out at the 味方するs of the roller blind and managed to 侵入する my eyelids. The day after I could be out in the streets in 炎ing sunlight - and get along 罰金, even without sunglasses. It was like that with sound too. いつかs, I could very 井戸／弁護士席 stand - and enjoy - loud 激しく揺する music. And いつかs, I couldn't even 耐える the rustle from a newspaper.
”Sudden changes are also typical. I could be almost dying in the morning, could hardly speak or move, or even turn around in my bed. In the afternoon the same day I might be out shopping, checking out bookstores for some special item.”
I have heard a theory about this sensitivity in fibromyalgia 患者s. Our thresholds of perception and 苦痛 are so 極端に lowered that during 確かな periods there is only need for very weak stimuli ーするために induce a reaction. And this would not just 影響する／感情 the perception of sound and light - it would also explain why one might get 地位，任命する-演習 soreness as if one had run a マラソン - when one has just walked around the 封鎖する. 本人自身で, I have noticed that this depends much on whether I have been able to sleep 公正に／かなり 井戸／弁護士席 or not. If I just sleep one hour いっそう少なく than needed, it might result in this extreme sensitivity to light and sound. Smells also became a problem. 以前は I liked to use aftershave, but now this was impossible. A scent of perfume out on the street, that others probably could hardly discern, would make me so ill that I すぐに had to catch a taxi and go home. After that there were often many hours of horrible spasms, nausea and dizziness. I could get the same reaction from somebody walking and smoking a cigarette 20 or 30 メーターs ahead of me on the sidewalk. But this was also fluctuating. 確かな days, if I sat in a restaurant and somebody smoked at a （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する next to me, I could almost enjoy the smell. The fact is, there was a time when I smoked myself and never imagined I would turn into one of those boring creatures who ask people not to smoke. Unfortunately I have to do that いつかs nowadays. These paradoxical and sudden changes between 完全にする exhaustion and activity, between extreme sensitivity and unaffectedness, is something that makes the 病気 strange - in my own 見解（をとる） certainly, but above all probably in the 注目する，もくろむs of other people. To me it is an enigma, surely, but 真っ先の it is a very serious fact, whose real 存在 is not to be 疑問d. To other people it might seem as if one is just putting on a show or as if all this is a manifestation of some sort of hysteria. In August 1997 there was a 解雇する／砲火／射撃 at a paper 倉庫／問屋 in Västberga just outside of Stockholm, and the 激しい smoke 始める，決める like 霧 over the whole city. I got very nauseated and dizzy from this and had to の近くに the windows. The smoke that had already 注ぐd into my apartment was impossible to get rid of - since I could not open the windows without letting in more smoke. A real catch 22 状況／情勢. I 耐えるd hell for around 24 hours, with dizziness and 激しい spasms. This experience made me realize something I had never thought about before. When you read about, for instance, forest 解雇する／砲火／射撃s going on for weeks, like a few years ago in Miami or this year in Arizona and Australia, you mostly think about 即座の 損害賠償金 from the 解雇する／砲火／射撃 itself, but I had never before thought about how dreadful the smoke must be for sick people, for instance for asthmatics or others with some 肉親，親類d of hypersensitivity.
今後 more and more frequently I did not appear at 会合s, for instance, with the （a）忠告の／（n）警報 board at the 王室の Library. I also had to 取り消す a few lectures - 特に those 要求するing 非常に長い trips. I usually managed to go through with assignments in Stockholm or Uppsala if I 動員するd all my strength - I guess few in the audience 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd that I had travelled by taxi almost from my sickbed 直接／まっすぐに to the 壇・綱領・公約, and afterwards had to すぐに go home by car again. There are two factors that have helped me to 支持する my profession to some extent in spite of these circumstances:
The computer has also been a tremendous help in 医療の 事柄s. Through mailinglists one may get in touch with others with the same illness - and いつかs even with scientists 研究ing this field. In databases and on web pages one might find lots of （警察などへの）密告，告訴（状）, recently published 科学の articles, for instance, which one might discuss later with one's own 内科医. I have been lucky enough to find a couple of doctors who are open to carrying on a dialog with their 患者s. In September 1998 I 直す／買収する，八百長をするd a new 任命 at the Amalgam 部隊 in Uppsala. During that summer I had made a few excursions to natural therapists who dealt not only with ビタミンs and minerals (which they often are very knowledgeable about) but also practiced homeopathy, kinesiology etc. I have 広大な／多数の／重要な difficulties to 受託する these latter methods, but since I 協議するd these therapists for their knowledge about 栄養, I decided to let them try their other 技術s too. The result, however, was nil. So, I felt it was time to return to science again. New 血 実験（する）s were made in October, and they were compared to those made in 1995. Now Dr. Danersund 設立する that my reactivity to metals remained, and that it could lead to an immunological reaction on repeated （危険などに）さらす. Thus I should - of course - still 避ける everything I am hypersensitive to. The 実験（する） values, which Dr. Danersund earlier had referred to as 示唆するing "reactions 類似の to those one may 観察する in 患者s with chronic inflammation of the connective tissue", were now normal. This was surprising, since all the typical fibromyalgia symptoms - 共同の and muscle 苦痛 - rather had grown worse. 血 was also sent to another 研究室／実験室, where いわゆる flow cytometry, hormonal status and viral serology were checked. In the judgment there was 明言する／公表するd that I might have a "chronic reactivation of latent ウイルスs and a hereto 関係のある immunological dysfunction." This would be 一貫した with several articles I have read, where scientists try to ascribe the 原因（となる） of, for instance, chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome to viral 病気s residing more or いっそう少なく latent in 患者s. Such pathogens are for instance the Epstein-Barr ウイルス or the Cytomegalovirus (CMV). In my 事例／患者 there were 指示，表示する物s of reactions to a 確かな type of Epstein-Barr. They also 設立する an elevated prevalence of - の中で other types - the いわゆる CD8 分子 in serum, which is 関係のある to an 増加するd activity of a 確かな type of white 血 独房s (the いわゆる T suppressor 独房s), which in turn 示唆するs possible viral 病気. The values for the male sex hormones testosterone and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) in serum were low. In earlier 実験（する）s DHEA had not been low, but now Dr. Danersund 示唆するd that maybe I should 補足（する） with it. I started taking DHEA in March, 0.5 mg a day at bedtime.
