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William Ray: Circle

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William Ray: Circle

From the poetic essay "On the 当局 of the Moon"


HERE IS NOISE in 豊富. A circle, a gerrymander on the curve of the horizon - which can still 持つ/拘留する this 負わせる. Over which the moon still rises. "Let the sun rise; I'm goin' to work."
   魔法 orbiter spreads its passion here, spreads its passion here ... here, showing all, raising all to their uneager consciousness. Orange red 存在 of the moment. Newspaper stand, coffee shop, gas and garage.
   "I must 運動 the car, get to work
          運動 the car, get to work."
   アイロンをかける roads, 迷宮/迷路 of 産業の 願望(する); steel 軸s 運動ing into the sky, peering, like an 外国人 into our world, out into the world. Dirt pirouettes this street 抑制(する); ガス/煙s rise like 祈り. The haggard, gray lips swallow more building each hour. 幅の広い and 狭くする, even gaits, limps, macks mostly 急ぐ the eager 職業s that 需要・要求する obedience, silent servitude.
   "The sun sweats with me, I know this. It 恐れるs the same thing I do. The slackers, the trash under foot, the 失業した lazies. I feel its desperate 辛勝する/優位 on my 直面する and know it's kindred. My heart is pumpin' it's pumpin' - not what that one thinks with his poor 黒人/ボイコット 注目する,もくろむs, no. The sun and God above know I'm 権利. They know me."
   Some kids race for the bus, others dare traffic for the tram, others amble, slowing 負かす/撃墜する, 負かす/撃墜する, saved from the 強調する/ストレス by knowledge of the 広大な/多数の/重要な hoax at the other end. Some pack an advertised lunch, others a knife.
   Craning street lamps, city 監視者s, 観察する all, 公式文書,認めるing 神経s that at their outermost blossom despair, bursting brilliantly いつかs into hate. 公式文書,認めるing love, 生き残るing toughly, love, 廃虚d. 記録,記録的な/記録するing the decibels of even-stepping insanity.
   And here a man is singing, perhaps dreaming. Though maybe he's daylight drunk. Singing his heart louder than the city's cry. They pass him ignoring doggedly, hurrying unfazedly, laughing bemusedly.
   Hurrying unfazed, "I'll make them hear me, the idiots; don't know how to run a 商売/仕事 - a 商売/仕事, a 商売/仕事. It'll be 地雷 to run soon."
   In through the mouth of this building buddha. Feet 転換 at the 祈り-silent silver door. Impatiently up the serene 軸, 許容するing the featherweight underlings. "What can they do ... banter's their 特権." But he 転換s his feet 怒って, a bull making ready, when one 持つ/拘留するs the door to 延長する 雑談(する) to the other. Another minute and he'd remind them, "It's company time."
   Yellowing orange light follows the elevator door as he 出口s 敏速に to his office suffused in this morning bath. Ignore the good morning of a younger 同僚, for it's good to toughen up for the day. And as he sits to his 終点,
   a family wakes angry, wakes 冷淡な. It's school time. They're late for school. The children's lesson today again will be the swiftness of 麻薬s and 弾丸s, the arc of knives, and the 無関心/冷淡 of 当局. They've learned already, like their mother from so long, the country's lecture on thin heat, roaches, 冷淡な tan water, 破産した/(警察が)手入れするd 塀で囲むs. Landlord's got a 温度計 that tells his truth. Above all, they've been taught the 僕主主義 of space, have breathed the pent 空気/公表する of their arched 天井s.
   And they know they have nothing, and so are nothing. Mother, son, and daughter carry around the 捨てる of a speech, "You were born in the ghetto, but the ghetto wasn't born in you!" like a 乾燥した,日照りのd fruit, nuthin' much but peel.
   He's pulled up his 十分な-page newspaper 広告 to advise once more the 衝撃 of money. He looks the fifth or sixth indignant time at the first line: "Why are some 上院議員s and the 大統領,/社長 圧力(をかける)ing our buttons?" It's good, it's 積極的な, but it hasn't the sun's desperate 解雇する/砲火/射撃. "Why are some 政治家,政治屋s trying to 損失 America?" Yes that's it. No: "Why are some 政治家,政治屋s trying to 廃虚 our country?" Better! "港/避難所't they noticed that 共産主義 is dead?" Too strong? "Do they really believe that the failed social 政策s of foreign countries can help America?" Good - but no, keep it strong.
   He'll make sure that the girl lying on her broken mattress in another part of the circle doesn't rise to go to her wasted school (which she even doesn't always mind) today, tomorrow, or for so many days the school counsellor will wearily call to tersely ask why Jeanine hasn't been coming to school. The 特権 to rise is for those who work. His (弁護士の)依頼人's words, of course, their thought; their fight. But he doesn't 同意しない with the words. His 戦う/戦い is with all for dollars, so dollars to stanch the poor, the uninsured, is simple madness, simpler than his 広告. The account is big.