Now I experienced the second 明確に discernible 影響 of a 治療 during all the years of my illness. The first time was when the root harboring my root canal was 抽出するd in its entirety. Now, in the spring of 1999, it was DHEA. One night (without DHEA) I woke up as usual every five minutes, but the next night (with DHEA) I woke up only every other hour. And this pattern continued. The 全体にわたる 影響 on my 団体／死体 and soul was amazing. I got more energy and perseverance. The 苦痛 withdrew a bit into the background and I could think clearer. I was out of bed in the daytime and not only at night. Unfortunately, this 影響 病弱なd away after だいたい six months. I have tried a couple of times to make a pause in taking DHEA and then start again, but I have never 達成するd the same 影響 again as in the spring 1999. I still take it almost every day, since my sleep gets わずかに better from it, but the other good 影響s are absent.[7] One of the more striking insights I have 伸び（る）d through all of this juggling with different dietary 補足（する）s and experiencing how the symptom spectrum broadens and changes, is how utterly intricate those systems are that 持続する the 機能（する）／行事s of the 団体／死体. When one reads more in 詳細（に述べる） about, for instance, the metabolism of the 独房, one is almost astounded that things don't go wrong more often than they do. Only the 決裂／故障 of glucose 伴う／関わるs around twenty 化学反応s and as many 補助装置ing enzymes. その上の support is also needed by several coenzymes and minerals. Now, if there is a 騒動, where in the 過程 should one 介入する? Should one 補足（する） with some enzyme, coenzyme or mineral? Or could it be, that some 緊張する of 腸の bacteria is 欠如（する）ing, that is needed for the 実体 in question to be resorbed? The 複雑さ is so 巨大な that one まず第一に／本来 realizes the need for 広大な／多数の／重要な 警告を与える: a need to 避ける the 危険 of upsetting these systems even more. This is why I try to 限界 my 範囲 of 補足（する）s to ビタミンs and minerals, 加える a few herbs, but in those instances I am very careful and look up possible 味方する-影響s in several 調書をとる／予約するs before taking anything. (Taking DHEA and an 時折の 苦痛 殺し屋 or sleeping pill are the only exceptions I have made from this 支配する.) At the 開始 of an art show a couple of years ago I ran into a cultural celebrity, who 示唆するd that I せねばならない try LSD. You have to 拡大する your mind, he said. Considering the fragility of the 団体／死体's systems, it would never occur to me to try 麻薬s. Many of those who romanticize the use of 麻薬s （人命などを）奪う，主張する that we all shall die once anyway. But the 麻薬 will perhaps not kill you, it might 手足を不自由にする／（物事を）損なう you, mentally or 肉体的に, and then you will have to struggle with some disability for １０年間s.
Since the year 2000 my health is 現実に poorer still, which many of the Art 貯蔵所 readers have noticed. At the beginning the magazine was published six times a year, then four times, and now unfortunately at very 不規律な intervals, once a year at best. 感染s steal most of my time nowadays. I might be in bed three or four weeks with something 似ているing a 冷淡な (or maybe three or four 冷淡なs in quick succession), after that a couple of weeks with (まず第一に／本来) 苦痛 in my stomach, 支援する and 長，率いる, together with a general sick-feeling, 含むing for instance 長，率いる 圧力 or light fever. Then maybe I will be out of bed for two or three days, 令状ing and going to the library (and, of course, if I happen to つまずく into an 知識, he or she then says I look so healthy!) - and then the next 感染 strikes and I might be 限定するd to my bed again for six weeks with, apart from all the usual symptoms, maybe a sore throat or 支援する 苦痛s etc. Those days when I am out in the town, with comparatively few symptoms, after having spent maybe weeks or months indoors, I always feel as if I were the comic （土地などの）細長い一片 hero the Phantom, dressed up as Mr. Walker: "There are times", the natives say, "when the Phantom leaves the ジャングル and walks the streets of the town as an ordinary man." Living indoor life that much makes the passing of time unreal. The seasonal changes become sudden and disconnected variations. I see the window rectangle filled with yellow leaves one day, green leaves the other, all at once the trees are naked or their 支店s 激しい with snow. It is like looking at a few 孤立するd color slides from different times of the year, and I get no feeling of 存在 a part of it. And one day I realize that two years have passed, while I am working on this 問題／発行する of The Art 貯蔵所. It's been like two months. It would have been nice to bring this account of my illness and its history to an end by 発表するing that I finally 設立する some miraculous cure and got 井戸／弁護士席 - or at least かなり better. Unfortunately, this has not happened yet. I must 収容する／認める that my assiduous bookkeeping of every 実体 I have taken and every 病気 or symptom turning up, has not 産する／生じるd many 手がかり（を与える）s. Of course, it has been impossible for me to 孤立する one variable at a time in my home 環境, as one can do in a 研究室／実験室. Say I was trying out arginine for a while. One day, however, when my health dived 特に 深い, I could not manage to stick to arginine only, but took five other 補足（する）s too. In such a 事例／患者 it is of course not 平易な to tell which 実体 it was that worked, if there was an 改良. In the autumn 2001 I sat 負かす／撃墜する for the first time and 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）d all of the symptoms I have had (and still have) over the years since 1993. I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd the multitude would be almost tragicomical, and when I counted them, I 設立する that the number of 際立った symptoms was 48. Of course, all of them don't appear together, but when my health is really bad, I might have around 30 of them at the same time. A really good day is a day with 苦痛 in my 武器 and 脚s and 手渡すs and feet only, but this does not happen more than maybe 20 days a year.[8] An 半端物 little symptom, that literally has been popping up now and then during these years, is a pale pock, the size of a thumbtack 長，率いる, that appears on my arm, always at times when my health is worse than bad. This pock always shows up 正確に／まさに on the same 位置／汚点／見つけ出す (to the ミリメートル) on the inside of my left forearm. 自然に, I have no idea what this means, but just the notion that a point on my 肌 has such a 明確な／細部 関係 with my 現在の health 条件 makes me wonder if there could be some truth in the theory of acupuncture points after all. The pock is certainly not a problem, so it is not on my 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of symptoms, but still it is an 利益／興味ing 現象. Usually it disappears after an hour or two. I still believe that a far more 重要な symptom is the already について言及するd feeling of 酸性 in my stomach, which 同時に起こる／一致するs with an abundant 空気／公表する 生産／産物, that results in an endless burping and a cramp-like ache emanating from the orifice of the stomach and going up through the esophagus. Through the years, this symptom has always appeared when I have been at my worst in other 尊敬（する）・点s. その上に, the last year the cramps and ache in my chest and around the larynx have grown more 厳しい. No doctor has 手配中の，お尋ね者 to を取り引きする this, maybe because they have not been able to understand the 関係, but I 本気で believe this could be an important 手がかり（を与える） to 調査／捜査する. Such a multitude of symptoms in one individual might give an uninitiated person the impression of a hypochondriac. But many of those I know of who are afflicted with these problems, are rather the opposite: surely they take notice of a new symptom, and certainly they 苦しむ by it, but there is often a 傾向 not to について言及する this to their doctor, because they regard it as just another manifestation of this strange illness. Or, maybe you do について言及する it - and then it might be the doctor who chooses to regard it as a manifestation of the already known affliction. Still, there could be a small but very important 危険 隠すd here: that one 無視（する）s some other serious 病気 that should need 誘発する attention. After nine years of struggle with this 執拗な and nightmarish illness, at least one thing is やめる （疑いを）晴らす: for me 感染s are the biggest problem. 苦痛 is something one, to some extent, can learn to live with. When it goes on day in and day out, it may still 身を引く into the background いつかs, when one is watching a good movie, reading an 利益／興味ing 調書をとる／予約する or in some other way is engaged in something. But 感染s strike you 負かす／撃墜する すぐに; all energy disappears and cramps, brainfog, sensitivity to light, 支援する 苦痛 etc. 始める，決める in. This part of the illness is impossible to 連合させる with either work or amusements. 感染s are also the biggest problem, because I cannot get any help through the 正規の／正選手 health care channels. What is most troublesome are the really long periods of illness, which the last few years have occurred during winter and spring. The period 1999/2000 I lived indoor life from December through March, the winter 2000/2001 from December through February. When I 令状 this, the period of 2001/2002, I am able to stay up working a few hours now and then, and my days of confinement seem to 延長する 井戸／弁護士席 into the month of July this time. It is hard for me to get to a 地元の clinic or hospital 区, and should I 後継する I know from earlier experience that it is most likely for me to come across a doctor who 1) would 定める／命ずる 抗生物質s (which would probably not help, since my 感染s are 推定では viral), or 2) would do the usual 実験（する）s which would show that I am healthy as a bell, thus 暗示するing that my problems are psychological, or 3) would regard the problem as, say, an ordinary 冷淡な, without taking into account the underlying chronic illness profile (the fact that earlier 実験（する）s have shown, for instance, hyperactive lymphocytes, is at the most taken notice of, without any 原因（となる） for 対策, however). There are also two other 危険s: In an intensely electrified 環境 such as a clinic, I might become even more sick. I also might 契約 付加 感染s by sitting in a waiting room with other sick 患者s. (A waiting room at, for instance, a special clinic for 感染s is like a switch board for ウイルスs. But those responsible seem to believe that if you are already ill, you can't get another illness on 最高の，を越す of that.)[9] その結果, I try to get on by myself as far as possible, with self-医薬 and 世帯 治療（薬）s: elderberry 抽出する, garlic, liquorice tea, ginger, aspirin,[10] olive leaves ... I 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑う there are やめる a few who in this way, to the very last 避ける 接触する with the 正規の／正選手 health care. One can only guess what is silently happening to these people.
 存在 chronically ill certainly changes your whole life. If you 港／避難所't had the 態度 earlier to relish the small things in life, you will get it when your health fails you long-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語. One also gets an all-pervading 利益／興味, the 利益／興味 in 回復. Every moment, even when one lies 負かす／撃墜する and out in bed, almost unable to think, there is still a sort of brooding going on, a turning over of the problem in one's mind, incessant 試みる／企てるs of finding new 手がかり（を与える）s, new ways to live with the illness, new ways to get rid of it: "Maybe I せねばならない check up my 甲状腺?" "Maybe qigong would 緩和する the muscle 苦痛?" "Did I ever try phosphatidylserine?" "Guess I せねばならない buy that 調書をとる／予約する on cytokines!" The illness is a 永久の companion. This is a fact that is very hard to communicate when 会合 other people, friends and 知識s, or 同僚s. Of course, they 会合，会う me on a 公正に／かなり bearable day - さもなければ I would not even be out of bed - so they probably don't think I look very sick. And I don't wish to talk too much about it. Still, that is what I always do. Since my illness 影響する／感情s everything I try to do, there is hardly any topic of conversation that 除外するs the experience of 取引，協定ing with this very 支配する in a 明言する／公表する of 存在 ill.
Since 2000 my health is even worse than earlier. This calendar shows the first six months 2002. Days with overstrike = bedridden most part of that day and night; checkmark = strong enough to go outdoors; unmarked days = medium bad, able to get out of bed, but not to go out.