   Midmorning hum of his god of work: clean, fresh glass of leader offices looking into 列/漕ぐ/騒動 on 列/漕ぐ/騒動 of busy cubicles. 長官s, smart and dialing, sending, receiving. 動議 to and fro. 会合s small and large. Work, work, work - what makes America America
    ... his happiness.

   The phone brings the dark timbre of the young man ignored earlier this morning, requesting to show his work. The boy's mind has been filled with pictures ever since college, his 広大な/多数の/重要な 発見 that Aaron Douglas, Mailou Jones, even Degas, Lautrec knew him - or he knew them, he wasn't sure. But he had been advised by wise people that he 手配中の,お尋ね者 to eat, that 絵 was a 週末 sport, that he must teach or perhaps design or maybe sell. So he (機の)カム here, to dream that the advertising world is an art world, that after it, or と一緒に it, would come the studio, wide, hard, and open にもかかわらず its 天然のまま setting, and all the canvassed beauty of his imagination.
   At the respectful tap at the door, he nods the young man in, watching, thinking, as he always does at the onset of 確かな people, of affirmative 活動/戦闘, 基準s, the challenge of hemlines and mannish 控訴s in the workplace. Finally some nothing words, that young Frank has never been able to make out but doesn't care for: "There's young Hank Aaron." Then, "How's the Livelife account." "I never played much ball, Mr. Wright - here is the layout." "Beautiful beautiful, as always Sims, but you could be a little plainer about what you're selling." And as he crosses, advises, adjusts, enjoying this destructive 当局 over the young man's 持つ/拘留する on beauty, Sims finds his little used window. Taking in the music of six tram doors, 開始 and の近くにing as if under a baton; a hawker swimming through stopped cars; the gait of the sun on the white sidewalk; and the diabolical 早いs of people passing. "Humph?" he says, 押すing the layout at Sims. "Oh, yes, I see what you mean," - big smile. And he でっちあげる,人を罪に陥れるs his picture outside the window. "Thank you, Mr. Wright." The quick 新たな展開 of his computer 審査する, the recomposition of his 直面する is his reply, his 解雇/(訴訟の)却下.
   A bird dives straight 負かす/撃墜する through the window, beyond Wright's shoulder, as Sims leaves.