Even this 事例／患者 history only 取引，協定s with a hundredth of what it might 構成する, but this was never supposed to be a 調書をとる／予約する. I could tell lots and lots about hair 分析, stool 見本s, theories I have 選ぶd up in 調書をとる／予約するs or on the Web, more 医薬s, strange therapists I have 遭遇（する）d, quarrels with the social 保険 office about remuneration etc. My prime 目的 is not, however, to 展示（する） my personal life - there is already too much of that on the Internet. The idea is to use a fair 量 of concreteness and 詳細（に述べる） in showing those who are not familiar with this 肉親，親類d of 病気 - both laymen and health care professionals - how it might strike and what everyday life with it is like. But it is also ーするつもりであるd for others who are afflicted. I know myself that it is often of 広大な／多数の／重要な value to read the accounts of others who are ill, to be able to compare predicaments and realize that others 株 your problems, and maybe also get a few tips about how to を取り引きする them. Planning something is の中で what is most difficult. When normal people say "I'll go see a movie on Saturday" or "on the 21st we will go to Copenhagen", to me this nowadays sounds very freewheeling and worriless indeed. Imagine, having such a 支配（する）／統制する of your life that you might 現実に know things about the 未来! As for myself, I can certainly 焦点（を合わせる） all my 意向s on, for instance, going to the movies a Saturday together with someone, but I can never 約束 anything. And it takes 準備. I must decide not to eat something daring, which might suddenly make me worse, and do all I can the evening before to get a 公正に／かなり good night. Just one hour いっそう少なく sleep than needed could produce dizziness and spasms, that would make such an 請け負うing impossible. There has been times when I have come as far as to take my 注射 of B12, sleep 公正に／かなり 井戸／弁護士席 during the night (maybe with a little help from ear-plugs and a ４半期/4分の1 of a sleeping pill) and then - as the finishing touch - i ーするつもりである to take a bath to 緩和する the muscle 苦痛. A bath could tip over the whole 事業／計画（する）, however, because while the muscles get better, dizziness and spasms might get worse. It is all very 予測できない. Often, days may start rather 約束ing, and I have 人物／姿／数字d out lots of things to do that have been 延期するd for months, and then a couple of minutes in the にわか雨 can be enough to make me 完全に exhausted, dizzy and 霧がかかった - then all I can do is take to the bed again! Of course, one gets depressed by this. 存在 軍隊d to again and again and again call things off that one has wished to do - and maybe in other people's 注目する，もくろむs appear unreliable or 欠如（する）ing in 利益／興味 - this is something that might discourage the most 保証するd 楽天主義者. 不景気 is, however, hardly the 原因（となる） of these 病気s, which some misinformed doctors like to believe. Depressivity might, on the other 手渡す, be a result. Under these circumstances, 接触するing 当局 or 医療の clinics becomes a rather 複雑にするd 手続き. I usually 落ちる asleep some time between four and seven in the morning. Then getting up for a scheduled phone 任命 at eight could be 絶対 impossible. Maybe I could はう to the telephone on all fours even on a bad day, but I would probably not be able to speak. It has happened that I have struggled for two or three months to make it for somebody's telephone hour at eight, trying and trying to be in 形態／調整 at such an ungodly hour. Then there is also the not insignificant problem to be able to work out what to say - when brainfog strikes, I might even forget my own phone number. It would be just my luck then, the day I finally sit at the phone with a （疑いを）晴らす mind, to find out that the person I have been trying to reach for so long now is on vacation. It would then probably take a few weeks more to get in phone 形態／調整 again at the appropriate time of the day. (いつかs, when such people use e-mail, it's a real blessing, since you can communicate with them at a time you choose yourself.)
”Most people afflicted with 病気s like fibromyalgia or chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome will sooner or later be 軍隊d to decide if they can 受託する their 病気 without 降伏するing to it.”
Most people afflicted with 病気s like fibromyalgia or chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome will sooner or later be 軍隊d to decide if they can 受託する their 病気 without 降伏するing to it. I guess most people try to live as before as long as possible, like I did in the beginning. If one tries that, one will get knocked 負かす／撃墜する more and more frequently. Finally one might not have the strength to do anything at all. However, 受託するing that life cannot be lived as before does not やむを得ず mean that one has given up all hope of 回復, that one has been 敗北・負かすd by the illness. I think it is rather the opposite. You can outsmart the illness to some extent if you learn what you can do and how to do it - and then stick to doing just that and nothing more. It is 平易な to get excited and overdo it when 運命／宿命 gives you a break and lets you do things. It takes som hard self-discipline to be able to rethink one's 優先s in life, ーするために decide what is really important to 達成する - and then have the courage to skip many of those things one has earlier considered to be imperative. (I am not so good at this myself, but I try!) Out of five big 利益／興味s, maybe you will keep and develop one or two, go for that which is most rewarding to you as a person, that which 供給するs most nourishment, so to speak. When it comes to practical things, one has to make out 類似の 優先s. Maybe one has to 制限する oneself to do just one important thing each week. Making a 確かな phone call one week. Getting to a 確かな shop to buy 空気／公表する-cleaner filters the other week. Going to the library the third. Those 固める／コンクリート 詳細（に述べる）s will, of course, 異なる from person to person, but the 原則 is the same. One has to find one's own 限界s and 可能性s, and really get to know this new person one has become. When comparing with one's old self, one must not 非難する the new person as a good-for-nothing. Hopefully you might discover that you have new 利益／興味ing 味方するs and talents. How your family 反応するs to your illness is very important. 冷淡な 親族s might 二塁打 the 重荷（を負わせる）, but if one has an understanding, supportive family, this can be an invaluable 力／強力にする source for the chronically 疲労，（軍の）雑役d, and it may also work as a floodgate against the 残り／休憩（する） of the world, thus making 遭遇（する）s with 知識s and 同僚s run more 滑らかに. At the same time one's family might need support too. Also 近づく 親族s experience a 重荷（を負わせる） in their grief at how much the ill person has changed. 消費するing 機械装置s could easily arise, 軍隊ing the sick to console their families for their own predicament, thus getting no なぐさみ themselves. Another pattern could be that the sick hide their symptoms in order not to worry their families too much. And then, the other family members, in their turn, will hide their anguish. Or, they might not dare to show themselves weak or ill, since an ordinary 冷淡な or aching 支援する could never be compared with this Big Mysterious 病気. However, if you are as fortunate as to be able to talk 率直に about all these 事柄s in an atmosphere of 相互の understanding of both what it means to be chronically ill and what it means to be a 近づく 親族 of somebody who is chronically ill, then you have an inestimable 創立／基礎 for at least 対処するing - and maybe 改良.
Many of those who call in question whether, for instance, 水銀柱，温度計 毒（薬）ing from dental amalgams or chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome are really 存在するing 病気s, often （人命などを）奪う，主張する that all this is 原因（となる）d by celebrities who 公然と 宣言する themselves afflicted - then their admirers 自動車-示唆する themselves into believing that they are ill too. This is nonsense, of course. On the other 手渡す, I do believe it is of importance that the public gets to know that people they 尊敬（する）・点 in one way or another have 病気s like these. Hopefully, this could make it a little more difficult to propagate the notion that those afflicted are all nutcases. There are, however, also some public 人物／姿／数字s 苦しむing from, for instance, 水銀柱，温度計 毒（薬）ing, electronsensitivity or fibromyalgia, who don't want to talk about it, since they feel this could 土台を崩す their 当局. This is very 理解できる. I myself have for a long time been hesitating to 令状 this article. 井戸／弁護士席-known people who 港／避難所't made a secret of their predicaments are, for instance, Mauritz Sahlin, former CEO of SKF (the ball 耐えるing company), his wife Ulla Hilding, (n)役員／(a)執行力のある search 顧問, and 新聞記者／雑誌記者 Gunnar Lindstedt. They 与える／捧げる with their stories in this 問題／発行する of The Art 貯蔵所.
”In Sweden it started when singer Gunnar Wiklund and 走者 Christer Garpenborg in the 70's appeared in the 圧力（をかける） with their accounts of life with the mysterious 病気 that was then called 'oral galvanism'.”
In Sweden it started when singer Gunnar Wiklund and 走者 Christer Garpenborg in the 70's appeared in the 圧力（をかける） with their accounts of life with the mysterious 病気 that was then called "oral galvanism". 新聞記者／雑誌記者 Barbro Jöberger, at Swedish daily Dagens Nyheter, was stricken with 水銀柱，温度計 amalgam 毒（薬）ing and wrote the 調書をとる／予約する "Amalgam: hotet mot din hälsa" [Amalgam: The 脅し against your health] (1989). There was a lot of talk about "yuppie flu" at this time, but more and more, as it became obvious that this 病気 did not 攻撃する，衝突する young 都市の professionals only, the 称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome caught on. In 1989 the actress Bea Arthur appeared in a special 二塁打-episode of the TV series "Golden girls", where she got chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome (によれば unverified sources she was afflicted also in real life). The episode was 非難するd for 存在 just an episode. The week after, Arthur's character Dorothy was fit and spry again, so maybe this only 確認するd some people in their prejudice that all it takes to get 井戸／弁護士席 from CFS is to 形態／調整 up a little. However, 価値（がある） remembering is when Dorothy told her doctor off in a way few of us have been able to do: I don't know when you doctors lose your humanity, but you do. You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers could get very sick, and very 脅すd for a while, you'd probably learn more than anything else. You better start listening to your 患者s. They need to be heard, they need care, they need compassion, they need …に出席するing to. You know, some day you're going to be on the other 味方する of the （米）棚上げする／（英）提議する, and as angry as I am, and as angry I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.[11] It is strange that so many doctors are surprised that 患者s いつかs are skeptical toward them ("when it （機の）カム to polemics, they showed little 調印する of 疲労，（軍の）雑役" - Dr Michael Fitzpatrick[12]) or that 患者s don't listen although "we've proven it over, and over, and over it's all in their 長，率いるs" (American 無線で通信する doctor Dean Edell).[13] If this 肉親，親類d of doctor would leave his car to a 修理 shop to get, say, the steering 直す／買収する，八百長をするd and the mechanic told him that "there's nothing wrong with the car, it's probably your 運動ing, why not take a few lessons and 小衝突 it up?" - then even the good doctor would probably get rather angry at the mechanic. "Of course I can tell myself that the steering pulls to one 味方する, you don't have to be a mechanic to see that!" the irritated doctor says. "Now, who's the 専門家 here, I have 直す／買収する，八百長をするd cars for 20 years", the mechanic says. "And I have been 運動ing cars for 20 years, so I know very 井戸／弁護士席 how a car should behave!" the angry doctor says. But the mechanic doesn't give up: "Have you checked your eyesight - maybe you can't even see the road!" Then the doctor goes to another 修理 shop. In 1986 Swedish singer Monica Törnell took ill with chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome. It took a １０年間, however, before she got her diagnosis. In a newspaper interview from 1996 she tells us that she used to be able to stay out of bed about an hour - "the Cinderella syndrome", she called it, "since she had at the most one hour and a half before the （一定の）期間 broke".[14] In 1998 she appeared on TV in the program "Livslust" (Lust for life) and gave an account of her life with the 病気. At that time she had also started singing again. In 1992 Swedish tennis player Helena Anliot was taken ill. She was 攻撃する，衝突する by an exhaustion so strong that it became impossible to even take a walk. She became "脅すd out of her wits when the doctors could find nothing wrong with her", she says in an interview in daily newspaper Dala-Demokraten in 1998. Her troubles were several: chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役, 頭痛, 共同の and muscle 苦痛, fungal 感染s, dizzy （一定の）期間s, 二塁打 見通し, heart arrhythmia, （犯罪の）一味ing in the ears, loss of hair, abscesses, 減ずるd short-称する，呼ぶ／期間／用語 memory, whole-団体／死体 （軽い）地震 after exertion etc. This is what she said in the interview about the doctors' 態度: They thought I was a hypochondriac. I was not. I love 存在 healthy. You can tell when doctors believe that you are mentally ill instead. 存在 扱う／治療するd like that degrades your self-信用／信任.