   Rid of the interruption, he turns the 審査する aside, pulls from his desk his 提案 "逮捕(する)ing a 株 of the School Market." His gem that the old timers are 妨げるing at. He reads from the first page: "School boys and girls of all socio-経済的な and 民族の backgrounds 代表する serious 消費者 dollars. Direct advertising in the schools 申し込む/申し出s an obvious advantage over more 伝統的な ways of reaching this market." Obvious to anyone but 守備隊 and Bernstein. His new house, newly angled but stately and remote as though from another century, his 巡査 Benz 残り/休憩(する)ing on the upswung curve of the driveway, lithe wife stirring friends by the nightlit green of the pool - his gem they want to kill with some petty words about bumping up against 伝統的な 教育の values! They want to "go slow," ginger the educators and critics, 限界 time and type of 広告. He spins for a rare gaze out the wide window. "What's slow - gingerly - or 限られた/立憲的な out there? They're struggling with all their might - just like the sun struggles each day to rise and then settle 負かす/撃墜する after a day's work, people just don't see it. It 傷つけるs ... Like me ... In fact, they really don't want to go; they believe, somehow, in those - what! - 伝統的な 教育の values! ... What I've learned - 井戸/弁護士席, no school teacher taught me."
   The sun fights to pass the pane to get to his airconditioned neck as he rehearses his arguments once more for a final 押し進める at the oblong (米)棚上げする/(英)提議する. It is a struggle; he'll 勝利,勝つ. Other companies are in; he'll get in. Bernstein, 守備隊, the others at the (米)棚上げする/(英)提議する will 転換 pieces of themselves, as though they were the 有望な squares of a thumb puzzle: their しつけ - the simple words over a child's 調書をとる/予約する, a teenage 失敗, a letter to college - their learning - stopping their ears to the 激しい words of a particular teacher - their remaining 原則s of work and family, until - presto! - there's a 修正するd man that looks out at the others and says, as though 満足させるd, "Yes, there's 長所 here, let's give it a try."
   Try harder, through this new way, to sell for their (弁護士の)依頼人s. So that our children might learn the beauty of a new tread on a basketball shoe, the 潔白 of a soft drink, the social 義務 of a pair of ジーンズs, the necessity to their education of the wealth of marketers' ideas . Behind Wright's 満足させるd 直面する is a new かかわり合い to the teaching of the 絶対の importance of buying, buying, buying, and selling. And as a golden afterthought, "Yes, we'll run, for 解放する/自由な, some anti-麻薬 広告s too." 広告s against 麻薬s, yes. So young 麻薬 販売人s, who have already learned to need expensive sneakers and a gun, will learn irony too. "You know, I gotta (麻薬)常用者 you, Young Sister, so that I can get these 罰金 shoes and soon a 罰金 car, hey, it's what they taught me at school." For already, though Mrs. Wilson lets the 審査する that now 肘s her blackboard 嘘(をつく) mute and gray while she speaks of the things she has always spoken of, Mr. Fusco, on whom it's been impressed that "They hate me and learning, and their parents are no good," 簡単に lets the TV run, 信用ing there'll be some 無作為の learning in the 中央 of selling.

   At lunch Wright bathes himself in alcohol. The yellow light rises and rises in him, making happier and happier plays for his 長,率いる. As he playfully darts and dodges, he grins to himself amongst the finery of white linen, balanced cutlery, and gently placed dishes. And his goals march themselves past him in neat review: the house, the 運動 with car, the pool, a school "with some history" for young Jim, and, something new 試験的に bringing up the 後部: perhaps a little something いっそう少なく 疲れた/うんざりした than Janet on the 味方する. He leaves a fair tip.

   It isn't the drink, he thinks, when in the 中央の-afternoon なぎ he hears a 深い, metallic sound - timpani under many feet of water - not from in his office, not 明確に outside the building - annoyingly 無作為の.
   He 中止するs to hear it, as he turns to his coming 任命. One of these expose shows did a hatchet 職業 on a major player - 違反 of safety codes, irresponsible 治療 of 労働者s, that sort of thing. He shakes 手渡すs 堅固に with the (弁護士の)依頼人 who has slid, a gray slice - bland against Wright's robustness - into the office.
   "A 労働者 gets 傷つける," the slice says. "Tragically, maybe one dies under a piece of 器具/備品." Then with 強調, "Our 顧客s get the mistaken impression that 資本/首都 会社/団体 doesn't take care of its 労働者s and doesn't care about 消費者 safety either. Oh we'll 告訴する these - 新聞記者/雑誌記者s," then smiling, "We'll find out how much money they've got, but we need to do something about our public image, change the thinking of some 労働者s, 同様に as some 疑問ing 顧客s."
   They understand one another. The 機関 has always 高く評価する/(相場などが)上がるd his 和合 with (弁護士の)依頼人s, his 欠如(する) of a need of many words. Clasping tight his pen, he runs over the 構成要素, a man 永久的に 無能にするd by a rollover 乗り物, one dead, a long 名簿(に載せる)/表(にあげる) of 事故s 報告(する)/憶測d - the rabid 直面する of dissent: Ambition, he thinks, it's all ambition, and what's wrong with ambition in America?
   "I'm thinking about a 公式文書,認める like "There's nothing wrong with Ambition." The gray slice smiles, they shake 手渡すs, as the sun lowers below the highest buildings. As 資本/首都 Corp. leaves, a (疑いを)晴らす, bold 広告 saving ambition from the pink-gummed dogs of dissent 広げるs easily in his 長,率いる, with the felicity with which one imagines music 広げるing from Mozart's mind.