[15] 結局 Helena Anliot 嫌疑者，容疑者／疑うd that she was 水銀柱，温度計 毒（薬）d and had her amalgam fillings 除去するd. She is one of many 事例／患者s that has 改善するd. によれば the article from 1998 she is 完全に 回復するd. Many are those who have fought against their illness but finally have been 軍隊d to give up the career they are known for. Jackson Parkhurst, leader of the North Carolina Symphony Orchestra, got CFS in 1993 and tried hard to continue with his work but had to give it up in 1995. The American women's サッカー player Michelle Akers retired in October 2001, after a brilliant career spanning 15 years, and she is now active in coaching young talents. American speedskater Amy Peterson has been struggling with CFS for six years. Her darkest days were in 1996 and 1997, before she got a 指名する for her illness, the Chicago Tribune 令状s.[16] Some days she can hardly get out of bed, but she is still active and carried the 旗 at the Winter Olympics 開会式 in Salt Lake City in 2002. Singer Susan Abod, who was a member of, for instance, the Chicago Women's 解放 激しく揺する 禁止（する）d, and 問題／発行するd folk music on the famous Rounder label, got her diagnosis of CFS in the 中央の-80's: "When I got sick, everything just stopped", she says in the magazine Town Online. "My whole life as I knew it 完全に changed. I had to stop working and make 傷をいやす／和解させるing my 最初の／主要な vocation."[17] Many 患者s probably 認める this, how one almost gets a new profession, where the assignment is 回復. Susan Abod also made a film about her illness, "Funny You Don't Look Sick: Autobiography of an Illness", 首相d in 1995. Abod is now starting to get better, after 15 years. And then there is jazz ピアニスト Keith Jarrett. I have been having a dialog with him for the most part of my life - at least since 1969 - as a listener, as an amateur at the piano, and now all of a sudden I find myself again having a dialog with him as a 患者. During a 小旅行する in Italy 1996 he suddenly felt 完全に drained of energy, and this was not just 一時的な exhaustion, he says in an interview in the New York Times.[18] It was rather "as if 外国人s had entered my 団体／死体", he says. And it felt as if that maybe was the last time he would be able to play. "At the last concert, I 現実に played a dirge - for myself", Jarrett says. Jarrett is renowned for his very 需要・要求するing 単独の concerts, where he いつかs ひどく, いつかs delicately improvises from his innermost, 遂行する／発効させるing a 力／強力にする and 集中 that could suck the 骨髄 out of anyone. In the 70's he 成し遂げるd up to 50 such concerts per year, 継続している several hours each. The 推論する／理由 he managed to go through with the 小旅行する in Italy was that he 残り／休憩（する）d in bed all the time he didn't 成し遂げる. Jarrett believes that he took ill partly because of long-time 強調する／ストレス, partly because of a parasite 感染. Now he went through a strict therapy with special diet and 抗生物質s. There were better days and worse days - a pattern everybody 苦しむing from CFS are familiar with. In an interview in the Los Angeles Times in 1999 Jarrett comments on the very 指名する of the 病気: The stupid thing is that the 指名する of the 病気 is so lightweight. It sounds like somebody whining to their mother, "I don't want to take the garbage out." [...] But some doctors say that if you want to give the 普通の／平均（する） person an idea [...] it's like the last four months of an エイズ 患者's life - but forever. [19] And in an interview in Frankfurter Allgemeine the summer 2001 he says: When I was ill, even just turning the page of a 調書をとる／予約する was infinitely hard for me. I could hardly go up the stairs anymore and walking 10 メーターs became a big problem.[20] As for many of us it took some time for Jarrett to get a diagnosis: "In the beginning, I just read and read, trying to 人物／姿／数字 out what the hell it could be", he says in the Los Angeles Times interview.
Keith Jarrett's "The Melody At Night With You", which was 解放（する）d in 1999.
Just listening to music made him exhausted. When he finally could do this again, he noticed that his 態度 toward music had changed. When Jarrett 結局 started to play again at home, it sounded very different from before. In 1999 he 解放（する）d a few nocturnal home studio 開会／開廷／会期s 肩書を与えるd "The Melody At Night With You", and many critics believed they could hear the illness 逮捕（する）d in his music, and that his former virtuosity was gone.[21] But Jarrett has 設立する something 肯定的な in that which he cannot change. He has 設立する a new way of playing: My fingers had to re-create a new memory. When I listen to my old recordings, I often think I don't like what I'm playing, like with the left 手渡す. Now, I no longer have to tell my left 手渡す, "don't do that, I don't like that." Now it plays what I want.[22] Jarrett has also 設立する a new way of listening, and when he plays he often feels that it could be his last time at the piano. But this is not something 完全に 消極的な, he says: If I think, today the imaginative 味方する is not really working but maybe tomorrow, then I'll play 異なって than under the 前提 of a last concert. But what if there is no tomorrow? You don't need to feel at all unsettled by that, there's nothing 消極的な about it. But you play 異なって with this knowledge.[23] Jarrett has been 軍隊d to learn how to play again, he must 調査（する） every 公式文書，認める. It seems 論理（学）の that he 初めは ーするつもりであるd to give the 記録，記録的な／記録する from 1998 the 肩書を与える "Touch".[24] First he plays one 公式文書，認める, then he plays another one. I 認める this very 井戸／弁護士席 myself, from music, from 令状ing - and from life in general. I used to think like that when I played, long before I got sick. I have been thinking like that when I have been 実験ing with poetry. First I 令状 one word. Then I 令状 another one. The 緊張 that is 生成するd between them is what 利益／興味s me. That 緊張 might give birth to a third word - or a third 公式文書，認める. Maybe it will. Maybe not. This 肉親，親類d of tuning in with the 現在の gets a new meaning when one is ill. Keith Jarrett is 支援する now, playing with his trio now and then, but circumstances are やめる new. The story of his illness illustrates how important it is to 決定する one's 優先s and learn to live in a different way; not to 降伏する, yet 受託する the new 状況／情勢 and its 可能性s.
(This article has a sequel, "合意 and Canaries: About 医療の Science and its 忠義s".)
Noter: 1. See George E. Meinig, Root Canal Cover-up, 1996, where the author accounts for the root canal 研究 made by Weston Price. [支援する] 2. Usually, I regard 1993 as the year I took ill. But, as a 事柄 of fact, a few symptoms had appeared earlier. The very first attacks of dizziness and cramps in my stomach （機の）カム during a stay in Italy in August 1991. And in 1998 when I read through some old diary pages from the 80's, I 設立する - to my big surprise - that I had 協議するd a doctor for heart arrhythmia and other problems just two months after my root canal was filled in 1983 (the root that is now 完全に 除去するd). And three years later I wrote this in my diary, on April 20, 1986: "支援する 苦痛 and aching 武器, as usual." November 17, 1986: "The last two nights, I have had terrible 苦痛s in my 支援する, my neck and in a tooth that has a filled root canal, also 頭痛 and a sore 注目する，もくろむ - it's as if my whole 権利 味方する is aching, and I get unpleasant phantasies about paralysis and such things." November 24, 1986: "My toothache finally got unbearable. Last Thursday I got an 緊急 任命 with the dentist in Kristineberg, and he didn't seeem to understand what was the 事柄, but his guess was 感染 (no abscess though), so he 定める／命ずるd penicillin, which I have taken now for a couple of days. It was 効果的な. The sores in my gum had almost 全く disappeared by Friday evening." January 4, 1987: "I 令状 this, with a feeling of 霧 in my 長，率いる and with my foot in a bucket of 麻薬を吸うing hot water. During the night I got a strange 病気; my whole 権利 脚 is aching, 特に my heel and the hollow of the 膝, a disgusting feeling, as if I was rotting from within. A somewhat 激烈な metaphor, but that is how it feels." February 3, 1987: "Today is the first day I have had strength enough to stay up. After the fever went 負かす／撃墜する a few days ago, I got the 支配するs instead and also nausea ... could it be gastric catarrh? Besides, I have been 完全に 疲労，（軍の）雑役d, if I have been up washing the dishes, for instance, I must すぐに go to bed and sleep for a couple of hours." December 7, 1987: "I woke up with horrible muscle 苦痛s e verywhere in the upper part of my 団体／死体." I remember that I 支援する then regarded all this as strange but 孤立するd occurrences, かもしれない psychosomatic. During a period I even considered psychoanalysis. When looking at this in retrospect, in the light of what happened later on, these symptoms seem to fit into another pattern. [支援する] 3. Maryland Film Festival homepage, 2 May 2001. The film is about chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役 syndrome. サッカー player Michelle Akers and movie director Blake Edwards, who are both afflicted, tell their stories in the film. [支援する] 4. This 実験（する） has since then become more or いっそう少なく banned by the Swedish 国家の Board of Health and 福利事業 - they advise against it - which is remarkable since the 当局 at the same time in a 報告（する）／憶測 明言する／公表するd that 肌 実験（する）s are insufficient ーするために assertain oversensitivity toward, for instance, 水銀柱，温度計. The MELISA 実験（する） 許すs for 孤立／分離 of 決定的な 免疫の 機能（する）／行事s in a 標準化するd 研究室／実験室 環境, where it is possible to 熟考する／考慮する さまざまな reactions in 詳細（に述べる）. This せねばならない be a 価値のある complement to 肌 実験（する）ing. [支援する] 5. Glutathione is a compund 含む／封じ込めるing sulphur (a いわゆる tripeptide), which is an antioxidant 保護するing the 団体／死体 from 解放する／自由な 過激なs. The 実体 is also an indespensible part of the 団体／死体's detox 過程, for instance, when it comes to transferring fat soluble toxins into water soluble toxins, which can be excreted through urine. Acetylcysteine has for a long time been used to 解散させる mucus, in 関係 with cough for example, but it is also 伴う／関わるd in the detox 過程, it helps and 保護するs the 肝臓 and also 高めるs the 生産／産物 of glutathione. [支援する] 6. In this 状況 one might wonder how 井戸／弁護士席 the chemo-receptors in the 血 work. It is a remarkable fact that I almost never yawn nowadays, not even when I see others do it, which is さもなければ a rather ありふれた 現象. Maybe there is some 機能不全ing with my chemo-receptors, which 普通は 知らせる the brain about the 血 content of oxygen. In a 類似の way, the system that 警告するs about dehydration seems partly out of order. I seldom get a normal sense of かわき, and I never sweat from exertion, while I do sweat enormously when 影響（力）d by electromagnetic fields, without having to move at all. I might sense a dryness in my mouth and realize I must drink, but I never experience that special 楽しみ which is normal when slaking one's かわき. [支援する] 7. There is a third good, but rather peculiar, 影響 that may be 報告（する）／憶測d. I have often felt a 相当な 改良 in my general health 条件 for a few days after more 広範囲にわたる 血 実験（する）s, when they have drawn more than three 実験（する） tubes of 血. Maybe this 軍隊s the system to 新たにする the 血? [支援する] 8. This is the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of symptoms: 苦痛 in muscles and soft tissues of the 武器, 脚s, 手渡すs and feet; 共同の 苦痛; a 証拠不十分 in the muscles around the waist (difficulty standing upright); a 証拠不十分 in the muscles around the 膝s (difficulty to stand and walk); jaw muscle 苦痛; jaw and tooth ache; 苦痛 in the muscles of the 注目する，もくろむ; ordinary 頭痛; migraine; dizziness; "dizzy 脚s", i.e. a 地元の feeling of 欠如（する） of 安定 and 支配（する）／統制する; "brainfog"; a feeling "as if a wet scouring cloth is placed on 最高の，を越す of the brain"; extreme sensitivity to light; extreme sensitivity to sound; extreme sensitivity to odours (e.g. タバコ smoke or perfume); extreme sensitivity to touch; extreme sensitivity to heat (a 普通は tempered bath is perceived as scolding); hypersensitivity to