   Young Sims is sketching a whispy 広告, with sophisticated leaps of imagery, 審理,公聴会 the saxophone he wants playing in the background. He's forgotten what he's selling.

   影をつくる/尾行するs escape the hindrance of buildings, sunset sidles along remaining city spaces, admires miniscule 中心-of-town streets, the 残余s of the past century. 自動車s still 圧力 those that 妨害する them, though there is flow now. The 輸送 system has begun to breathe more 定期的に, but 乗客s still sigh, 肘, and shoulder for space, as though it were a 商品/必需品 当局 had 発表するd would no longer be 利用できる. Insufficiently ambitious, Sims has left, strong in the 早期に evening light that (一定の)期間s people, poetry, 絵 for him. Now Wright is making for the swift click of his car door, the smooth hum to 推進する him out of the circle before nightfall,
   since the city soon nervously shakes away the Eastern 静める of the 商売/仕事 offices and turns 本気で to drink, lust, love, drugging, brawling, 殺人,大当り. Watchful grandparents, aunts have gathered up their children's children and の近くにd their doors to the city's 脅すing knocking. One boy hurrying home late from the school program that flung him far from his 列/漕ぐ/騒動 house touches the knife in his pocket his parents 認可するd and his teacher reluctantly returned after 審理,公聴会 the history of his homecoming. A teenage girl, big for her age, struggles with the 侵略 masquerading as charm of the boy who's cornered her. Another rides up and 負かす/撃墜する with her man who's going to make good - whose baby she will 耐える and 最終的に bring up alone with the support of a circle of school friends who wear their outcast in their 注目する,もくろむs, who give a トン to the 確かな 回廊(地帯) of the school they 居住させる, and with perhaps the help of a kindly grandmother.
   Gentlemen, drunk or bitter from the 商売/仕事 貿易(する), eager, unlike him, to put aside moderation, 得点する/非難する/20 静かに, nervously in parts of the city they've come to know. They 会合,会う, always with a 確かな surprise, their twin images in the druggist's Benz, BMW, beeper, 細胞の phone, and his crisp 商売/仕事 manner. His 殺人,大当り is direct, though, and the (n)役員/(a)執行力のある must 尊敬(する)・点 this, as he fumbles for his cash.
   As his 同僚 steals away, delighted as a child breaking a school 支配する, Wright reaches the 静かな 郊外 of his home. In town, the neighbors can hear too vividly the wife bruising, the 乱用 of children. Here it goes on under the cover of long yards, almost poetic in the night 空気/公表する, high hedges and 盗品故買者s, silenced by the buddhistic facade of tall houses. As he pulls into the 運動, shutting 負かす/撃墜する the 自動車 with a 満足させるing hiss, he can see his son and daughter through the picture window: 確信して profiles; no 運動-bys here.
   But the moon rises over the circle and the 郊外s alike. Its light has entered a city home where a woman dances with it, sings to it, dreams to it. Indeed, dreaming in the city (人が)群がるs hurriedly around the 甘い 冷気/寒がらせる of the disk. For, 封鎖するs away from the woman who is dancing, the 解雇する/砲火/射撃 of 麻薬s and money have lit up the tired facade of a house where someone who "messed up" lives. Who lies dead or maimed in the house will serve as the lesson. And in the ghostly 影をつくる/尾行するs of a 砂漠d playground, a hot animal is breathing in the pinned 直面する of "a problem" between knuckling the 直面する and 問題/発行するing the 原則s of his 法律. This one will be 許すd to 生き残る, to live more 正確に; the hard, red woman he'll come to next will 簡単に be killed, expendable trash.
   Everyone must learn the hard 原則s of buying and selling. 単独のs 非難する sidewalks, clap quick time out of pavement, tires squeal, lights flash before 存在 hung by 不明瞭, as it goes on through the night. Until the new day bursts its 炎上 of new riotous traffic.

 © Copyright William Ray.

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