wetness on the 肌; hypersensitivity to, for instance, 穴をあけるs with a hypodermic needle; creeping sensations in the 団体／死体; twitches (まず第一に／本来 in the 脚s and the nape of the neck); overgrowth of candida albicans or fungal 感染s; 収縮過程s of the diaphragm; a feeling of 酸性 and 生産／産物 of 空気／公表する in the stomach; 苦痛 in the upper part of the stomach; 苦痛 in the 復部の ventricle; 苦痛 in the guts; prostate 苦痛; breathing difficulties; no breathing difficulties but instead a rustling sound in the 肺s when 吸い込むing; difficulty to speak; 一時的な amnesia; 一時的な slight dyslexia; 激しい sweating and sensations of fever (mostly not high fever, いつかs around 37,4° C (99.3 °F) - my normal 気温 is around 36,6-36,8 °C (97.9- 98.2 °F); sore throat for a short time (e.g. during half a day); running nose for a short time (e.g. during half a day); caugh for a short time (e.g. during half a day); 支援する 苦痛; 膝 苦痛 with a twinging sensation; さまざまな 地元の 感染s, e.g. in an 注目する，もくろむ, a lip etc.; 極端に tender and partly numb toes; the balls of the feet 極端に tender (difficulty to walk - 特に 直接／まっすぐに after sleep); 乾燥した，日照りの mouth; 厳しい chronic 疲労，（軍の）雑役; a more 一時的な (up to 24 hou rs) extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役 (impossible to move the arm even an インチ); extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役 - 連合させるd with difficulty to sleep; extreme 疲労，（軍の）雑役 - 連合させるd with 極端に long periods of sleep, up to 20 hours; 乱すd sleep during periods of (to me) more normal 疲労，（軍の）雑役 (then I sleep in intervals 負かす／撃墜する to five minutes at a time, thus waking up around 90 times per night). In all this is 48 symptoms, but all of them do not appear 同時に. When I am at my worst I might have 30 of them. I never have 無 symptoms, but a good day might pass with only the first item on the 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる）, 苦痛 in muscles and soft tissues of the 武器, 脚s, 手渡すs and feet. This happens maybe 20 times per year. On a 公正に／かなり good day, when I can work almost like when I was healthy, the symptoms are usually five at the most, and then 非，不，無 of the most 厳しい ones or any of those that 影響する／感情 my cognition, like "brainfog". Such "公正に／かなり good" days also occur maybe 20 times a year. The 残り／休憩（する） of the time I have either many of the はしけ symptoms, or a few of the more 厳しい ones. The 底（に届く） line is, however, that I cannot work (or do anything else) more than maybe a couple of hours a week under these circumstances.[支援する] 9. In March 2001 the BBC 報告（する）／憶測d about a 調査する of ME 患者s in the UK, carried out by "活動／戦闘 for ME", where 2,338 persons 答える／応じるd to questions about their illness and health care. A third of them said they had had to wait at least 18 months for a diagnosis. 52 パーセント （人命などを）奪う，主張するd that an earlier diagnosis would help. 70 パーセント are いつかs or always unable to get to a doctor's clinic, and 80 パーセント of those who are bedridden have been 辞退するd a house-call by a doctor. See "ME 患者s 'neglected and suicidal'", BBC News/Health, 21 March, 2001.[支援する] 10. Aspirin 含む／封じ込めるs acetylsalicylic 酸性の, which seems to be an underrated 治療（薬） in some 使用／適用 areas. For me, it usually does not kill 苦痛, but it might 除去する a 確かな 肉親，親類d of brainfog, it （疑いを）晴らすs my 長，率いる. It might also relieve me of what I call a general sensation of 感染, or 減少（する） inflammation. This is a 麻薬 that has been used for more than 2,000 years, at least if one 含むs its crudest form, salicine. But more uses for it are still 存在 設立する, and the nature of its 影響（力） on the human 団体／死体 is not fully understood. The painkilling and antipyretic 影響s are 予定 to the capacity of acetylsalicylic 酸性の to inhibit the 生産／産物 of the hormonelike 実体s called prostaglandins. [支援する] 11. Doug Shore, "M.E. & FM 手動式の", 1997. [支援する] 12. Fitzpatrick M, "ME: the making of a new 病気", Spiked Central 17 January 2002. Fitzpatrick would probably regard my two articles in this 問題／発行する of The Art 貯蔵所 as yet another example of how indefatigable we CFS 苦しんでいる人s are when it comes to arguing. However, these articles took me two years to 令状. Had I been healthy, it would have taken three or four months. [Tillbaka] 13. "Dr. Dean Edell - is fibromyalgia a 苦痛 messenger problem?", 初めは broadcast on March 8, 2001. [支援する] 14. Ulrika Häggroth, "Monica Törnell var svårt sjuk i tio år. Nu hoppas hon på en ny karriär", Expressen, 24 September 1996. [支援する] 15. "Amalgamsanering gjorde Helena frisk", Dala-Demokraten, 5 January 1998. [支援する] 16. "For Peterson, competing is the 平易な part", Chicago Tribune, 14 December 2001. [支援する] 17. Matthew S. Robinson, "Living Moment to 'Moment'", TAB, 17 May 2001. [支援する] 18. "Still 戦う／戦いing an illness: Jarrett ends his silence", The New York Times, 8 November 1998. [支援する] 19. "A ferocious spirit, untamed", The Los Angeles Times, 23 February 1999. [支援する] 20. "The Uniqueness and Secrets Behind the Tokyo Tapes", Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, 31 July 2001. [支援する] 21. Rubien, D, "Keith Jarrett: A 巨大（な） of jazz 革新 finds himself reaching new 高さs by deftly 解釈する／通訳するing classic tunes", Salon, 4 December 2000. [支援する] 24. "Die Legende vom Wassertrinker", Tagesspiegel Online, 30 July 2001. [支援する]
Copyright © Karl-Erik Tallmo, 2003.
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Firstly, the fact that I am self-雇うd, which means I may work when I can. If I feel 公正に／かなり 承認する some time between four and six in the morning, I will work then. Had I had a 正規の／正選手 雇用 nine to five, I would probably have been on 早期に 退職 already in 1995 or 1996.
